For better or worse, shows often become synonymous with their finales. Some elevate a series beyond what it was. Hello, The Fugitive. Some leave people angry and disappointed, like The Sopranos or evidently How I Met Your Mother. Some will forever be debated. Looking at you LOST and Seinfeld. So what is Warehouse 13's finale legacy? To be honest, I'm not sure. It's a weird little clip show montage that is high on character catharsis but low on action or even fun. My guess is that how you judge the finale will depend in part on why you watch the show. If the characters are the most important part and you just want to spend a little more time with them, then this should be an exceptional finale for you. If you are more interested in the action, plot, artifacts, or mysteries, then chances are you will prefer the previous episode as a finale.

The saga begins with Mrs. Frederic saying the warehouse is ending and demanding that they all contribute their defining moments at Warehouse 13 to the time capsule. They do this by placing their hand on Arthur's Round Table so the warehouse can sift through their memories and choose the pinnacle for them. Obviously Pete rejects this assignment, feeling like they are giving up the warehouse without a fight. The warehouse means too much for him to just walk away and he sees the other's acceptance of their fate as a personal affront. He storms off but one by one, they do as they are told. For each character, we get a clip show of their greatest hits and then a defining moment that was not previously aired. Some are funny like Claudia's, although the ramifications of hers makes little sense as far as her characterization goes, especially with having Steve as a best friend. Artie's is shocking, a huge twist to the character that I never expected. Steve's is full of wonder and Myka's, revelation. They each get to say goodbye to the warehouse in their own way, a cathartic release of emotion we as the audience take with them. While I would have preferred to make last week's episode a two-parter and devote more time and depth to stopping Valda, many fans will find this a satisfying way to say goodbye to the characters they have come to love.


Grade: B-

Best Scene - Artie breaks down while talking to the warehouse

Best Awww Scene / Best Character Interaction - Artie tells Claudia it's okay to be a little selfish and be your own self

Best Quote - "Okay I've got an idea. How about instead of sitting around the mystical table of kumbaya, we do something crazy like, I don't know, stop it from moving, right?" / "I just want you to be happy."

Best Reason to Watch - It's the finale. If you need a reason, it's not worth watching.

Best Cameo - H G Wells

Most Surprising Cameo - *****

Best Action - Ninja cat burglar kung fu fighting

Most Way Out There - Steve's moment

Biggest Shock - Artie's moment. It is definitely a "What the what?!?" time.

Funniest Scene - Claudia's defining moment

The "I Wish I Were You" Award - Steve, who gets to see a lot of great warehouse moments we don't get to see. Not fair! He even got to see Mr. Frederic.

Bittersweet Moment - all of them shouting, "Best job ever."

The "You've Thought Too Much on This" Award - Steve knows exactly which one of the Munsters each of them are

Biggest Hypocrite - Artie

The "What the Heck?" Award - the flash forward at the end pretty much negates much of what happens in the episode


Screencaps by Nerdly, SyFy, The Trades, and The Examiner.

Previously - Valda portal jumped to the original timeline, while Claire was put in a coma and then kidnapped by Valda.


Slamming into Claire's previous B & B, Claudia freaks that maybe she did something that made Claire worse. Artie reassures her and given that the record player is missing, he's right. Claudia: "Nice security in this place." Artie: "Well, you might have noticed that when you broke in." Ha, so true. They use the Durational Spectrometer to find Valda is back. In some random motel, he adds a wicked steam punk lens to Claire's eye which allows him to control her powers and sends her some mental telepathy. When she refuses to obey his commands, it causes a painful feedback to run through her brain. She tries again to brain him with a lamp, but it misses. He's thought of everything. Me, I'm just excited Mark Sheppard is finally back. The Warehouse Crew, not so much. Artie and Claudia fill them in on portal jumping, as Pete turns the ship's wheel in the office. Big mistake. Everyone gets tilted until it is set to rights. Pete: "What? I never knew it did that." Me either buddy. Myka: "Stop touching things." Ha! Always a good plan in the warehouse. Isn't that basically rule #1? Claudia figures out Valda has been living in his room in the Dead Agent's Vault, which is still the creepiest thing around but probably makes the best hangout. Myka tells Pete to come with her and he hems and haws because the PTB are dead set on ruining this show. None of it is worth recapping. At least Myka isn't ruined yet. Myka: "Bring your favorite teddy bear and a night light. Come on." Bwah! Pete has Steve come hold his hand and they search Valda's things. He finds a file on Claire and Claudia. Pete: "What if he was going to use her to create an army of telekinetic rage monsters to conquer the world?" Makes sense to me but Myka finds a key to the Regent's Vault missing so they start there.

In the Lakeshore Valu-Mart / Regent's Vault, they find Keeler murdered by Valda. Sadly, when Artie flips him over, it reveals another artifact - Sir William Perry's inuksuk. Artie barely has time to yell trap before he becomes a purple popsicle. Luckily, Myka and Pete are blasted away so they are not affected. Once the artifact ices over they re-enter but for reasons I do not understand at all, they cannot put an artifact covered in ice in the goo bag. Shouldn't the goo go through the ice? If not, couldn't they place it in the bag and then pound on the artifact instead of doing it outside the bag? Hmmm. Myka deduces that Artie is being cryogenically frozen and after an hour, it will be irreversible. Pete: "Right. There it is. I knew there was some bad news in there somewhere." Such goes a warehouse job. Luckily Pete also remembers Alfred Butz's glasses, which should warm Artie right up. They go to call Steve but it is frigid in the vault. Pete: "Let's call him up there." Ha! Good plan. Steve gets the all-call but is hesitant to leave an irate Claudia. Steve: "Are you okay here on your own?" Claudia: "I'm following Artie's sage advice - channeling my anger." She takes a hammer to Valda's picture. Steve: "I don't think that's what he meant, but if it makes you feel better…" Claudia agrees it does and sends Steve on his way. Claudia: "Artie too. You keep giving me reasons to kick your a** Mr. V." Well Claudia, you better hurry because Valda is about to take down an entire park of people with Claire's help. A mysterious buyer pulls up, Valda tells him to put in earplugs, and Claire starts the record player. Instantly everyone collapses. Valda says in 30 minutes the people will start convulsing, a convincing show of the strength of the artifacts as weapons. He offers to militarize the warehouse for his buyer and create an empire. Then he gives Claire a mason's square to give to the buyer so their plan can begin. Duhn, duhn, duhn.

While Valda threatens to take over the world, the Warehouse Crew thaws out Artie and uses Brigadier General Laverlong's elephant walking stick to create an earthquake in order to knock ice off the inuksuk. Pete smashes, Steve bags, and Artie wakes up irate and uncoordinated. Pete: "Good, he's grumpy. He'll be okay." Ha! Suddenly they are pinged to Rapid City. Pete again tries to avoid working with Myka and Steve calls him on it. I call the writers out on trying to force this plot in 6 episodes. Bah! Myka and Pete get to Rapid City and find the record player just as people start to convulse. Pete goes for the record only to be blasted away. Luckily Claudia has the answer since she finds Chuck Yeager's record among Valda's things. Well the album cover since the record is on player. She hightails it over to bring them Charles Atlas' workout trunks. Myka shimmies them on and succeeds in destroying the record, awakening the people just in time. Of course the trunks create a sinkhole so Pete pantses her just in time, catching her as she swoons. Then he promptly drops her after she thanks him. Whatever. Back to a storyline I can get behind. In the regent's vault, Artie listens to vibrations to determine which item was stolen. What he finds is the worst case scenario. Artie: "Benedict Valda's going to steal the warehouse." Huh? Claudia, Pete, and Myka are similarly confused. Basically he needs 3 tools from Hiram Abiff, the builder of Solomon's first temple - his setting maul, mason square, and compass. When all 3 are used together, it signals the transfer to the next warehouse by turning the artifacts to energy and sending that energy to the new warehouse. Pete and I: "Say what?" Claudia: "It's like the transporter from Star Trek minus the dilithium crystals." Oh, thanks Claudia. So basically, "Beam me up, Scotty" for objects. Artie sends them to get the hammer part of the setting maul before Valda gets it so it's off to Boston and the Green Dragon Tavern.

As for Artie and Steve, they're off to secure the compass in the Aisle of the Widow's Son section of the warehouse. Steve asks why it's called that for all of us and Artie launches into a big spiel about Freemasons before thinking better of it. Artie: "Don't you have access to Wikipedia? Look it up." BWAAHHH!!! Best line of the night. Artie says they store the compass there because it is one of the most secure parts of the warehouse, which of course means…it's gone. Steve: "So when you say safe…" Artie: "Don't start with me." Ha! I love these two together. Valda hid the compass somewhere in the warehouse, and quite frankly, I'm surprised they don't have an artifact that could clue them in to where. But I guess that would be too easy. Fair enough. While our warehouse duo lick their wounds, the Boston trio are not doing much better. They find the Green Dragon Tavern but unfortunately Valda gets there first. Smart Pete comes out to play and figures out Valda used the park disaster as a demonstration of power for the future warehouse owner. I like Smart Pete. Sadly Smart Pete gets stymied by Powered Up Claire, who forces Claudia to hold up a huge slab of rock. One tear rolls down her face as she does. Aww Claire, you keep getting screwed over by artifacts. Pete: "You really think we're going to let you steal the warehouse." Valda: "You really think you have a choice." Good point. It's hard to save the warehouse when your co-worker's sister seals you in a hidden room. Valda assembles the setting maul, activating the compass. Objects start to disappear from the warehouse, moving to their new home. Time to follow the great beacon of light. Artie says it's under the warehouse, which makes zero sense to me. Steve and I: "There's an under the warehouse?" Who knew?

Meanwhile Pete and Myka try to push the huge slab out of the way so they can escape. Myka: "Put your back into it, Lattimer." Pete: "If I put my back any more into it, my kidneys are going to explode." Bwah! This is not the most useful plan. Time to use your heads. And quickly, because Claudia's spider senses are all tingly. Something beyond just moving the warehouse is happening. They figure the colonists would have an escape hatch in case the Redcoats attacked, so they search for a secondary way out and again it's Smart Pete to the rescue. Pete: "One if by land. Two if by sea. Three if by secret passageway. Zoiks, Velma, Daphne, let's go." Ha! Still I call foul on every TV show/movie that uses these shenanigans. No way in 300 years these secret passageways haven't collapsed, been boarded up, or had their mechanisms rusted so badly they don't work. It bugs me every time. It's the literal bugs that get to Pete though. Don't blame you, buddy. I hate spiders too. Claudia tracks Valda to a diplomatic car from the Chinese embassy. Pete: "Outsourcing, huh? This guy gets more evil by the minute." Bwah! Pete gets all the good lines tonight. They call Artie, who confirms that Valda's on a flight to China as they speak. Pete: "Man, I don't want to work in China. It's probably impossible to find a good burrito." Not to mention, I don't think they will let American agents anywhere near the place. You are getting outsourced, Pete. As they head back to the portal, Artie and Steve find the activated compass and plan to goo it. Steve questions if it will work. Artie: "I stopped being sure of things in 1983, but if we don't do something then everything in the warehouse will disappear within a day." Steve: "So no pressure." Sorry buddy. Comes with the job. Naturally goo doesn't work so it's Plan B - sticky string. Woo hoo! I loved that episode. It works for a hot minute but then the compass strikes back, plucking the strings off one strand at a time. I say stick with that plan until you run out of sticky string, myself. Slowing it down is better than nothing at this point.

With the race to get to China on, the Boston trio rush back to the warehouse only to see another set of artifacts disappear. Myka: "I'm not ready for the warehouse to move." Claudia: "This can't be the end." Pete: "This isn't the end. We won't let it be." Pep talk re-invigorating them, they meet up with Artie and Steve. Claudia questions why Valda hasn't killed Claire even though he has everything he needs and Artie thinks he knows why. Claudia: "What? That's a bad tone. What?" Artie explains that when the first caretaker of Warehouse 13 died, her sister, Mrs. Frederic, took over. Pete: "Mrs. Frederic had a sister? So what…Mrs. Frederic of the East?" I'm shocked too. Didn't see that coming. Artie reminds them that Claire is not only powerful but controlled by Valda. Claudia and Myka protest that Claire is still in there but Artie warns them not to lower their guard. Artie: "Don't let your feelings for her be your blind spot." He opens the portal and tells them the new warehouse will be located at Beijing National Olympic Stadium. Artie: "If he finds the cornerstone and strikes it with the setting maul, then the new warehouse will be consecrated, the artifacts will start to phase into their new home, and Warehouse 13 will officially come to an end." Dramatic music swells as they all react to losing the warehouse for good. Pete: "Okay, right. Let's go to China and stop Valda from ordering take-out." Ha! Pete has a unique turn of phrase. They disappear into the portal right as the compass breaks free from the last sticky string. Steve: "Tell me that you have a Plan C." Artie: "We have no choice. We're going to have to destroy the compass." Steve: "What happens if we destroy it?" Artie: "Happily accepting guesses on that." Yep, times are that dire.

Apparently portals take you directly where you want to go because Myka, Pete, and Claudia don't worry about security around the building. I want a portal that helps me skip long plane rides, customs, baggage claims, and taxi rides to the hotel too. Let's release that artifact, stat. No? Darn! Myka, who of course reads Chinese, notices the sign says Warehouse 14 to everyone's chagrin. Things look abandoned as they walk right in, but artifacts pulse in and out. Valda has not struck the cornerstone yet. Pete is mid-sentence about setting a trap, when Claire sticks them to the wall like bugs. It all goes swimmingly for Valda until he starts to villain monologue. Bad move…always! Valda: "Welcome to Cangku Shisi, Warehouse 14. My warehouse. Thank you for providing the means to come to this reality. You've given me something in this world I could never have had in mine. Complete control. Kill them slowly. I want them to see it all arrive before they die." He's basically Paracelsus minus the scientific experimentation. Same overconfidence though. He leaves Claire alone with them. To no one's surprise, Claudia connects with her sister through Garbage's When I Grow Up, the same song they sang at the coffeehouse. As Claire sings too, she lets them down. It's all touching but time to stop Valda. Meanwhile, Artie tries to blow up the compass with Julius Wilbrand's lab coat buttons. He invented TNT. Um dynamite, not the cable network. Steve: "Well Artie, if we destroy the compass, what happens when it's actually time to move the warehouse?" Artie: "Eh, let them use Fed Ex." BWAAAAHHH!!!!! I love that line. Sadly, even dynamite buttons can't stop the compass and there's no Plan D. A frustrated Artie grabs a rope. Artie: "Valda, you SoB. This is my home and I will never, never let you take it away. Do you hear me? Never, Never." Steve: "Is this rope an artifact?" Nope! If Artie can't find something to stop the compass from turning, then he'll do it himself. Steve grabs the other end and they strain to keep the warehouse from disappearing, one artifact at a time.


As they struggle, Claudia suggests transferring Claire's energy into Valda, but Myka reminds her that Valda would be far too powerful. Smart Pete disagrees. He has a plan. They race to Valda and he and Pete fight. Myka picks up the setting maul as Claudia takes out Claire's eyepiece and puts it in backward. That's all it takes to transfer energy? What? I guess so because Valda's eyes glow white. He forces the setting maul from Myka's hand, but Pete has the last laugh. In the brawl, he removed the Versailles fork from Valda's pocket. You know, the one that allowed him to transfer to this timeline. Pete drops it into a goo bag and Valda flashes away in a burst of light. I have no idea why it works. I have less of an idea why this wasn't a better developed 2-part episode. Everything here screams season finale and it would've been a dynamite ending if it were. With his death, the eye piece pops off of Claire and she's magically cured as well. The music box energy died with Valda. How convenient. But it's Myka disassembling the setting maul that sends the artifacts back to Warehouse 13. Myka: "How many times do we have to save the world?" Pete: "We should get a raise." Agreed. As the artifacts reappear the compass stops and Steve and Artie believe they stopped Valda's plan. As they hug and dance in celebration, I laugh. Their joy is infectious. With everything back to normal the Boston trio return home, where Claudia reassures Claire that she's indeed cured. Claudia: "Simple physics really, with a freaky warehouse twist." She also gives Claire her guitar back, while Claire in turn inspires Claudia by saying destiny can be overcome. It's a tender sister moment, ruined by Pete's feelings for Myka again. Basically Steve the human lie detector confirms his love. Blech! Bah! Whatever! Moving on. Myka and Artie return the compass, but it starts glowing again. Uh oh! Even Mrs. Frederic doesn't know if she can stop what Valda set into place. That can't be good.

This was one fun ride of an episode, my favorite of season 5. It had action galore and a fun nod to artifacts past. It took on the season's Big Bad and tied up all major loose ends. Mostly though, I really enjoyed learning more about the warehouse itself. I always wondered how they got everything from one place to another without losing artifacts in the move. That question was abundantly answered. I also liked the tidbit about Mrs. Frederic's sister. It feels like the two biggest mysteries of Warehouse 13, Mrs. Frederic and the warehouse itself, were given a bit of their due. They still remain mysterious but that's what future TV movies (hopefully) and good fan fiction are for. Take out the last 5 minutes and Pete's relationship issues and this would have been everything I could have wanted from the finale. Sadly, they placed it one episode too soon. I've seen the actual finale and for me, the series ends with this one. So from that perspective, I say adieu Warehouse 13. You were great entertainment while you lasted. I'm only sorry you were a bit tarnished this season by adding unnecessary plot twists and cramming far too much in for such a short season. I wish the show runner and writers had let you breathe a bit more in these last 6 episodes instead of applying the "everything and the kitchen sink" approach. It made you a bit less than you were before. Still, I will think of you fondly when I do my seasons 1-4 rewatch.

Grade: B+

Best Scene - Green Dragon tavern / defeating Valda even if it was too easy

Best Return - Mark Sheppard

Best Reason to Watch - lots of information on how the warehouse works

Best Reason to Fast Forward - shipping nonsense

Least Surprising - Claudia connects with Claire through their Garbage song

Smartest - Pete's great plan

Best Physical Reaction - Pete to spiders / Artie once he gets thawed

Best Businessman - Valda, who wants to militarize the artifacts

Biggest Aww Moment - Claire cries as she is forced to almost crush Claudia

The "Oh Yeah Right" Award - Any show where a secret passageway from the Revolution or even the Civil War still works gets an automatic eye roll from me

Biggest Surprise - Claire can become the caretaker if Claudia dies just like Mrs. Frederic took over for her sister. Yeah, she had a sister. Who knew?

The "Oh Uh" Award - Artie: "No, there's no plan D."

Best Hug - Artie and Steve congratulating themselves on saving the warehouse when it was really Pete, Myka, and Claire.



Screencaps by Sled Uju, The Backlot, The Trades, and me.

Welcome to Last Week in TV and the unofficial end of the 2013-2014 TV season. I hope you have found new shows to enjoy and stayed excited about some older ones. TV has been quite a switch for me this year. Generally I am a sci fi/drama aficionado, but this year was all about the comedies for me. Sure Sleepy Hollow rocked my world and left my jaw hanging open. Teen Wolf came into its own this year too. But by far, the best new shows for me were ½ hour sitcoms. The Goldbergs, Enlisted, and Surviving Jack were 3 of the best shows I saw this season. Sadly only 2 of my 4 favorite newbies are returning but that's par for the course these days. As we switch into summer viewing, Last Week in TV will change slightly. First off, I will be taking a short 2-3 week break after next week's column. When I get back I will be reviewing my summer shows of course - woo hoo for Teen Wolf coming back so soon! I will also be marathoning various shows to review them too. So if you have any great marathon shows, please nominate them in the short form below. I hope to get through ALL nominations this summer so that I can start fresh when fall TV inevitably gets here. Until next week, happy TV viewing!





Overall Awards:



Best Action - SHIELD - May vs. Ward

It was the fight I had been waiting for since the pilot of SHIELD: Agent May's kick butt ninja skills versus Ward's well-trained soldier combat prowess. Originally I just wanted to see them train in an all-out bragging rights fight. Ever since Ward was revealed as Hydra, I dreamed of something even bigger. I was not disappointed. This is my vote for best action scene of the season. Complete with enough inherent baggage between them to make the fight personal, Ward and May pummeled each other through drywall and even took up power tools to make their case. I love how in the beginning they were evenly matched. It would not have made sense for the fight to be one-sided to me. They each got in a few good licks and each were winning at one time. Then Ward made the fatal mistake. He opened his mouth, and much in the same way a villain monologue always trips them up, he antagonized May further. From that point on, it was over even if he gave as good as he got for several minutes more. In the end a well placed nail gun to the foot crippled Ward and May had the last word as always. See what getting cocky does to you, Ward. Just saying. By the close of the fight, my heart was pumping and I was tempted to shout, "Again!" at my TV. That was one epic battle and most definitely worth the wait. Please say there will be a part 2. Only this time, grab some swords.



Best Episode - Grimm - 3.22 - Blond Ambition (season finale)

With the exception of continually bringing up the love spell from last season, I thoroughly enjoyed the season finale of Grimm…mostly because it ensures that Teen Grimm will still be around for at least the beginning of season 4. I like how she is now needed in Portland, while Nick can choose whether to try to get his Grimm powers back again or not. I hope it's a decision that takes a little time because the longer it takes for him to be re-Grimmed, the longer Teen Grimm will remain. I only hope that she doesn't die to force Nick to become a Grimm again. Another big highlight of this episode was Wu finally getting confirmation that he wasn't crazy. I hope he smacks all of the Grimm Gang for making him believe he was. Then of course there were the two main events. Monroe and Rosalee's wedding was beautiful (kudos on the better dress) right up until Teen Grimm shows up and reveals that Nick is un-Grimmed. I like both of these events. It should be interesting to play in the aftermath of the wedding though. Finally, we had Renard shot and bleeding out, the one cliffhanger I don't care for. Hopefully he will live and also get an actual plot line next season. At least get him out of the hospital, precinct and his apartment on a more regular basis please.



TV Trend of the Week - Character Math - The 100 (Grounder Queen), Grimm (Teen Grimm), Playing House (Gwen), SHIELD (Nick Fury, Ward, and Fitz), TURN (Abigail and Jordan), The Blacklist (Tom and Malik), Elementary (Mycroft)

Additions: Finale week always comes with big twists and cliffhangers, so it comes as little surprise that characters get added and subtracted to create drama. Sometimes these are a hit; sometimes I wonder where the show runner's head was. The biggest highlight in character math this week was by far the Grounder Queen in The 100. She didn't get much screen time but she packed a punch. I love how she opened Clarke's eyes to how the grounders see things. The 100 are enemy invaders who have killed their own and Jasper shooting first confirmed their suspicions. Clarke came in thinking she had the moral high ground but promptly had the wind removed from her blustering sails. I certainly hope that Grounder Queen comes looking for and gets payback. Another show revitalized by the addition of a young female who can kick butt was Grimm. To be honest, my patience with and attention to Grimm had been ebbing, but now I cannot wait to see how Teen Grimm adjusts to life in Portland. One thing is for sure. She's already a better Grimm than Nick is and this allows Nick to pursue a mentoring role instead. Similarly, adding Abigail and Jordan to TURN allows us to see another dimension to the war. A slave's perspective is often missing in American Revolution tales, so it is refreshing to see how they have been integrated into the bigger plot as well. On the comedy side, I love that Jane Kaczmarek has joined Playing House as Emma's mother. Their relationship cracks me up and Kaczmarek is in her element as a repressed mother, who is trying to spread her wings and unsure of where her daughter fits into her new life. Final kudos goes to Nick Fury on SHIELD as the best cameo of the year. He's so super cool nothing fazes him.

Subtractions: Sadly, we also say goodbye to many characters too, some of whose fates are currently up in the air. For instance, how much will Ward from SHIELD be featured next year? Is he a subtle subtraction we don't know to mourn yet? Same with Fitz, whose condition will likely be magically healed like Skye, but who knows if budget cuts are in order. Then we had Mycroft of Elementary, who may not have died for real but for all intents and purposes is unlikely to appear anytime soon. When a mob thinks you're dead, it's best not to show up on the radar. This is a real shame because the last few episodes that focused on Mycroft have been some of the best of the series. I hope they can keep up the momentum without the twists that revolved around him. Still the biggest loss of the TV season comes from The Blacklist. Taking Malik, one of the handful of kick butt women on TV, was a huge blow. Her character was intriguing and there was so much more to explore about her. I would have rather had Ressler die and kill off the annoying shipping they are likely to start there. Then, on top of taking out the most fearless female, they took out the most fascinating character, Tom. I really feel that by killing him so early, the show runners have shot themselves in the foot. Tom played nicely off of both lead characters and added instant drama to a scene. Without him, my interest in The Blacklist is already waning.



Nominated Show:Mad Men - 7.02 - A Day's Work

Note - There is no new show this week because the only ones I saw listed were Penny Dreadful, which I had to turn off in the first 2 minutes when the spider crawled up the praying woman's arm, and Rosemary's Baby, which was a mini-series.

I have never seen a second of Mad Men, so I hesitate jumping in to an episode that starts with a previously. Usually that means I have to have more background knowledge than I am coming with. Still, this is the episode that was nominated so I assume this one stands out…just not to someone who doesn't know the characters. I have no idea if I should be rooting for Joan or Don or Sally. I don't have a stake in the coming war between Roger and Jim. Mostly though, I found it hard to like the characters with the exception of Joan, Shirley, and the realtor. That's generally a deal breaker for me. Based on this episode, I wouldn't watch Mad Men again but I feel like my lack of background knowledge has done a great disservice, so I will try to watch the pilot over the summer and see if I get sucked in more.

Grade: C-
Ranking: 1

Best Scene - Joan gets tired of people playing secretary roulette and has had it, only to get a promotion.

Best Quote - Hobart: "Well what are you trying to do, Don? Are you taking lunches now?" Don: "No, I'm just looking for love." Hobart: "Well on behalf of myself and all the millionaires at McCann-Erikson, we'd love a chance to tell you how handsome you are."

Best Reason to Watch - office politics, maybe. I assume it's a big deal that Joan got promoted, but I'm not sure.

Biggst Aww Moment - Sally tells her father she loves him and he's flabbergasted

Best Nostalgia - The 60's were before my time, but seeing classic TV outside of Nick at Night was fun.

Worst Nostalgia - The micro mini skirts

The "This is What You Call Bonding?" Award - Don teaches his daughter to dine and dash. They seem to have a completely dysfunctional relationship.

Most Cavalier - Sally Draper and friends about someone who died

Biggest Douches - Lou and Peggy

Weirdest Delivery - Sally, who pauses a lot when she speaks



Weekly Shows:


TURN - 1.06 - Mr. Culpepper

TURN continues to fascinate me with its old world spying and political machinations. Adding Washington and Sackett is a bonus. Mostly though this was Ben's episode and it worked well because of it…and because the love triangle made nary a peep. I like how Ben was not afraid to give his honest opinion even to as high up as Washington and I look forward to seeing him work with Sackett in the future. I am sure they are going to butt heads a lot but adding more spies to the roster excites me, with all its complications. I like the idea of broadening the scope a bit. To that end, I was disappointed that Terrence died so quickly, but it does bear out Ben's theory that using a spy's natural background works better than complicated aliases. I am fascinated as well by where this episode took Abigail and Jordan. I never expected Jordan to fall into Rogers' militia and I keep thinking Andre is going to be evil to Abigail, but so far he has been generous. It actually unnerves me. Simcoe is easy to read, as is Hewlett. Andre is far more difficult and it makes each reaction on screen a bit of a surprise.

Grade: B+

Best Scene - Ben tells Washington that without trust no network of spies can be built and gets promoted for his honesty and out-of-the-box thinking

Best Character Interaction - Ben and Washington

The "Mmm Hmm" Award - Generally eye candy does little for me, but my heart skipped a beat at the sight of the naked torso of Aldis Hodge before Jordan pummeled a loud mouthed jerk in the ring. Awesome fighting as well.

Worst Spy Move Ever - Abraham tells the man holding him hostage that he is a spy because that guy tells him he is a continental soldier. Really? He's a known thief and you are trusting his word. Michael Westen would be rolling his eyes at you Abraham. Loose lips and all.

The "You Should Have Killed Him While You Had the Chance" Award - Simcoe is the bane of most of the characters, so not killing him was a huge mistake

Most Nerve-Wracking - Abraham is to receive judgment for his insubordination right after watching Washington hang a man for theft. That cannot be comforting.

Creepiest Moment - Andre teaches Abigail how to set a place setting. I kept thinking he was going to do something evil to her when he smiled so creepily. You could tell she thought so too.

The "Blink and You Missed Him" Award - Lieutenant Terrence, who was intriguing in as much as he was a new spy added in the ring. Sadly, his intrigue ended with a knife to the neck and we're still only one half-spy in the mix.

The "Huh?" Award - Sackett writing out spy scenarios. I have no idea what the point of that was. I mean no one actually believed that Abraham was going to die in the 6th episode, right? That was just odd.

Best History Add-in: Ben was best friends at Yale with Nathan Hale, Washington's most well-known spy / Abraham Woodhull becomes Mr. Culpepper



24: Live Another Day - 9.03 - (1-2 pm)

I still have no idea what's going on, but the action is still crisp and the plot races forward. That's enough for now. I'm not sure how the POTUS expects to win hearts over on the very day 4 people are murdered. There is something to be said for timing. I'm also still pretty sure that dear old son-in-law is planning his own coup, if not an official one. As for Chloe, I didn't know she had a son, much less a murdered one, so I feel for her. At the same time, I wanted to smack Jack for making her pain all about his mission. Take it down a notch and give her a minute. You have 1,440 of them. However the scene stealer tonight was Mama Terrorist. She looks all motherly but she is dead inside except when it comes to the mission. I'm almost hesitant to see what she does next.

Grade: B

Best Quote - Adrian: "Has anybody ever mentioned your rather rude habit of asking for favors accompanied by threat of a gun?"

Biggest Wuss - For all his blustering, the big bad drug broker tells them what he knows when they pull into a bad neighborhood.

Scariest Moment - Momma Terrorist makes veiled threats to her son-in-law, who can't get over the fact that she sent his wife to sleep with the programmer in order to steal the device. She doesn't do anything but you know she's one small spark away from gutting him like a fish if he doesn't cooperate.

Biggest Aww Moment - Chloe tells Jack that her ex-husband and son are dead. An attack was sent to kill her but she had to work late so it killed them instead.

The "I Think that Might be Treason" award - I don't know my treasonable offenses very well, but I think forging the President of the United States' signature without telling him might be one of them.

The "Go with Your Instincts" Award - Navid, you should trust yourself. You are likely to die anyway, so go out with a good conscience.

Instant Flash Mob - Nothing like shooting some people to spur a mob and sneak into the embassy.

