It's a new episode so we've got a new Bingo card ready.  You can play online, print out a few choices, or create your own.  It's just as fun and half the danger of a drinking game.  Or as Merry Merino does it, mark a square and eat a cookie.  

For the purposes of 5B, I have tweaked some things.  Stiles' Jeep is out (Merry's suggestion) while Scott's mission to reunite the pack is in.  Also I took out "a formerly dead person appears" because technically both Hayden and Scott were formerly dead.  It was basically a free spot.  Next week I'll probably add something about Mason coming up with a crucial piece of information too.  If you have any other suggestions, let me know.


Bingo Card Links:

Online
Set of 8
Make Your Own

A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.


The Blacklist -
1. Reddington: "Gather your team. It's time to take down the Cabal." (Geo)
2. Reddington: "Ah, the sound of acquiescence." (Dahne)
3. Mr. Kaplan (at Navabi pulling out the weapons she's carrying): "My kind of girl." (Dahne)
4. Director: "I know who you really are, Raymond. Who you are to her and I know why you did this. Does she?" Reddington: "I can't think of even one set of circumstances in which that would be any of your business." (Dahne)
5. Gerard: "Good night, it's not the Hope diamond. Steal the damn thing." Kaplan: "And while I'm at it, shall I smile for the security cameras?" (Dahne)



CSI: Cyber -
1. Artie: "What did I miss?" Nelson: "I don't know but I love it when he's excited about this."
2. Nelson: "And no one's defecting from Florida to Rhode Island. I doubt it's political."
3. Avery: "Are you asking me on a date?" Artie: "Well you're a powerful, beautiful woman. You bet I am."




Colony -
1. Will: "How do you do it, Snyder? Slap on a suit and smile and d** over your own kind." Snyder: "I'm doing what anybody with a brain would do in this situation. I'm taking advantage of my opportunities."
2. Snyder: "Good things come to the loyal."
3. Spider: "Two kinds of guys roll through here. Guys running to something. Guys running from something. Which are you?"



Galavant -
1. Magdalena: "Do you know what happens when a queen loses her beauty sleep?" Sid: "She can sleep in later because she's a queen and she can do whatever she wants? Magdalena: "She could get a wrinkle and if she gets a wrinkle, she'll make sure you get a wrinkle…on your neck. I'm sorry. I'm not being very clear. I'm really tired. What I'm trying to say is that if you don't fix it I'll cut your throat, okay? Nighty night."
2. Mayor: "Though I can't imagine a free people ever voting to send an army into an open-ended foreign conflict which profits only the few. That would be madness."



Idiotsitter -
1. Billie: "Look, I am not Patrick Swayze, Gene. I'm the older disapproving sister who never did another movie."
2. Billie: "You've got a gun?" Ting: "Don't worry. It always jams." Billie: "You're terrifying."
3. Kent: "It makes me uncomfortable when people tell me things I already know about myself."



NCIS/NCIS: NO -
1. Sonja (regarding pictures of Abby and her brother): "I found every picture he’s ever taken with his sister. Why are they all on Halloween?" Tony: "That’s just how she dresses." (Prpleight)



Shadowhunters -
1. Clary: “So, what? I'm miraculously healed and all you stunning people have magical powers?” (Nirat Anop)
2. Clary: “Give me five minutes. I have to get dressed.” Simon: “Dressed? What are you doing undressed in an abandoned church? Clary, is there a meth problem we have to talk about?” (Nirat Anop and Dahne)
3. Clary: “Simon, how could someone as smart and perceptive as you not realize the person sitting right there is in love with you?” Simon: “I guarantee you I'm not the only smart, perceptive person to make that mistake.” (Nirat Anop)
4. Isabelle: “I love you Alec, but you have a switch that’s always on.” Alec: “I love you too.” (Nirat Anop)
5. Clary: "Would you two stop making me feel insane please?" Maureen: "Would you stop acting that way?" (Dahne)



The Shannara Chronicles -
1. Amberle: "You're braver than you look." Wil: "Don't mistake terror for bravery."
2. Wil: "That wasn't even close to a fair fight." Eretria: "Well the world isn't fair."
3. Allanon: "Everything, all of this, is not happening because of you. It is happening to you and the sooner you accept that the better."



Teen Wolf -
1. Sheriff Stilinksi: “I would destroy every piece of evidence to protect you. I would burn the whole Sheriff's station to the ground." (Nirat Anop, and Dahne)
2. Stiles: “I feel like it's more than guilt though. I feel like I lost something, you know? I feel like I can't get it back.” Sheriff: “You won't, not entirely, but you get a little bit by forgiving yourself. And since that's not always the easiest thing to do, maybe you start by forgiving someone else, someone who probably really needs it.” (Nirat Anop and Dahne)
3. Sheriff: "Stiles, I can't protect you if I don't know the truth. Did you really feel like you couldn't tell me?" Stiles: "I couldn't tell anyone." Sheriff: "Honestly, did you think that I wouldn't believe it was self-defense?
Stiles: "But what if it wasn't? What if I told you I wanted him dead?" Sheriff: "I'd believe you. I also believe that wanting someone dead and murdering them are two VERY different things." (Dahne)
4. Stiles: "And what about upholding the law? What about Kira?" Sheriff: "Kira was a mistake. I guess I'm learning how to bend." Stiles: "So what? It just goes away?" Sheriff: "Not for you. Problem now is how to bear this burden. This kind of thing is not at all uncommon in law enforcement - a fatal mistake, a partner who dies, one who gets paralyzed. Stiles, you carry that with you and sometimes it doesn't truly feel okay again until there's…there's a kind of counterbalance." Stiles: "Like what?" Sheriff: "Like instead of taking a life, you manage to save one. Something like that can help, maybe only for a moment. Look the real conflict you're having now is between your head and your heart. Your head…your head knows that the only crime you committed is surviving but your heart…your heart still thinks it was murder. So I guess you…uh, you've got to get your heart to catch up to your head." (Dahne)
5. Stiles: "I still hate that tattoo." Scott: "I know." (Dahne)
6. Scott: "We need help. If Theo's got his own pack now, then we need ours and we have to get the others back." Stiles: "The others? You mean Kira who's currently battling a homicidal fox spirit inside of her, Malia who isn’t even speaking to either one of us, Lydia who's stuck in Eichen House, and Liam who almost killed you?" Scott: "Also known as our best friends." (Dahne)
7. Scott: "What did you do?" Theo: "Found some new friends. I don't take rejection well." (Dahne)



Younger -
1. Diana: "Honestly, it's like you've got some form of literary Tourette's."
2. Liza: "Have you ever heard of punctuation?"
3. Liza: "Okay, what just happened there?" Maggie: "That's your daughter having a life. I suggest you do the same."
4. Liza: "Okay, can we stop doing the math now?"

Previously: Jordan and death held hands, Lydia's mom was tricked into admitting Lydia into Eichen House, Valack drilled Lydia's head and exposited the steampunk scientists' new pet, and Hayden came back for more Liam time.

Making her police rounds at night, my opinion of Deputy Red Shirt (DRS) plummets. First she drives Hayden to work, which means she knows Hayden works at the underage drinking club. Nice job upholding the law there. Not that Hayden wins any awards either because she says she's been with Liam to excuse being gone for 3 days. How exactly does that make things better? Hayden, I expect better lying from you. DRS agrees, "Which doesn't improve your argument. Maybe you think you can do your own thing now. I don't care. You still need me. We look after each other, remember? For all I know, you could have been dead." Wink-wink. See, what they did there. Sigh. Then DRS responds to a missing deputy call with her sister in the car, and does NOT wait for backup. Seriously, are all cops in Beacon Hills suicidal? Why would anyone ever check out anything without a small army and Kevlar everything? As if DRS poking around abandoned places at night by herself isn't bad enough suddenly Liam pops, scaring Hayden and annoying me with his mere presence. He's been trying to talk to Hayden. She's been ignoring him and weirdly blames him for her death. Look, I don't like Liam but that's nuts. Chill out, princess. Their conversation is thankfully cut short because La Bete, aka the Beast of Gevaudan, aka the cheesiest CGI on Teen Wolf so far, wants to play tag. DRS races out, warning Liam and Hayden to run but since even the deaf could hear it grunting, they already are. Being Teen Wolf, they run right towards a chasm. Facepalm. Hayden tells Liam to leap even though it is way too wide. Hayden clears it with no problem; Liam barely hangs on so he…pulls her down too? Huh? Hayden, being rightly ticked, punches Liam into consciousness and provides vicarious fun for the audience. Liam however can't move because his back is broken. Hayden shrugs it off and leaves him, causing me to wonder and laugh. Liam: "Are you gonna just leave me here?" Hayden: "You pulled me off a cliff. I'm lucky I healed." Ha! Hayden says Theo saved her and then heads off to find her sister.