Biggest Double Cross - Adrian sinks Jack and I have a hard time blaming him considering all Jack has done. Still paying someone back for being rude should not equal allowing terrorists to murder hundreds.

Most Controlling - Yes, Audrey has a point about Mark being ultra controlling but he has nothing on Momma Terrorist, who watches her daughter and her husband in bed. Blech!



Star-Crossed - 1.13 - Passion Lends Them Powers (series finale)

And thus ends Star-Crossed, a fabulous socipolitical thriller bogged down by hopeless love triangles and romantic nonsense. I blame the CW marketing department mostly but the show runner shares some responsibility for trying to cater to 2 very different types of fans and ultimately pleasing none. If they had dropped the star-crossed lovers bit from the beginning, I believe this show might have made it to season 2. It had all the components needed to succeed (besides a good timeslot) even as a full season bid. Now it is stuck in the "what could have been" pile of other previously great TV concepts that died in execution. Sigh. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted and maybe someone in the future will stumble over Star-Crossed's bones, resurrect it, fix the problems, and give it the justice it deserved. While I'm concocting a plausible and fulfilling ending in my head, I'll dream of a Star-Crossed that didn't rely so heavily on the star-crossed.

Grade: B

Best Scene - They all work together to stop the bomb from going off

Best Quote - Taylor: "What's going to happen…I start showing. Not to mention, I suddenly have Wonder Woman strength."

Best Reason to Watch - You can't come this far and not know if the bomb is going to go off or not.

Best Reason to Fast Forward - one last time say it with me ----Roman and Emery time. This time I actually DID fast forward. The rest of the love stuff just interrupted the "stop the bomb" plan.

Worst Part of a Cancelled Sci-Fi Show - Having to make up the ending on your own. What am I supposed to do with that ending?

The "Awww, They're Working Together" Award - Teri and Emery save Roman together with Cyper

The "Back Off" Award - Gloria, you of all people ought to know how hard having a human-Atrian hybrid baby is.

Best Plan - Lukas sets Mardi Gras on fire

The "Hey, There's an App for That" Award - Lukas downloads a Geiger counter app just in case one ever needs to know how radioactive something is. Isn't the future grand?

The "Say What?" Award - Atrians have an herb that makes you see your dead? That's just cruel.

Biggest Aww Moment - Roman meets his half brother

The "Way to Go" Award - Instead of playing the victim, Taylor gets herself free. Love that Atrian pregnancy strength hormone.

Biggest Surprise - Gloria calls in the Special Forces to round up Vega and the Trags after Teri tips her off.

Least Surprising - Roman uses the Trag mask and Emery to get up to Zoe



Blacklist - 1.22 - Berlin: Conclusion (season finale)

I've enjoyed The Blacklist this season, just not as a weekly show. I feel this is best served in big portions with ample time to digest afterwards. Let's just call it the Thanksgiving turkey of TV. Watching week by week rarely leaves me satisfied and I'm often frustrated by the lack of answers. In this, the season finale was the same. No answers, although we do see who Berlin is. Worst, they killed the 2 most interesting characters outside of Red. Killing off secondary characters to created instant tension rarely works in the long-term and I'm afraid that killing Tom Keen was a huge mistake. Turning him into the enemy was brilliant and they should have let that brew a bit longer. Slightly less annoying was killing off Malik. There aren't enough kick butt females on TV as it were and Elizabeth is no substitute for her.

Grade: B

Most Powerful Scene - Red talks about killing Sam

Best Quote - Red: "Tell me your story. I'm not leaving here without a story."

Best Reason to Watch - The mystery of Berlin gets bigger and Elizabeth finally stops pretending that she's going anywhere without Red

Most Impressive Skills - If this master criminal thing doesn't work out, Red can hide out in the circus as a knife thrower.

The "Well Hello" Award - Hi, Matt Lauer. Fancy meeting you here. Nice of you to join, The Blacklist.

Best Moment - Cooper completely ignores his stuffed shirt new boss to concentrate on the case

Best Twist - Stuffed Shirt helps Red escape

The "Say What?" Award - Malik is NOT an acceptable sacrifice. She's one of the few characters that I really like.

The "He's NOT Fooling Around" Award - Red just shoots everyone on his way to get to Berlin

Biggest Mistake - Killing off Tom. There goes one of my few reasons to watch this live next season. This one's headed for the marathon on hiatus pile.



Warehouse 13 - 5.05 - Cangku Shisi

This was one fun ride of an episode, my favorite of season 5. It had action galore and a fun nod to artifacts past. It took on the season's Big Bad and tied up all major loose ends. Mostly though, I really enjoyed learning more about the warehouse itself in this episode. I always wondered how they got everything from one place to another without losing any artifacts in the move. That question was abundantly answered. I also like the tidbit about Mrs. Frederic's sister. It feels like the two biggest mysteries of Warehouse 13, Mrs. Frederic and the warehouse itself, were given their due a bit here. The still remain mysterious but that's what future TV movies (hopefully) and good fan fiction are for. Take out the last 5 minutes and Pete's relationship nonsense and this would have been everything I could have wanted from the finale. Sadly, they placed it one episode too soon. I've seen the actual finale and for me, the series ends with this one. And so from that perspective, I say adieu Warehouse 13. You were great entertainment while you lasted. I'm only sorry that you were a bit tarnished this season by adding unnecessary plot twists and cramming far too much in for such a short season. I wish the show runner and writers had let you breathe a bit more in these last 6 episodes instead of applying the "everything and the kitchen sink" approach. It made you a bit less than you were before. Still, I will think of you fondly when I do my seasons 1-4 rewatch.

Grade: B+

Best Scene - Green Dragon tavern / defeating Valda even if it was too easy

Best Return - Mark Sheppard

Best Reason to Watch - lots of information on how the warehouse works, and a new part of the warehouse

Best Reason to Fast Forward - shipping nonsense

Least Surprising - Claudia connects with Claire through their Garbage song

Smartest - Pete and his great plan

Best Physical Reaction - Pete to spiders / Artie once he gets thawed

Biggest Businessman - Valda, who wants to militarize the artifacts

Biggest Aww Moment - Claire cries as she is forced to almost crush Claudia

The "Oh Yeah Right" Award - Any show where a secret passageway from the Revolution or even the Civil War still works gets an automatic eye roll

Biggest Surprise - Claire can become the caretaker if Claudia dies just like Mrs. Frederic took over for her sister. Yeah, she had a sister. Who knew?

The "Oh Uh" Award - Artie: "No, there's no plan D."

Best Hug - Artie and Steve congratulating themselves on saving the warehouse when it was really Pete, Myka, and Claire.



Playing House - 1.03 / 1.04 - Unfinished Business / Totes Kewl

Playing House is growing on me because of its heart. I don't laugh as much as I did in the midseason comedies, but I certainly awww in this show. What works is the relationship between Emma and Maggie. I completely buy them as best friends and childhood pals. Theirs is an easy bond that draws the viewer in, something not easy to fake. I look forward to seeing where this show is going. If this is USA Network's comedy plan, I wholeheartedly embrace it. Goodness knows they are screwing up the dramas.

Grade: B / B+

Best Scene - Mark and Maggie talk while on a stakeout

Biggest Aww Scene - Maggie and Bruce at the park / Maggie and Emma make up

Best Quote - Emma: "I don't want to live in a well. I don't want to live in a well."

Best Reason to Watch - the friendship of Maggie and Emma. They have a lot of chemistry on screen.

Best Addition - Jane Kaczmarek, so nice to see her back on my TV

Best Comeback - Gary puts Emma in her place when she questions his credentials

Biggest Meta - Zach actually says, "Characters welcome," in his poetry reading, which is the tagline for the USA Network

The "Say What?" Award - I have no idea why Maggie is grilling Candy like she's in a cop show. It wasn't funny and it made zero sense. In fact, I was wondering if she had a mental condition.

Foul on that Play - Sorry Maggie, but I'm siding with Emma here. Just because you are best friends doesn't mean you get to drag her into something she really, really does not want to do. / Maggie, you can't hold Emma responsible if you don't tell her the truth about how you feel

Funniest - Emma's mom is lusting over the same cop that Maggie and Emma were to their chagrin

Best Prank - Bruce, who comes up behind them in a hockey mask while they are watching Silence of the Lambs

The "Grow Up" Award - Emma first tries to hide from her mom and then tries to pick a fight with her. Make up your mind.

Most oblivious - Emma really doesn’t read social cues well, even with her best friend, whom she should be able to read in most situations

Most Uncomfortable - the sexual innuendo when a cop installs a baby seat

Most Awkward - Gwen gives Emma syrup from her purse and invites her to go get more

The "Exactly How Old Are You?" Award - No one over the age of 14 should ever say, "totes kewl." Ever! That goes double for "feels" as a noun.



SHIELD - 1.22 - Beginning of the End (season finale)

The Agents of SHIELD season finale could best be described as an honest to goodness Disney fairy tale. The good guys won. The bad guys lost. Nick Fury was their own personal fairy godmother. It's not a stretch to say that if this were it, they'd live happily ever after. Well except Fitz and Ward. Thing is that most of it felt like a series finale instead of a season one. It's almost like the writers were the only people on earth unsure of whether SHIELD would get a season 2. Therefore they wrapped most of the show up neatly before closing credits. There's no real cliffhanger I expect from sci fi shows. Sure Skye's Pops has an advanced case of hematidrosis and Coulson inherited Garrett's strange tic for etching, but neither seem sci-fi finale big. Yeah Fitz's condition is up in the air, but no one is weeping by his bedside begging him to hold on just a bit longer for a miracle cure. It all ended a bit flat. Perhaps rebuilding SHIELD is the big kicker, but if it ended here I would have been satisfied.

Grade: B+ (with bonus points for the epic action)

Best Scene / Best Action - May vs. Ward fight

Best Quote - Coulson: "So what do you say? You ready to change the world?" May: "No, I'm ready to kick some a**." Coulson: "That works too."

Best Reason to Watch - the good guys won and Coulson got promoted

Best Twist - I was in the middle of tweeting about how no one is really dead in a sci fi show unless they get beheaded so of course Garrett would come back. Then he did in the finale and I sighed, right until Coulson blew him into tiny bits. Woo hoo! Didn't see that coming and it takes a lot to shock me that much. Kudos all around!

Best Return - Fury, who found them through the SHIELD signal Fitz rigged up

Biggest Surprise Return - Keonig, well his twin brother Billy. He's installed in the new super secret hideout base and still as obsessed with lanyards as the original. I'm beginning to think there's a Koenig at every secret base SHIELD owns.

Most Nuts - Garrett, who is a cross between high and crazy, with huge, creepy eyes

The "If You weren't a Greedy, Evil Douche, I'd Actually Feel Sorry for You" Award - Oh Quinn, it's hard to be a salesman when your boss keeps killing your clients. Perhaps you should find another line of work.

Worst Cliffhanger - everything Skye

Best Surprise - Mike blasts Garrett after Skye proves she has his son

Least Surprising - Garrett was not dead after Mike pulverized him, even if they thought he was

The "Oh Yeah, There's Nothing Wrong with You at All" award - Garrett actually says, "Now the truth is written on the back of my eyes." Yeah, there's the guy you want to lead you into battle.

Biggest Awww Moment - Fitz gives Simmons the only oxygen tank

Best Sign that Things Really have Changed - Coulson includes May in his meeting with Fury, which signals to me that their relationship is completely restored again

Biggest Mystery - While I'd love to say it was the etchings Garrett and Coulson made, in all honesty, it's what Ward's role will be in season 2. I hope he's still in it. There's a lot still left to mine in his character.



The Goldbergs - 1.23 - Livin' on a Prayer (season finale)

No show does the end of episode song montage better than The Goldbergs. It's one of my favorite parts because generally that's right where the heart comes. Just a simple thing like watching the Goldbergs have fun playing basketball together warms my spirits. Add in the best 80's song ever, Livin' on a Prayer by Bon Jovi, and it's all good. I even like the voice overs in this show, which hasn't happened since Burn Notice. As for this episode, I adored it. Mostly because it starred my two favorite Goldbergs, Murray and Barry. I love how their high school lives were so different but they connect here. I like that Barry is allowed a win even more. It happens so rarely. All in all, I laughed throughout the show but I also felt for the characters more than ever. So much so that I cheered along when Barry proclaimed it his best night ever. Thanks cast and crew for creating a comedy in which I genuinely care about the characters. That almost never happens. Bring on season 2!

Grade: A-

Best Scene - Barry pleads his case to Murray, who gives him 10 minutes before he breaks up the party

Best Quote - Adam: "Move over Aunt Rose's 50th. This is the hottest party this dining room's ever seen."

Best Reason to Watch - learning more about Murray's background / Barry finally feeling like a winner

Best Aww Scene - Lainey pep talks Barry

The "Yeah, You Know You Sang Along Too" Award - Bon Jovi was basically the anthem of my high school years. It is an 80's imperative that if it comes on, you turn it up and sing along. I refuse to be embarrassed for it. You know you were singing along too.

Most Persistent - Barry, who can do something badly 100 times and still get excited about the 1 time he accidentally gets it right

Cutest High School Chant - "Let's go beavers, chop, chop, chop" complete with hand gestures like people talking.

Biggest Shock - Lainey kisses Barry to make Lexy jealous

The "Oh Do I Feel for You" Award - Murray, when he air balls a free throw using the granny shot. That's just embarrassing.

Trend Starter - Beverly, whose wardrobe made the first ever Ugly Sweater party. Christmas office parties will forever be in your debt.

Best Continuity - The same frat guy who Beverly cleaned for to get back Murray's chair shows up at the party and negotiate his return of her sweater.

Best 80's Reference (non-music) - Barry does the Karate Kid crane kick as one of his dance moves



Trophy Wife - 1.22 - Mother's Day (series finale)

And thus ends Trophy Wife, a TV show that was saddled with an unfortunate name and a tendency to go overboard on the wacky, but still far better than the majority of new shows this season. I will be sorry to see this clan go. Diane was always my personal favorite but anytime the 3 wives were together, it was bound to be a great scene.

Grade: B

Best Scene - The entire family hanging out in the hotel room together

Best Quote - Jackie: "Get off of my meal ticket."

Best Reason to Watch - This family may not be your typical family, but they have twice as much heart even in their wackiness

Biggest Manipulator - Bert makes Sad Steve tell him where Jackie is at

Biggest Laugh - Meg pretends to be Pete's wife as he wakes up

The "Beware Ex-Wives Bearing Compliments" Award - Kate is super excited about Diane and Jackie leaving the kids with her on Mother's Day. I'm suspicious of how Jackie wants to jet away before Kate can even fawn over them for it.

Snarkiest - Pete's doctor and his cartoon broccoli pamphlet

The "Yeah Right" Award - Jackie, even if you got Diane as smashed as the Christmas fiasco, there's no way she's having a threesome with you. No way.

The "I Can't Believe You Just Did That" Award - Diane cuts the phone cord at the receptionist desk at the hospital. Security! Actually I can't believe a receptionist's desk would still have a corded phone so maybe it's a good thing.



The 100 - 1.09 - Unity Day

I find it fascinating that when this show started I wanted to fast forward through the Ark scenes and rush back to those on Earth. Now it's the direct opposite. For the last few episodes, the Ark has gotten really interesting while the earth scenes were mostly mired down in the typical CW fare. However I have great hope that the show's newest addition, Grounder Queen, can shake that up a bit. Just like the insert of Teen Grimm, she could be the warrior leader we need now that Bellamy and Clarke have done a mind meld outside common sense. I am certainly more interested in the grounders than anything else right now. Well that and of course the Ark. I'm not sure how dire the circumstances are and if there is another ship. Surely there is because that didn't look like it would hold 700+ people and all their supplies to me. Still, if there is another ship it makes Diana's actions even more rash and make less sense. Here's hoping she tells us when she makes it to the ground and we find out it was a piece of the Ark that hit the earth instead. I mean surely they wouldn't introduce a Big Bad and kill her off within 3 episodes, right? Oh well, either way it is win-win. Either she's dead and I don't have to be disappointed by her idiocy or she's alive and she gives Clarke and Bellamy a reason to be on opposite sides again, which was far more captivating.

Grade: B

Best Scene - Grounder Queen and Clarke meet

Best Quote - Finn: "You really want a war because at this rate, that's what's coming. Look I know it's a long shot, but this is our world now. I think we can do better than the first time around. I trust him."

Best Reason to Watch - the Ark issues and the Grounder Queen

Stupidest Move Yet - Bellamy brings an armed Jasper to a meeting with the grounders. In what universe would that at all be a wise move.

Most Improved / Biggest Idealist - Finn, who when given something to do outside the scope of a love triangle, becomes an intriguing character again. I hope that Finn continues to play a bigger role, especially since he is now the voice of reason to a leadership that has lost all common sense.

Biggest Disappointment - Diana, who I thought was going to be a great, manipulative foe. Instead she jumps the gun too soon so that it makes little to no sense.

Pretty Nifty Trick - the title card explodes a little too after the Ark does

The "Did You Learn Nothing" Award - After everyone was hopped up on toxic berries in the last episode, I'm not sure having the whole camp get drunk on moonshine is a great plan.

The "Isn't It Romantic" Award - Lincoln, the grounder, leaves a path of flowers for Octavia to follow and she comes at him with a knife to practice her ambush tactics

Best New Addition - Grounder Queen. I hope she comes back and I hope she kicks major butt.



Elementary - 2.24 - The Grand Experiment (season finale)

For the last several weeks, Elementary has reasserted itself as Must Watch TV for me. A large part of that has been the reveal that Mycroft was working for MI-6 and the character reactions to that. So, it is with mixed emotions that I approach this finale. I loved that Sherlock finally knew the truth about why his brother joined MI-6 again. It was a crucial character development and led to one of the most beautiful proclamations Sherlock has ever given. I truly believe that he plans to make things up to Mycroft even now. Until I am proven wrong, I refuse to believe that Sherlock taking the heroin out and going to MI-6 is the act of a desperate man and is instead the act of a most clever man about to make taking down Milieu his mission so that his brother can return to his life. I may be completely wrong but I hope not. I also love Sherlock's speech to Watson about how he can now change. I hope so because character growth in Sherlock is one of the reasons while I am still watching Elementary. It should be interesting to see how they function in different spaces and even more so, how much he plans to tell her about MI-6. Partners keeping secrets never end well. Sadly though, it feels like we are saying adieu to Mycroft far too soon. I had hoped that he would continue on with MI-6 and that their paths would cross on cases on occasion. Oh well, there's still Moriarty.

Grade: A-

Best Scene By Far - Sherlock tells Mycroft her knows about why he's in MI-6

Best Quote - Sherlock: "Our collaboration works, Watson. Even when things are less than ideal between us, it works. When I look back on the last 18 months, I often categorize it as a kind of grand experiment. The results of which have demonstrated to me, much to my surprise, that I am capable of change. So I will…change, for you, for the sake of our partnership, for the sake of our…our work. Stay."

Best Reason to Watch - Mycroft and everyone's reaction to his stunning revelations

Least Expected - Mycroft's car blows up

Biggest Awww Moment - Mycroft has to disappear, probably forever. I am saddened. He has more patience than I could ever have. Case in point, he hugs Sherlock and says he love him while Sherlock is insulting him. I would have punched him.

The "It's About Time Someone Shut You Up" Award - Watson tells Sherlock the only reason Mycroft is involved with MI-6 is because of him

Most Petulant - Sherlock, who refuses Joan's help in figuring out what the tattoos mean

Stoniest Glare - Captain Gregson. Seriously the man could out freeze ice in his disapproval.

Biggest Ouch - Mycroft repeats what Sherlock said to their father about him at 15. It cut him so deeply that it still effects him today.

The "It Shouldn't Surprise Me But…" Award - Sherlock breaks into a car to do surveillance. Isn't that a bit risky if the owner comes back out?

Worst Revelations - Sherlock picks up the pack of heroin and is employed by MI-6

The "Duh, It's Not that Hard" Award - I have no idea why it took so long to name Sharington as the mole. It had to be him way sooner than they stopped hemming and hawing.

Best Plan - Watson dials in Everyone before starting her conversation with Sharington. They have been quite useful this season, now protecting Watson

Best Reaction - Sherlock's shocked face when Watson calls him out on his sulking

Worst Way to Die - stoned to death

Worst Decorating - Sherlock, you are going to have one ticked realtor on your hands. It's going to be hard enough finding a buyer in a murder victim's place, much less one that likes blood spatter décor.

Worst Scavenger Hunt / Best Morning - Sherlock leaves tattoo clues in the hall for Joan to follow down to him in the living room. At least he didn't wake her up by standing over her like usual. That's a definite improvement.

The "What the Heck?" Award - While I adore Joan for getting Everyone in on her plan against Sharington, I am shocked that a group of cyber hackers, who are likely in hiding from a lot of governments, would show their faces like that. I expected them to at least be wearing disguises or something.

The "Well Played" Award - Sharington threatens to burn Mycroft with Milieu unless he allows Sharington to murder him as a traitor

Best Twist - Mycroft goes to the NSA to take care of his Sharington problem with their own Milieu contacts and exchanges information for them faking his death



TBBT - 7.23 / 7.24 - The Gorilla Dissolution / The Status Quo Combustion (season finale)

I have to admit that I was pleasantly surprised by TBBT's finale. I love the idea of Sheldon going off on his own and maybe growing up a bit. Over the years, TBBT has grown a little stale, mostly because the characters are rarely allowed to develop and change except in very slow increments. Sheldon hasn't changed much at all. By having him face life on his own, they have a golden opportunity to stretch the character and refresh the show. I only hope that we don't miss out on all of his adventures. I would love to see what he experienced. I am also good with Stewart getting more tied into the characters' lives and the addition of Emily.

Grade: B+

Best Scene - Leonard proposes to Penny / Penny convinces Leonard to let Sheldon leave on his own

Best Quote - Bernadette: "You were right." Howard: "Welcome to Team Putz." / Bernadette: "Sweetie, I love you and as your wife, your mother is every bit my problem as she is yours, so…I want a divorce."

Best Reason to Watch - Raj and Emily are fast becoming my favorites / Stewart happy as a nurse / Sheldon travels alone

Biggest Aww - Both Leonard and Wil defend Penny from the douchey director

Biggest Surprise - Sheldon actually gives Raj good advice, despite himself / Stewart becomes Howard's mom's nurse

The "Take a Hint" Award - How is it that no one on TBBT can take a hint? Amy, if a couple starts talking about alone time, it is past time to go.

Most Bizarre Proposal Ever - Penny and Leonard kind of fall into an engagement with each other, and even they think it's anticlimactic. Luckily Leonard has had a ring ready for a couple of years and they do it right a couple of minutes later.

The "Poor Baby" Award - Leonard, whose mother is just as impossible as his roommate / Stewart, whose comic book shop burns down

Biggest Anticipation - Sheldon traveling on his own is bound to provide some desperately needed character growth. I only hope we get to see part of it and it doesn't just time jump past his adventures.



Grimm - 3.22 - Blond Ambition (season finale)

Grade: A-

Best Scene - Nick realizes he's not a Grimm

Best Quote - Teen Grimm: "Better being a Grimm than being crazy…I think." / Monroe: "You're not a Grimm anymore."

Best Reason to Fast Forward - any hint of the love spell problem

Most Improved - Monroe's dad, who comes to the rescue twice

Most Fun - DeEtta, the boozy sister

Best Wesen - the Abath, which is apparently a unicorn Wesen. Can't wait to learn more about that one.

Stupidest - Impossible to pick because no one but Adalind was exactly using their brains in Portland. How is it possible that Adalind could have tricked them so thoroughly? Does no one else have sunglasses in the entire wedding party?

Best Rescue - Drunk Sister, who ruined the hideous wedding dress to allow Rosalee to actually look beautiful on her wedding day.

The "Get in Line, Sister" Award - Juliette is ticked off at the possibility of Renard and her in a love spell plot again. Join the club. I'm ticked they even mentioned it. Foul on that play. It is best if we all develop amnesia about that one.

Worst Timing - a bloody Teen Grimm interrupts the wedding and everyone panics

Biggest Aww Moment - Monroe's dad buys Rosalee a much better wedding dress, while their moms push the dress shop attendant to open the door to them

Funniest Moment - everyone at the wedding rehearsal makes excuses for why Nick must wear his sunglasses

The "This Can't End Well" award - Nick sleeps with Adalind disguised as Juliette. No long-term consequences from that one I bet and I'm not talking about Nick's inability to see Wesen. Oh the melodrama.

The "Thank Goodness" Award - I was seriously questioning Rosalee's sanity when she chose that hideous dress to be married in. Thanks Monroe for setting the record straight. No one should feel obliged to wear someone else's dress on their special day.

Best Reaction - Monroe and Rosalee to the wedding dress being ruined / Monroe's mom smiling when the dress shop attendant opens the door / Nick realizes he's not a Grimm anymore

Best Toast - Monroe's dad apologizes to Monroe, Rosalee, and Nick, plus gives a tribute to his wife

Most in Need of Basic Emergency Lessons - Teen Grimm, who fans the flames coming out of the stove instead of smothers them

The "Yeah, This is Never Going to Work" award - Unless you have Teen Grimm living in the trailer, this parking it in the woods will backfire on you. It's called a paper trail, Nick. You use them all the time in your job.

Most Wicked - the 3 bladed knife

The "Say What?" Award - Why do spells/clues written in foreign languages always rhyme in English? It's the Goonies Quandary.

Biggest Plot Device - Nick's phone. It keeps ringing with important information, which he never gets because it's never on him.



Screencaps by Screenrant, The Escapist, Grimm NBC, Idiotbox, Tumblr, Zap2It, EW, Digital Spy, Critic Wire, Liberty Voice, YouTube, The Trades, Sky, USA Network, Variety, and TV.com.

A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team this past week. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off below the article.



The 100:

1. Octavia: "Hey, big brother." Bellamy: "I'm scared, O." Octavia: "I won't let anything happen to you. I promise." Bellamy: "That's what I said to you the day you were born." Octavia: "I know. You've told me that like a thousand times." Bellamy: "I'm glad you're here." (Dahne) - I like this quote in particular because Octavia and Bellamy have had real problems with each other lately, but in a crisis, they are family. They are there for each other.

2. Monty: "No, I think you're cool. Only no one had to die for me to see it." (Dahne) - Sometimes best friends are there to tell you the harsh truth, especially when you are being a douche. Monty is a better friend than Jasper deserves.




The Americans:

1. Philip: "If she said one more thing about nonviolent resistance, I was going to punch her in the face.” (Sharon Seymour)

2. Philip: "It would destroy her." Elizabeth: "To be like us?" (Sharon Seymour)




Fargo:

1. Molly to Gus: "Heck of a lot of bullets for a fender bender." (Sharon Seymour)

2. Chaz to Lester: "Chaz: You've been a burden my whole life. I'm done. There's something wrong with you, Lester. There's something missing. You're not right in the world." (Sharon Seymour)




Game of Thrones:


1. Arya: "Nothing isn't better or worse than anything. Nothing is just nothing." (Darth Locke)

2. Petyr Bealish: "Given the opportunity what do we do to those who've hurt the ones we love?" (Darth Locke)

3. Tyrion: “I suppose I’ll have to kill the Mountain myself. Won’t that make for a great song?” (Sandi wich)

4. Oberyn: “It’s rare to meet a Lannister who shares my enthusiasm for dead Lannisters." (Sandi wich)

5. Baelish: "Given the opportunity what do we do to those who've hurt the ones we love?" (Justyna Kubica)

6. Oberyn: “That's no monster. That's just a baby." (Justyna Kubica)




Hannibal:

1. Hannibal: "I gave you a rare gift, and you didn't want it. You would deny me my life." Will: "Not your life." Hannibal: "My freedom then, you would take that from me. Confine me to a prison cell. Did you believe you could change me the way I've changed you?" Will: "I already did." (Sharon Seymour and Darth Locke)

2. Hannibal: "I'm dismantling who I was and moving it brick by brick." (Sharon Seymour)

3. Hannibal: "Fate and circumstance have returned us to this moment, when the teacup shatters. I forgive you, Will. Will you forgive me?" (Darth Locke)




In the Flesh:

1.  Amy: “Morning Walker’s! Jem’s warming up to me, nice welcoming brush past on her way out." (Sandi wich)

2.  Gary: "I'd get a move on if I were you, today’s been one of those days with me and Rotter’s, anything’s liable to happen.” (Sandi wich)







The Mentalist:

Jane: "The idea of letting anyone close to me is terrifying, for obvious reasons. But the truth, Teresa, is that I can't imagine waking up knowing that I won't see you. The truth is, I love you." (Virginia Fontana)




Orphan Black:

Sarah to Helena: "You've got an iron gut, haven't you." (Jimmy Ryan)






Playing House:

1. Maggie: "Okay I know my rights, man. I get my phone call and I get my pizza. I want my pizza and I want my popcorn." Cop: "Pizza is not a right. No part of your taxes goes to pizza money." (Dahne) - This whole scene made me laugh. Out-of-control Maggie is hilarious.

2. Emma: "Listen you do not make it to this very young age we're at without having made some major league mistakes. And guess what? You would not be the interesting, amazing women that you are without having made those mistakes." (Dahne) - This was a great awww moment and a good reminder for all of us.



Revolution:

1. Miles Matheson: "Run you idiots!" (Jimmy Ryan)

2. "Yeah, you're a real Meryl Streep." (Darth Locke)





Supernatural:

Dean: "I'm proud of us." (Justyna Kubica)







Warehouse 13:

1. Pete: "Okay I've got an idea. How about instead of sitting around the mystical table of kumbaya, we do something crazy like, I don't know, stop it from moving, right?" (Dahne) - I might have hated the Warehouse 13 finale, but this was a great line. I was with Pete here.

2. Artie: "I just want you to be happy." (Dahne) - The best part of Warehouse 13 has always been the relationship between Artie and Claudia. His whole speech about sometimes being selfish and being a father figure to her was fantastic. This was the pinnacle of that speech.

Note - I really dislike this series finale. In fact, every time I watch it I like it less. It's not that long-running shows don't get to have a clip show, although a bizarre one. It's that this is the last thing the audience will remember about Warehouse 13. Having been through 60+ shows, this audience deserved better. It actually deserved better all season. For me, Warehouse 13 should have ended with the season 5 premiere tacked on to the end of season 4.

Previously - Everything was wrapped up in a decent series finale….oops, penultimate episode.

In 1889 London, Jack the Ripper is on the loose. He chases a blond prostitute to a dead end…maybe. The blonde is actually HG Wells, disguised by the glasses and thimble of previous episodes. She knocks a lantern out of his hand and mocks him when he starts to flee. It works. He returns and she blasts him. It's only her first month as an agent and it's already her defining moment (more on that to come). In fact she's doing so well, she's making the other agents jealous. HG: "Mr. Kipling has taken to writing rude verses on the walls." Ha! I love that other famous writers are warehouse agents as well. Caturanga congratulates her on her assimilation into the warehouse. HG: "I've finally found a place where my other talents can be used for the good of the empire." Caturanga: "No, not just the empire, the entire world." They chat about warehouse history and HG is shocked to find that the warehouse moves to different countries but after last week, we already knew that. Still more HG is always a good thing. Well not when it's about her love life, which currently has her hooked up with some random woman named Giselle. After the screen fades, we see the flashback was a memory recorded in Arthur's Round Table, keeper of warehouse memories. Mrs. Frederic explains that their job today is to contribute their defining moment as well. Artie protests that it's too soon but Mrs. Frederic believes Warehouse 13 is about done for. Pete vigorously protests after Myka reminds Steve that they will be unemployed, since the host country chooses their own agents. Pete: "Okay I've got an idea. How about instead of sitting around the mystical table of kumbaya, we do something crazy like, I don't know, stop it from moving, right?" Oh Pete, never change. Mrs. Frederic cites the natural order of things. Pete: "We're talking about losing our home…" Claudia interrupts the escalating argument by volunteering to go first.

She places her hand on the stone and the artifact flashes through several episodes of Claudia highlights before choosing a mission we've never seen. See it's a clip show but we've only seen some of the clips a la Community. In a bizarre twist, Claudia's memory starts with Myka and Pete tap dancing with hundreds of 42nd Street dancers. Claudia herself is nowhere to be seen. Apparently Pete pushed a warehouse button, violating rule #1, and now the warehouse is overrun by deadly dancers as everyone taps their way to death. It reminds me of the Buffy musical but far more intentionally funny, especially when Steve taps onto the scene. Steve: "I don't know what I did in a past life to deserve this." Ha! He's trapped between 2 dancing mobs and zaps everyone to no effect. No wonder he hates musicals. If I had to hear the 42nd Street theme song over and over by manically grinning headdresses, I wouldn't be a fan either. Finally Claudia joins her own memory as she and Artie look for a way to counteract the artifact. It's a little hard when they keep breaking out in spontaneous jazz hands. Claudia: "Easy Tommy Tune." Ha! (Side note - I was privileged to see Tommy Tune in 2 different musicals. Literally show stopping work.) The agents meet together to make a plan. Pete: "So we led our girls to the Escher vault and locked them in. Also, I think we're going to need a new Escher Vault." Oops! Artie's plan involves Busby Berkeley's flask and Goodman Beggar's tin pan. When combined and thrown at the 42nd Street marquis, it will stop the dancing. Not sure why they can't just spray goo on it, but it gives Claudia a chance to shine. The marquis needs a spectacular dance finale to recharge enough to neutralize it and they all do the jazz hands version of Not It to elect Claudia, who thinks she's too B team for the job. Artie: "Claudia, listen to me. You're our only hope. You may be going out there B team but you're coming back A team. You can do it kiddo. Only not in that outfit."

One stunning dress change later and she lights up the stage, confronted by the world's creepiest dancers. Claudia: "Okay, that's a scary smile." Meanwhile the others distract the showgirls and grab the 2 artifacts needed. Basically this scene is designed to show off Allison Scagliotti's dancing talent. It works well. As she closes the number, Pete throws the pan to smash all the marquis lights. Mission accomplished and they all hunch over in leg pain. Pete: "Talk about one singular sensation." Glitter explodes everywhere to cries of, "Best job ever!" It's bittersweet to see how much they love their job, knowing it's the last time we'll see them do it. Claudia looks bittersweet too and Mrs. Frederic calls her on it. Frederic: "I would imagine that that was the moment you realized you didn't want to be caretaker after all." Say what? I call foul right now. Steve looks perplexed by this realization and mentions how often Claudia said she wanted the job. Since he's a human lie detector and the two are mutually exclusive, flag on that play. That's one major character overhaul to throw in to the finale. It would have been fine with some character development leading up to it and if Steve already knew. Now it's just a plot device for Pete and Artie. It precipitates another Pete freak out, who says Claudia doesn't have to be sorry about not being caretaker because they have the best job as agents. So much so that he's upset the others aren't trying to keep the warehouse from moving. Pete: "The question is why is no one else freaking out about losing it?" Myka: "We are. It's just some of us are a little quieter about it than others." Pete: "Oh well I'm sorry. Then someone needs to be loud about it. Look, we're not losing the warehouse. I'm going to make sure of it." He storms off and Myka follows.

Still at the Round Table, Claudia apologizes for wanting to stay an agent but both Artie and Steve say it's unnecessary. Claudia thinks it's natural to have doubts. "Right Mrs. Frederic? You must have had your doubts." Frederic: "No, I was always resolute." Ha! Claudia: "Thank you again. It doesn't matter anyway. I know my responsibility." Steve says no one is forcing Claudia to do anything, but she keeps arguing. Artie: "The hell with everybody else. You need to do what's right for you or you're going to be miserable for…" He stops mid-speech to ask if he can show them a specific memory, but Mrs. Frederic warns that it might backfire on him. Artie: "No, I'm absolutely certain that it will." Ha! That's foreboding. Again we see a best of Artie montage before segueing to an unknown young agent, Scott Moore, who smells fudge. Here be artifacts. Artie and Scott show up at the exact moment the empty lot turns into a WWII officers' club. Scott: "Wow, we're in the past." Artie: "More like the past is here." Scott: "Well that makes perfect sense when you put it that way." Bwah! I like this guy. Artie exposits that the club is trapped in a time bubble by an artifact and he only has 25 minutes a year to solve, bag, and tag it. He brought Scott along for new perspective and it works. They narrow it down to one couple as the artifact hunt begins. Artie takes the husband while Scott talks to the wife, whose champagne glass keeps draining although she never drinks it. Bingo. It's Thomas Wedgwood's champagne glass. The wife is pregnant and desperate to keep her spouse from leaving for combat. At the last second, Artie dumps the glass in the goo bag and Scott informs the husband about the pregnancy. As 1941 disappears, Artie says he's proud of Scott, who in return reveals that Artie is his FATHER! Whoa! Never saw that coming.

Neither did Claudia, who does her own freak out. Artie explains that Scott's mother was pregnant while he was in jail and never told him about Scott. He only found out years later. It all segues into the fact that Artie fought for agents to have their own The One, like with regents. I like this. Artie: "I had to fight for my happiness just as you have to." Aww, but Claudia's on information overload right now. She storms away from the table as Mrs. Frederic stares at Artie with "I told you so" face. Since one good freak out deserves another, Pete steps up to the bat again. Myka shows Pete the manual ROOM. Yes, room. That's one huge manual. No wonder no one ever knows what's in it. Pete is gung ho to find a loophole but Myka says she doesn't think there is one. Their only job is the round table right now. Pete goes on the warpath, accusing Myka of not caring. Pete: "I'm sorry I took you away from your Warehouse 13 exit interview. Just go ahead. Go play with your time capsule. I'll save the day." Ouch! Myka retaliates and storms off as well before Pete realizes that he's got a lot of reading to do. Emoangsting is the theme for everyone tonight except Mrs. Frederic and Steve, who enjoy the round table movie selection on their own. I wish I were with them. No fair that they see all the good stuff while we're stuck with forced upon shipping. Steve even gets to see Mr. Frederic. I would pay good money for that Omnimax experience.

Luckily we segue to the second best scene in the episode, where Artie and Claudia talk. Claudia: "Look Artie, I get it. I kind of think of you as a father-like person, but you're my boss so whatever you choose to share or not share is really your prerogative. But you have a son that you take on snag and bags." Artie says they haven't gone on a mission in years. They do go to Comic-Con together. Ha! My only concern about this is Scott never showed up any of the times when Artie was dying. That's blatant retconning. Still Artie is happy with the best of both worlds and explains that he never told Claudia because she would push Scott into being an agent, defeating the whole purpose of having a One. The One keeps agents sane and therefore need to live in the "real world" instead, which makes sense. Artie: "In order to stay sane, you sometimes have to be a little selfish." Claudia understands that Artie wants her to follow her heart, but then he calls her out on hiding her feelings. Um, what? Big old hypocrite. Artie: "Yes, do as I say not as I do. The prerogative of a father-like person. Look if you had just talked to me, I might have been able to help you understand that you Miss Donovan do not have to commit to the rest of your life today. It's not a crime to change your mind. You just have to stay true to yourself." Claudia: "Even if it means being a little selfish." Artie: "By God, she's been listening. I just want you to be happy." Aww! Sniff. Artie-Claudia scenes are my favorite interactions on this show. Always have been. Then they take it up a notch further. Artie: "Yeah I have a great son, who's helped me be a better father to you and I have the warehouse. Life is perfect." No, that scene was perfect and a shining example of what they should have done with these last 6 episodes.

Meanwhile, at the Round Table, Steve and Mrs. Frederic enjoy another adventure via Arthur-Vision when Myka storms in, muttering about Pete. She jumps at the chance to share her defining moment, post Myka montage and mid-memory speech. Positing what she knows about each desperate housewife sitting in front of her, she spills their dirty little secrets before accusing one of being a kitsune artifact-induced ninja cat burglar. Say that one 3 times fast. Surprise! The ladies have all put aside their differences and ninja burgle together. Suddenly it's suburban Myka and Pete vs. a whole room of ninja housewives. Best action all episode. Only action all episode, but who's quibbling. It's freaking cool! It's all kung fu fighting with everyday household items and great teamwork on Pete and Myka's part, especially when they fight back-to-back. I wish the fight had gone on longer. Instead it segues into Steve telling Myka that she loves Pete. She hems and haws and then agrees. (Eye roll, sigh, combination of both. Whatever.) She rushes to Pete, who tries to destroy the compass while talking over her and apologizing. He's scared as the warehouse gives him purpose, stability, a place to shine, and he can't bear the idea of losing it or the people he works with. Pete: "Here in the warehouse I'm the best version of myself." They talk at cross purposes until Myka kisses him. I imagine it's a lot like watching first cousins kiss, extremely uncomfortable. Terrible idea! And not one worthy of recapping. Suffice it to say Pete thinks she's possessed by an artifact or feverish. I think the writers were. Myka assures him that he won't lose her and says she loves him. He loves her too. They kiss again.

I sigh, relieved that Artie's monologue rescues me. As he goes through the warehouse fixing things, he grows increasingly upset that he's given his life to the warehouse and in the end, it's leaving him. Artie: "You know what difference does it make. It's over. And this is how it ends, just over. And what am I supposed to do? Just go sort of…I supposed to walk away? Walk away. Uh, you know you give your whole life to something every day without complaining. Well, no serious complaints. I'm here every day. Every day I'm right here for you and your damn pings. Your pings - ping, ping, ping, ping, ping, ping, ping, ping. I'm like a slave at your beck and call. You know I have lost…I have lost friends, family, people I loved have died in my arms, but I stayed faithful and gave you everything. And now that there's nothing left for you to take, well you…you're just going to just leave. Whore. That's what you are, you know. Yeah, you're just selling out to the highest bidder. Fine, you want to go, go! That's what you want to do, go. If you don't want me, I sure as hell don't want you. And enjoy your new home. You think you're going to find somebody like me? Somebody who cares about you like I do? Ha! Ha! Good luck with that! Good luck finding somebody who's devoted, somebody who would give their whole life…without a thank you, without even a piddling, little miniscule acknowledgment that they're appreciated. That they even matter to you at all." Instantly a rush of wind refreshes Artie and a perfect apple rolls down the aisle to his feet. See, the warehouse does appreciate him. Awwww! Best comforting by an inanimate object ever. Artie: "Okay then, you're welcome." That is possibly the best scene of the entire show, and it was only one character. Huge kudos to Saul Rubinek for his acting. Brilliant!

With only 2 people left to contribute memories, it's Steve's turn but he's hesitant. Steve: "What if I don't have a defining warehouse moment?" Claudia: "Of course you do, pooky. We all do." Bwah! These two crack me up. Steve calls himself the Marilyn of the warehouse and then proves he's thought way too much about this by naming which Munsters character everyone else is, stopping before he names Mrs. Frederic since he's smart and wants to keep his job. He reluctantly puts his hand on the stone and again, montage before HG Wells appears once more. I'm not sure why. They should have just written an episode with her earlier in place of the hideous second episode or Ren Faire. Apparently HG invented a shrink ray, which would have been useful in other episodes, but oh well. Somehow Artie has a clock artifact inside his body so Claudia and Steve insert themselves inner-Artie and Steve spends time in his heart, blasting the artifact away. Hmm. Wouldn't that leave clock shrapnel in Artie's heart? Not a great idea. Logic aside, Steve is struck by the peace of the moment and leaves his memory blubbering like the rest of them. Steve: "I was inside a beating human heart. I'd forgotten about that moment. It was indescribable. I saw it. I was there. It was like…" Frederic: "Nirvana." Steve: "When I came to the warehouse, I didn't think that I'd ever find peace. It's just…so much chaos you know but…" Claudia: "You found it." Steve: "No, no it was given to me. The warehouse showed it to me. That's what today is about isn't it? I mean this time capsule, it's not just for the warehouse." Frederic: "No, this ritual is also the warehouse's gift to you." It's supposed to be the writers' gift to us as well, but it fails miserably. How can they all have defining moment they forgot about or we haven't seen? Better to have left the season with taking down Valda and moving this to an earlier episode.

At least it's better than the Pete and Myka saga that never should have happened at all. It does however get Pete back to the round table at Myka's request. She says she's going to boss him around a lot now and he better get used to it. So nothing different there. Luckily all he's concerned about is when they are going "to get naked," so Myka brings up the body swapping episode before punching Pete. He says it's a turn on, she says she knows, and I throw up a little in my mouth. Please make it end. Mercifully they take pity on me and it does, in favor of a glimpse of Leena's first day at the warehouse. What a great surprise! She tells Mrs. Frederic that she will die at the warehouse and that it's okay. Best little moment of them all and Steve agrees, since he's crying again. Pete interrupts, ready to participate but instead of a new adventure, his is straight up montage. Why? Because his defining moment is everyone and everything. Or they ran out of budget for the season. Your pick. A teary Pete apologizes for his earlier fit. "I was scared that if I…if I lost this, I'd go back to being the person I was before, and…but this is who am I now. Warehouse and…and all of you have made me a better man. If it ends tomorrow or if it goes on forever, nothing…nothing will ever change that." Wow it's getting deep and emoangsty here. Enter Steve: "Or maybe you broke the table." Bwah! Even Mrs. Frederic laughs at that. Artie: "I have never heard you laugh before." But it is good to finally see and especially in an episode of so many tears. Claudia asks to see more of the table's delights but they're stopped by the ping. I'll miss the ping.

Before he joins the others to start another investigation, Pete stops to ask Mrs. Frederic one last question. Pete: "So is it really over?' Frederic: "I believe I've mentioned this more than once. This particular wonder is endless." Pete: "Really? Just this once I can't get a straight answer out of you." He kisses her on the cheek and calls her Irene, and it seems really, truly over…with 2 minutes left to spare. Huh? Pete joins the crew to talk about a fire breather in Poughkeepsie, NY. Steve is less than thrilled while Claudia and Myka want more details. Pete wants to grab Myka's hips. Claudia: "Okay this is just going to be gross." Steve: "She is not lying." Preach it! They banter and fade away with Claudia determined to research Artie's son over his strenuous objections. Suddenly there's a time skip to several decades later, where a grumpy guy scans Paracelsus-like monitors while a man and woman stand behind him arguing about whether they want to be agents or not. Claudia pops in, looking not a day older and dressed far less comfortably. Welcome to the future. Oh and Claudia is the caretaker, which means the majority of this episode was null and void. In a terrible finale, this is the moldy icing on the cake. Why make Claudia out of character and then renege in the last 2 minutes? Bah! A pox on this episode. Caretaker Claudia tells them they can change their minds about the warehouse and Faux Artie brings up the warehouse possibly moving. Yeah right! Claudia stops mid-speech, recognizing that this trio is remarkably like the pilot trio just in case that anvil missed anyone's head. They get back to tracking down Obama's basketball (bwah!) as Claudia vanishes. It's no less creepy than when Mrs. Frederic does it. She zaps to the round table and the phrase "endless wonder" is repeated by many over and over again until we pan out of the warehouse and up to the sky. The end.

The more I watch this episode, the more disappointed I am. This may be the worst series finale, when the writers knew it was ending, I've ever seen. I dropped LOST and never watched The Sopranos, Newhart, or St. Elsewhere so I realize there is stiff competition to the title. Still there's no excuse for this paltry season as a whole, which damaged my overall feelings toward the show. The plot contained everything the writers wanted as a pet project but didn't get to do in previous seasons, causing the entire season to feel rushed, illogical, and overly packed. I get that they only had 6 episodes, probably more than the writers did. That's why they should have simplified instead of made this season a tribute to writer fan fic. It was like someone said, "Hey you all get to do that 1 episode you really wanted to tell and you have 15 minutes in which to do it." That's not a successful plan and not worthy of the Warehouse 13 legacy. Far better to keep Paracelsus as the Big Bad (even as much as I adore Mark Sheppard) and let it carry through all 6 episodes, culminating with his defeat. Better yet, have Paracelsus and Valda work together so we get both Anthony Stewart Head and Mark Sheppard. Win-win all the way around. It would help story cohesiveness and could incorporate the Claire saga left hanging last season. Instead we got Paracelsus is defeated in one episode so he didn't feel threatening at all, a second episode that completely sucked out loud, wacky Ren Faire and telenovela shenanigans, Valda rising to power and defeated in the same episode in the most contrived manner, and an emoangsty clip show. Sadly, I wish Warehouse 13 had ended at season 4 when it could still go out on top.

Grade: D (and that's generous)

Best Scene - Artie breaks down while talking to the warehouse and it refreshes him and gives
him an apple

Best Awww Scene / Best Character Interaction - Artie tells Claudia that it's okay to be a little selfish and be your own self

Best Quote - Pete: "Okay I've got an idea. How about instead of sitting around the mystical table of kumbaya, we do something crazy like, I don't know, stop it from moving, right?"

Best Reason to Watch - It's the finale. If you need a reason, it's not worth watching.

Most Surprising Cameo - Lena

Best Tagline - Endless Wonder

Best Action - Ninja cat burglar kung fu fighting

Most Way Out There - Steve's heart epiphany

Biggest Shock - Artie has a son

Funniest Scene - the entire cast tap dancing to 42nd Street

The "I Wish I Were You" Award - Steve, who gets to see a lot of great warehouse moments we don't get to see. Not fair! He even got to see Mr. Frederic.

Bittersweet Moment - all of them shouting, "Best job ever."

The "You've Thought Too Much on This" Award - Steve knows exactly which one of the Munsters each of them are

Best Surprise - Kipling was a Warehouse agent as well

Biggest Hypocrite - Artie

The "What the Heck?" Award - the flash forward at the end that pretty much negates much of what happens in the episode

The "Say What?" Award - With all the times that Claudia has said that she wants to be caretaker, how did Steve not call her out for lying if she really did not want to be one? He seems as surprised as everyone else. This makes very little sense and in light of the flash forward, it serves no purpose except to get Artie to reveal his son. Foul on that play.


Screencaps by Crimson Tear, Sci Fi Empire, SyFy, Crazy HD Source, Seriable, Backlot, Derek Moore, Seat 42F, BA in English, and Wiedzma na Orbicie.

Note - I am taking a 3 week hiatus from Last Week in TV so the next column will be on June 23. At that time I will be adding a new section called Marathoned Shows. Some shows I plan on marathoning include Alias, Buffy, Burn Notice, Teen Wolf, Supernatural, Arrow, and Sleepy Hollow. I would also like to include Vikings, Chuck, Scandal, and Leverage. If you have any suggested shows to marathon, add them in the nominations box. One of my favorite thing about summer is finding new shows I missed the first time around. Also in this edition, I am handing out my overall awards for the 2013-2014, which is why this addition is so long. Please add your own TV awards for this season in the comments below and why you gave them. It's a great way to encourage people to try new shows. Until June 23, happy TV viewing!






Overall Awards (2013-2014 Edition):


Best New Show (Drama) / Most Anticipated - Sleepy Hollow

I don't even have to think about this one. Sleepy Hollow was the most dynamic, fun, fast-paced show of the season. In fact it ties for best drama period for me. I have never been more shocked by a revelation in TV as I was in that finale. Best thing is that the show doesn't take itself too seriously so it remains a fun ride for the audience. I cannot wait for the new season to begin.



Best Comedy - The Goldbergs

This was a golden year for comedy for me. Granted, many of my favorites were cancelled but I've never made so many comedies weekly viewing in my life. Of all these comedy gems, The Goldbergs wins the top prize for its consistent combination of laughs and heart. These characters grew on me more in 22 minutes than almost every drama I watched this year.



Best Recurring Show (Drama) - Teen Wolf

I will say it again, if you haven't checked this show out you need to. Don't let its terrible title or network deter you. Teen Wolf has always been swift moving from its pilot. However this season ramped everything up. From the Darach and Alphas energy to Dylan O'Brien's amazing performance as Dark Stiles, everything got better this season. Season 4 starts on June 23 so you have plenty of time to catch up.



Best New Summer Show (2013) - Graceland

Graceland had a rough beginning but unlike other summer shows with more recognition (cough Under the Dome cough) it steadily got better until I was anxiously awaiting the next episode. However, Graceland would win this award based on the twists alone. Just like Sleepy Hollow, things happened on Graceland that completely blew my mind. Plus the characters, for the most part, were incredibly well-developed for as few episodes as they had.



Best Episode / Best Exit - Community - Geothermal Escapism

It's hard when writing off a main character to do both the plot and the character justice. For a comedy it is even trickier. While I had my issues with Community this season, Geothermal Escapism sticks out in my mind as one of the best comedy episodes ever. It had all the laughter a comedy needed, but where it really soared where the great character scenes. I love how Abed uses a game to show love towards his friend and an unwillingness to let him go. Troy, on the other hand, gives Abed what he needs to move on. It is a beautiful episode about the power of friendship and a fitting goodbye to a beloved character. Kudos all around for doing such a brilliant, tough job.



Worst Network / Worst Cancellation (Drama/Comedy) - FOX - Almost Human and Enlisted

Shows get cancelled. I get that and I tend not to rail against the system too much because new shows take cancelled shows' places. Inevitably some of them become new favorites. That's TV natural selection. Still FOX totally screwed up Almost Human by airing the episodes out of order so there was no continuity or character development. In sci fi shows, even procedurals, the sequencing is vital and when audiences know something is strange, you've screwed up royally. To have Almost Human cancelled in favor of The Following is a double blow, since that show is still winning my Worst Renewed Drama of the Decade. Same thing goes for Enlisted, which never had a chance given that it debuted midseason on Fridays. Every show deserves a least shot. Plus FOX also aired these episodes out of order to make matters worse. We got an episode where Derrick tries to help out his girlfriend's son before the episode when he gets the girlfriend. Bad FOX, bad! I will miss the Hill brothers more than most characters this season. They made me laugh and encouraged my heart. At least we have the final 4 episodes to look forward to starting on June 1.



Best Action - Arrow and Agents of SHIELD

Let's face it. James Bamford is the best in the business when it comes to making action sequences dramatic, entertaining, and unique. How the man has not been nominated for an Emmy on Arrow is a complete mystery and points to the bias in the business. Even with only seeing the first ¾ of Arrow's season, Bamford has created memorable sequences. My favorite is the clock tower fight with Sarah, Oliver, and Quentin against the League of Assassins, but there are a surplus of great fight scenes to choose from. Still, nods have to be given to SHIELD as well on the strength of every single fight scene May is involved in. It's hard to believe the woman is in her 50's. She's flat out amazing and SHIELD does a great job of capitalizing on action scenes with her.



Best Character - The Blacklist - Reddington

No lie, The Blacklist frustrates me more than most shows. I hate its lack of answers, but there's no question that Reddington is fascinating. It's not all the acting, although this is James Spader at his finest. It's the way they have built the character so that it's hard to guess what he will do next. In most shows you can guess how the character will react in 98% of the situations they're in. Not so with Red. He's capable of great compassion while at the same time one of the most violent characters on TV. He's also the most manipulative. I am never quite sure what game he's playing but I know the scene will captivate me in the end.



Most Surprising - The 100 and Star-Crossed

On face value I should never have liked these shows. They were marketed poorly as teen fare with Star-Crossed having the added burden of everything showcasing the Romeo and Juliet love relationship. However, both ended up being smart, edgy, sociopolitical thrillers that went deeper than most fare on the CW. It's a step in the right direction by Mark Pedowitz. Now if they could only stop the fascination with silly love triangles on that network.



Biggest Disappointment (Drama) - Warehouse 13

More on this below in the recurring show section, but Warehouse 13 ended its series run with 6 episodes that can at best be considered poor and at worst a stain on the very legacy of the show. Instead of giving fans a great 6 episodes to tie together loose strings and send the show out on a high note, the writers decided to go for the outright bizarre and not in a good way. What a waste of 6 episodes! What a shame for a previously delightful show.



Biggest Disappointment (Comedy) - The Michael J. Fox Show

I fully admit that my upbringing in the 80's whetted my appetite for this show and caused my expectations to soar. Instead I got a very bland show with few laughs and nothing to make the characters stick out from any of the other bazillion shows that aired. I stuck around longer than I normally would because hey, that's Alex P. Keaton. Still even I couldn't withstand the general blasé feeling forever and dumped the show.



Least Expected Hit - Resurrection

Resurrection has a slow, staid pace that normally I would find boring. In one of the biggest shocks of the year, I was actually entranced by the mystery (instead of frustrated by a lack of answers - hmm, The Blacklist) and the characters. There's something about this small town being torn apart by the dead coming back to life that appeals to me. Maybe it's the way nothing about it feels campy. They might have been dead but there are no zombie references and the show respects its actors enough to let the pauses and facial expressions do the work instead of constant dialogue. One of the most powerful scenes of the season came when Henry broke down over a box of his dead son's things. No words but a lot said.



Best BBC Show - Orphan Black (2013)

I had to think about this one more than most because for the most part I really enjoyed The Musketeers and it's insane fun. In the end it was the affair between D'Artagnan and Constance that annoyed me so much that it tipped in Orphan Black's favor. (Note - I have not seen any of season 2 so this is strictly given to season 1.) While I occasionally have issues with Orphan Black's plot, the acting is superb with Tatiana Maslany leading the charge. In addition, the idea of clones and the genetics discussion has been fascinating. It's also done a great job of balancing new questions asked with old questions answered so that the show doesn't feel like it's collapsing under the weight of its own mythology. This is one of the few shows I have to make a concerted effort to find to watch but it's been worthwhile the entire time.



Best Costuming/Make-Up- Defiance

This show was runner-up for best new summer show, but what really sticks out is the elaborate costumes and make-up that sell this tale of a town trying to thrive with multiple species. I like how unique every character is and the costuming is a great physical representation of that.





Best New Addition to a Recurring Show - Teen Grimm (Grimm) and Rebecca (White Collar)

Sometimes shows get stale and it takes a fresh new story idea or character to re-energize them. That is the case of Grimm, where adding a younger Grimm has not only ramped up the action but has also given the main character something to do. Win all the way around. On White Collar, it wasn't that things were getting stale so much as the character was just really, really cool. I like Neal having a smart nemesis this time around and one who outconned him to boot. I hope both characters show up in the next season because they made their respective shows far more interesting.



Greatest Character Death - Helix - Daniel

Now I haven't seen the Person of Interest episode where Carter dies, so I understand that my mind might change afterwards. However, Daniel's death was such a sacrifice and freaking tragedy for the show's writing that it sticks out above the rest. The best thing about Helix has always been the complicated relationship between Daniel and his adoptive father, Hatake. To say they have baggage is a major understatement. However in the end, Daniel sacrifices himself to keep his father from having to make an impossible decision. The best character on the show (and the only one who actually seemed competent at his job) left on his own terms, but man am I sad to see him go.



Worst Plot Device - Arrow

Arrow's season 2 had its fair share of the absolutely ludicrous. Moira's whole storyline is a great case in point. However, the most blatantly ridiculous thing they ever did was turn the show into a freaking episode of Maury Povitch. Having Malcolm return was bad enough. Seriously, is there any sci fi show were the dead will actually stay dead? It's become as clichéd and boring as love triangles. But then they had to top it by making Thea his child. The amount of wrong in this is staggering and it killed all the enjoyment I had for the show. Worst showrunner decision of the year. (Well until I see what joys Jeremy Carver brought to season 9 of Supernatural.)



Best Historical Drama - TURN

To be honest, as a history buff, I usually find historical dramas to be ludicrous or dull. It's a shame since there is so much out there to mine for stories. That's why TURN has been a relief. It's an actual story, not just a fictionalized documentary, but it still feels true to its time period. It's not about gratuitous sex or violence like Black Sails, but it doesn't shy away from the horrors of the time either. Plus I am learning new things every episode. Since I love spy dramas as well, TURN is a great combination of intrigue and historical relevance.



Best Characters in an Otherwise Terrible Show - Once Upon a Time in Wonderland - Red Queen and Knave

Wonderland was much of the time a suckfest for me. I hated the two main heroes and their sappy true love speeches. Still I watched every single episode based on the power of the Knave and Red Queen to steal and save every scene they were in. I have not wished for a spin-off show with secondary character more since Leverage ended. I'm not about to follow the Knave into that hot mess called Once Upon a Time, but if they do any other spin-off shows I hope he's included and he brings his love with him. They have more character and charisma together than both casts combined.



Worst Show (Drama) - Dracula

Of all the drek I watched this season, Dracula wins hands-down for the worst drama. Even the hideous bore Mind Games, where every single character yelled their lines, made more sense than this anachronistic mess. Dracula went from a cool horror character to a boring businessman, whose ranting against big business made zero sense for the time period. In fact the only thing that made sense for the time period in the entire show was the setting, which was pretty impressive.



Worst Pilot (Drama) - Black Box

Narrowly beating Killer Women, Black Box had the absolute worst writing of any pilot I've ever had the misfortune to watch. It's heavy handed preachiness wearied by the first 10 minutes. The character talking in a baby voice to all of her patients undermined the whole message that the mentally insane are adults too and should be treated as such. Add in an assortment of some of the least pleasant characters ever to be thrown together in a pilot and it's no wonder people turned it off.



Worst Pilot (Comedy and Possibly of All Time) - Mixology

Talk about a cast of unredeemable, awful characters. I was only 10 minutes into the Mixology pilot when I felt an overwhelming need to take a shower. These characters were downright repulsive. Given that the entire series was supposed to take place with these characters in this night, the idea of watching anymore than22 minutes made me nauseous.