For reasons unknown, the story switches from the biggest beast in Teen Wolf history to Tracey and Theo killing the driver who barely lived when she killed her dad. Perhaps the point was to show Tracey as a cold-blooded killer but we kind of already knew all that. So, filler. To fulfill the phone product placement quota, Parrish shows Scott a video of the scene we just saw, confirming La Bete is indeed the last chimera and checking out the scene together. They find nothing useful so more filler. Parrish questions why la Bete killed a random dude instead of Liam (I might have just added that) and Scott surmises that it’s a mindless killer. Say it isn't so! Beasts with no brain/no plan are only entertaining for a short time before they bore me. I'll take Theo instead. Scott: "Parrish, how many bodies do you actually see when you dream about the nematon?" Parrish: "Everyone." To quote Parrish, "That's terrifying." But it does make for one cool graphic. Heading home, Scott channels his inner Stiles and creates his own Wall of Weird, using only red string. Unfortunately that string hooks on his jacket and when he pulls it, the entire thing falls down. Oh Scott, you and Stiles really need to make up. Like now. Why don't you head over to the hospital where Stiles is sleeping? He must be exhausted because that chair looks highly uncomfortable. I guess with all the building damage, Beacon Hills Memorial can't afford comfy furniture. None of that matters because Sheriff is missing. Again. Oh, no, no, no. I just got Sheriff back so he's off limits, Jeff Davis. Stiles is equally startled but somehow tracks Sheriff to the morgue. How? Who knows? Maybe those wonky werewolf senses have now transferred to Stiles. He finds his father standing over the body of yet another dead deputy. At the morgue comes one of the best scenes Teen Wolf has ever done, right up there with the "You're my brother" speech in Motel California, the MRI scene, and "Be your own anchor." It's an instant classic and the most beautiful scene of the night.

It's so touching that I'm including all of it verbatim so you can sniffle too. Sheriff: "The story Theo told me about the library, that's how it happened except it didn't happen to him." Stiles hangs his head: "Yeah." Sheriff: "Stiles, I can't protect you if I don't know the truth. Did you really feel like you couldn't tell me?" Stiles: "I couldn't tell anyone." Sheriff: "Honestly, did you think that I wouldn't believe it was self-
defense? Stiles: "But what if it wasn't? What if I told you I wanted him dead?" Sheriff: "I'd believe you. I also believe that wanting someone dead and murdering them are two VERY different things." Stiles: "Yeah well, what if the judge didn't think so?" Sheriff: "Then the hell with the judge. Stiles, it was self-defense and I would destroy every shred of evidence to protect you if I had to. I would burn the whole sheriff's station to the ground." Stiles: "And what about upholding the law? What about Kira?" Sheriff: "Kira was a mistake. I guess I'm learning how to bend." Stiles: "So what? It just goes away?" Sheriff: "Not for you. Problem now is how to bear this burden. This kind of thing is not at all uncommon in law enforcement - a fatal mistake, a partner who dies, one who gets paralyzed. Stiles, you carry that with you and sometimes it doesn't truly feel okay again until there's…there's a kind of counterbalance." Stiles: "Like what?" Sheriff: "Like instead of taking a life, you manage to save one. Something like that can help, maybe only for a moment. Look the real conflict you're having now is between your head and your heart. Your head…your head knows that the only crime you committed was surviving but your heart…your heart still thinks it was murder. So I guess you…uh, you've got to get your heart to catch up to your head." Stiles: "I feel like it's more than guilt though. You know I feel like…uh, I feel like I lost something. You know I feel like I can't get it back." Sheriff: "You won't. Not entirely, but you get a little bit by forgiving yourself and since that's not always the easiest thing in the world to do, then maybe you start by forgiving someone else, someone who probably really needs it." Stiles: "Someone like Scott."

By the time father and son hug, I'm a mess. Oh, these two touch my heart. Team Parent rocks the world. Kudos to Linden Ashby for completely selling this scene. It's about time someone told Stiles the things he needs to hear. It's about time Stiles lets someone in to tell him. Happy, heartfelt sigh, especially since it leads to the restoration of the Scott-Stiles bromance. While at the morgue, Scott came by and overheard the middle of their conversation but backed away. Therefore it's up to Stiles to make the first move of reconciliation. Wisely the Teen Wolf producers understand we need time to process that Sheriff and Stiles scene so it's off for more filler. Theo tracks DoucheChimera to Sinema (burn it down already!), where he's been trying to get high/drunk to no effect. At least this part of canon is solid. Theo juices him with a car battery instead and viola, new addiction. It's completely pointless except that Liam oversees it. So yeah, filler. Argent also gets his pretty yellow flower out of the family safe, sparking me to wonder how any plant survives in a safe, even one with UV lighting. Then I realize even with Argent around I don't care, so moving along to…the Desert Wolf storyline. Woo hoo! Scott tries to get Malia back into the pack, putting aside past differences. Which were what exactly? Scott and Malia were solid in 5A until she pulled away. Malia flat out refuses to help. "I'm talking about something that's going to happen. Something I'm going to do and you're not gonna like me much after I do it." Scott: "Is that why I hear 2 other heartbeats in there, why yours is beating so fast?" Malia: "Scott, go home. I can't help." Realizing something big is happening, Scott…goes home? My head hits the desk, realizing this is exactly what got them all in trouble in 5A. Urgh! Malia goes inside where Braeden pins down an ex-Russian soldier. He vows that they cannot torture him into talking. So they give him $10,000. Ha! Brilliant! He tells them that the Desert Wolf is holding Deaton hostage. Who? Oh yeah, Deaton. Kind of forgot about him, just like everyone else it seems.

Liam and Mason meanwhile freak about chimeras being back, although math and Hayden should make it less astonishing. They run into Screamer, who does his civic duty by helping to fix that poor library. The structural damage seems fixed and it explains why the books have no organization at all. In Beacon Hills, they just randomly put them on shelves. To get answers about Theo's undead pack, Mason stumbles through a conversation with Screamer until he asks Mason out on a date. Mason feels he's done his job but Liam wants more info. Mason: "Sorry but Theo leading an evil chimera pack wasn't exactly a natural progression to the conversation." Ha! While they argue, Screamer leaves and hides from Theo. No dice. Theo calls him out and tells Screamer that he no longer has to be a nice, normal guy. Oh, Theo. Screamer refuses to hurt anyone and Theo assures him that it's more about protection. Of course he uses the threat of Screamer dying again to make his point so yeah, not so reassuring. Looking for Screamer, Liam realizes he left with Theo and Mason insists they tell Scott. Since the last time they met Liam tried to kill Scott, he's naturally hesitant. Liam: "You think he'll even talk to me?" Mason: "You're his beta. Doesn't he have to?" Liam: "Where would I even start? Sorry for trying to kill you? Sorry for leaving you for dead so that Theo could kill you?" Mason: "If you start off with sorry, the rest probably won't even matter." Since it's Scott, Mason's right. Anyone else would punch Liam in the nose just like Hayden, who pouts at the police station while DRS logs paperwork declaring a monster's loose in Beacon Hills. A totally new deputy thinks she's nuts. Doesn't matter. He'll be dead before the week is out. Welcome to Beacon Hills, sir. As Hayden waits, she chats with Theo by the newly fixed jail cell. Got to hand it to the Beacon Hills construction crews. They've fixed a lot of damage in a short amount of time. Theo demands Hayden tell him about La Bete and says she can't hide from anything from him. Keeping the pack through intimidation, that's Theo's style.

Meanwhile back at the hospital, Stiles sees yet another body come into the morgue so he borrows Sheriff's laptop while he's sleeping. Sheriff: "Is that my laptop?" Stiles: "Yep." Sheriff: "You got my password?" Stiles: "I have all your passwords." Ha! Sheriff seems surprised, but who's he kidding. This is Stiles. He snoops with the best of them. Sheriff wants Stiles to back off but again, it's Stiles. He realizes something's wrong about the same video footage Scott looked at earlier. Stiles: "I think there's some footage missing. There's something missing in the footage." Sheriff: "I think there's something missing in your head." Bwah! Sheriff grabs for the laptop but Stiles is faster. "You need your rest." Ha! How the tables have turned. Not so much for Lydia though, who's still catatonic in Eichen House. She envisions leaving the crummy room she's in and heads to the room where she saw her dead grandma. Something covered in blood (or black goo - it's hard to tell) crawls out of the bloody tub towards her. Trapped, she realizes that it's…Meredith. Wait, Meredith? Say what? Meredith: "Don't be afraid." Um Meredith honey, your bloody corpse is freaking terrifying. Of course she's going to be afraid. Meredith tells Lydia to wake up because if she doesn't everyone will die. No pressure there. Lydia doesn't feel up to the challenge but apparently Meredith came back to be Lydia's Creepy Yoda and teach her the ways of the banshee. Huh? So dead Meredith is going to teach Astral Plane Lydia how to use her banshee scream as a weapon and possibly how to kick butt like the 5A opener? Huh? Yeah, I don't get it. This falls under the "check your brain at the door and go with it" category. At least Lydia is going to be kick butt again, so there's a future wish list item to be checked off.

So is saving the bromance. As Scott patches up his still not healing wound, Stiles walks in. Scott asks why he's there and Stiles shares the same CGI scene we've seen thrice now. Scott's just stunned Stiles came over. "You want my help?" Stiles: "Yeah well, you said you can find the clues that I can't." And with that the bromance is back. Yes! Woo hoo! About time! I love the brothers working together, solving Beacon Hills' most dire threats. Rewatching the video, Stiles points out that the chimera never enters the building. Smart! They check out the crime scene and notice blood pooling underneath a set of fallen lockers. Scott tries to pull it up but his werewolf strength fails so Stiles helps. Aw, again the brothers working together always warms my heart. They find a sewer entrance and follow the mercury trail to where the episode title is drawn on the ground. La Bete can read and write? Hmm. Scott wants to take a picture of it but Stiles is injected with kanima venom again by Tracey. He has to hate kanimas by now. Still he yells out a warning to Scott, who takes down Tracey and Douchey with hardly any effort using their chimera attributes against them. He forces Tracey to claw Douchey with her kanima claws while Douchey shocks Tracey unconscious. And just like that Scott wins a fight. Woo hoo! It's about time they remember Scott is an alpha and should be able to defeat all lesser problems handily, including a bunch of newbie chimeras and Liam. Speaking of, he seems to think Scott will be at Deacon's. Ha! When's the last time Scott has actually shown up for work? I swear Deaton pays him to be a werewolf these days. Since Scott isn't there, Hayden shows up to commence their love struck romance. Blech. She's now up on the whole Liam killing Scott thing but since the music's talking about screwing with people's heads, I can only hope she's playing with him under Theo's orders because that would make this drippy scene more interesting in retrospect. Hayden says Liam is the only thing that feels right and they kiss while my eyes roll. Scene please.