Nominated / New Shows:


Nominated Show: Chuck - 1.10 - Chuck vs. the Nemesis

I already watched all of season 1 of Chuck and part of season 2 a few years back during the Best Show contest, so I kind of remember this episode. Mostly because of Matt Bomer to be honest. I also remember liking Chuck, but it seeped down lower in my to-watch list until it disappeared from memory. It's kind of nice to get re-acquainted with the show now. Since I adore Matt Bomer on White Collar, it's a little weird seeing him this young but he's always a plus. I like the complicated relationship he has with Chuck and the revelations he gives later to Chuck about why he did what he did. Still the best reason to watch this show is because it doesn't take itself too seriously, which allows the audience to have fun with it as well. I know when I watch Chuck I'm going to laugh throughout. This one is even better because it has that great action scene as well. So, Chuck rises higher on my summer watch list and I hope this time I will actually get to the rest of it.

Grade: B+
Ranking: 4

Best Scene - Buy More fight

Best Quote - Big Mike: "No, I'm talking about Black Friday, people. The biggest shopping day of the year. When regular housewives transform into a crazy mob, blinded by door prizes, sales, and the urge to get the Christmas shopping done early."

Best Reason to Watch - the show doesn't take itself too seriously and that's exactly why it is so much fun

Best Action - Sarah and Bryce tandem fighting while Casey lays down cover fire

Best Action (non-gun) - Big Mike clears the counter like a Dukes of Hazard car slide and tries to stop the mass exodus, while Morgan tries to save Anna from being trampled

Best Code Word - Pineapple

Funniest Moment - Bryce and Chuck speak Klingon

Best Stash - Casey has automatic weapons stored under the showroom table at the Buy More

Biggest Surprise - Bryce (meaning Matt Bomer) was back, which made my day the first time around

Best Cameo - Campbell from Burn Notice. Yeah, that's only a cameo for me. For everyone else, he's random fire guy #3. Love him.

The "This is NOT a Good Idea" Award - Who decided to give Morgan a bullhorn? Not smart.

Hokiest Dialogue - Sarah: "Why shouldn't I arrest you right now?" Bryce: "Because I'm not a rogue spy, because Intersect was a mission, because Sarah you're still in love with me."

Best Speech - Morgan to Jeff and Lester



New Show - Gang Related - 1.01 - Pilot

This is TV's version of a summer blockbuster. It's got all the action, explosions, and moral ambiguity that Hollywood strives for when's school's out. It's also likely to be hampered by the same issues. It seems unlikely that a gang task force would not be monitoring gang activity on a constant basis. How no one knows of Ryan's relationship with the Acosta family is a bit strange, especially if he shows up at family BBQ's. Still the idea of an undercover drug agent instead of an undercover cop is novel and I look forward to seeing where this goes. I will give it 3 episodes before I decide if it goes on the summer to-watch list. Here's hoping there will be someone in the show I can root for, although that doesn't seem the point

Grade: B
Ranking: 4

Best Scene - Ryan is revealed to be a plant from a gang

Best Reason to Watch - All the action. It's like watching a war movie.

Biggest Shock - Ryan gives Carlos up to a rival gang, instead of having him be his biggest nemesis in future episodes.

The "Now That's What I Call an Opener" Award - After the flashback we get a heist, landmine explosion, and enough gunfire to make my heart race. Nice!

The "Who are the Good Guys Again" Award - I'm not sure I can root for a guilt by association targeting. It's bound to catch up people whose biggest crime is being born into the wrong family. Planting evidence and torture are not usually the tactics I root for either.

Biggest Psycho (1990's) - Carlos Acosta, who breaks a kid's arm for no good reason

The "Warning Please" Award - If you are going to make homemade tattoos with a blowtorch, please let me know so I can leave the room. Thanks!

The "You Did NOT Just Go There" Award - a police officer tasers a guy in his privates

The "Points for Guts, None for Brains" Award - Ryan takes on Carlos even though he's badly outnumbered

The "Does This Job Come with Health Insurance?" Award - Gang banger doesn't seem to be the best plan when it comes to safety.

Most Cocky - Tanner, who keeps scores of how everyone on the Gang Task Force is doing. I foresee pride and a fall. Wow, that was fast. 7 minutes later and you're dead.

Worst Sign - Burn Notice's Brennen is playing Internal Affairs. If he's supposed to be a good guy, I'm in trouble because he's always played the most loathsome of characters.

Most Fun - Cassius with his music and his long-lost love

The "Say What?" Award - The cop is actually a double agent for the gang? That's a switch. Unless he's a double, double agent and then my head is going to hurt.

The "Yeah, I'm Not Buying This" Award - Javier is the newer, kinder drug lord/mafia boss? Hmm.

The "Seriously?" Award - Even a drama about gangs and double agents has a love triangle? Give me a break.

Biggest Sacrilege - Hiding the murder weapon in the Bible. Not good. Not good.



Weekly Shows:


TURN - 1.07 / 1.08- Mercy Moment Murder Measure / Challenge

1.07: Taking a break from the spy business, TURN got far more personal this episode. Basically it came down to a love triangle between the crazy. It's actually the first time this year that I enjoyed the fall out of a love triangle, mostly because Simcoe cracked me up and Abraham surprised me. Seriously buddy if you miss the first shot by a country mile, you really should not insist on a second go-around. Do you have a death wish? I will say that the speeches were excellent this time around, and generally I prefer action to speechifying. Mary's plea to release Selah Strong in order to save her own marriage was touching, whereas Judge Woodhull brought the truth home by reminding Abraham of his son and ironically, his job as a spy. Even Anna's speech to Simcoe was moving in the way she played right to his pride and hope. All in all, this episode didn't move much of anything forward but it was a satisfying piece of TV. Plus next week looks like things are heating up again. Bonus points to Ensign Baker, who may be the smartest, most honorable man on the whole show.

1.08: I decided at the last minute to review this one a week early because there will be no Last Week in TV for the next 2 weeks. Kill everything about the Abraham and Anna affair and this was a great episode. The standoff between Ben and Rogers was particularly engrossing and I love how Caleb was smart enough to know it was a trap. Things are getting more intense and someone important most surely has to die soon. Here's hoping it's Simcoe, although there's no way it will be. Here's hoping even more that this show will get a second season because it's one of the best paced shows on air right now.

Grade: B-

Best Scene - the duel / Abraham tells the story of his brother's death

Best Quote - Abraham: "Emergency?" Baker: "Isn't that what you'd call it?" /

Best Reason to Watch - Abraham vs. Simcoe / Ben vs. Rogers

Best Reason to Fast Forward - Anna and Abraham

Best Save - Ensign Baker keeps Simcoe from beating Abraham

Best Interaction - Ben and Caleb

Biggest Douche - Simcoe / Rogers

Best Reveal - Abraham started the riot that killed his brother

The "I Think You Might be Crazy" Award - How Simcoe got that Anna wanted him to avenge her honor instead of that she wanted him to leave her alone, I have no idea. Insanity is the only explanation.

Worst Surprise - Abraham wakes up to see Caleb sitting next to him, ready to train him in code work

Most Disgusting - Party where everyone drinks until they puke and then drink some more / prison ship delousing and general conditions

Best Plea - The Judge tells Abraham that he can't just think about himself. If he dies in the duel, it will have consequences for his son too. / Mary asks the judge to release Selah Strong so that she can get Abraham's attention back

Best Moment - Everyone's joy that Abigail's gift to her son has come, including the British soldier who delivered it

The "Die Already" Award - every story needs its villain, but this one has plenty. Simcoe needs to die or at least be transferred to another part of the story. He was fine as a snarky captive.

Best History - The Star-Spangled Banner as an English drinking song

The "Doesn't Anyone Else Think This is a Trap?" Award - Caleb merrily heads to pick up Ben's brother in prisoner exchange. Perhaps people were more honorable back then but this screams trap to me.

Biggest Hmmm - Why would you have a duel where one person gets to shoot first and then the other shoots second? If the first person hits, then there's really no second. This is very bizarre.

Worst Plan - Anna goes undercover as a prostitute.



24: LAD - 9.04 - (2-3 pm)

One of the best compliments I can give to any show is that I didn't notice the time going by. That's exactly what happened with this episode. I was on the edge of my seat for nearly the entire time and was actually shocked when it ended so soon. The stakes are now higher for everyone. Between the phone call with President Heller and Momma Terrorist having her own daughter's finger removed, the adrenaline was pumping throughout. I am so glad that I gave this show a shot after dumping 24 years ago.

Grade: A

Best Scene - How to choose? I guess when Kate drops in on Jack from the ceiling and says she believes him. I'm glad someone finally does.

Best Quote - Heller: "To be honest with you Jack, I never thought I'd have to hear your voice again. I liked it that way."

Best Reason to Watch - constant action and all the little climaxes in plot

Smartest Move - President Heller demands to talk directly to Jack to figure out what's going on. First good move by anyone in the series. Then he follows it up with the dumbest move, but hey, he started well.

The "I Smell Double Cross" Award - My reigning theory is that Adrian is involved in the drone program as well and that is why he wanted Jack to be caught

The "No, I Don't Think You Understand" Award - Chloe, it's not over. He still has 20+ hours left and he's Jack Bauer.

The "This Won't End Well" Award - Naveed plans to flee but there's no way his wife is really going to run off with him. She's been trained too well by Momma Terrorist.

Best Turn Around - President Heller takes a very hostile crowd and gets them to applaud for him at the end. That must have been one heck of a speech.

Worst Mother Ever - Margot has her goons cut off her daughter's finger to convince her husband to fly the drones




The more I watch this episode, the more disappointed I am. This may be the worst series finale, when the writers knew it was ending, I've ever seen. I dropped LOST and never watched The Sopranos, Newhart, or St. Elsewhere so I realize there is stiff competition to the title. Still there's no excuse for this paltry season as a whole, which damaged my overall feelings toward the show. The plot contained everything the writers wanted as a pet project but didn't get to do in previous seasons, causing the entire season to feel rushed, illogical, and overly packed. I get that they only had 6 episodes, probably more than the writers did. That's why they should have simplified instead of made this season a tribute to writer fan fic. It was like someone said, "Hey you all get to do that 1 episode you really wanted to tell and you have 15 minutes in which to do it." That's not a successful plan and not worthy of the Warehouse 13 legacy. Far better to keep Paracelsus as the Big Bad (even as much as I adore Mark Sheppard) and let it carry through all 6 episodes, culminating with his defeat. Better yet, have Paracelsus and Valda work together so we get both Anthony Stewart Head and Mark Sheppard. Win-win all the way around. It would help story cohesiveness and could incorporate the Claire saga left hanging last season. Instead we got Paracelsus is defeated in one episode so he didn't feel threatening at all, a second episode that completely sucked out loud, wacky Ren Faire and telenovela shenanigans, Valda rising to power and defeated in the same episode in the most contrived manner, and an emoangsty clip show. Sadly, I wish Warehouse 13 had ended at season 4 when it could still go out on top.

Grade: D (and that's generous)

Best Scene - Artie breaks down while talking to the warehouse and it refreshes him and gives
him an apple

Best Awww Scene / Best Character Interaction - Artie tells Claudia that it's okay to be a little selfish and be your own self

Best Quote - Pete: "Okay I've got an idea. How about instead of sitting around the mystical table of kumbaya, we do something crazy like, I don't know, stop it from moving, right?"

Best Reason to Watch - It's the finale. If you need a reason, it's not worth watching.

Most Surprising Cameo - Lena

Best Tagline - Endless Wonder

Best Action - Ninja cat burglar kung fu fighting

Most Way Out There - Steve's heart epiphany

Biggest Shock - Artie has a son

Funniest Scene - the entire cast tap dancing to 42nd Street

The "I Wish I Were You" Award - Steve, who gets to see a lot of great warehouse moments we don't get to see. Not fair! He even got to see Mr. Frederic.

Bittersweet Moment - all of them shouting, "Best job ever."

The "You've Thought Too Much on This" Award - Steve knows exactly which one of the Munsters each of them are

Best Surprise - Kipling was a Warehouse agent as well

Biggest Hypocrite - Artie

The "What the Heck?" Award - the flash forward at the end that pretty much negates much of what happens in the episode

The "Say What?" Award - With all the times that Claudia has said that she wants to be caretaker, how did Steve not call her out for lying if she really did not want to be one? He seems as surprised as everyone else. This makes very little sense and in light of the flash forward, it serves no purpose except to get Artie to reveal his son. Foul on that play.



Playing House - 1.05 - Drumline

Usually it is Emma being the crazy one and Maggie doling out good advice. It's nice to see such a complete role reversal here. This is one of the best portrayed female friendships on TV and it is a refreshing change. Plus it makes me laugh. What more can you ask out of a comedy?

Grade: B

Best Scene - Emma reassuring Maggie in the police station

Best Quote - Emma: "Listen you do not make it to this very young age we're at without having made some major league mistakes. And guess what? You would not be the interesting, amazing women that you are without having made those mistakes."

Best Reason to Watch - still Emma and Maggie's relationship. They have great relationship.

Most Supportive - Emma, who talks Maggie down from so many ledges this week

Most Shocking (pun intended) - Rodney gets himself tased for Emma

The "Say What?" Award - What's up with people on this show quoting the 80's and not knowing it. CJ quotes Dirty Dancing in this one. Emma's mom goes by Phylicia Rashad in a previous episode. Were all these people high during the 80's?

The "Bail Now" Award - If I were Emma, I would say goodnight and make sure that Maggie has a cell phone to call me.

Funniest Moment - Maggie tries to flip the table but the cop nonchalantly says it's nailed to the floor

Most Ridiculous - Maggie's band uniform

Biggest Surprise - Rodney, who would be nice to see again

The "Really?" Award - Do adults actually go skinny dipping? I mean anyone after college age? I can't imagine.

Best 80's Reference - Rodney says, "As you wish." Can't go wrong with The Princess Bride.




Motive - 2.01 - Raw Deal

Motive and Graceland were my two summer surprises last year. I was getting weary of police procedurals and I didn't think knowing who the killer and victim were at the beginning would be a big enough change to keep my interest. I was wrong. Let's face it. Generally it only takes about 15-20 minutes in any crime procedural to know who did it. The victim often appears before the title card. So it's not that different to get them right from the beginning. However I've found that it takes longer to guess a motive and a couple of times I didn't figure it out until right before the police did. Because of the twist, I pay more attention and get more out of it. This season opener was no exception. While this motive was easier to guess than many, it was a fun, twisty episode. I like the redemption arc although I am very skeptical about the new character, Mark Cross. At least they aren't trying to pair off Vega and Flynn, because I am so sick of that cliché.

Grade: B

Best Scene - Bloom and Flynn have drinks and talk about Cross

Best Quote - Lucas: "Kevin didn't call the Keaton residence from any of the motel's phones." Flynn: "What, so you decided to punish me with vegetarian food?" / Cross: "So where are we on the suicide that wasn't." Flynn: "You know we try not to make our cases sound like Hardy Boys mysteries."

Best Reason to Watch - Angie Flynn, who is a sharp, sassy investigator with multiple great quotes this episode

Best Character Interaction - Flynn and Vegas, who make great, sympathetic, platonic partners. They make me laugh during the exposition as well, which is hard to do.

Best Wedding Proposal - Yes, the guy is a killer, but you have to give him props for the splashy public wedding proposal.

Least Welcoming - the grandfather, who while having great instincts, is a complete douche

Funniest Moment - Rogers ogles Cross, but Angie pulls the blinds shut and says he's not delicious

The "Say What?" Award - Vega purposely throws the interview to keep from getting a promotion. While I am happy he is still partners with Flynn, it does seem strange.

The "Poor Baby" Award - Robin, who falls in love with the man who accidentally killed her boyfriend. Ouch!




The 100 - 1.10 - I am become Death

I want to follow Lincoln. He's off exploring the world and can give me answers about the grounders and other tribes. Plus he's more interesting than 99% of the 100. Since that is not going to happen, I have to pin my hopes on the Grounder Queen next time. As for this episode, we get 2 explosions, some gunfire, and biological warfare. Plus half a dozen relationships in different stages of life. That's a lot for one episode. Probably the most far-reaching is the return of Murphy, whom I couldn't wait to die in the second episode. He's going to drive me nuts but I am anxious to see how long he can hide his true nature. If they are going to discover his treachery in the next episode, they should kill him off and move on. However, if he plays a double game for awhile, that could be interesting. Even better would be if he were a spy for the grounders. I don’t think that will happen but I would love if it did. Note - for here on out, The 100 will get the CW treatment, meaning one grade for the episode as a whole and 1 grade for the episode minus shipping issues.

Grade: B / A

Best Scene - Octavia nurses a sick Bellamy / Monty encourages Jasper to get it right

Best Quote - Octavia: "Hey, big brother." Bellamy: "I'm scared, O." Octavia: "I won't let anything happen to you. I promise." Bellamy: "That's what I said to you the day you were born." Octavia: "I know. You've told me that like a thousand times." Bellamy: "I'm glad you're here." Octavia: "Just get some rest now, okay?"

Best Reason to Watch….Next Week - Grounder Queen is back! Woo hoo!

Biggest Awww Moment - Octavia nurses a sick Bellamy

The "Oh Great, It's Him Again" Award - Murphy returns and I roll my eyes. Time for him to go. Again.

Biggest Douche - Jasper

The "Well There Goes that Theory" Award - It was definitely NOT a piece of the Ark that crash landed. Bye Diana. See where your lack of planning got you.

The "I'm with Him" Award - I'm am 100% with Finn on this one. The Grounders have every right to retaliate and when they do, it will completely be Bellamy, Clarke, and Jasper's faults. You screwed everyone.

The Least Surprising - They use the flammable fluid (hydrazine) to create a bomb against the grounders. Called it from the second Raven said it was unstable. 30 minutes later - boom!

Best Save - Monty, who helped Jasper take the shot

Best Revelation - The earth is inhabited in other places as well and they are in organized clans too

Biggest Morons - Bellamy and Clarke for giving all these idiots guns. Panicked people with guns spell disaster. Either train them up right or give guns only to those who aren't likely to shoot you by accident.

Most Brutal - Murphy kills Connor gleefully and smiles afterward

Bye Red Shirt - Derek, who just died, also just got a name. Nice not knowing you.

The "If I Have to Have Love Dynamics, I Choose You" Award - If you are going to cram love relationships down my throat, then I pick Lincoln and Octavia. Please let them run away together and please let me watch them instead. They aren't in a triangle. They guarantee that I learn more about the grounders, who are by far the most interesting part of the show right now. They will allow me to see more of the earth than just the camp. Call it a winning trifecta and the best I can expect from a CW romance.

Best Plan - Clarke has Octavia sneak out to see if Lincoln has a cure

The "Say What?" Award - Why are they using such a complicated plan to blow up the bridge? Why not just spread the fuel over the bridge and throw a flame on it? All Raven had to do before was toss a little bit of it into the fire. They wasted all their gun powder for nothing.

It was a heavy week with 3 new shows premiering: Salem, Black Box, and Bad Teacher. Salem was heavily promoted and premiered to big numbers for WGNA. Not huge numbers for cable but it was definitely a success in getting information out about the station and should be a good tentpole for them to begin more original programming. Black Box and Bad Teacher were more of what I expect from midseason shows. None of them are shows I will likely watch again. The nominated show, The Middle, is an opposite problem for me. I'd like to see more of it but it isn't available on streaming and I'm not buying a show based on 22 minutes of it. I have no idea why ALL shows aren't streaming these days. Plenty of long-in-the-tooth shows are getting new life through Netflix. It or cable rerun blocks seem to be a sound financial investment these days.

 If you would like to nominate a show, please fill out the 2 question box below. I am starting to plan my summer viewing so if you have a favorite older show that's available on Netflix or Amazon Prime, they are fair game as well. I keep telling myself I am going to finally check out Alias so hopefully this is the summer. Until next week, happy TV viewing!





Overall Awards:


Best Episode - Grimm - 3.19 - Nobody Knows the Trubel I've Seen

The addition of Teen Grimm has the potential to be very appealing. She shakes things up and therefore should make her character interactions interesting. By staying with Nick and Juliette, she gives Juliette a reason to be on screen. More importantly, she gives Nick new purpose by making him her mentor. Right now Nick tends to sway between irksome and boring so giving new life to the character is a must. Besides, Teen Grimm can show him some of her fighting skills. Win-win. I'm also surprised by how much more I like Adalind now that she's a mom. I've said this before but again I felt sympathy for her. Once that sympathy was waning, she went back to scheming but now I understand her purpose in doing so, making it more appealing. Plus, she's starting her campaign with Renard, likely giving him more screen time. That's always a good thing. The only negative to this is that Prince Viktor is still hanging around like a piece of gristle stuck in the teeth. I hoped he would depart for a good long while, but no dice. I still miss Mama Grimm and I want Wu to smack all the Grimm Gang, but for me this is a renewed Grimm that makes me anticipate the next episode. Way to find the rails again!



Best Scene  - Blacklist - 1.19 - 
The Pavlovich Brothers - 
Tom and Elizabeth interrogation scene

Not only is this the best scene of the week, but it is also the most intense even before the fight breaks out.  Elizabeth Keen has proof that her husband Tom has been planted by some group into her life to spy on her.  Her whole life has been a lie.  After weeks of pretending like she doesn't know in order to get information, she snaps and alerts Tom to her knowledge.  He runs but Red finds him and sends an extrraction team.  As the scene starts, this is the first time Elizabeth can unleash all the pain and betrayal she's felt.  Tom tries to keep it professional, citing that everything he did was for his job, but for her it is very personal.  Elizabeth:  "Say something to your wife, who's dying in front of you.  Say something." In response he brings up a sweet story from their third date.  He knew he had her then and felt sorry for her.  He never wanted this, but it was his job.  Sympathy and sorrow over.  Now it's time for answers.  In a character twist, Elizabeth uses torture by breaking her husband's thumb with a wrench to get the answers she needs.  It's a completely new side of her and one that makes her more like Reddington than ever.  Sadly, it also means that Tom can get out of the cuffs.  They have one epic fight, but he's an assassin and she's a profiler.  He defeats her soundly and handcuffs her to the bannister.  It seems like all is over but he throws one more curveball at her.  He insists he's the good guy.  Tom:  "I am not here to hurt you, Liz.  My job was never to hurt you.  I'm one of the good guys.  Reddington, he's not who you think."  Liz:  "I will find you."  Tom:  "I can prove it." He tells her to take the key from the lamp and get info from his social security box that will prove it.  As he says goodbye, I am psyched to find out if he really is a good guy.  I hope he is because he has a greater chance of returning that way and not dying.  He's turned into the most fascinating character on the show.

TV Trend of the Week - Great Music

This week TV had me heading to the iTunes and YouTube more often than usual and most of that was because of the music.  From folk ballads to electronica, music has increasingly been a focus of my TV viewing.  When it's bad, it can break a scene (talking to you sad plinky piano of Black Box), but when it's good it can make a scene more poignant and help me find a new artist to explore.  That's you The Blacklist.  Other times it stirs up nostalgia and reminds me of songs I haven't listened to in awhile.  My favorites from this week include:

TURN - sea shanty Spanish Ladies by Sarah Blasko
Bad Teacher - Ladies Night by Kool & the Gang
The Blacklist - Change of Time by Josh Ritter
Surviving Jack - Friday I'm in Love by The Cure / Suicide Blonde by INXS



Nominated/New Shows:


Nominated Show -

The Middle - 5.15 - Vacation Days

The Middle has largely flown under my TV radar. It's not a bubble show, but it's not a breakout hit either. I don't hear people talking about it, but it obviously has a loyal fan base. Therefore I wasn't sure what to expect. I'm not a fan of Everybody Loves Raymond, and that's all I know Patricia Heaton from. I was a huge fan of the janitor on Scrubs though. Going in blind, I found the show enjoyable. Frankie is a kazillion times better than Debra for me, and I found the parents immensely relatable. The kids overdosed on quirky and I'm not sure what to make of them yet, but it is nice to see a normal family that obviously cares and doesn't feel the need to put each other down all the time. Still they don’t necessarily want to be around each other constantly either. I get that. I also appreciate their work ethic. I'm the Frankie in my family with a list of groans when I get home, but I'd like to be more like Mike with a dash (just a tiny one) of Sue. Overall I liked the characters, although Brick's voice annoys me, but I felt like I didn’t get a good feel for the show with this episode. Perhaps if I watch a few more episodes. Also while there was a lot of heart, it was a little short on out loud laughs for a comedy. Again I'm not sure if that is the typical style, if it's just the episode I picked, or if it's my general frustration anytime I have to Hulu a show. This would definitely be a summer show for me if past episodes were available on streaming. As it is, I'll have to wait until that happens or find a really good DVD sale.

Grade: B
Ranking: 2 because it's not available on streaming. It would be higher if it were.

Best Scene - Frankie and Axl compromise and negotiate on the car ride

Best Quote - Mike: "You got any coupons for picking up a couple idiots in Tennessee?"

Best Character Interaction - Mike and Brick

The "You're Even Creeping Me Out" Award - Sue won't take her eyes off her customers and can't read the social cues that she's freaking them out.

Goofiest Friend Bonding - the Sue and Brad stage slap

Best Twist - Frankie runs out of gas and didn't bring her wallet when she went to pick up Axl

Snarkiest - The garage mechanic, who made me laugh harder than the rest of the characters combned

Worst Present Ever - 2 minutes of tickle time. Say what?

The "Wow! That's Some Dedication to a Minimum Wage Job" Award - I have worked with a lot of teens, but I have never seen one so excited and eager to please at a fast food job as Sue. She may actually need some therapy.

Most Flexible - Axl. There's no way I could drive with one foot out the driver's side window. Not sure he should be doing so either.



New Shows -

Salem - 1.01 - The Vow

That was definitely one of the weirdest pilots I have ever seen. It was a little gross, a little too much nudity, and a whole lot of What the Heck! There is no end to the downright bizarre in Salem. Basically it tells the story of John Alden, who has returned to Salem after fighting for years in a war against the French and Indians, only to find his love married to his biggest enemy and a town he despises on the verge of tearing itself apart. The twist is that there really are witches causing chaos in Salem. They're just not the ones on trial. On the surface, this show somewhat resembles Sleepy Hollow in that witchy stuff happened in the past and crazy visuals pop up when you least expect it. They have a similar revenge theme as well. Still, in tone they are quite different. Sleepy Hollow has a snarky, self-mocking tone with a lot of action, huge twists, and dabbles of camp. Salem appears to take itself much more seriously, which actually makes it an easy target to laugh at sometimes. The action was overrun in a quest to find the most shocking visual and the big ending twist was not surprising in the least. However, this is only the pilot and they could go a million different ways on the story foundation they have created. I could see this becoming a water cooler show if probably not a huge ratings hit for cable overall. It is certainly a hit for WGNA and probably a wise tent pole to start building a channel on. Based on only the 3-4 episodes of AHS I have seen, I'd say that Salem is built more to the American Horror Story crowd. Not for me, but this is likely to become someone's new favorite show.

Grade: C+
Ranking: 2

Best Quote - Corey: "This is the Alden house and there ain't any Aldens left so you are either a ghost or you're about to be one."

Most Missed - Corey, already and I'm not sure I'll even see anymore of Salem

Biggest WTH / Most Brutal - This may end up the hardest award to give this week by sheer volume of WTH moments in this episode. In the end writhing mud people and swallowing a toad barely miss out to Mercy, the witch hunting dog. Who the heck came up with this stuff?

Most Encompassing - Mary plans to turn the Puritans against each other in revenge and claim Salem for witches

The "Say What?" Award - Abortion by witchcraft? Huh?

Most Bizarre - In a show postulating demons, the strangest thing I saw was coin money that can be snapped in two by hand. Not sure I'd trust that.

Least Surprising - Hale is a witch

The Real Power - Tituba, who has power over Mary and thus power over all

Most Unique Punishment - Making the guy who sent your lover off live with a live toad in him.

The "Well That's One Way to Keep Your Secret" Award - Mary tells Cotton to stone press Corey



Black Box - 1.01 - Kiss the Sky

I laughed throughout this episode and that's the problem. It's supposed to be a drama. I'm supposed to feel empathetic toward the main character and her squeaky little kid voice. However with all this ham-fisted dialogue from cardboard flat characters, it's hard not to laugh even if you feel bad afterwards. Well the parts that did not feel like a PSA on mental illness at least. I did learn a lot in those 42 minutes that felt like 180. In all fairness, I usually do not like medical dramas because the medical often gets drowned out in the melodrama. Any show where the doctors spend more time getting it on than saving patients or their personal Issues with a capital "I" take over the hospital work leaves me bored and slightly disgusted. Looking at you, Grey's Anatomy. Black Box definitely feels like it shares the same address. This is a particularly bad pilot but it is still only a pilot. There's a chance that in the interim they addressed the more serious problems and subsequent episodes will probably plump up the characters. If you like soapy medical dramas, check it out. Me, I'd rather watch real surgery with a queasy stomach than more of this.

Grade: D-
Ranking: 1

Best Scene - Joshua stays with Cate at the hospital after she's admitted

Best Quote - Mahmoud: "I have bad news. Anthony has a brain tumor." Black: "Yes!" Mahmoud: "Okay and I thought I was weird. Since when is a mass in the head good?"

Best Reason to Watch - If the info is realistic, you will learn a lot about mental illness and the effects of bipolar disorder on everyone

Best Reason to Fast Forward Skip - sometimes the speeches feel like a PSA on mental illness / the writing

Most Soapy Plot Twist - Cate's daughter, Esme, thinks she's her aunt because her brother and his wife are raising her

Most Fun Character - Mahmoud. She's also criminally underused as the quirky sidekick.

Most Irksome - Cate consistently reverts to a pitched, slower, "talking to little kids" voice when she's talking to her patients. It comes off as condescending. Of course her "high as a kite," manic voice sounds like a little kid and that gets frustrating as well.

Best Character Interaction - Cate and her psychiatrist

Funniest Moment - Cate's reaction to the patient seeing elves

Biggest TV No-No: Why are there recapitations in the pilot? Why? If we haven't paid enough attention to something that happened no more than 15 minutes ago, a recapitation is not going to help. Better writing will. Argh!

Most Ham-Fisted Dialogue - This is actual dialogue in the pilot. I couldn't make this up.

1. Black: "What are you doing? You're supposed to be scrubbing in. If you're high , you're not operating on my patient." Bickman: "It seems to me that you're the one who's flying." Black: "You're turned on. God, you're a pathological creep." Bickman: "Dominating b**." Black: "Wait, wait, I'm engaged." Bickman: "What does that have to do with anything?"