Back to the action, Screamer wants nothing to do with the fight so Theo steps in to talk alliance. "Okay maybe they're not ready to take on an alpha, especially one that can smell fear." Screamer: "He's got fangs." Scott: "What did you do?" Theo: "Found some new friends. I don't take rejection well." Ha! This is why I love Theo. No villain speeches, just a snarky one-liner. Theo: "You're going to leave here thinking that you need to worry about me but you're wrong. We're actually back on the same side, because that thing…that's what we need to worry about - your pack and mine. We're gonna go back to school and pretend like we're normal teenagers but at night, we're gonna be fighting for our lives." Anyone NOT see this alliance coming? Didn't think so. As Theo leaves, Scott props up a still paralyzed Stiles, who exposits the title because he suddenly knows Latin? Okay. Damnatio Memoriae means that this chimera is actually the resurrected Beast of Gevaudan, which we already knew. No need to explain the titles anymore, Teen Wolf. Since I guess old is even more terrifying, Argent visits Gerard who should have died 3 seasons ago. Seriously if he's not beheaded by the end of 5B, my head will explode. Argent feeds him the pretty flower (yellow wolfsbane to be exact) and doing so cures Grandpa Evil. I call so much foul on this that everyone's kicked off the field. If that's all he needed, no way he couldn't have just bought it himself a few season's ago. Urgh, urgh, triple urgh! Basically he exposits that yes it is the same La Bete the Argent family killed years ago. Good, then use the same strategy as back then and end this storyline now. What? Not gonna happen? Sigh. Die, Grandpa Evil.

At least the situation makes Scott even more determined to get the pack back together. Scott: "We need help. If Theo's got his own pack now, then we need ours and we have to get the others back." Stiles: "The others? You mean Kira who's currently battling a homicidal fox spirit inside of her, Malia who isn’t even speaking to either one of us, Lydia who's stuck in Eichen House, and Liam who almost killed you?" Scott: "Also known as our best friends." Bwah! How sad, how true. As a show of unity, Scott makes the first circle of the new pack sign while Stiles and I pretty much think it's cheesy. Stiles: "You're not seriously gonna make me do it." Scott: "You're part of the pack, right?" He is and so Stiles draws the outer circle as my heart leaps for joy that they are united once more. It even outweighs this goofy symbol. Scott helps Stiles up and as they leave the sewer, Stiles speaks for the audience. "I still hate that tattoo." Scott: "I know." They walk arm in arm, Stiles leaning on Scott for strength as the kanima venom wears off. Just as I am content to leave the episode on this happy note, the scene changes to an undetermined desert where Kira and Mama Fox stop. Woo hoo again! Nice to have you both back. Apparently they are searching for skinwalkers. Why? Who knows? Mama Fox exposits skinwalker lore as arms pop out of the sand. Now that's some terrifying entrance. The skinwalkers don't look particularly happy to see them, so Mama Fox tells Kira to take out her sword. Kira does with flourish, although for some reason Mama Fox doesn't bring out one herself. I'm guessing this is more about the sword than wielding it but we'll have to wait until next time. I'm very interested about the skinwalkers' role in curing Kira's inner Firefox or maybe even helping take down La Bete. Surely that beast will require all hands on deck. Just not Kate. Please.

In all honesty if the only thing that happened in this episode was Sheriff Stilinski's speech and Scott and Stiles fixing the bromance, I would be happy. Sheriff said everything right, just what Stiles needed to hear. I'm glad he didn't say that everything would go back to normal but acknowledged that accidentally killing Psycho had changed Stiles for good. I hope they follow up on this with Stiles in a way they did NOT after VoidStiles. Not only does it make sense, but it will also allow Dylan O'Brien to get some meaty material again. Fixing the bromance is #1 on my wish list so having it happen so quickly is a dream come true. I'm good with slowly getting back the rest of the pack "one by one" as long as the foundation is steady. Scott and Stiles still need to talk about what happened to Psycho, as it will be cathartic for Stiles to explain and have Scott understand. I'll be sorely disappointed if we don't get to see that scene, especially since it will give Tyler Posey a chance to work his acting muscles too. Plus the more bromance the better. This episode didn't leave out the ladies either. The promise of Lydia becoming a kick butt warrior and Kira's plotline with the skinwalkers are pure bonus, while watching Malia and Braeden working together brought the comedy. As always I could have left Liam, Mason, and Hayden out of the mix altogether but even they aren't as bad as Grandpa Evil showing up on my screen again. That man has to die this season. No exceptions, no coming back from the dead. All in all this episode did a great job of setting up all the different plotlines, but I am worried that once again they are biting off too much at once. With the steampunk scientists, Theo, the chimeras, Grandpa Evil, La Bete, Lydia's Eichen House stay, Malia's decree against her mom, and Kira's skinwalkers, there's too much on the plate as it is. Time to cull the stories and bring everyone in to focus on one big goal, which at this point needs to be ending that terrible CGI they call La Bete.

Grade: B+

Best Reason to Watch - the bromance is back
Best Scene - Sheriff and Stiles talk about what happened with Psycho, guilt, forgiveness, and a parent's love
Best Character - Sheriff
Best Moment - Scott and Stiles lift the locker together
Best Awww Moment - Stilinski family hug
Best Hashtag - #ScilesIsBack
Best Return - Kira and Mama Fox
Best Entrance - the skinwalkers
MVP - background music, especially when Meredith rises from the bathtub
Worst Motivation - Theo always threatening while telling his pack that he's protecting them
Worst Supernatural Side Effect - banshee nightmares
Worst CGI - La Bete
Worst Teen Wolf Trope - explaining the episode title
Most Creepy - bloody bathtub Meredith
Most Pointless - Tracey kills the guard, Donavan Donati
Most Recapitation / Biggest Product Placement - the video of La Bete
Biggest Huh? - So what exactly happened once Parrish went to Eichen House? Did they forget about it or was that another flash forward?
Biggest Foreshadowing??? - Why does the orderly think Lydia is dangerous? She's been catatonic the whole time.
Biggest Question - Who wrote the title on the sewer floor and why?
Biggest Laugh - After the Soviet says they cannot torture him into talking, he totally spills for money
Biggest Surprise - When did Stiles learn Latin?
The "Well Duh" Award - of course Stiles knows all his dad's passwords
The "I'm with Him" Award - While I admire DRS' desire to be honest, I have to go with Random Deputy here. Turn in an official police report talking about monsters and even in Beacon Hills, you're therapy bound.
The "It's Not Working" Award - the more they talk about La Bete's history, the more it makes my eyes roll



Screencaps by BuddyTV, Teen Wolf Wikia, TV Fanatic, Whedonopolis, The Geekiary, Cogitary, See Next, Really Late Reviews, TV Equals, Hypable, Pinterest, Teen Wolf Tumblr, Iconosquare, and Forever Young Adult

Hello and welcome back to Last Week in TV, where we are heavy on pilots this time. I apologize for the lack of reviews for most shows in this article. I got significantly behind this week and decided to focus on episode awards instead. It was either that or delay the column until next week and next week's column is already going to be packed with the CW and Agent Carter returning. I also substituted the nominated episode for Oh My Venus because marathoning this show took up most of my TV time, but I will definitely review Friday Night Lights next week. If you would like to nominate a show, please fill out the short 2-question form below. Until next week, don't forget to comment below and happy TV viewing.










Oh My Venus - 16 episodes - found on Drama Fever or Hulu

Oh My Venus is my first foray into Korean TV. On paper, I should hate this show. It's basically a love story complete with love triangles, women fighting over a man, and all the other things my anti-shipper heart hates. Even worse is the culture shock in which the male lead tells the female male lead that her body is his so she can't say no and no one bats an eye about it. Granted, it wasn't sexual in nature. He's her personal trainer, but still. Another culture shock item was how subservient everyone except the grandmother was, mostly females but also the youth and anyone is a lower position of power in any way. For me though the best cultural difference with American TV was the lack of anything sexual on screen. Whenever characters have sex, and it's not very often considering they barely even kiss, it's always under the covers or off screen. Oh My Venus is about a female lawyer who used to be famous for her beauty as a girl but has since gained a lot of weight. On a flight she passes out and is taken care of by a handsome doctor, who then cannot rest until he sees her safely off. He officially becomes her personal trainer after she finds her boyfriend cheating on her with her new boss and former friend. Yeah, I know. The premise sounds terrible and if I had read it before watching the pilot, I never would have seen it. Instead I jumped in feet first after it was recommended by Merry Merino, whose tastes are similar to mine.