2. Bickman: "Do you always get so worked up in defense of your patients? I mean it's cute but take my advice and detach. Emotions get in the way of everything. I told you I'd fix it and I will."

3. Black: "I can hear music. I can hear music. None of you can hear it because I'm incredibly special to God and you are nothing." Kid: "It's your cell, douchebag."

4. Black: "Talk to me. One reason." Hartramph: "Your work. If you're gone, the void cannot be filled. Dr. Catherine Black is needed and loved." Black: "Not for who I really am." Hartramph: "The best part of you is who you really are. The rest is a disease."

5. Black: "The brain is the ultimate mystery. That's why doctors call it the black box." - See what they did there? Get it? Clever, huh.



Bad Teacher - 1.01 - Pilot

I'm really not sure how I feel about this show yet. On one hand, I did not laugh even once which is a bad sign for a comedy and the characters are all one-dimensional so far. On the other hand, there are a whole lot of good actors in this and I didn't find it completely offensive as a teacher so that's a plus. To be honest, it may also be that I'm being more generous than usual with this episode because it didn't drag on like the show I watched prior to it and it's late. Overall Lily is the best character but Irene has the most potential. Meredith is kind of stuck until she eventually learns to love teaching and to give up being shallow, or at least that's where this seems to be heading. In the end this will probably be a channel flip show. If I happen to come across it, I'll watch to see if it gets funny. If not, I'll forget about it.

Grade: C
Ranking: 2

Best Scene - The cafeteria walk

Best Quote - Bronwen: "Thanks. Adults are never honest." Irene: "Yeah, especially on E-Harmony."

Best Character - Lily. Yes she exudes that childhood wisdom only found in Hollywood, but she's also quirky yet relatable.

Most Needy / Most in Need of an Overhaul - Irene, who is way too low on self-esteem to actually work in a middle school. The kids would eat her alive.

Least Surprising - Meredith and Coach sleep together

Funniest Moment - When her doctor date pulls up, Meredith calls the car a hottie but the date is an afterthought

The "Say What?" Award - Since when can teachers ride the school bus to work? Actually when would anyone want to do that? I'd rather walk.

Biggest Reason They Need an Educational Consultant - Um, everything. No one gets hired without a police background check and usually an FBI check. Also, kids would never be able to leave the cafeteria en masse like that. Most of all, not that many parents would ever show up for a middle school Career Day. Maybe elementary.

Best Music - Meredith leads the Safety Patrol into the cafeteria to Ladies Night by Kool & The Gang



Weekly Shows:


Turn - 1.03 - Of Cabbages and Kings

This episode had some shocking twists in as much in what they didn't do as in what they did. First, Simcoe still is not free although that looked exactly like where the story was heading. I truly enjoy this twist, mostly because this cardstock villain is more tolerable in chains than in power. The second big twist was that when Mary went to confront Anna about her relationship with Abraham, instead of it becoming a chick fight, she gave her blessing provided they were discreet. Hate this twist. The last thing I want to see is an Anna and Abraham romantic relationship bloom. I'm tired of glorified adultery. On the plus side, Ben showed a lot of growth in this episode and I actually liked Caleb beyond just his snark. It was relieving to see a historical piece actually conform to the beliefs of its time. Looking at you, Dracula! Still the best part was again Abraham and his father. They approach things so differently it's surprising Abraham hasn't been cut off by now and daddy dearest really needs to learn to shut up before Abraham turns the tide of the war singlehandedly just to spite him. Speaking of, Abraham also showed more cunning in this episode than usual. In the pilot I wondered how he would ever be a convincing spy, but his negotiations over the hogs and the way he got the Hessians to talk was well-done.

Grade: B

Best Scene - Ben tries to talk Newt out of standing with his kin

Best Quote - Anna: "You have a plan?" Caleb: "Well, more an interesting way of getting myself killed. But you know, I'm trying to think of how I better the odds."

Best Character Interaction - Abraham and his father

The "It's Salem All Over Again" Award - Abraham's father is eager to accuse Anna of murder in order to get her cauliflower crop. A regular thief in the law, you are sir.

Most Effective Speech - Ben's in the house, which makes Newt hesitate and gives them the upper hand

Least Effective Speech - Abraham's father, who sends Abraham running to the other side

Most Historical - Caleb's view about a woman's place. This is one of the few historical dramas that gets it right.

Smartest Plan - Abraham bonds with Hessians over sauerkraut to find out they are headed to Trenton

The "Say What?" award - I understand marriages of convenience in this time period, but still. She didn't know her husband was engaged to another woman? Do they even talk?

Most Sadistic Bad Guy - Simcoe slow claps and basically gives "bravo" accolades to Ben for shooting his former men

The "This is Totally Going to Bite You in a Couple of Episodes" Award - Anna straight up lies to Abraham about Simcoe, even though Caleb was going to come clean

Best Music - The more modern take on the sea shanty, Spanish Ladies, which was also sung in Jaws and mentioned in Moby Dick and probably actually post-dates the American Revolution.



Warehouse 13 - 5.02 - Secret Services

An utter disappointment of an episode, the writers fell badly in trying to cram far too many storylines in when they would have been much better off in simplifying the season once they realized they only had 6 episodes. With the exception of Artie and Steve and to a slightly lesser degree Claudia, nothing about this felt like a Warehouse 13 episode. There was very little humor, the dialogue was muddled when not completely anvilicious, and oh what a mess they made of the characters. I don't think Mrs. Frederic could be more out of character if they dressed her in a pink bunny suit and had her tell people's fortunes on the street. Even the long-lost agent friends we've never seen before were clumsy and awkward in their role as foils to this out-of-the-blue Pete and Myka relationship. When first time characters exposit that a relationship can be platonic forever and then suddenly one day just poof, become romantic, you know you've hit the very, very bottom of the writing well. It was a mini how-to lesson in exactly how NOT to write an episode. What a disaster! The only thing that saved it was Steve mediating, Claudia's family back story, and just how much Artie cares about Claudia.

Grade: C- (the grade gets worse in every rewatch it seems)

Best Scene - Artie and Claudia go back in his memory

Best Quote - Claudia: "Keeping me safe is not your job." Artie: "Yes, it is. It is precisely my job."

MVP - Steve, who if this whole Warehouse thing doesn't work out, could have a great career as mediator

Best Reason to Fast Forward - any talk about changing priorities, vibes, or romance

The "Oh Yeah, Right" Award - Claudia: "I'll leave it alone after this, I promise, but I need to know what happened." Anyone believing that probably fell for Nigerian prince e-mails as well.

Most Heartbreaking - Claudia watches her sister kill her parents

The "Miss Nosy" Award - Mrs. Frederic asks Myka if she wants to have kids

Most Used Word - fracking and no, not Battlestar Gallactica frakking.

The "Swing and a Miss" Award - Myka and Pete accuse the other agents of killing people but instead they were just getting married

Biggest Aww Moment - Young Claudia hugs Artie for comfort

Best Foreshadowing - 7 year old Claudia fixes a computer with just a few keyboard clicks



Star-Crossed - 1.10 - What Storm is This that Blows

What a hot mess! This very special episode was brought to you by Love Geometry, now blazing on the CW Tour, and sponsored by an anti-drug PSA, spontaneous plot resolution, and more teen hormones than South Padre Island during high school spring break. Run because something in Louisiana is catching and its biggest side effect is emoangsting. Secondary effects include bad judgment, weepy speeches, and an overall sense of ennui. Where are the scientists from Helix when you need them? Because judging by previews for the next episode, things are only getting worse from here.

Grade: D / C- (but those 10 minutes had the most plot)

Best Scene - Grayson blackmails Drake

Best Quote - Drake: "You want a name. Me. I was a Trag. I'm not anymore, but I can get you the information you want. You've just gotta give me more time." Grayson: "You're saying you used to be a Trag. So how do I know you're not anymore?" Drake: "Because if I was, you wouldn't be alive."

MVP - Gloria. Who knew she could be so powerful? Glad she's on their side.

Best Reason to Watch - Um, well, that evil scientist plot was wrapped up quickly so if you skip this episode, you might wonder what happened. Plus some random people took some random things that will become all important in the next episode probably. Since I have no idea who took what or why, I can't fill you in. However Roman and Drake think it's a bomb and plan on stopping it. Some of the non-drugged characters have done a 180 and that could be confusing also. Mostly though, you could skip this episode and just watch the previouslies. Nothing really happened here.

Funniest Moment - High as a kite Roman saying, "I cannot be in 2 places at once."

Best Reason to Fast Forward - To be honest, I actually skipped the fast forward and just stopped watching the episode at the 38 minute mark. I knew Roman and Emery were going to take us out and I needed to fortify myself before it. I finished the episode the next day.

Worst Idea Ever - a choreographed dance to out yourself as a couple. Is Marshall High vying to be the next LaGuardia High? "Fame, I'm gonna live forever…"

The "Are You Kidding Me?" Award - Roman fell for the bumped tray routine? They obviously don't have spy thrillers in the Sector.

The "You May be High, but You're NOT Wrong" Award - Tripping Roman says the most honest words in the series so far. "Anytime I have to pick between you and what's best for the Atrians, I always choose you and it's always the wrong choice." Um writers, that goes for you too.

Most Evil - Shady Science Teacher wins all the awards in this category. She even has her own henchman.

The "Are Those Crow's Feet? Why Yes, They Are." Award - I'm not sure what it is about this episode's lighting but half the cast looked like they turned 30 in that high school.



Blacklist - 1.19 - The Pavlovich Brothers

Just once. Just once I would like the law to NOT arrive a mere 3 seconds after the bad guys get what they want. Just once I would like said bad guys to be caught in the first 10 minutes of an episode and let the story unfold from there. It could be that there's a higher bad guy. It could be that their dastardly plan is bigger than we thought. It could be about turning the bad guy and making them an asset. I don’t care. Let's just once foil the bad guy's plan first and then go to a bigger story. No? It's against TV law to change things up in a procedural? Darn! Then can we at least have the good guys miss them by a good 15 minutes or so. These near misses are just annoying and not only on this show. Surely ineffective Feds/Cops/Agents get stuck in traffic and end up late to work like the rest of us.

Other than that and The Blacklist's continual mission to afford us absolutely zero answers, this episode was one of the better ones. It all comes down to the tension between Tom and Elizabeth and the subsequent interrogation and fight scene. Everything about Tom has become thrilling and interesting, a complete 180. At first I wondered why they were bringing back the pilot bad guys, but it actually worked not only because they could extract Tom but mostly because it meant we didn’t need to spend time getting to know them. A minimal criminal of the week in the background provided ample time to concentrate on the real story, the confrontation. Kudos, Blacklist writers! Even better they left the ending open so Tom really could end up the good guy. I would love that. It makes him even more remarkable and hopefully ensures that he will be back some time, hopefully to confront Red next time.

Grade: B+

Best Quote - Tom: "It was the sweetest thing, and ever since that moment I just felt sorry for you because I knew…I knew that I had you. Part of me didn't want it to work, but it did."

Best Character Interaction - Tom and Elizabeth, by far.

Best Action - Extracting Tom

Biggest Moron - Elizabeth Keen. Use your best Hermoine voice and say it with me, "What. An. Idiot!" Red already has people following Tom and you know he's paranoid. Why not tail him yourself? Why heed a professional's warning to back off? It's not like your husband will recognize you if he sees you, right Lizzie?

Quirkiest Character Trait - Red always fills in personal details about his life to the people he's manipulating, threatening, or torturing. It actually makes him creepier instead of less.

Biggest Understatement - Ressler: "I think she's having troubles at home, sir."

The "What the Freaking Heck?" Award - Elizabeth uses a wrench to break Tom's thumb. Did not see that coming anymore than Tom did.

Best Twist - Red uses the Pavlovich Brothers to extract Tom before they are captured by Lizzie.

Biggest Tease - You promise me answers with that ending, but you've played that card over and over again. I no longer believe you, The Blacklist. You won't get my hopes up again.



Growing Up Fisher - 1.09 - Desk/Job

My opinion of Growing Up Fisher seems to rise and fall on how I like Joyce in a particular episode. In this one, I thought she was great. There's nothing wrong with learning to stand up for yourself…although it is always good to have the facts first. What I really enjoyed in this one was that Katie and Joyce had some great mother-daughter bonding moments. It also helped that Mel finally lost. He can get a bit overbearing so it's nice to see him knocked down a peg or two.

Grade: B

Best Quote - Joyce: "You know I'm coming around on the cargo pants. I mean it's really like having 16 purses."

Best Moment - The judge threatens to hold Mel in contempt of court

Best Character Interaction - Katie and Joyce. It is good to see them encouraging each other and getting along. I like the girl power here.

Best Reason to Watch - Mel finally loses. He's been needing to for weeks now and it's nice it happened while Henry was around.

MVP - Joyce, who had by far the best lines of the night

Best Salesman - Henry, who turns buying a raffle ticket into standing up for all the non-popular kids and giving all kids a placed to feel loved and accepted

Most Nauseous - Pet nicknames Gummy Bear and Grizzly Bear. That's way too sugar sweet, especially said in teen love voice.

The "Okay Spill" Award - What exact combination of cereals leads to blue milk? That's too cool.

Best Return - Janice is back as the best office manager



The 100 - 1.06 - His Sister's Keeper

All good things must come to an end. I thought this episode might hit an excellence trifecta for The 100, but sadly no. It got swamped down in the typical CW love triangle junk, the bane of my TV watching. Watching Raven's trajectory from overly excited and non-social cue reading reunited romance to jilted lover did zero for me except give me a headache from rolling my eyes so hard. She's a potential great character so hopefully they will leave off her mooning and get things back to normal. No killing off Finn either, by the way. That's just a cop out. On a more positive side, I did like learning about Octavia and Bellamy's relationship. They did a great job filling in the characters' motivations and it made their break at the end more poignant. Considering that Bellamy has to feel responsible for his sister's discovery and mother's death, it makes more sense as to why he would shoot the Chancellor and risk what he feels is certain death in order to make amends. It was also interesting to see the master manipulator being manipulated himself. It should be fascinating when Blake learns Bellamy is still alive. He won't be too excited that the one person who can link him to the Chancellor's almost murder is still very much kicking.

Grade: B-

Best Scene - Bellamy leads Octavia out into the Ark for the first time and she sees the moon rise

Most Intense - Bellamy and Octavia fight at the end

Best Quote - Finn: "I don't speak grounder, but I'm pretty sure this means keep out."

Cheesiest Line - Bellamy: "Storm's coming" complete with dramatic shutting of the gate.

Most Missed - Present day Ark. I wanted some follow-up to the people's deaths and seeing the rockets

Best Reason to Fast Forward - inevitable CW love triangle nonsense. Don't worry though. I'm sure there'll be even more fun love geometry in the future. Why stick with a triangle when you can have an octagon?

Biggest Awww - Bellamy names the new baby, Octavia

Biggest Surprise - Octavia could be missing for so long without Bellamy realizing it

The "Top-Notch Ninja" Award- the grounder takes John without anyone in the search party noticing

Best Guest Star - Red Shirt #2, aka Jason Dohring look-alike, played the pizza delivery guy in one of my favorite Supernatural scenes. He's the one who delivered the pizza to DraculaShifter in Monster Movie. DracShifter: "Is there garlic on this pizza?" PDG: "Did you ask for garlic?" Bwah!

Best Character Development - Bellamy, although Octavia was fleshed out nicely too

The "Aww, You Tried" Award - Bellamy tries to sneak Octavia into the Union Day Masquerade Dance. Darn solar flares messing with a good time.



SHIELD - 1.19 - The Only Light in the Darkness

SHIELD continues to up the ante on the battle between SHIELD and Hydra. I continue to like this show more. Right now, I am very intrigued by Ward and what he is going to do next. Is what he's telling Skye partly true or is it the consummate manipulation? I hope it's the latter to be honest, but I suspect he will die saving her from Garrett and then I'll be ticked off. However, I loved getting a glimpse of May's mom. She had me laughing from the beginning and I'm very curious as to what agency she worked for. I hope she comes back because I'd love to hear about May's back story. Sadly though, we said goodbye to Agent Koenig who I also liked from the start. I was less than thrilled by Coulson's continued tantrum that went so far as to possibly put his team in danger this time. At least he realized what a hypocrite he has been and hopefully will pull his head out of his butt in the future. He's the last person who should be upset about someone withholding information from him when he routinely withholds info from his team.

Grade: B+

Best Scene - Skye realizes that Ward is Hydra, although I figured she would blame May for Eric's death first

Best Quote - Koenig: "The NSA's already got SHIELD on its watch list. Why poke the bear, the big, scary water boarding bear?" / Coulson: "Who did you say created this technology again?" Fitz: "Bruce Banner." Coulson: "Then I'm sure it will go off without a hitch."

Best Montage Scene - the lie detector test scene is pure filler but it was a great way to help us know the characters better. Kudos to a little character insight in a unique way.

Biggest Hypocrite - Coulson, but at least he realized it tonight

Biggest Mistake - Ward says that he killed Garrett, which would have automatically blown his cover later if Skye didn't accidentally blow his cover in this episode

The "I Don't Blame You" Award - I completely understand why May left. Coulson doesn't deserve her and I'm sure she could find others who do. I'm rooting for a May spin-off because that show would kick butt. Sadly, she'll return to be part of Coulson's crew instead.

Walking Deluminator Award - Daniels

The "It's a Recap Palooza" Award - As Ward tells his fake story, we see recapitations of what really happened last time. You know, just in case we missed the fact that Ward is working for Hydra. It's easy to forget those pesky minor details.

Best Answer to a Stupid Question (practical) - When asked what's in a box on a deserted island, Trip answers: "A sat phone, so I can call someone to get me off that island."

Best Answer to a Stupid Question (creative) - When asked the same question, Simmons answers the Tardis. Ha! Perfect geek answer.

Best Addition - Agent May's mom. I'd love to get more info on this family.

Dumbest Call - Coulson decides not to take May and he can't take Ward to a fight with a dangerous psychopath. Talk about throwing a fit to spite yourself. Way to put your team in danger because your feelings are hurt.



Surviving Jack - 1.05 - Something to Talk About

Another comedy hit for Surviving Jack. I really don’t know why the best comedies on right now are getting soft ratings while things like Two and a Half Men still get a 2.5 share. The Goldbergs, Enlisted, Surviving Jack, and Trophy Wife are more consistently funny than most comedies getting twice the ratings. For Surviving Jack, it is walking that fine line between cantankerous and abusive that allows me to chuckle at Jack's over-the-top declarations. Plus the fact that he adores his wife more than anything else. It's an unusual sentiment for Hollywood and more in line with comedies back when the show takes place. I miss those. It also helps that Christopher Meloni does a great job with his facial expressions to let the audience know there is more going on there. Overall, I would take this comedy over most available. Darn those pesky mid-season premieres. On a side note, I finally figured out where I know Rachael Harris (Joanne) from. She was one of my favorites on Best Week Ever and I Love the 80's.

Grade: B+

Best Scene - Jack unwittingly says the right thing when he says they will never stop being parents

Funniest Scene - George and Mikey put themselves in the pool after saluting with cadence playing in the background

Best Quote - Jack: "I am begging for them to need us less. We're never going to stop being parents. It's like a life sentence with no hope of parole." Joanne: "That's the sweetest thing you could have ever said to me. Thank you."

Best Character Interaction - Jack and the fireman. The fireman thinking the worst of Jack and Jack not caring was priceless.

Worst "Meet the Parents Dinner" Ever - nothing like your dad using chicken stuffing to explain your mother's reproductive system and your mom high on pain pills to kill the moment. Add in a porno movie and a fire and chances are your relationship's over. If your girlfriend has to take your mom's painkillers from her, it may not be the best impression.

Biggest Awww - Jack soft voices and tries to make sure everything is perfect for Joanne's recovery

Best Casablanca Synopsis Ever - "It's just a bunch of sad European guys making hard choices." / "Me, I prefer my war movies to actually have war in it."

The "No, Empty Threats Here" Award - Jack really does toss both his kids in the pool, along with Doug, and threatens to dunk Heather. Bwah!

Frankie's Favorite Childhood Moment - Dad tosses sister in the freezing pool. Ha! That is a classic.

Best Nostalgia - Fresh Prince of Bel-Air / hairspray napalm



TBBT - 7.21 - The Anything Can Happen Recurrence

I laughed more in this episode than I usually do with The Big Bang Theory and yet, it also had a lot of heart. That's the comedy sweet spot. Generally on a show this old, the characters are in a worn groove, similar to how the characters were feeling. By mixing up their interactions, it gives us a fresh glance at them. I really loved Leonard and Amy getting a scene with just them in it. It was touching and probably the most heartfelt since Howard had them all sing his love song to Bernadette. Kudos! Still it was beat out by the sheer reaction of Sheldon to the psychic, not to mention the crackling dialogue. I also like Sheldon and Penny together because she does get him to experience new things, which is always hilarious. Not sure I'd have any different reaction to Chinese served in a taco to be honest. This was TBBT at the best it's been in a long while.

Grade: B+

Best Scene - Sheldon and Penny visit the psychic

Best Quote - Sheldon: "This is Asian fusion. For all you know there's a tiny Chihuahua in here." / Sheldon: "Oh that's a lot of incense or someone set a hippie on fire."

Best Character Interaction - Penny and Sheldon

Best Reason to Watch - mix matching the character interactions. More Leonard and Amy please.

Best Aww Scene - Amy tells Leonard about sometimes being jealous of Penny's relationship with Sheldon

Worst Product Placement Ever- I am never, ever watching that movie just from Howard and Raj's description. Blech!

The "That's So True" Award - Sheldon: "That's an easy guess. I'm clearly an annoying person. I have problems with both genders."

The "What the Heck?" Award - Amy in a Catholic school girl skirt and tie. Sometimes I'm not sure if she knows Sheldon at all.

Best Speech - Sheldon's "non-offensive" debunking of psychics



Elementary - 2.21 - The Man with the Twisted Lip

I'm officially tired of Mycroft. If having him back means Watson turns into an idiot, then no thanks. If it causes a rift between Sherlock and Watson all in the name of plot device, then forget it. Time for the next plot line. Here’s hoping that Mycroft's shady business all comes out in the next episode and Watson is recovered from the mob so we can get back to the business of keeping the world safer. Discord for the sake of discord does nothing for me. That said, it was cool to get Mrs. Hudson back and this episode's ending did a great job of raising the stakes on multiple levels. As for the crime of the week, to be honest, I forgot about it 2 days later and had to refresh my memory.

Grade: C-

Best Scene - Watson kidnapped

Best Quote - Gregson: "So you went looking for a missing person, and you came back with a cell full of heroin dealers."

Best Reaction - Sherlock's utter lack of enthusiasm at Mycroft being back

Most Bizarre - Blackmail by cue card. I love it.

The "It's About Time" Award - I am surprised Watson hasn't moved out well before this. I could only take so much time with Sherlock and then I'd need a break.

Worst Plan - Watson dating Mycroft. There is ZERO upside to this at all. In fact, it screams of future annoyance. Even if his brother wasn't Sherlock, this is just wrong to date your co-worker/friend/roommate's brother.

The "What the Heck!" Award - Sherlock hides heroin in his house. Are you kidding me? NO! I like that Sherlock is an addict but I don't want to watch him succumb. Time for an intervention. Where exactly is his sponsor again? He's been MIA.

Best New Job Potential - Watson. If she ever stops consulting with the police, she can make it as a professional thief. She pickpockets someone's id badge, picks locks, breaks into safes, and cons people into giving her access. She might as well partner with Mozzie and take the New York crime scene by storm.

Most Shady - Mycroft. Who was he talking to on the phone earlier? Why does he want Sherlock back in London? How far is he willing to go to get him out of New York? Who is he working with and what are their nefarious plans?

Dumbest Crime - illegal black market candy contraband. That's really a thing? Why?

The "See What Happens When They Put the Main Female Character in a Love Plot" Award - It always turns them stupid. What the heck! Watson knows better than to tail a known French mobster on her own. She just confronted Sherlock about being equally reckless and stupid on the anthrax case.

Best Reference - Sherlock subtly refers to Moriarty. I can't wait until she comes back.



Grimm - 3.19 - Nobody Knows the Trubel I've Seen

Grade: B+

Best Scene - Teen Grimm finds out the truth about Wesen

Best Character Interaction - Nick and Teen Grimm

Best Action - Teen Grimm vs. Skalengeck

The "Yeah, You Thought It Too" Award - When Hank picks up the French fry and starts talking about it, I thought he was going to eat it, not use it as evidence and send Wu on a fry hunt

Best Self-Preservation - Monroe refuses to get in the back seat with Teen Grimm / Teen Grimm won't go into Aunt Marie's trailer

The "Hmmm" Award - the two Wesen who attack Teen Grimm don't react at all when they look into her eyes, which should be when they figure out she's a Grimm

The "You Couldn't Have Waited a Little Longer?" Award - Hank pulls Teen Grimm off of Nick way too early. She was pounding him pretty well and I still haven't forgiven the Grimm Gang for the Wu debacle.

Dumbest Recapitation Yet - going way back to the pilot, they show Nick rubbing wolfsbane on Hank's jacket for absolutely NO reason. Pure filler and bad filler at that.

Thank Goodness Award - Adalind says she's done crying. Good. I can't handle feeling sympathetic towards her for more than 2 minutes at a time. Go back to being the woman I root against please.

Most Gratuitous - 2 Teen Grimm shower scenes, neither of which seemed to have any purpose

Biggest Bwah! - Nick face palms Teen Grimm. It must be the Grimm version of a Gibbs slap.

The "Ha! I See What You Did There" Award - Teen Grimm's mug shot says T. Rubel, giving her the nickname Trouble.



Screencaps by Zap2It, SciFi Mafia, Screenrant, NBC, TV Line, Subscene, TV Ninja, Horror News, FB, AMC TV, Vimeo, Forever Young Adult, SciFi Empire, FOX, Comic Book, TV.com,

Graceland premieres Wednesday, June 11 on USA Network at 10/9 C.


When we last left off, Briggs found a way out from being charged with the murder of an FBI agent and pinned the Odin tag on another drug dealer. He's crafty that way, but all is not well. The experience has left him with nightmares and a tape that would re-implicate him is on the loose. Things look far better for Mike, who was re-assigned to Washington, D.C. as assistant to the deputy director. He's the latest agency hotshot. His dreams of running the FBI are getting closer, but first he needs another major win to convince the boss to finance an investigation he believes could stop massive amounts of heroin from entering the country. Graceland is far behind him until Briggs brings him back in with news that the Kaza cartel has a hit out for his alias, Mike the Marine. The info startles him, but Briggs sells him on the positives. Briggs: "I mean trust me. Just come out for a long weekend - 3, 4 days max. We'll squeeze in some surfing, destroy a billion dollar cartel, and restore our legend status at bureau. I mean who doesn't need a win." Mike calls him on not caring about what the FBI thinks, but Briggs needs this as much as Mike, given his tarnished reputation. In the end, Mike agrees. I'm guessing he'll be there for more than a few days unless this turns into 24.


Back at Graceland, things are different. There are gun games downstairs, a relaxed attitude, and Jakes is actually friendly. Like really friendly. It's weird. Also weird is seeing another agent in the mix. Zelanski is new DEA, who has already earned an unfortunate nickname. Probably the biggest change though is in Briggs, who is now far more serious and doesn't seem to drink at all. He's also sleeping with Charlie. I'm guessing all is forgiven there….well, until she learns the truth. Then it really will be entropy. And hell. For everyone. About the only who seems less happy than last season is Johnny, who is having an identity crisis. Poor baby. He's my favorite for now, although it changes weekly. Johnny's still loyal though and he makes a great right hand for Briggs. Less awesome is Mike who has turned into a douche and a reckless one at that. Of course since they can't take down a billion dollar cartel in the first episode, the mission goes sideways and one member is left fighting for their life. Overall this was a good way to jump start a new storyline and reunite the cast. I enjoy the changes that have been made in their lives over the past few months and I look forward to seeing them try to work together again. Graceland was always the strongest when they worked together and this season promises to be a lot of that.


Grade: B

Best Scene - Paige and Mike talk by the campfire

Best Quote - Mike: "We still going to be surfing by noon?" Briggs: "Probably not."

Best Twist - how everyone is reunited

Best Reason to Watch- seeing how all the Graceland residents have changed in the fallout

Smartest Plan - newbies, who didn't just surprise me

Motto - Find the Line

Best Reaction - everyone's lack of enthusiasm for the final announcement

Most Interesting Sub-Story - Jakes


Catch the all new season of Graceland on USA Network on June 11 at 10/9C.   Check out season 1 at www.usanetwork.com/Graceland to catch up on any episodes you missed beforehand.


Screencaps by SpoilerTV

A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team this past week. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off below the article.



The 100:

1. Jaha: "God speed, my friends. God speed." Abby: "Thelonious, where are you?" Jaha: "Right where I'm supposed to be. Hold on tight, Abby. You'll see your daughter soon….and I'll see my son." (Dahne)

2. Bellamy: "Can't run away fast enough, huh? Real brave." Finn: "Dying in a fight you can't win isn't brave, Bellamy. It's stupid." (Dahne)



Beauty and the Beast:

Vincent: "I don't know. I can't believe we're like back where we started. Me hiding in shadows, you hiding me." Cat: "At least it's romantic. Stolen moments, secret love." Vincent: "Still, it's no future and I think we deserve a future." Cat: "We'll have one, I promise. Together." (Virginia Fontana and Tonya Papanikolas)



Devious Maids:

Marisol: "He has to have surgery tomorrow." Zoila: "Is he going to be okay?" Marisol: "There’s chance he could die. And he asked me to marry him." Carmen: "Obiously. You’re engaged." Marisol: "No, he wants to get married before the surgery." Zoila: "Tomorrow? What did you say?" Marisol: "What do you think I said? He’s lying there with a bruised face and tubes sticking out of his arms." Rosie: "I give up. What did you say?" MarisoI: "…I said yes." (Sammy Bgs) ~Haha, Rosie is awesome.



Fargo:

1. Lorne Malvo - "Aces!"(Max Conte)

2. Lorne: "Lester, is this what you want? ... Yes or no?" Lester: "Yes." Lorne [After killing three people]: "That's on you." (Sharon Seymour)

 

Graceland:

1. Briggs: "These guys are late." Mike: "I expect a certain level of professionalism in my professional assassins." (Dahne)

2. Paige: "Ah, so you're back here to try to make yourself a rock star again. This world has enough dead rock stars, Mike. Briggs is just trying to make sure you're not one of them." (Dahne)



Orange is the New Black:

Nicky - "I'm all about giving. I'm like a bean-flicking Mother Teresa." (Max Conte)





Orphan Black:

1. Helena - "If you touch her a again, I will gut you like a fish." (Jimmy Ryan)

2. Donnie - "Smile. Have a shitty day". (Jimmy Ryan)



Veep:

Jonah - "Oh, mom! You are so annoying! How do you not just punch yourself in the face?" (Max Conte)

Note - I generally do recaps instead of reviews so I'm getting my feet wet here. I will likely change formats throughout until I find something that works. Please let me know what you like about other reviews. Do you prefer more of an episode recap that goes over each segment of the plot? Would you rather talk about characters more? Are you more interested in writer impressions and/or theories so you can debate them in the comments section? I have perused a variety of reviews on SpoilerTV and they all are slightly different. What would you most like to see in these Graceland reviews?


Review:

Jumpstarting a brand new season when most of the loose ends have been wrapped up in the finale of the previous one is not easy, especially when the main character is all the way across the country by the end. To reunite the team and create enough mystery to get the audience involved and wanting more sometimes requires too much suspension of disbelief. For the most part, Graceland did a great job of this. It makes sense that Mike would come back to play bait after a Kaza hit is placed on him. What makes less sense is Mike's rapid ascension up the FBI corporate ladder or why the people who kidnapped him went about it in such a meandering way. Surely Mike didn't use his Marine alias when heading up the bus operation, so they know who he really is. This approach feels far too random. Still it gets the main characters reunited and by using a time jump, the aftereffects of season 1 can be keenly realized. Everyone has changed, which is startling at first. Jakes is much friendlier, Johnny more lost, and Charlie and Briggs have rekindled their relationship. The dynamics of the entire house seem less formal and there is far less tension, but things seem off and not just to Mike. There's an underlying atmosphere that feels stagnant and a little lost. Frankly, the change is the best part of the episode. The plot line worked as well leading up to the big twist that Mike will be the one in charge this season. From the reactions of the other characters, they are less than thrilled by this turn of events which should increase the tension at Graceland exponentially.


What worked:

For me, the best part about the season 2 premiere was character change. With the exception of Paige, whom we never really got to know in season 1, everyone is different. By plunking Mike back into the house after a significant time jump, we see the changes as abruptly as he does and it gives the character arcs a lot of wiggle room, making for an interesting springboard into season 2. The biggest punch came in the following dialogue: Wayne: "You know Briggs. Never any time to party." Mike laughs: "Right. You're talking about Paul Briggs." Johnny: "It's a new day, son." I love how Briggs has changed the most. It makes a lot of sense given that he shot an FBI agent while drinking. Adding that little moment in which Briggs turns down the beer in favor of water subtly showed how seriously he is taking these new changes. I thought the nightmare scene was poignant as well, assuring the audience that Briggs is indeed suffering at least mentally with his actions. I look forward to exploring this new Briggs, who hesitates at putting a colleague in danger and doesn't play around with his roommates anymore. He feels like an almost new, more thoughtful character even as he looks and sounds the same. Jakes' character changes also work well in this episode. I like this new, more open façade even while he remains close to the vest. I still haven't decided if the more laid back approach is designed to keep people from prying too much into his life or if he is indeed a happier man now that his son is in his life. Adding the scene where he buys a house for his son and him was very intriguing and the best subplot of the night. Seeing how he juggles his weird hours and fatherhood will give him more storyline than all of season 1. More importantly, does this signal his intention to leave Graceland? I certainly hope not but it would solve the problem of not having enough rooms in the house now that Mike is back.

Speaking of, I really, really like how Mike's new job is not all roses and that his star is shining a bit dimmer now. I understand that the show is about the rise of the golden boy, but that storyline only makes me root against the character. By showing that Mike is eager to prove himself again, it makes the reunion storyline more plausible and makes me eye roll less with his overall douchiness. The fact that Paige calls him on it is even better. While a tiny part of the overall story, I thought that their conversation around the campfire helped build sympathy for Mike and is the best scene with Paige in a long time. I like that it was just the two of them, so they could hit the hard truths quickly. I like that they did not sleep together even more. While Briggs and Charlie sleeping together will create a massive turning point for Charlie when she finds out the truth about Briggs' involvement in Badillo's murder, I can't see any real character growth that comes from Mike and Paige shacking up. Best to leave out that distraction then.

As far as the plot is concerned, bringing the Kaza cartel back into motion was a great plan. Even though it didn't turn out to be them, it made Mike's return far more plausible. It's also a personal issue with Briggs, which gives the episode a bit more punch. To be honest, I was a little worried about how they were going to reunite Mike with the rest of the group since Jeff Eastin (show runner) doesn't always have a great track record for resolving big cliffhangers. Many times his solution to get things back on track on White Collar strained all credulity. This one made sense. Best of all, having Mike be the team leader in an 8-week operation, inspired the best reaction shots of the episode. It's hard to explain just how underwhelmed the Graceland crew feels to be working for Mike. I hope it becomes a major issue for him because it should. Having the rookie suddenly assume control ought to create a lot of tension in the house, especially since Mike seems to have little tact. I for one hope Johnny gets that swing in sometime this season. Mike's crack about them being burnouts was highly uncalled for. Other great plot points include the newbie kidnappers using the dogfight as cover to kidnap Mike and Mike subsequently head butting the kidnapper mid-torture. I can't wait to see the twist Eastin has in store for us with those 2 clowns. They were far too stupid to have organized the snatch so there are much larger conspiracies at play here and Graceland is known for its great twists.


What Didn't Work:

For a large part, Mike did not work for me. While I get that he wants to stay the FBI's shining star, he is far too douchey and demanding for the dynamics of the house. I know that this will be used to create conflict, but generally it's nice not to hate the main character. They need to tone him down and humble him a bit sooner rather than later. Here's hoping that Briggs and Johnny are the ones to do it. I'm not sure that making Mike more like Briggs and Briggs more like FBI leadership is a sustainable switch. I'm also not a fan of Johnny in his current state. It feels like he has devolved instead of evolved at this juncture. Since he was my favorite character by the end of last season, I was hoping for a bit more of his family first attitude and less woe is me. I look forward to seeing an episode where he can shine as well. As for Charlie, she was largely absent in the main plot points, which is always a mistake. I'd like to see more of her hunting down the truth, even if I will not like the end result of it. Still the most irksome part of the episode was the new guy's background. I really, really did not need to know about how he got his nickname. In fact, it makes me wonder if this guy is qualified to be in Graceland at all. Overall I thought the character was a bit bland but harmless. Time will tell whether he ends up being important or just another red shirt. The other thing that bothered me was the guns downstairs. It wasn't because of the atmosphere shock like it was for Mike. More that it made the group look inept and that's not allowed. Here they are on the beachfront with a million windows around them and they're showing off their weaponry. Not a great way to stay inconspicuous, guys. I get what the writers were trying to do, but it fell flat and I cannot follow still another set of incompetent professionals on TV. There are far too many of them already.


Hopes for the New Season:

1. I would like to learn more about Charlie's undercover job as a tattoo artist. She's bound to hear a lot of pertinent information and those cases might actually be more interesting than passenger bus activities.

2. Paige and Jakes need to have actual storylines. While we have a hint of where Jakes' character arc is going, it feels like Paige still has nothing really to do than be the second female. She deserves better than that so I would like to see her take a key position in this sting. I'd also like to see Jakes interact with his son and perhaps get some back story on how he got visiting rights. His job is dangerous so I can see some hesitation in allowing his son to visit him. What I absolutely DO NOT want though is another tiresome cliffhanger where the bad guys take the cop's son as leverage. That's stale police procedural stuff that has no business in the Graceland mytharc.

3. Johnny needs to take Mike down a notch. He just does.

4. The season itself will be as full of plausible twists as the first season was. This show knows how to end well each episode and that got me through some of the leaner times last season. Now it's time to show exactly what kind of twisty, suspenseful writing they have proven they can do. Basically I hope this season is as tight as the last one because it rocked.


Grade and Episode Awards:


Grade: B

Best Scene - Paige and Mike talk by the campfire about why he's being such a douche

Best Quote - Mike: "We still going to be surfing by noon?" Briggs: "Probably not."

Best Twist - how everyone is reunited

Best Reason to Watch- seeing how all the Graceland residents have changed in the fallout

Smartest Plan - newbie kidnappers, who didn't just surprise me. Mixing a kidnapping with the dog fighting raid is brilliant.

Most Accurate Contact List - Leon lists the assassins under Kill Boys. At least it's clear.

Most Interesting Sub-Story - Jakes buys a house so he can be with his son

Biggest Promotion - Mike, who went from rookie to Special Assistant to the Director to Graceland lead in a few short months. Kind of stretches credibility.

Best Gesture - Briggs does a sarcastic salute to the criminal that blew his plan. I didn't even know sarcastic salute existed.

Motto - Find the Line, proving that Mike's hunch was right

Most Brutal - dry boarding interrogation

Best Return to TV - Mike's new girlfriend, Jessica, is Audrey on Haven

The "What the Heck?" Award - When Leon pulls a gun on Briggs, Mike looks incredibly nonchalant about it. If he were a real arms dealer, he would have brought out a gun immediately and asked what's going on. Waiting so long should be highly suspicious to Leon.

Best Foreshadowing - Charlie watches over Juan Badillo's family and is obviously not done with the case

Most Likely to Go South Quickly - Charlie and Briggs' relationship, which is based partly on lies and guilt

Best Reaction - everyone's lack of enthusiasm when Mike says he's their boss for 8 weeks










Other Great Quotes:

Jakes: "You choose to greet Levi. I choose to be a champion. Another poor life choice John boy."
Mike: "What the hell happened to you man?" Jakes: "What? A man can't be happy?" Johnny: "He's been like this for a couple months. It's weird, huh?"
Briggs: "You know today should go well. We stage at 9, meet Leon at 10, bad guys go to jail at 11. We should be riding the waves by noon." Charlie: "Got to respect that confidence."
Briggs: "If we don't control the time or place of the meet, I can't guarantee your safety, Mike." Mike: "My safety?" Briggs: "Yeah." Mike: "Since when are you concerned about my safety? Used to be you'd march me to the gates of hell if it meant a shot at the Kaza cartel."
Johnny: "Can I hit him?" Briggs: "No Johnny, you can't. I'm calling the operation, Mike. It's off. I'm sorry you wasted a first class ticket out here. I hope you didn't wrinkle your suit."
Paige: "So DC kind of turned you into an a**hole, huh?"
Paige: "Ah, so you're back here to try to make yourself a rock star again. This world has enough dead rock stars, Mike. Briggs is just trying to make sure you're not one of them."
Briggs: "Hmm. Looks like Kaza's got a new interrogation method. Cheaper than water boarding without all the mess."
Briggs: "These guys are late." Mike: "I expect a certain level of professionalism in my professional assassins."

If last week was the set up to this season's mythology, this episode is all about tearing the characters down hopefully to build them back up. Graceland continues to spotlight the aftereffects of season 1 on the characters, showcasing Charlie and Jakes this time as one tries to move on and the other can't let go. They both have powerful scenes because of it. Paige, on the other hand, still gets shafted. She's the lead of the B plot but in many ways she's treated more as eye candy than any real character growth. Her character is still a mystery to me. I like that she's shown kicking butt twice but anyone hoping that Serinda Swan gets much to do this episode will be disappointed. Besides Zeke who continues to be completely pointless (as in "perhaps the actor's related to the showrunnner and needs a job" pointless), Johnny gets the least screen time. However what he has is dynamic. His scene with Jakes is particularly poignant, but it's the final cliffhanger which makes me suspect that Johnny is about to take a leap forward as a character. It's what I am most looking forward to next week in all honesty. Definitely more than anything with Mike, who remains a self-involved schmuck who only increases his douchiness as the episode progresses. At this point, I'm kind of hoping he gets kidnapped again but the others can't rescue him until the 8th episode. They have to make him less annoying soon, or beat the tar out of him. Either one. Briggs, as usual, gets the lion's share of the character interaction, including a surprise new subplot I did not suspect. While I am all for sharing screen time more evenly among the characters, he is the catalyst to much of the drama and best scenes and as such, none of them feel like filler. Sadly, that cannot be said of the whole episode.

As the episode starts, the case is at a standstill. No one can determine who Mike's kidnappers were and therefore there are no leads on who they worked for. Briggs, in a desperate move to get back into the FBI's good graces, gambles by having his former contacts get him in touch with the Caza cartel in hopes of meeting with their higher ups. He wants to trade information for getting the FBI to back off their all out attack on the cartel. It's a bad plan made worse when it actually works. He decides to meet with the cartel leaders in Mexico. While Briggs informs Mike, who is all for anything that will help him score a win, they don't tell Charlie. Another bad plan. Trust me. The secret doesn't stay hidden for long and she is in fine form to ream them both for being reckless. I don't blame her. Meanwhile Mike's announcement that all the Graceland occupants must stop what they are doing immediately to help him leaves Paige in a bind. She's in the middle of a 4 month sting that is finally making progress and she's not handing it over. Mike is not the least bit sympathetic but he does agree to help over her protests. Luckily he's got resources she does not. It leads to one of the funnier moments of the episode, but other than that, there's not much meat on this case. It's your standard buy takedown. Overall this episode focuses on the characters and has very little forward movement on the plot, even less action. It does however have the trademark twists, some seen from miles away but others very much a surprise. While I liked much of the episode, it did drag a bit in the middle for me, mostly because I am a plot-driven viewer. If you are more into characters, you'll probably like this one better than the premiere.


Grade: B-

Best Scene - As far as most plot intense, Briggs's conversation with the Caza leader. As far as character growth, either Jakes or Charlie's big scene

Best Quote - Johnny: "You want a hug?"

Best Reason to Watch - character development

Biggest Shock - Charlie

Least Shocking - Jakes, but it doesn't make it any less painful

Best Character Interaction - Johnny and Jakes

Biggest Risk - Briggs goes to meet with the Caza cartel leadership by himself to get answers about the hit on Mike. I know Briggs thinks he's invincible but this is not a good plan.

Best Death Stare - Charlie and she wields it liberally this episode.

Weirdest Line Possibly in the History of TV - "Now I'm frisking goats." What?

Most Angsty - Charlie, who has a major scene with Briggs

Biggest Douche - Mike. Still.

Biggest Screw You - Jakes to Briggs

Biggest Disappointment / Most Likely to be Labeled Eye Candy - Paige. They have her undressed several times this episode and we still get no character motivation or growth for her. Right now she's as useless as Zeke and this was her big episode.

Least Sympathetic - Charlie: "You're fine. You've been stabbed 5 times. You'll live. Sonya, give this man a tampon and uh, I don't know…hold his hand."

Worst Subplot - the freaking tape. Until it becomes an issue for Briggs, I don't care what's going on with it.

Most Surprising Subplot - Kelly, who could be great character growth or a predictable plot device

The "Oh Poor Baby" Award - Jakes, who gets hit hard this episode

Best New Character - Caza cartel boss

Most Disgusting - Gum sharing. Yuck!


Other Quotes -

"I'd like to do more background.""You've got this face. What more do you need?"
"I'm starting to realize that there's no such as a do-over. Not for you, me, or anybody."
"Is the door still on its hinges?""More or less."
"Jangles, Cortes, whatever his name is, he didn't kill Juan. I did."
"…listen to me okay? As your friend, huh? You've got to let this go. It's going to drag you down. Trust me; I know."
"Oh, oh, we're talking about trust now. Really? You?......."
"Remember, Francis looks hungry.""Zelanski's hungry."
"What? When did this happen?""Probably when none of you were looking."
"What the hell is this?""A messed up sense of humor."
"Yeah, I pretty much keep to myself. I don't really talk much you know. They say your heart will tell you when the time is right. I've been listening to mine but so far, crickets."
"You got a plan? Well that's a first…."
"…your man held a gun to my head, hooked me on heroin, forced me to give up my friends and then killed them.""There was that."
"You're wasting yourself with Finch. You know that right?""My mom said it takes all kinds.""She was an idiot too."

Welcome back to Last Week in TV. Vacation is now over and it's time to get back to work. Because I am still not caught up on my shows, this week's column will primarily focus on all the new pilots that have come out since I left for Europe. Man was there a lot of original TV in those weeks. If I missed a pilot, please let me know. I tried to get everything that wasn't reality TV covered. I'll also be working on covering the recurring shows I've missed as I go, so please be patient with me. Summer is usually a downtime in TV but lately it has become just as busy as fall. I counted 46 new or recurring shows I watch coming out this summer. Remember when summer TV was a vast wasteland? Well friends, it is no more.

As always I have a nominated show that I watched. This time it was Penny Dreadful, which was much better than I ever expected. I've also added a section for shows that I have marathoned. I will try to talk about a different show each week in this category. Also for now, because I have seen very little of shows that actually aired last week, I have dispensed of the overall awards. As I get caught up, I will reinstate it but I feel funny saying the best show of the week is The 100 finale when it aired 12 days ago. Until next week, please nominate any show you would like me to watch or marathon and happy TV viewing.

Note - Shameless plugs here. I am getting ready to start the Buffy Roundtable back up as a podcast so if anyone wants to join and has Skype, please let me know in the comments below. Also if you watch Teen Wolf and have Twitter, check out my live tweets during the premiere tonight. We have a great time live tweeting that show. Finally, I am happy to say that I am going to bring the Character Cup back to SpoilerTV, timing to be determined soon. I've missed running a big contest this summer since it is the first time I am not doing one for Sueprnatural. Details to follow so be ready to nominate your favorite characters. It's going to be a blast.




Nominated Show:

Penny Dreadful - 1.01 - Pilot

I tried watching Penny Dreadful when it first came out but I couldn't get past the part with the spider crawling on the praying lady. I don't do spiders. But for this nomination, I soldiered on with hand firmly in front of my eyes during the opening credits and the spider scene. I am so glad I did. If their intention was to creep me out, they succeeded in the first 5 minutes. Even better, they hooked me on the mythology and made me interested in the mysterious characters. It's like watching an old pulp novel come to life, hence the name. While I could do without the bugs, full frontal nudity, and other pay cable affinities, I do like the story and that's what will have me coming back to the next episode. Finally a Showtime series I can actually enjoy.

Grade: A-
Ranking: 5

Best Scene - when Sir Malcolm, Vanessa, and Ethan confront the vampire

Most Touching Scene - surprisingly it is when Frankenstein and the man he resurrected first see each other

Best Quote - Ethan: "Just know that you have made my visit here truly memorable. I shall never forget you." Woman: "Perhaps you'd like to know my name then."

Best Reason to Watch - the well played story of a missing daughter in the land of the supernatural

The "When the Lights Flicker, It's Time to Run" Award - Seriously Sir Malcolm, you need to not go chasing after ghosts on the wind when the lights flicker. You need to run and call the Winchesters.

Coolest Character - Vanessa, who walks between while a fight progresses without so much as blinking, proceeds to walk through a bloody corpse dump with clinical detachment, and is able to stop a head vampire in its tracks

Biggest Mystery - What does Vanessa have to do with Sir Malcolm's daughter becoming a vampire?

Best Vocabulary - It's not every show that can use the words peripatetic and solipsistic in a sentence.

Least Surprising - the Egyptian Book of the Dead is involved

Best Sherlock Holmes Imitation - Vanessa, who not only deduces that Ethan is a fraud but proceeds to tear him down one article of clothing at a time

Most Interesting Take on Vampires - they are like insects with exoskeletons

Best Hair - Mr. Lyle, who looks remarkably like a munchkin from The Wizard of Oz

Biggest Hmmm - I am not clear why Ethan changed his mind and freaked out when he saw Sir Malcolm come home. What was that all about?

Most Insane - Let's face it. Any of these characters qualify, but after that science speech, Frankenstein wins



Marathoned Show:

Major Crimes

Major Crimes is one of those shows that I can watch a couple of episodes here and there and not feel like I have to see every episode. However there was always one thing watching that way that bugged me, Randy's story line. I never had a clue about where he came from or what exactly his story was. Therefore before the current season premiered, I decided to get caught up. Little did I know that I would have to go back to The Closer finale to understand. Overall I found it to be your typical police procedural with a great lead in Mary McDonnell as Captain Sharon Raydor. She is the show, although the cast members who continued on from The Closer like Provenza are equally fun to watch. It's her relationship with Rusty that sticks out and makes for the most memorable part of the series. To watch them go from antagonists to mother and son was fascinating. She has more patience in one finger than I have altogether. Of course that's a necessary quality for someone who is hired to plea bargain criminals down to save the state money. Say what? Yep, this show is all about the cops trying to get criminals a lesser sentence. No need for defense lawyers here. It actually bugs me more than I like to admit because darn it, the bad guys are supposed to have a trial and get locked up for life. Expenses be damned. Many times I find myself agreeing with Provenza, who thinks he's too old for this bargaining junk. Budget cuts shouldn't affect the bottom line when it comes to justice. The biggest problem I have though is not the shifty politics but how often they allow Rusty to see things that should be kept private. Seriously, the FBI comes in on a case that is top secret, that they've made a big deal out of how secret it is, and nobody bothers to tell the non-cop teen in the room to head somewhere else? That makes no sense whatsoever. I don't care if the case is supposed to connect to Rusty on a personal level or not. That's so unprofessional. Other than that, most of Major Crimes is a fun way to spend a few hours without having to concentrate too hard. If you like police procedurals, check it out. If you don't, skip it.

Grade: B-

Best Character - Provenza

Best Character Interaction - Sharon and Rusty

Best Reason to Watch - It's a police procedural in which you get to see the character's home lives a bit too. Plus the mother-son relationship between Sharon and Rusty is rewarding on its own.

Best Reason to Skip - It’s a police procedural in all the typical ways. If that's not for you, don't bother. There is a serialized element running throughout the entire series with Rusty's case, but there's not enough each episode to keep non-procedural types tuned in.

Best Episode (Serialized) - Return to Sender, both parts. This wraps up the Philip Stroh storyline that started in The Closer and finally ends Rusty's role as a trial witness.

Best Episode (One-Off) - Dismissed with Prejudice, in which Tao re-examines an old case

Most Fun Episode - I, Witness, in which a brain dead witness becomes a suspect in a murder case right before having to testify

The "If You Only Watch One Episode…" Award / Best Guest Cast - There's No Place Like Home, which guest starred Tim Conway. Paul Dooley, Ron Glass, Doris Roberts, and Marion Ross. What a fun group!



New Shows:


Halt and Catch Fire - 1.01 - Pilot

Surprisingly, the corporate politics of pre-Silicon Valley are pretty gripping. I'm not sure how long that can last because there were plenty of dry spells in the pilot, but once they started figuring out how the IBM processor worked and Joe showed his hand to IBM, the episode picked up. They are going to have to make the main characters a bit more sympathetic to keep my interest, given that Donna is the only one I actually like, but they have a great start. If the summer was mostly dry spell like previous years, this would get 3 episodes from me to see if it keeps momentum. However with the plethora of new shows out this summer, I'm playing the waiting game with this one to see if there's room on my TV schedule after I test the other pilots.

Grade: B
Ranking: 3

Best Scene - Gordon and Joe reverse engineer the processor

Best Awww Moment - Donna tells Gordon to build the machine he's dreaming of but to stay connected to his family

Best Quote - Cardiff: "Listen to me boy. You listen to me. I admire your tenacity, but I draw the line at you claiming that you did me a favor. Don't screw this up 'cause in Texas, you put a man's livelihood on the line and you don't follow through, there's not going to be another new job 'cause ain't nobody's going to be able to find where you're buried."

Best Reason to Watch - looking in-depth at how the pieces of the computer work together

Welcome Back Award - Lee Pace, who is a long way from Ned of Pushing Daisies

Most Manipulative - Joe McMillan

The "Eeewww" Award - The drunk drops his bagel on the road and then eats it. Nothing's that good, buddy.

The "Something's Never Change" Award - It was just as difficult to get to the inner working of toys in the 80's as they are now. Christmas is one long disassembly line at my house.

Worst Spouse - Gordon, whose own self-interest and lack of confidence, makes him the ultimate schlub

Worst Plan - Playing baseball inside your new apartment

Least Effective Interview - When the guy asking the questions is shaking his head no to coach you on what the answers are, the legitimacy of the interview is severely in quesiton.

Most Nostalgic - the huge, book sized floppy disk. I remember our first computer had those.

The "You Know You're Screwed When…" Award - You find your former schlub of a husband making dinner and playing with the kids. Just wait for the other shoe to drop.



Murder in the First - 1.01 - Pilot

There's not much to distinguish Murder in the First from half a dozen other crime shows, with the exceptions of the actors, the serial nature of the show, and the fact that the lead detective's wife died of cancer and not foul play. I'm intrigued by the actors but not enough to make this weekly viewing in an increasingly busy summer lineup. The wife dying actually backfired as a plot device for me. I am guessing they wanted us to feel instantly connected to Terry's character but I found his still being at work suspect, no matter what his wife told him. It makes me less sympathetic to him and smacks of emotional manipulation on the writers' part. My guess is that since they have done such a superb job of making Erich look sociopathic that he's being framed, which lessens the mystery as well. Instead of wondering who would want to frame him, I'm stuck asking who would not?

Grade: C-
Ranking: 1

Best Scene - Erich vs. Jeremy

Biggest Aww Scene - Terry tells his wife he is scared of her dying

Best Quote - David: "Junkies with iPads and we're still using Palm Pilots." / Jim: "How many bird tattoos?" Hildy: 215." Navarro: "It's a freaking Audubon Society out there."

Best Reason to Watch - the actors

Best Character Quirk - Terry has a fear of roller coasters

Most Likely to be Murdered (in the first) - If my ex-husband woke me up in the morning, he wouldn't have to worry about anything else again. Ever.

The "Well Welcome to My TV" Award - Tom Delton of Draco Malfoy fame . This show has just gotten more interesting now that you're here. And hey, look. You've brought along Richard Schiff from The West Wing. Yep, definitely more interesting.

The "Did Someone Really Write This?" Award - Erich: "Yeah well if I wasn't crazy I think I'd go insane." Careful writers, you're pushing Black Box levels here.

Best reaction - Erich looks at a paper copy of the e-mail like it's a foreign object.

Biggest Douche - It's hard to top Erich here. Second place would be harder to define.

The "Are You Kidding Me?" Award - the two lead detectives threaten 2 elementary school kids with San Quentin and say they kill kids there. Are you kidding me? You don't have to threaten their lives to get kids to talk. You two suck even more. Jerks!

Most Pointless Declaration - David stands up to announce he's on the cleanse. Seriously buddy, no one cares.

Weirdest Cliffhanger - The lead cop's wife died (I presume), but we haven't had enough time to care about this character for it to really register. I figured she would die about 3 episodes later to establish his character better.

Best Laugh - After Erich threatens to kill Jeremy and storms off, his lawyer asks Jeremy's lawyer if they validate parking



Night Shift - 1.01 - Pilot

No lie. I am the biggest wuss when it comes to watching medical procedures. I also hate most medical shows because all of the doctors are neurotic and the shows seem to spend more time on how messed up the doctors are than on any actual hospital storyline. Plus they hop in and out of each others' beds like horny rabbits. TV medical drama these days is basically just nighttime soap in a hospital setting. Talking to you, Grey's Anatomy. Therefore I came into this pilot with a rather ho hum attitude. In the end, I liked it much better than I thought I would simply because of all the added humor. This is the sort of show that needs to not take itself too seriously and they managed to find that fine line between quirky and incompetent. If they can continue to make that work, then they have a shot at decent summer TV fare. Sadly it did fall into several pitfalls that most medical dramas do including that the main character is a walking disaster that probably should be under psychiatric care instead of wielding a scalpel. Plus the bed hopping is already starting. Still this one was decent enough to earn a 3 episode watch from me.

Grade: B+
Ranking: 4

Best Scene - the little boy wakes up and moves his fingers

Biggest Awww Scene - Landry tells a kid that the accident that hurt his little brother is not his fault

Best Quote -

Best Reason to Watch - the show so far doesn't take itself too seriously and the added bits of humor make this one of the more watchable hospital drama pilots thus far

Biggest Shock - Ragosa comes in with the medical knowledge to keep the kid from being paralyzed

The Nuttiest Plot - This show is wild on the wacky, but the craziest thing would have to be the intern going on a date with the plastic surgeon so he will give free lipo to the technician so that an uninsured girl can get a scan done. Huh? I'm confused even after typing that out.

Most Intriguing Opening - I'm not sure I would make my crash pad a jail cell. It doesn't sound comfortable.

The "Welcome Back to My TV" Award - Brendan Fehr, who played my favorite character on Roswell, and Jill Flint, formerly from Royal Pains.

Saddest Statement on Health Care - the hospital janitor does not have health insurance for his kid

Best Entrance / Best Save - Dr. Drew puts a choke hold on a bully and puts him completely out

Biggest Schmuck / Best Twist - Ragosa, who is portrayed like your stereotypical, power driven, non-sympathetic bureaucrat who hampers the rules-thwarting doctors who care too much. Then they do a 180 and suddenly he's a full-fledged character as well. Bravo. I'm interested in his imminent blindness storyline and intrigued by his medical background.

The "Say What?" Award - What ambulance doesn't carry equipment to stabilize someone's head? This should not be a MacGyver moment.

Least Surprising - the body in the hearse is still alive. Called it the second they said it.

The "Gross but Somehow Sweet" Award - the scene in which Kara practices gagging to stay in the hospital at Kenny's suggestion made me a bit uncomfortable but I love how they thwart the rules

Facepalm Award - defibrillating the dead guy for practice

Most Awkward Meeting in a Mens' Room - Ragosa punches out TC and I cheer



Chasing Life - 1.01 - Pilot

Chasing Life started out great. April is charming, quirky, and has a refreshing sense of confidence about her without being too over the top or manipulative. The best friend is direct and wacky without being overbearing. In fact the only character that is irksome right now is the sister Brenna, who comes off as the worst of the teen brat clichés. I don't watch a lot of ABC Family so I don't know if that is typical or not. However the episode comes to a screeching halt the second April learns she has cancer. Wavering back and forth about telling her family and blowing off her uncle's insistence of tests made the episode feel about 3 times as long as it was. If they draw everything out like this, it won't matter how great a main character they have. Then they throw in melodramatic plot device #2 (right after love triangle) with the possibility of a heretofore unknown daughter. Urgh! That was completely not necessary unless this girl is going to become a donor of some kind. Given the strength of the beginning, I'm giving Chasing Life one more episode to see which way it is going to go. Let's hope it is more like the first half of the pilot than the latter.


Grade: B-
Ranking: 3+

Best Scene - Uncle George tells April she has cancer / April helps her mother get ready for her date

Best Quote - April: "Are you saying you'd blow off your dead grandmother for a story?" Danny: "Hell yeah."