Boy am I glad I did. I sacrificed sleep for this show. Immensely marathon-able, the characters are vibrant and well-thought out. Just when you get frustrated with a character, they do something surprisingly sweet or a piece of their back story is revealed to help you understand why the character acts like they do. In fact the only characters I did not warm up to are Head Douche (evil uncle), Power Grandma (ruthless), and Stalker Girl (too crazy). The rest made me fall for them even when they occasionally made me want to Gibbs' slap them. (For goodness sakes Young Ho, let Joo Eun help for once!) Best yet, just when things hit their melodramatic peak, the show goes for a lighter touch in another part of the story to give the story hope. And that's what the whole thing is really about - hope and believing in yourself with a whole lot of hard work thrown in. Episodes 8, the first part of 9, and 13 are about as emoangsty as it gets and yet episode 9 turns into some of the most hilarious flirting known to television. I laughed out loud in every episode and often more than in my current batch of comedies. I also awwww-ed like a crazy person in several scenes. In fact, this show even made me tear up in two particularly heartbreaking moments. In 2 days, I feel like I have spent a lifetime with these characters and it was worth every moment. If all Korean TV is this good, I've found a new obsession. I highly recommend giving Oh My Venus a try, although like every show, it won't be for everyone. Just know that as a staunch anti-shipper I was rooting for more than one pair to make it. As someone concerned with the way women are portrayed in TV, I saw strength in subservience and respect with genuine affection beyond the words being said even if parts made me very uncomfortable. As someone who prefers action sequences over character studies and melodrama, I was drawn in by superb pacing even in the most ludicrous plot twists and consider the one big action sequence a low point of the series. As a cynic, this show warmed my heart and I'm just sorry that the experience has ended. Do Korean rom-coms get second seasons?

Grade: A
Ranking: 5+
TV Show Formula - TV rom com + 50's sitcom with a dash of Pride and Prejudice
Audience - anyone who does NOT mind subtitles, is okay with culture shock, and likes strong, funny, characters with a healthy helping of melodrama thrown in

Best Reason to Watch - the characters
Best Character - Kang Joo-Eun, whose determination and overall quirkiness makes her fun to watch
Best Continued Theme - the dimple
Best Subplot - Joon-Sung's search for his mother
Most Loyal - Jin-Ho, who does more for the family than anyone else and is seldom thanked for it
Most In Need of Better People in Her Life / Most Sympathetic - Hye-Ran keeps getting treated like dirt even though she is the most hardworking and most sincere person in the show. I wanted to Gibbs slap everyone for treating her with such disrespect, especially Power Grandma.
Most Annoying Character - Hye-Ran's evil, greedy brother who is one of the few characters that never improve
Most in Need of Getting Over It - Soo-Jin
Most Improved Character - Woo -Sik
Most Fun Character - Ji-Woong, who provides the comedy and the enthusiasm in every episode
Least Fun / Most Melodramatic Episodes - 8 and 13
Worst Subplot - crazy stalker actress
Best Quotes -
1. Joo-Eun: "In fear of becoming unhappy in the future, we shouldn't choose to be unhappy this moment."
2. Woo: "Santa Claus sure knows how to maximize, seriously. You got such a big present for crying all year round."
3. Joo-Eun: "Nothing is certain in life. We could even stumble when walking."






Criminal Minds – 11.11 – Entropy
BY Emma

We left for the winter hiatus with Garcia in protective custody but with hope that the team had found the break it needed to crack this case. The title of this week’s episode, “Entropy”, is defined as the lack of order or predictability, a gradual decline into disorder. Not only is it the only physics concept I understood, it’s an apt description for this episode and the entire Dirty Dozen story line. After a several episode break to see his mom, Reid is front and center in this operation. While Reid may be the point game player in this chess match, the team was essential in making this plan work. Cat knew he would have a couple agents in the restaurant for back up so JJ was the obvious spot. Rossi was not as obvious but could be discovered if need be because Lewis and Morgan served as the “sleeper” back up. Reid and Cat’s game of twenty questions results in Reid telling the team (and us) about his mom’s new diagnosis. As someone who has a family member with dementia, Reid’s sorrow, pain and fear were spot on – Mathew Gray Gubler gave one of his best performances in this episode but in this scene, he knocked it out of the park. As the operation appears to be falling apart, Reid plays his trump card, which in the end, was one masterful play since the whole thing was a lie. Our favorite team is victorious again but it’s the hilarious and touching team moments at the end that really have the most meaning. Garcia is safe and celebrates with Jagermeister and Reid executed his best game since “Zugzwang” with the love and support of his friends, no matter what his future brings.

Grade: A+

Best Reason to Watch – wrap up the Dirty Dozen story line
Best Scene – Morgan/Reid hug
Best Character Interaction – Cat and Reid
Best Villain – Cat Adams
Best Way to Get a Hit Man to Turn on You – hire them to kill your pregnant wife
Best Surprise – Cat wasn’t fooled by the BAU and has set a trap of her own
Worst Surprise – Reid’s mom was diagnosed with dementia
Most Satisfying Moment – Cat realizes Reid lied
Best Takedown – Morgan grabs the arsonist’s phone to disable the bombs and Lewis slams her head into the bar before cuffing her
The “Welcome Back” Award (character) – Savannah
The “Welcome Back” Award (actress) – Aubrey Plaza from Parks and Recreation