Best Reason to Watch - April is an engaging character and most of her family dynamics work well

Most Manipulative - April, who tries to scam her way into an interview in multiple ways

Worst Date - taking a girl to a bar where the entertainment is someone playing a mangled version of Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star on the ukulele is probably not the way to get to a second date. And if it does, you may want to question that second date.

Best Reunion - Emma, the grandma, and George, the uncle, both starred on the 90's show, Wings

Saddest Quote - Danny: "My career's like my life." Oh buddy, then you need to get one.

Biggest Brat - Brenna. Yeah, I'm supposed to feel sorry for her because her dad died, but all I really want to do is smack her. She needs to become tolerable fast or else she may become the deal breaker that keeps me from watching this show.

Biggest Face Palm - April keeps putting off getting the tests done, which only makes things worse.

Biggest Cliff Hanger - some stranger brings April's dad's tombstone flowers and says it's her dad.



Crossbones - 1.01 - Devil's Dominion

With 7 minutes less of commercials, this is the longest pilot of the bunch. Yet I am still not sure what to make of it. I'm intrigued by the set-up of a spy being placed in the midst of a legendary pirate's grasp for more power. The performances ranged from mesmerizing to over the top, sometimes from the same actor. In many ways this reminds me of The Blacklist, a show precipitated on a single actor whose character goes from civil to lethal in a blink, even though I inevitably find something else more interesting about the episode. In this case it is the character of Lowe. Not only does Richard Coyle go toe to toe with John Malkovich, but he oft times comes out on top. It helps that his character is more fully formed and less of a caricature so far. I expect that will change as we learn more about Blackbeard's motives. Who is this dead woman he keeps seeing? What is his background? Is there something more to Jagger's past with him? What exactly is the relationship between Selima and him? Speaking of, I am not sure if Selima's motives are true. Is she a traitor to his cause? It definitely seems that she's keeping her new alliance from him, which makes her even more suspect. In some pilots, not knowing where the show is going is a reason for alarm, but here it makes me curious. Curious enough to stick through at least 3 episodes to see.


Grade: B+
Ranking: 4

Best Scene - Lowe and Blackbeard first meet. While each time they meet is dynamic, the first time is the most chilling because we get our first glimpse of how evil Blackbeard can be.

Best Quote - Blackbeard: "Not all those unflattering legends about me are untrue." / Charlie: "You believe there's a remedy for this man's condition." Lowe: "I do." Charlie: "Then I bow to your optimism."

Best Reason to Watch - questions about the alliance with Spain and Lowe's character

Best Plan - Instead of poisoning the drink, which he had to know would be risky, Lowe poisons the pages of the cipher book. Brilliant.

Most Intriguing - Lowe is by far more interesting to me right now that Blackbeard, even with his dead wife haunting him. I like Lowe's spy bit as it makes his job more complicated and his personality harder to judge.

The "Saved by the Shady Political Alliance" Award - Blackbeard owes his life to the envoy from Spain's dead of night shenanigans. Lucky fellow.

Best Alias - ship's doctor. If you can stomach all the nasty involved, it does make a great cover. All ships needed a medic, even pirates. He had a most useful job, so would less likely to be killed.

Best Summary - the opening voice over sets up the entire story concisely, cutting back on exposition and starting the story quickly. I'm not usually a fan of voice overs, but this one worked nicely.

The "You're Way Too Happy" Award - The doctor is way, way too happy about a pirate attack. I guess it's because he wants to join them. No, it's because he wants to prevent them from getting the device. Or maybe…yeah, I have no idea why he's so excited.

The "Well That's One Way to Cauterize a Wound" Award - Blackbeard's introduction is to slit a man's throat. Using gun powder and sparking it to stop the bleeding is a questionable way to ace your job interview.

Biggest Hmmm - I didn't know they had wheelchairs in Blackbeard's day. It shouldn't surprise me, but it kind of does.

The "At This Time, I'd Start Praying" Award - The guy's dead and your best hope for defense is Fletch. I'd say your position is quite precarious, Mr. Lowe.

Least Guarded Prison - If he's really that important, don't you think more than a padlock should keep him in. That's some pretty shoddy pirate work, Blackbeard, unless you think your reputation is supposed to stop him.

The "So You're Going as Pinhead" Award - I have to laugh at Blackbeard doing his best Halloween Pinhead interpretation. Acupuncture makes for a delightful screencap.



Faking It - 1.01 - Pilot

I think I'm too old for Faking It. I find Karma to be a complete brat and a self-absorbed jerk. I'm not sure why anyone is friends with her, much less wants to date her. In fact, the entire premise comes off as mocking to me and it makes me uncomfortable much in the same way that Johnny Knoxville will never, ever be funny. I'm also really sick and tired of Republicans as the enemy in every show. I'm not even a Republican and I'm tired of that stereotype. While there was some great referential dialogue and I find Amy's character to be intriguing, that doesn't outweigh the Karma and Shane Douche Duo 1-2 punch. Skipping this one.

Grade: D+
Ranking: 1

Best Scene - the one that happens next episode according to the previews. Seriously though, Amy telling Karma off in the locker room was the highlight.

Best Quote - Karma: "I'm just trying to get us into Shane Harvey's party tomorrow." Amy: "Why? We hate high school during the day. I doubt we'd like it better at night after it's been drinking." / Amy: "Thank God the voting age is 18. Teenagers are idiots."

Best Reason to Watch - Amy

Best Reason to Fast Forward - Karma, which is a problem because she's generally with Amy

Biggest Social Affliction - I thought the Raj not being able to talk to girls without alcohol in the early years of The Big Bang Theory was bad. Actually vomiting when a person of the opposite sex talks to you is far, far worse.

The "Say What?" Award - I wasn't aware that it was possible to come to the end of your Netflix queue. I thought it went on forever and 3 days after you died, someone would find your body by following the sounds of gunshots, laugh tracks, and weird sci fi beeps.

Most Awkward Exposition - Karma: "So, we live in Austin, a blue oasis in the red sea of Texas." Amy: "Yep, haven't forgotten." Karma: "And our high school's so tolerant and accepting, the outcasts are the in crowd." Did one character just tell another where they both live and what their high school is like? Is the second character suffering from amnesia? Ugh!

Biggest Douche - Shane, who edges out Lauren (the biggest witch). It is no one's right to "out" anyone. People come out when they are ready. Forcing someone to reveal a very personal part of themselves when they are not ready is the height of douchery, even in a comedy as vapid as this one.



Wil Wheaton Project - 1.01 - Pilot

I don't watch a lot of night time talk shows and even less sketch comedy, so this is a little out of my wheelhouse (plus SpoilerTV doesn't cover it). Mainly I tried this show out because I like Wil Wheaton. In a similar vein as Saturday Night Live, some sketches are here were internet-worthy and others needed the fast forward button. While I did laugh out loud several times, which is more than most comedies these days, most of the show felt like Wheaton was trying too hard. If he tones it down a bit and trusts that the audience will follow his joke, I think this could be a great comedy. I especially liked the bits about TV and even if you're not watching a particular show, the comedy for it is broad enough to spark laughs. If your into all things science fiction, fantasy, and horror, check it out and tell me what you think.

Grade: B-
Ranking: 3

Best Scene - John Malkovich being totally underwhelmed when promoting Crossbones

Best Quote - Wil: "Here at the Wil Wheaton Project we are going to bring you everything science fiction, fantasy, and horror from this past week, and I do mean everything…because who's going to stop us? Our network? They're too busy trying to figure out how to combine a shark and an earthquake. So let's get started before they realize what they've done."

Best Reason to Watch - The Walking Dead spoof title card and other TV jokes

Best Trailer - Wheaton's juiced up Gotham ad which mentions all the things it comes before

Best Moment - Wil Wheaton doing Frozen for Shawn Ashmore

Most Spot On - Billy Corrigan and Frankenstein's monster pictures

The "I Know They're Joking, But…" Award - The guy from Talking the Dead comes in to do a mid-episode recap show, which sounds ridiculous until you think about it. With all the recapitations they put into actual episodes these days, they might as well do a halfway through recap for the truly brain dead.

Most Disgusting - The Walking Dead title card sequence a la the 70's theme songs

Best Running Gag - Shawn Ashmore video clips throughout

The "It Baffles My Mind Too…" Award - Wil: "How do you screw up Dracula?" My theory is that the writers and showrunner were drinking the coolant.

Best Tag Line - WGN for people who don't know about the internet.

Most Incongruous - The bom-chicka-bow-wow music during a clip from Vikings

The "Yes, I Loved Star-Crossed, but That was Funny" Award - The clip where the guy gets on the walkie-talkie to talk to the person right next to him makes me giggle to.

The "Some Warning Please" Award - if you're going to show stupid human tricks and other gross stuff, please flash a warning first



Jennifer Falls - 1.01 - Pilot

I require two things out of my comedies - heart and laughs. Jennifer Falling has the heart down pat and they have the requisite quirky characters. The problem is that I didn't laugh much at all. I enjoyed it but there wasn't a whole lot to make it stick out from the crowd. I thought the acting was great and amazing beyond belief, Gretchen is no spoiled brat who makes me want to reach in the screen to slap her. More TV teens should be portrayed that way. Still, simply put, I don't have time in my TV schedule this summer although I might try this one again in the winter hiatus.

Grade: C+
Ranking: 3

Best Scene - sliding beers across the bar

Best Awww Scene - Gretchen and Jennifer on the couch right before her mom interrupts

Best Quote - Gretchen: "So we have nothing." Jennifer: "Oh no, we still have mountains of debt."

Best Reason to Watch - Jennifer comes off as self-absorbed but still appealing and for what she's going through, she's taking it with pretty good grace

Best Reason to Move Back Home - Bacon waffles. How awesome is that?

Most Awkward - Car pooling with your boss the day that he fires you

Most Inappropriate - Maggie, who throws a party complete with mariachi band to welcome her fired and broke daughter back to live with her

Worst Comfort - Anything out of Wayne and Stef's mouths

Best Reunion - Jeffrey Tambor (Jennifer's boss) and Jessica Walter (her mother) both starred on Arrested Development.

The "Yeah, I don't Think That's Ethical" Award - Maggie offers to be her daughter's shrink. Somehow even ethics aside, I'm pretty sure that won't work. Besides that's what phone calls and coffee are for.

Most Athletic - Jennifer jumps on a car window and climbs through the sun roof. If the car had been moving, she'd make a good action shot.

Best Advice - Hey she may be a giant tool, but Stef is right about not spending more than you make. Live and die by the budget, man. It makes everything easier.



Undateable - 1.01 - Pilot

This was not the worst comedy pilot I've seen this year. That award still firmly goes to Mixology. This wasn't particularly offensive with zero good characters, but it was brain numbingly dumb and all the characters felt like they came from a pile of props. When there is far more bad than good, it's time to chuck it.

Grade: D-
Ranking: 1

Best Scene - Danny comforts Leslie after Justin does not sleep with her

Best Quote - Leslie: "This was acceptable when you were 20, but you're pushing 30 and it's getting creepy. And creepy sticks. It's like herpes. It's for life."

Best Reason to Watch - chances are that a good bromance will develop between Justin and Danny

Least Surprising - Justin hooks up with Danny's sister

Worst Moment - Danny pretends to be throwing up his vast knowledge to feed Justin like a bird. No, it doesn't make any more sense in the actual episode.

Biggest Hmmm - I'm not sure if bragging that you were the first male Annie at choral camp is what you want to lead with when trying to get someone to take you on as a roommate.

Worst British Accent Ever - Danny. Even I could do better than that.

Worst Running Joke - the "ping, ping, ping, no negative thoughts" routine



Dominion - 1.01 - Pilot

Dominion has an interesting story, even if I am sick to death of evil angels. However this pilot tended to stretch out too long without much of anything happening. They set up the characters and the story but for the most part it dragged so that the extended pilot felt a lot more like 3 hours than 66 minutes. The little action there was ended quickly in short bursts. For instance, they cut out of the Michael vs. Furiad fight so we can watch Alex and Claire decide to stay in the city. I would much rather watch sword fighting. Then Michael hesitates instead of killing Furiad outright. What's up with that? It did lead to a nice moment with Alex trying to come to Michael's rescue though, which shows that he cares more about his commanding officer than he let on. I expect we'll see that relationship deepen as the series progresses and it will probably be the cornerstone of the series. That's the good news. The bad is yet again we have a love triangle, even if this is built more on power than anything else. Overall, I like the concept of Dominion better than the execution so far, which means I will give it 2 more episodes before dropping it. Here's hoping the pacing improves drastically.

Grade: C+
Ranking: 4

Best Scene - Jeep's dies and the tattoos are transferred to Alex

Biggest Aww Scene - Jeep gives Alex a picture of his mother

Best Quote - Michael: "You have faith." Wheele: "Oh that died a long time ago archangel, when your kind laid waste to my planet."

Best Reason to Watch - the overall mythology

Best Character Interaction - Alex and Bixby

Coolest Moment - Forget the flying angels, I love how the tattoo moves to tell Alex to beware. Super cool.

Best Reason to Fast Forward - there are long stretches in the pilot without any action. There's a lot of setting and character building, which is expected in a pilot, but in an extended pilot I expect more action than this

Best Voice Over - the cold open, which told us the setting in less than 2 minutes. Without this, you'd be hopelessly lost as I was the first time I saw it, joining in at the 10 minute mark.

Best Call - Alex chooses to rescue Bixby instead of Claire. Absolutely the right call given that Bixby is on her own and everybody and their cousin are trying to protect Claire. / Claire says they cannot leave the city in a war and that they will have to go some other time.

Most Disgusting - angel tongue

Most Disturbing - co-ed showers

Least Surprising - Alec is the Chosen One / life in the future sucks, with its caste system, beatings, and little food

Best Twist - William is already fighting on the side of angels as an acolyte and is not going to be pushed into it by an annoying love triangle

Biggest Douche - Jeep, who re-introduces himself to his son by attacking him. There's got to be Winchester in this bloodline.

Biggest Idiot - Steele, who brings an angel into the city in order to shock himself into power. Like that wasn't going to backfire. The second you said, "We are in complete control," the whole thing was headed to Hades.

Best Spin - Wheele can't stand to see all his plans evaporate before him, so he fights Alex as the Chosen One with everything he has. Including saying that the angel in the city was a good idea. Say what?

The "Are You Kidding Me?" Award - Claire finds out she's to be wed to William in a city-wide announcement. Is this the Middle Ages? What about the future means women are second class citizens again with no control over their own future?

Weirdest Moment - Michael bows to Alex before going back to the task at hand



Power - 1.01 - Pilot

This is not my type of show. The "f bombs" every other minute and the gratuitous nudity make it your typical pay cable show, which is a shame because the story itself and especially the character of James could make for a great show. Unlike Penny Dreadful, there isn't enough here for me to overlook the issues I have. However if those things don't bother you, check it out. There's a good story hidden deep within.

Grade: C
Ranking: 2

Best Scene - James and Tommy take care of Miguel

Best Quote - Tommy: "No, you already saw how she turned out. Anything else is just you trying to heal wounds from childhood." James: "You've got to stop watching that Dr. Phil sh**." Tommy: "That man knows what he's talking about."

Best Reason to Watch - James "Ghost" St. Patrick is the kind of complicated character that lends itself to multiple storylines and great drama

Best Character Interaction - James and Tommy

Best Juxtaposition - The bullets and lipstick mixing in the opening credits

Best Guest Star - Manny Montana, who plays Johnny on Graceland, shows up as someone who ripped off a drug kingpin

The "You Learn Something New Every Day" Award - I didn't know Louboutin made shoes for men. Not that I know anything about Louboutin except for the red soles.

The "Hey, You're Back" award - Sinqua Walls, Boyd from Teen Wolf appears in a few episodes. My guess from the way he was looking at James' wife, he bites it before the show ends. You just don't lust after a drug pin's wife. Also Enrique Murciano, Danny from Without a Trace, plays their supplier.

The "Big Tough Gangster Say What?" Award - Tommy actually said, "my bad." Really? When will that phrase die out?

Most Likely to Turn Out to be Playing Him - Angela. When an old friend shows up after 18 years and you're a criminal, it's best to get more information before letting them back into your life. She might not know that he is the one she's looking for but there's a reason why she came back into James' life.

The "Say What?" Award - Tasha sees her husband get a girl's number and so in revenge she strips for the driver. Unless there are more problems in their marriage than hinted at, that's overkill. Actually no matter what, that's overkill.

Best Reference - Time to make the doughnuts. That's what I say to myself when I don't want to get out of bed and go to work. Who knew gangsters used it too?



Weekly Shows:

~Please bear with me as I catch up on all the shows I normally review. I'll do a special focus on all the shows that ended while I was gone next week.

Graceland - 2.1 - The Line

The Graceland season 2 premiere starts with a time jump of a few months, which really works well because the characters all find themselves in a different place emotionally. It's nice to see that there were consequences and fall out for each of them after such an intense first season. The biggest change was of course Birggs, who is now far less impulsive and quite honestly fun. Still he remains the most fascinating character. Mike is less so, as he comes off mostly as a douche in this episode. So much so that I wanted to smack him. Otherwise, the premiere did a great job of setting up the new season's mytharc and the characters are just as intriguing as ever.

Grade: B

Best Scene - Paige and Mike talk by the campfire about why he's being such a douche

Best Quote - Mike: "We still going to be surfing by noon?" Briggs: "Probably not."

Best Twist - how everyone is reunited

Best Reason to Watch- seeing how all the Graceland residents have changed in the fallout

Smartest Plan - newbie kidnappers, who didn't just surprise me. Mixing a kidnapping with the dog fighting raid is brilliant.

Most Accurate Contact List - Leon lists the assassins under Kill Boys. At least it's clear.

Biggest Promotion - Mike, who went from rookie to Special Assistant to the Director to Graceland lead in a few short months. Kind of stretches credibility.

Best Return to TV - Mike's new girlfriend, Jessica, is Audrey on Haven

Best Gesture - Briggs does a sarcastic salute to the criminal that blew his plan. I didn't even know sarcastic salute existed.

Motto - Find the Line, proving that Mike's hunch was right

Most Brutal - dry boarding interrogation

The "What the Heck?" Award - When Leon pulls a gun on Briggs, Mike looks incredibly nonchalant about it. If he were a real arms dealer, he would have brought out a gun immediately and asked what's going on. Waiting so long should be highly suspicious to Leon.

Best Foreshadowing - Charlie watches over Juan Badillo's family and is obviously not done with the case

Best Reaction - everyone's lack of enthusiasm for the final announcement

Most Interesting Sub-Story - Jakes buys a house so he can be with his son

Most Likely to Go South Quickly - Charlie and Briggs' relationship, which is based partly on lies and guilt



Graceland - 2.02 - Connects

I liked this episode less than the premiere, mostly because it was concentrated more on character development than plot. Still there were some excellent scenes with both Charlie and Jakes. Watching Jakes realize that he might never see his son and that all the work he put into making a home for him was for naught was particularly heartbreaking. Charlie and Briggs' car scene as well. I do wish that Paige had gotten something more to do though. It seems like her character is always the one shafted and turning her into mere eye candy this episode was a real disservice. On the plus side, it looks like Johnny is going to have a more direct role in the overall mytharc so that's a wish lsit item checked. In the end, this episode felt more like a bridge to the following episodes but it set up some nice subplots, including one with Briggs and Kelly, the widow of the man he shot. I am very interested in hearing how that turns out.


Grade: B-

Best Scene - Briggs's conversation with the Caza leader / Jakes destroys the room he made for his son

Best Quote - Johnny: "You want a hug?"

Best Reason to Watch - character development

Biggest Shock - Charlie walks out on the sting

Least Shocking - Jakes arrested for violating a restraining order

Best Character Interaction - Johnny and Jakes

Biggest Risk - Briggs goes to meet with the Caza cartel leadership by himself to get answers about the hit on Mike. I know Briggs thinks he's invincible but this is not a good plan.

Best Death Stare - Charlie, who wields it liberally this episode.

Weirdest Line Possibly in the History of TV - Briggs: "Now I'm frisking goats." What?

Most Angsty - Charlie's breakdown and subsequent inability to do her job

Biggest Douche - Mike. Still.

Biggest Screw You - Jakes to Briggs

Biggest Disappointment / Most Likely to be Labeled Eye Candy - Paige. They have her undressed several times this episode and we still get no character motivation or growth for her. Right now she's as useless as Zeke and this was her big episode.

Least Sympathetic - Charlie: "You're fine. You've been stabbed 5 times. You'll live. Sonya, give this man a tampon and uh, I don't know…hold his hand."

Worst Subplot - the freaking tape. Until it becomes an issue for Briggs, I don't care what's going on with it.

Most Surprising Subplot - Kelly, who could be great character growth for Briggs or a predictable plot device

The "Oh Poor Baby" Award - Jakes> Man do I feel for his character.

Best New Character - Caza cartel boss

Most Disgusting - Gum sharing. Yuck!



The 100 - 1.11 - The Calm

For an episode called The Calm, things sure did happen in this episode. For me, the far superior storyline was the Ark again as we got answers, all the key players were found, and Kane became the biggest hero of the night. I like this character growth on him and it evolved in a quick, but natural way so it feels genuine. I hope we continue to see the Ark build itself back up and try to signal the earth. It's on the ground that the story falters. Clarke's assent into hand-to-hand killer was slightly shocking and yet completely in tune with the tone of the series. I expected it to come in the season finale to be honest. They needed to go there to keep the realism and because it's where Clarke has been heading since the Charlotte episode. Still I do not look forward to her emoangsting about it for the next some odd episodes. A least she would have a reason to emoangst though. Raven's character is no better now than it was when she was in the freaking love triangle. This is not acceptable. The character that was so freaking awesome on the Ark deserves the chance to show her talents on the ground. Having her pine away and throw fits is doing irreparable damage to her character and the writers need to fix it. She should be a slight foil for Clarke but right now all I want her to do is die. Speaking of, Finn had better not die. He's the only person with common sense and long-term perspective in the entire 100 camp.

Grade: A- / B-

Best Scene - Kane rescues Jaha

Best Quote - Raven: "So what's your plan? Sit here until you run out of bullets." Bellamy: "Yeah, or until you come up with something better. Come on, Raven. You came down here in a pod you rebuilt yourself. You made a bomb out of a tin can. What else you got in that head of yours?"

Best Reason to Watch - We're finally back to the ark to get some answers.

Best Reason to Fast Forward - Raven

Best Return - The Grounder Queen, who I want to see a lot more of

Best Reason to Cover Your Eyes - Clarke's emergency surgery and any other primitive doctoring

Biggest Disappointment - I was hoping that once they dropped the Clarke - Finn - Raven triangle both Raven and Finn would get a better storyline and Raven would stop being all about Finn. She's a strong character who deserves much better.

Most Improved / Best Determination - Kane, who rocks as a man on a mission to save everyone

The "What an Idiot?" Award - No way. No freaking way a trained soldier gives away vital information to an enemy combatant. This grounder warrior tells Clarke where he's vulnerable? Are you kidding me?

The "Are You Sure This isn't a Horror Show?" Award - The flickering lights, abandoned Ark passageways, the echoing noises…sure looks like a horror show to me and it gives me the wiggins equally

Best Teamwork - Trying to get the Chancellor out

Biggest Hypocrite - Clarke, who rails on the Grounder Queen for continued bloodshed, when she herself is actively part of the reason why they are at war. Shut up, Clarke!

The "So Do You Feel Better Now?" Award - Raven, I don't think sex with Bellamy is the answer. Why not use your great brain and be useful?

The "Say What?" Award - Why doesn't Kane take something to cover up when he heads into the maintenance shaft. Shouldn't he have a blanket or something to prevent him from second degree burns while crawling over the hot pipes?



The 100 - 1.12 - We are Grounders, Part 1

I admit that most penultimate episodes do nothing for me. Usually they play with all the emotional loose ends so that the finale can be full of action. This one did a great job of keeping the pacing and the mytharc alive. I love that Lincoln came back and hope beyond hope that he makes it out safely. Since this is the CW, there's a great chance that he did. I also love the dueling politics that once again has Clarke and Bellamy on opposite sides. It works best when they disagree because then we see all sides of the situation. I hope they continue to run in these lines in season 2, because it makes both characters far more interesting as their speech scene proves. Things on the Ark continue to be golden TV with superb acting. Abby breaking down over the dead patient is the highlight but everyone reacting to their certain death was fascinating. I wish they would have played with this more instead of all the Murphy drama, which was at best a distraction and at worst, filler. While it did lead to some great Bellamy character growth, it probably should have come earlier in the series since so much is going on right now. Basically this episode would get an A from me if it had shifted priorities a bit and of course if they had dumped the freaking shipping moment that seems to have to be in EVERY SINGLE episode. It had zero place here and is trying my patience to the utmost.

Grade: A / B+

Best Scene - Jaha outlines the Ark coming to earth / Bellamy and Clarke's rival speeches

Most Intense Scene - Abby breaks down over a dead patient

Best Quote -

Best Reason to Watch - the Ark is on the way down and the war on the ground is heating up. Everything is in play for a great finale.

Most CW / Best Reason to Fast Forward - Finn and Clarke are on their way to get valuable, lifesaving info to the 100 but we have to stop for Finn to declare his love for Clarke. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? You don't have time for this and this is the exact kind of nonsense that threatens my viewership. Knock it off, CW. Now! And none of this Bellamy and Clarke junk either. They all need to survive. I swear they are going to ruin another great show with this teenage romantic emoangsting mess. I'm too old for this.

Best Reason to Hold on to Those Old Home Movies - Sometimes they hold the key to everyone's survival. How very plot device of them to have Jaha watch the exact moment when his kids are talking about the solution. The kids are really cute though.

Most Grace Under Fire - Jaha's speech about the Ark dying

Best Dichotomy - Speeches - from the contrast in tone between Jaha's speech and Bellamy's opening speeches to the contrast between Bellamy and Clarke's plan to save the 100 . This is one of the reasons why The 100 needs to shed its CW-esque teen romance junk. The politics of life on the Ark and on the ground have plenty of drama and heart without being distracted by love geometry hijinks. To see the difference in leadership styles and to watch Bellamy grow into the kind of leader that can save them all would be fascinating. Stick to that storytelling, writers.

The "Saved by the…Signal Fire" Award - Clarke has the most lucky timing of anyone. Just as soon as she's about to die again, something happens to interrupt her would be assassin's plan.

Least Surprising - It is Lincoln who saved Finn and Clarke. As soon as the masked guy nodded instead of spoke, I knew it was Lincoln. I'm also glad because he is the most fascinating character on the show. Glad he's back.

Most Surprising - the bodies in the carts are alive / Finn kills someone by bashing in his head. This is far more surprising than Clarke but still bound to happen. I foresee much emoangsting in our future.

Best New Mytharc - The reapers. I love learning more about the grounders and the struggle to survive on earth. To learn about previous enemies is a great leap forward in the mytharc.

Most in Need of Disposal - Murphy, who is sticking around for another day. Could we please never hear from him again? That would be nice. He's all crazy and no brains, which makes for a tiresome villain.

Worst Played - Monty goes serial killer when anyone can walk in and they did.

Best Played - Jasper uses the radio to alert Bellamy to the fact that Monty is trying to kill him

The "Shut Up Everyone" Award - Listen. If your choice is go through the tunnel or get Lincoln killed, stop talking and go through the freaking tunnel. NOW! Idiots!

Most Dramatic - the pan up to the noose. We already knew that's what Bellamy was making.

The "I Knew You're Insane, but…" Award - Murphy of all the bat guano crazy junk you have ever said and done, the most insane is thinking that the 100 wouldn't put a bullet in your brain the second you showed your face. You have no time to win support or wait people out and no one but the equally crazy would trust you.

Best Awww Moment - Jasper hugs Bellamy and thanks him



The 100 - 1.13 - We are Grounders, Part 2

This episode had something for everything in it and was an excellent way to end the season. In fact, it is hard to pick a favorite scene when there are so many great ones. I'm so happy The 100 was renewed. In particular, I loved all of the Ark scenes from Jaha's breakthrough to his quietly contemplating his own death while drinking scotch. Another poignant scene that hasn't been duly recognized in the fandom was where Kane stands up to volunteer to stay behind and manually disconnect the pods from the Ark. To watch his slow walk towards the door with everyone grasping his hand was incredibly emotional even if Jaha beat him to the punch. I also love how Bellamy and Octavia finally reconcile and how he lets her leave with Licoln, finally realizing that this grounder has done a lot to protect his little sister. Probably the best part though is how well they set up for season 2. Finn and Bellamy are missing. Octavia and Lincoln has run off. The Ark members in Abby's pod have landed, but the 100 have been kidnapped on Mount Weather. Don't tell me you aren't excited to see where this leads next year.


Grade: A

Best Scene - Bellamy voluntarily allows Lincoln to take Octavia to safety and the siblings say their goodbyes

Most Poignant Scene - Abby describes earth to Jaha and he opens a bottle of old scotch and looks at earth from the Ark, while Exit Music (for a Film) by Radiohead plays in the background

Best Moment - After Finn runs to rescue Bellamy, he gives Clarke a head nod to show that she should close the doors even though he and Bellamy are still outside

Best Quote - Jaha: "God speed, my friends. God speed." Abby: "Thelonious, where are you?" Jaha: "Right where I'm supposed to be. Hold on tight, Abby. You'll see your daughter soon….and I'll see my son."

Best Reason to Watch - There is no 1 reason. This was an excellent season finale.

Best Reason to Fast Forward - Raven's "pick me first" speech

Best Action - Grounders vs. Reapers

Best Cliffhanger - I debated back and forth on this one but in the end, Clarke waking in the quarantine ward loses out to whether or not Finn and Bellamy made it out and how they are going to reunite with the others

Biggest Shock - the mountain men gas the 100 when they step out of the drop ship

Most Fierce - the Grounder Queen who jumps into the drop ship right before the door closes

Most Anticlimactic - Sinclair does the separation countdown only to have it fail / Jasper flips the switch for the rockets and nothing happens

The "Are You Kidding Me?" Award - I think The 100 needs a space consultant on board. 52 hours have certainly not gone by. Not even close. The international space station orbits the earth over 15 times PER day. Even if it were not orbiting earth, the Ark would at most need 24 hours to get back to the exact same place it currently is. I am a fan of countdown drama at times, but not when it makes ZERO sense.

The "Oh Boo Hoo" Award - Raven, stop emoangsting and get to work. If I am going to lose you before you regain the awesome status you had before you came to earth, at least don't make me hate you for wasting episode minutes.

Most Disgusting - Drew getting a blade right through the head. You really don't need to show me that. My imagination can fill in the blanks nicely.

The "We Are All Screwed…" Award - No offense, but all you Ark members who are not in the compartment with BOTH Kane and Abby are just done. You stack 2 main characters in one place and that's the part that gets out alive. I knew Jaha wasn't making it even before he martyred himself, which was the….

Best Save - Chancellor Wells, who gives up his life to save his people. You are a good man, sir. I will miss you. Just like I have missed your son since his death.

Best Almost Save - Kane offers to give up his life, but Jaha already did it. I love this scene because you see his willingness to sacrifice for his people. The character development for Kane has been one of the best parts of the series.

Biggest Hypocrite - Clarke again. She says they are not grounders but they started this particular war.

Smartest - Surprisingly it is Jasper. He figures out the grounders are trying to make them run out of bullets.

Most Dramatic Entrance - I would say the grounder hordes, but this one definitely goes to the Ark.

Worst News - Sinclair explains the process of going to earth, of which the best news is that someone might survive but most won't

The "Well Hello, Warrior Princess" Award - Octavia continues to be one of the best characters on this show. Add her new ninja skills and she could become the missing female kick butt warrior The 100 needs.

Best Return - Lincoln made it out. Now can we turn this into a "Lincoln tells us all about the grounders and leads us to other parts of the earth" show. Because that would be freaking awesome.

The "Say What?" Award - Why did they dump Drew's dead body right in the middle of the camp? That won't do anything for morale.

Biggest Hmmm - Why is Starry Night hanging in a hospital ward? That seems mighty out of place.

Best Music - The Other Side by Woodkid




Screencaps by

With Mike's investigation into who kidnapped him at a standstill, Briggs reaches out to his contacts to arrange a meeting with Caza cartel leader, Alfredo Arma. (The actor played Edgar on Supernatural for those keeping score.) They have an intense but cordial discussion about the ethics of crime and agree to be unlikely allies in the hunt for the kidnappers. While Briggs is rather proud of how it turned out, Charlie is none too happy with Briggs for going into danger and not telling her. Johnny's not to happy either when he guesses that Jakes is moving out. To shush him up, Jakes shows Johnny a picture of his son, Daniel, and tells the story of why he moved to Graceland. He's gotten a new apartment and a desk job so he can be in Daniel's life. Too bad his ex-girlfriend seems less than excited about the possibility when he calls her. Speaking of girlfriends, Briggs heads to Charlie's work for a deep conversation about their careers and relationship. She calls him on being reckless in order to become the hotshot again. He calls her on her nightly escapades so she hands him the folder on Juan Badillo before walking out and sending Briggs into a panic. He tracks down Jakes, proving he's far more aware of what's happening in the house than the others. Briggs wants help about Charlie. Jakes wants Briggs to leave him out of it. It's a great scene of Jakes finally putting Briggs in his place. He tells Briggs to find out what Charlie's up to, so he joins her stakeout of the Badillo place where she admits to feeling guilty about Juan's death especially since his widow is drinking again. It's a great, intense scene. Meanwhile Mike's investigation causes problems for Paige too. She is 4 months into a sting but Mike tells her to wrap it up or hand it off immediately because he's a self-centered douche. At least he offers the FBI's vast resources, including a lip reader and sign language interpreter. Brilliant move but sadly the meet is in half an hour, so the race is on. Paige easily takes down her "partner" and convinces him to cooperate with her. She then hammers on the buyer, jumping onto his back. Mike arrests everyone and viola, the least suspenseful drug bust ever is done.

Luckily Vanessa, Mike's other girlfriend, comes through with a lead from Arma so the team heads to an old envelope factory where Arma leaves a goat and a picture of one Carlos Solano of the Solano cartel, the guy behind the kidnapping. Mike puts a plan together which involves Paige contacting street dealers for the cartel, Charlie going undercover as Junior's girlfriend, and Zeke moving out. The last is negated when Johnny tells the house that Jakes moved out to Paige and Charlie's consternation. Mike doesn't care since it doesn't involve him directly so Zeke is back in. Sadly Jakes is out, out, out. Out of Graceland, out of his dream, and out of freedom. When he goes to see his son, Cassie and Derek tell him that they got a restraining order for him and the police arrest him in front of his son. Ouch! I feel so badly for him. His dream comes crashing down around him, although screaming, "I'm your father," at your son is probably not the best way to break the news. Later that night, he takes a baseball bat to the room he built for his son in the most painful moment of the night. Luckily there is a bright spot - Briggs and Juan's widow. It's the second biggest plot twist of the night for me, but he follows her to a liquor store and poses as a guy falling off the wagon too. They bond over dead love ones and she takes him to a coffeehouse where they both rededicate themselves to sobriety. While Briggs connects with the widow, Mike has Charlie connect with the mark. Shockingly she bails in the middle of the operation in a crisis of nerves, so Johnny makes contact instead. Meanwhile Mike connects with Paige on a more carnal level right after hanging up with Vanessa. Also in the minor news category, the teens who have the tape Juan made before Briggs shot him play it in some guy's classic car. He takes the tape from them, thinking it's a joke. Wake me when it is actually important.




In a nutshell, the character development is what worked in this episode. Jakes' sad tale of trying to reconnect with his son was painful but so well acted. It's hard to see someone's dream shatter like that, especially when the character is usually reticent to share his feelings. The other angsty scene that actually worked for me was Charlie revealing the guilt she feels over not realizing that Cortes was Jangles sooner. The events of season 1 have done as big a number on her as it has on Briggs and that's saying something. I now know why we didn't get much of Charlie's reaction in the premiere. It's going to be a main event for at least a few episodes. When she walked out of the sting, I was dumbfounded. That is so unlike Charlie and clearly her confidence is shot, which should affect everyone in the operation. I really look forward to what they do with this character and I hope that when Mike inevitably tells her off that she goes right back off on him. Not only does Charlie bailing give her character an interesting arc to follow, it opens up the possibility of Johnny going undercover in a major case. While I don't want Johnny to ever lose his role as biggest supporter of Graceland, he does need a chance to shine and this gives it to him. Still his best scene of the night was when he realized that Jakes was leaving. The conversation was fabulous but the kicker was when he insisted on giving Jakes a hug and then Jakes hugs him back. For characters as opposite as Jakes and Johnny, they have great scenes together. Jakes also had a fabulous scene with Briggs albeit of an opposite nature. I always felt like Jakes should have been harder on Briggs last season and it comes out here. I like how he basically said this was Briggs' mess and that he needed to fix it because Jakes wasn't going to be the fall guy. Murder tends to strain a friendship, if that's what they even had. I'm glad Briggs got an eye opener here. Finally, Briggs had 2 more scenes that made my plus list. The intensity of the civil conversation he had with the Caza leader impressed me. The words sounded casual but my heart was racing throughout because this could have ended brutally. I like the undertone of tension both actors gave it. I also really enjoy how they have brought Juan Badilla's widow into the plot. I'm not sure how this is going to play out but I like it so far. It gives Briggs a small shot at redemption and allows us to see another side of him.




For all that the characters worked in this episode, the plot was largely stalled and is my biggest criticism of the night. It felt like we were getting nowhere and Paige's side project didn't fill the gap. Last season there were times when the B plot was more interesting than anything Bello-related, like when they went up against the crazy pot farmer. This felt more like filler and to keep some resemblance of a police show. There was really nothing to this story at all. Paige meets with a low level crook, finds out where the meet is, she kicks some butt, and it's all over in about 3 minutes. Don't get me wrong. Paige kicking butt is awesome, but if we are not going to go anywhere in the actual serialized plot, I'd like a bit more from the B story. I also resent that they turned Paige into eye candy for a majority of the time she was on screen. She was partially nude for more time than all the other characters combined in the last 2 episodes. Then half of the conversations were about her looks instead of her job skills. She's a full member of Graceland and they need to remember that when portraying her. Then they go and have Paige and Mike hook up right after he hangs up with his girlfriend. Now they are both douches. Nice job, writers. Not that Mike wasn't still a douche before that. His leadership skills need a whole lot of work. His inability to care about anyone but himself, even more. He's the most self-centered, high handed, pompous little jerk on the show and he's supposed to be our main character. I know the anti-hero is all the rage these days, but I would prefer not wanting the main character to die every episode. Other than that and some pacing issues, the only thing that concerns me about this episode is that Jakes is now officially out of Graceland and I'm a bit unsure on how they are going to work him back in. If he just comes back and Mike kicks out Zeke, then I am going to be annoyed at both Mike and the writers. Why even bring me Zeke then? If he stays at his place but still works on the operation, we run the risk of missing out on more character interaction for Jakes. That doesn't work for me either.





1. They have left Johnny in a great position to move forward as a character
2. The continued fallout from season 1 on Charlie and Briggs
3. What Jakes decides to do now that his plan with his son has failed
4. The entire gang working together on one project
5.  Where they take Kelly's character







Grade: B-

Best Scene - Briggs's conversation with the Caza leader / Jakes destroys the room he made for his son

Best Quote - Johnny: "You want a hug?"

Best Reason to Watch - character development

Biggest Shock - Charlie walks out on the sting

Least Shocking - Jakes arrested for violating a restraining order

Best Character Interaction - Johnny and Jakes

Biggest Douche - Mike. Still.


Most Angsty - Charlie's breakdown and subsequent inability to do her job

Biggest Risk - Briggs goes to meet with the Caza cartel leadership by himself to get answers about the hit on Mike. I know Briggs thinks he's invincible but this is not a good plan.

Best Death Stare - Charlie, who wields it liberally this episode.

Weirdest Line Possibly in the History of TV - Briggs: "Now I'm frisking goats." What?


Biggest Screw You - Jakes to Briggs

Most Disgusting - Gum sharing. Yuck!

Biggest Disappointment / Most Likely to be Labeled Eye Candy - Paige. They have her undressed several times this episode and we still get no character motivation or growth for her. Right now she's as useless as Zeke and this was her big episode.

Least Sympathetic - Charlie: "You're fine. You've been stabbed 5 times. You'll live. Sonya, give this man a tampon and uh, I don't know…hold his hand."

Worst Subplot - the freaking tape. Until it becomes an issue for Briggs, I don't care what's going on with it.

Most Surprising Subplot - Kelly, who could be great character growth for Briggs or a predictable plot device

The "Oh Poor Baby" Award - Jakes.  Man do I feel for his character.

Best New Character - Caza cartel boss


Screencaps by Razorfine, Rickey, and I Love Graceland.

Teen Wolf season 4 premiered last night with a big twist right from the start. As always, these polls will have between 10-13 scenes to choose from including an Other choice and you can pick 1. Be sure to comment on your choice because discussion is always more fun that way. Don't forget to check out the following links as well:

Teen Wolf in Best Episode contest (ends between 10-11 am CST on Wednesday)
What Did You Think of Dark Moon poll (never ends)
Season Promo (also includes Jeff Davis interview)
Next Episode Promo








Shameless Plug - I will be posting a recap of this episode later in the week on both my blog and SpoilerTV and I co-host a Teen Wolf podcast for Southgate Media. I also live tweet Teen Wolf each week under @dahne1 so if you live tweet as well, give me a shout out and I'll add you to my Teen Wolf Twitter list. We have a blast talking about the episode together.

USA Network Conference Call Transcript:


BRANDON JAY McLAREN
SEASON 2 OF GRACELAND





Emily Kaufman: Hi everyone. My name is Emily Kaufman from USA Network and I’m so happy that you’re all here and you’re able to take the time to speak with Brandon Jay McLaren today. He stars as Dale Jakes in the hit drama series Graceland which airs Wednesday nights at 10:00, 9:00 central. And the second season follows SBI, DEA and ICE agents who struggle to maintain a sense of normalcy especially when former SBI rookie, Mike Warren, played by Aaron Tveit, returns to Graceland to run point on his dangerous mission against the cartel. And with that, I’m going to turn it over to Brandon who can tell you a little bit more about the upcoming season and where we find Dale and what fans can expect.

Brandon McLaren: Hi. Are there questions or do I just say stuff?

Emily Kaufman: Well, we can turn it over to questions, if you’d like. Otherwise, you know, if you want to tell us a little bit about where Season 2 takes you and where it starts off with your...

Brandon McLaren: Okay. Yes. Sure. Sure. I can go ahead. Season 2, so at the beginning of Season 2 everybody in the house, we kind of find everybody in maybe different positions than where we left off in the finale of Season 1. You know, Briggs is, you know, trying to change his life and sort of, you know, gains some redemption for the things that he did in the first season. You know, and Dale specifically, Jakes, he’s a lot happier. He’s in a very good place mainly because he has a plan to leave the house and get his son back and so he kind of wants to make a sharp pivot and change his life for the better. So, you know, you find out that he gets his own apartment and he does his own, you know, secretly behind everybody’s back, and plans to get the house and be with his son. And as we saw last night, his plan kind of goes awry and that sort of pain will kind of drive him through the rest of the second season and we’ll see that it kind of goes to a dark place.

Emily Kaufman: Okay great. So with that I think we’re ready for questions.

Operator: One moment please, for the first question. And our first question comes from the line of Sabienna Bowman with TV Equals. Please proceed.

Sabienna Bowman: Hi Brandon. It’s so nice to speak with you.

Brandon McLaren: Hi.

Sabienna Bowman: I wanted to ask you about last night’s episode because your performance was just so great. How did it feel filming this when you weren’t allowed to see your son after all of that build-up?

Brandon McLaren: You know, I feel like the way Jeff wrote it, he wrote it in such a great way sort of building, you know, you could sort of see the excitement that was building inside of Jakes in terms of his getting his son back and putting his place together. And so all the pieces were coming together. So on the day we shot the scene where I showed up at the door, I’ve got to say first of all it was extremely hot that day so being in the suit wasn’t fantastic. But Ciera Payton who plays Cassie was so great and, you know, they really sort of, everybody just sort of committed to the moment and to what was going on in the scene. So it was a really, really fun scene to shoot. Raheem Babalola who plays Derek was also fantastic and even with the police officers, you know, taking me away, we did it a few times and we were really wrestling, you know, because you want to give it a sense of realness and authenticity.

Sabienna Bowman: Absolutely and then a quick follow-up. I was wondering is Jakes going to be any closer to the people in the house because it always feels like he’s the one that kind of keeps this emotional distance from the other group now that he kind of needs distance more?

Brandon McLaren: Well that’s the thing about Jakes this season is you’re right. He’s sort of, he’s sort of like the last person to add the (kid) for what the house represents and what it stands for. But now that his plan has been spoiled, he really needs the house now more than anybody else which is interesting.
So throughout the season we kind of see how he comes to terms with that and, you know, that’s definitely like part of the ride that he’s on for Season 2.

Sabienna Bowman: That sounds amazing. Thank you so much Brandon. It was great to speak with you.

Brandon McLaren: Thank you very much.

Operator: And our next question comes from the line of Blake Mitchell with Share T.V. Please proceed.

Alissa: Hi. This is Alissa from Share T.V. and we just wanted to ask you, there’s so many cop, SBI undercover shows out there. What do you think sets Graceland apart and makes it so loved by the fans?

Brandon McLaren: You know, I think that with a lot, a lot of cop, a lot of cop shows out there, you know, once the crime is solved, you know, the show, that’s the end of the episode. What’s good about our show is that’s only half if it, if that. It might only be 25% of it and what’s interesting is you get to go home with these people after, after the crime is solved and see how it affects their lives. And I think that’s what sets it apart. I think, you know, the serialized nature of our show with all the characters and all the layering is what fans, I think, really, really appreciate about it and what make is, what makes it different.

Alissa: That’s an awesome answer. So true. We have one more question. Just based on the last question that was asked, you know, the show’s so physical. What was the audition process like for Graceland? Was there any physical aspect to it?

Brandon McLaren: There was no physical aspect, no, for the audition process. However, when we shot the pilot, there was definitely a physical aspect. We trained with the Ft. Lauderdale Police Department in terms, and did a lot of sort of SWAT kind of training. So we went onsite with them until, their fake house that they have set up where they do all their actual training, and we learned how to clear houses the right way and, you know, and shoot. And then, so, you know, we want to try to make it as authentic as we can.

Alissa: Awesome. Thanks so much.

Brandon McLaren: Thank you.

Operator: And our next question comes from the line of Greg Saffo with Your Entertainment Corner. Please proceed.

Greg Saffo: Hi Brandon. Thanks for taking our calls today. As a fan of the show, I felt that for much of the middle of the Season 1 that you were kind of the off man out and I don’t know if it was because of the writing or your character but I’m looking very forward to seeing Jakes get a much larger kind of storyline of his own this season. Without giving away too much, can you tell us about an upcoming scene that you’re particular excited for your fans to see?

Brandon McLaren: You know, there’s a scene with Paige. I don’ remember what episode exactly but it’s coming up and I think it sort of, it sort of represents, you know, a major shift in Jakes in terms of where he’s at emotionally and also how he views his place in the house. And it was just a great scene to work on and (???) one of those great men. And, yes, I’m looking forward to that one.

Greg Saffo: Thank you.

Brandon McLaren: Thank you.

Operator: It’s a follow-up question from the line of Blake Mitchell with Share T.V. Please proceed.

Alissa: Hi. It’s Alissa again. Growing up in Vancouver, how did you adjust to living in L.A. and was there anyone in particular that helped you?

Brandon McLaren: Yes, I mean, you know, it was definitely an eye-opener coming down to L.A., you know, there’s a lot of actors down here and so moving from Vancouver, you know you see that right away. Every restaurant. Every coffee shop. You get a sense of, you know, the magnitude of the size of the city and that the film and T.V. industry is paramount. So that was an adjustment and it took some getting used to. But, you know, I relied on a lot of great people. I had a lot of people help me out. You know people who’d I worked with up in Vancouver who, when I came down, you know, they let me stay in, it’s a place a little way or what have you. So I had a lot of, a lot of, you know, support and positivity and it made the transition a lot easier.

Alissa: That’s awesome. Was it the same for the, you know, trip down to Florida too?

Brandon McLaren: No, Florida was a little different. I mean, you know, I’m, before I was just there, just, I’m just there to do Graceland, you know.

Alissa: Mm-hmm.

Brandon McLaren: But I do love, I do love shooting in Miami and I spend a considerable amount of time there now. So, yes, it’s a great, it’s a great thing to, you know, be, you know, be there for extended periods of time actually, I mean.

Alissa: Oh, awesome. So thank you very much.

Pattye Grippo: Hi Brandon. Thanks for talking with us today.

Brandon McLaren: For sure. Thank you.

Pattye Grippo: So let me ask you. During this season, how will Jakes personal life affect his professional life?

Brandon McLaren: How? Very directly and not only, and not only his professional life but, you know, you’ll see that issues that arise in his personal life will also start to affect other people in the house professional life. That causes some serious conflict and it also cause Jakes to sort of, you know, step back and take a hard look at where his life is going. And, you know, if he continues on the path that he is on, you know, he might end up in a place where there’s no coming back from. So yes, the two lives definitely collide this year and the result is not always positive.

Pattye Grippo: Right. And let me just ask, what is your character’s journey going to be this year?

Brandon McLaren: Well I mean after last month’s episode, you see that he’s in a really bad place. Probably, well not the lowest place but he’s definitely on a downward spiral after, you know, being essentially arrested by the, by the police. So he needs to sort of, as I was saying earlier, you know, the funny thing about Jakes is that, you know, he probably believes least in what the house represents but at this moment, he really has nothing else. So he needs the house more than anybody else. So, you know, in the next few episodes you’ll really, you’ll really see that.

Pattye Grippo: Okay. Great. Thank you very much.

Brandon McLaren: Thank you.

Operator: Our next question comes from the line of Jaime Sanberg with (???) Magazine. Please proceed.

Jaime Sanberg: Hi. Such a pleasure to speak with you.

Brandon McLaren: Hi.

Jaime Sanberg: I was wondering, is there anything that you added to this role that wasn’t originally scripted for you?

Brandon McLaren: In terms of what?

Jaime Sanberg: Maybe something that wasn’t on that page, that is a backstory or a little bit of edge or something that you gave to him that you felt wasn’t really on the page but you gave a spin to it?

Brandon McLaren: I mean, I mean I think, that’s the great thing about working with Jeff Eastin. He’s sort of, he sort of lets you sort of fill in the blanks. So I mean there is nothing consciously that I did but I do try to bring an element of myself to every role I play. I think that that’s how the role, you know, becomes grounded in some sort of truth is, you know, bringing part of yourself into it. So that’s something that I do with every role, not just, not just this one.

Jaime Sanberg: And can you talk about the capture? In Season 2 right now, how have you guys continued to maintain such great chemistry between all of you?

Brandon McLaren: I, you know, I think it’s because all just really enjoy the job. You know, that first scene, you know, when we’re in the first episode of this season where we’re all in the, in the, in the living room playing the game with (De Gannes) and Mike comes in. That was actually the first thing that we shot when we all got back and it was just such a, everybody just was so happy to be back and be together again. And I think that’s the secret, you know. We just like coming to work and playing around with each other and, you know, hopefully that shows up on screen.

Jaime Sanberg: Oh, it definitely does. So thank you very much.

Brandon McLaren: Thank you.

Operator: And our next question comes from the line of Dahne with SpoilerTV. Please proceed.

Dahne: Hi. We had learned in this episode that Jakes actually followed his son to, that’s why he went to Graceland. Do you think the events of last season accelerated Jakes’ desire reunite with his son? Or was that his plan all the way along?

Brandon McLaren: That was his plan all the way along. That’s the only reason why he actually moved to California was to be closer to the, to his son. I don’t think he had like sort of a detail plan moving forward. I think he was just like, let me just go out there, be closer to him and once I get out there I’ll figure out what the next step is. And, but no, that was definitely the one and only driving force for him being in Graceland to begin with.

Dahne: And what housemate would you like to see Jakes interact a little bit more with?

Brandon McLaren: You know, I would say, I mean I would say Charlie. Him and Charlie don’t really, don’t really have much interaction. You know, obviously, you know, Jakes and Tuturro interact a lot and then moving forward you’ll see that Jakes and Paige start to interact a little more. But I think Charlie’s the only one really that, Jakes doesn’t really interact with much on the show. But I think that would be cool.

Dahne: I agree. I think that would be a great one to explore.

Brandon McLaren: Yes.

Dahne: Thank you.

Brandon McLaren: Thank you.

Operator: Our next question comes from the line of Tina Charles with T.V. Goodness. Please proceed.

Tina Charles: Hey there. Well you just touched on this a little bit but who does Jakes turn to in the house as the season continues?

Brandon McLaren: Who does he turn to? You know, Jakes, I don’t feel like he really turns to anybody. What he does however is he doesn’t realize that he needs to step up and maybe be better coworker/house mate/maybe friend. And so, yes, that happens. But I don’t know if he really turns to anybody. He’s still, he’s still keeps his private life private for the most part.

Tina Charles: And also, how much does Jakes get pulled into Briggs’ story because you guys, there’s something going on. You know he knows a lot about Briggs’ life.

Brandon McLaren: Yes. Towards the end, you know, he does get involved again, not by choice but because, if you remember, you know, there’s still a tape out there with the audio of Briggs’, you know, killing an FBI agent. And Jakes’ was complicit in that cover-up. So, you know, until that is resolved, you know, Briggs’ and Jakes will sort of always be linked in this cover-up together.

Tina Charles: So does that create a lot of conflict between you guys or...

Brandon McLaren: Yes it does. It ends up, it ends up coming up again and I don’t think either party is really happy about it.

Tina Charles: Great. Thank you.

Brandon McLaren: Thank you.

Operator: Our next question comes from the line of Greg Saffo with Your Entertainment Corner. Please proceed.

Greg Saffo: Thanks. In yesterday’s episode, your character described the house as a coed frat house. With so much of the show revolving around you guys as a collective group and given the intensity of the show, can you share anything about what the cast does together to blow-off steam during, you know, the season of filming.

Brandon McLaren: You know, we don’t, we don’t really do a lot of things together as a group. I think in part because, you know, we all kind of live spread out in the area. You know, three of us live in Miami. Three other people live in Ft. Lauderdale. And then, you know, everybody, you know, we really don’t as a cast do a lot of things outside which I think is great because when we do get together on set, you know, we’re, it’s, you know, we’re happy to see one another and it’s fun. So I think we strike a nice balance, struck a nice balance there.

Greg Saffo: Okay. And a quick unrelated follow-up. I believe you attended college on a soccer scholarship. Any favorites...in the World Cup?

Brandon McLaren: Yes.  Well Spain was my favorite and they got knocked out of the first round yesterday so my heart’s really broken. So now moving forward I think, you know, I think it would be great to see Brazil win World Cup in Brazil. I think that would just be a great, a great story. So I’m hoping they can, they can pull it out.

Greg Saffo: Thank you.

Brandon McLaren: Thank you.

Operator: Our next question is a follow-up question from the line of Dahne with SpoilerTV. Please proceed.

Dahne: Are we going to see Jakes still fighting for his son or has that desire kind of been crushed for Season 2?

Brandon McLaren: I don’t think it’s ever going to be crushed. I think he just needs to sort of recalibrate and, you know, just now chose a different course of action because this one now has been squashed. But no, I think it matters too much to him to stop. He just has to figure out a different way to, so yes. And like I said, you’re going to see, you’re going to see some more of Daniel in this season even coming up in the next couple of episodes.

Dahne: Oh great. Also, as being the only character from the ICE agency, are we going to see Jakes fitting more into the overall story or is he going to have his own cases to pursue as we go in?

Brandon McLaren: The great thing about this season is that everybody is sort of involved in this, in one case that sort of overarches the entire season. So everybody’s specialty is sort of put to work and, you know, obviously when Mike is tracking down this new bus route, you know, Customs comes heavily into play because, you know, about some deals with all the contraband coming now into the country. That’s essentially the Customs’ job. So Jakes does go undercover, you know, under Mike and yes, is involved very, very much in the, in the case this year.

Dahne: Great. I’ll look forward to seeing that.

Brandon McLaren: Thank you.

Operator: Our next question is a follow-up question from the line of Greg Saffo with Your Entertainment Corner. Please proceed.

Greg Saffo: Thanks. For much of last season, there was many what I like to call holy crap moments. Just wondering, after you get done filming, you’re done filming before the first episode airs. Am I correct?

Brandon McLaren: No, not this year. Last season we were. This season, no. We were still shooting while the premiere aired.

Greg Saffo: Okay. Are you able to then go back and watch as a fan or is this, after you’re done filming, does it move onto another project and you kind of leave it behind you? Are you able to watch the fan and if so, what was your holy crap moment watching, you know, that surprised you that you weren’t fully in on while you were filming?

Brandon McLaren: I mean, you know, obviously I read the scripts over and over and over again. So in terms of, there’s no, there’s no holy crap moment in terms of story because, you know, I, you know, I know the story so well. But I absolutely watch it as a fan because, you know, you know, three-quarters of the show I’m not there while it’s being shot. And I just, I’m just a fan of my castmates’ work so I just love seeing, you know, I love seeing them do their thing and seeing the scenes that I’ve read up on the screen and seeing how it was shot and then their performances. So I guess I look forward to watching it every Wednesday.

Greg Saffo: And then a quick unrelated follow-up question. You’re a well know Canadian actor and while Graceland isn’t filmed in Canada, many of your shows are. In your opinion is there much difference between shooting a Canadian show versus a U.S show? Do you see a time when more Canadian shows appear on U.S. T.V.’s like the show Flashpoint did?

Brandon McLaren: There is no real difference. No, you know. Every, you know, if you shoot is Toronto, if you shoot in Florida, it all has the same feel. You know, and I do, I do see, in the future, I do see more Canadian shows being shown down here in the U.S. I think, you know, I think the quality of Canadian T.V. is steadily increasing and I think it does well for everybody back home, everybody back home in Canada.

Greg Saffo: Thank you.

Brandon McLaren: Thank you.

Operator: Our next question comes from the line, it’s a follow-up question from the line of Sabienna Bowman with T.V. Equals. Please proceed.

Sabienna Bowman: Hi again Brandon. I wanted to mention, last season one of my favorite (unintelligible) was you and Johnny because of the dynamics for Johnny is probably the most in love with the house and having this found family. And Jakes is more standoffish one. I was wondering, this season will Johnny (finally) get his full bromance moment with Jakes that he seems to be craving so badly?

Brandon McLaren: You know, Jakes and Johnny, I mean it’s, you know, it’s sort of, an odd couple type of pairing. But they do have lot of stuff this season and Johnny sort of, I think John has a great storyline first of all this season and Manny does a great job. But I feel like Jakes kind of realizing that Johnny needs to sort of learn from his own mistakes, you know, and you can only preach to somebody so much but you kind of got to let them fall and pick themselves back up. And I think, you know, they both come to an understanding but that’s after quite a bit of conflict and I don’t know if you’ve seen but in a preview they had already shown that there is a head butt coming up. So they definitely, so they definitely have some conflict coming up.

Sabienna Bowman: Awesome, I’m looking forward it. Thank you again.

Brandon McLaren: Thank you so much.

Operator: Our next question is a follow-up question from the line of (Dahne) with SpoilerTV. Please proceed.

Dahne: Hey. This one’s not really a professional question but more personal. I saw that your family background is also in Trinidad.

Brandon McLaren: Yes.

Dahne: Beautiful country. I was just wondering if you get a chance to go back there or what kind of travelling you get to do independent of what you do as an actor?

Brandon McLaren: Yes, I haven’t been, my mom is from Trinidad. I mean, I haven’t been in Trinidad for a while, actually. I haven’t been there since I was maybe about 10 years. But my dad’s from Grenada which is a neighboring island and I go to Grenada actually quite a bit. I was actually there probably about 9 months ago and before that end of the year, you know, before that. So I go to Grenada quite a bit. We just kind of go to Grenada more than we go to Trinidad. But yes, they’re both beautiful countries and it’s definitely important to me to, you know, obviously keep contact and keep that link alive.

Dahne: Great. And then, when you have your downtime on set, what do you and your cast mates do?

Brandon McLaren: Downtime on set, you know, we like to hang out. You know, we joke around. You know, you know, actually we don’t have a ton of downtime because our scheduling is so great. So when we’re on set it’s usually because we’re working but like I said before, we all really enjoy each other’s company and, you know, I do feel like it shows up on screen.

Dahne: It definitely does that. Thank you very much.

Brandon McLaren: Thank you.

Operator: Miss Kaufman, I will now turn the call back to you. Please continue with your presentation.

Emily Kaufman: I’d like to thank you all so much for taking the time to speak with Brandon. If you have any additional questions, please don’t hesitate to contact myself or Melissa Cusack. Be sure to tune in next week for another brand new episode of Graceland at Wednesday at 10:00/9:00 central. Have a great day everyone.