Best Quotes
1. Cat: “Do you like games?” Reid: “I do.” Cat: “Do you win?” Reid: “I always win.”
2. Lewis: “Guess again, bitch.”
3. Reid: “She has early onset dementia. Most likely Alzheimer’s.” Cat: “You test yourself? No, you didn’t. You were too scared.” Reid: ”I thought I dodged a bullet when I turned 30 and didn’t have a schizophrenic break like her, but this is somehow bigger and scarier because I can actually see it happening. All the memories we used to share are just dying. I can’t stop it. I can’t help her. All I can do is find people that I can help.”
4. Drunk Garcia: “And you, I should be jealous of you because you’re so hot but I’m not. I’m not I promise. I promise I’m not. No I’m not, because all I feel in here is love. I am full of love. So much love I’m wearing too many clothes”.
5. Morgan: “Hey kid, can I tell you something? I just um…” Reid: “Yeah.” Morgan: “You know.” Reid: “I know. I know.” Morgan: “Good, cuz I mean it.”






Colony - 1.01 - Pilot

Colony has the bones to be a really good sci-fi show. Well, once you know for sure that aliens have taken over. Halfway through the pilot, I still wasn't sure if it was aliens or some other nation with better drones that invaded. If you expect this to be like V with spaceships and aliens roaming the earth, you'll be sorely disappointed. Instead the only thing close to a spaceship here is a beam of light going from earth to the clouds. The main antagonists are humans who are collaborating with the alien takeover and are used as the military and police forces to subdue the rest. There's also a resistance movement that seems relatively small. The majority of the people don't seem to like either side and just want to get enough food to feed their family and to avoid the Factory, which is being sent to the alien planet presumably as slave labor. Or maybe food. We don't know enough about these aliens, the invasion, or the rest of the world to be sure. This is one show that is less focused on world building in the pilot and it works in some ways better than others. By not setting up the invasion, it allows us to get to know the characters first and it keeps a steady pace. The world is revealed as they go through their daily life. That makes it more interesting but it was also more confusing. I have a feeling that the aliens here are going to be a lot like the people going missing in The Leftovers. It's the framework of the story but it is never really addressed in its own right. What works better is the concept of husband and wife working at cross-purposes. Of all the pilots this week, Colony is the most intriguing and has the most potential.

Grade: B+
Ranking - 4+
Audience - people who like their dystopia more recognizable and those who love a good resistance story

Best Reason to Watch - husband and wife are working on opposite sides
Best Scene - Will sneaks into the Santa Monica zone, only to have the truck carrying him blow up
Best Character - Katie
Best World Building - there's no traffic in LA at all because everyone is on bicycles
Biggest Commodity - coffee and apparently eggs
Least Surprising - Katie is working for the resistance
Most Kick Butt Moment - Katie pulls a gun on the scam artist and refuses to trade / Drew punches the bully in the nose
The "Well That Didn't Go as Planned" Award - I guess you can't prepare for a bombing when trying to rescue your son
The "Welcome Back" Award - Josh Holloway from LOST and Intelligence / Sarah Wayne Callies from The Walking Dead and Prison Break / Peter Jacobson from House / Paul Guilfoyle from CSI / Jason Butler Harner from The Blacklist

Best Quotes -
1. Will: "How do you do it, Snyder? Slap on a suit and smile and d** over your own kind." Snyder: "I'm doing what anybody with a brain would do in this situation. I'm taking advantage of my opportunities."
2. Snyder: "Good things come to the loyal."
3. Spider: "Two kinds of guys roll through here. Guys running to something. Guys running from something. Which are you?"
4. Katie: "I'm with you."
5. Katie: "The Occupation just hired my husband to hunt us down."



Idiotsitter - 1.01 - Pilot

This pilot is better than I thought it would be. It's just not good. For a comedy it felt like an hour long, mostly because half the episode is a party scene. Since that scene is neither funny nor entertaining, it drags on for an eternity. More appealing is Gene surprisingly. She is vulgar and obnoxious to be sure, but her underlying need for her dad's approval gives the character more heft than I was expecting. She's not a complete brat; she's got a good heart but she's an idiot, plain and simple. Billie is equally stereotypical as the nerd who never has fun. I think both actresses could overcome the limits of their characters but it easy to see that the humor is going to be far too broad and slapstick for me.

Grade: D
Ranking - 2
Audience - anyone who likes slapstick

Best Reason to Watch - um, Billie and Gene make convincing Odd Couple-type roommates
Best Scene - Gene convinces Billie to stay
Worst Plan - breaking Gene's hand to keep her from going to prison
Biggest Filler - the never-ending party that takes up half the episode
Least Surprising - they get Billie wasted
Most Overused Word - fresh
Most Disgusting - a partygoer vomits on Billie
Most Generous - Gene, who gives out money like a party favor
The "Welcome Back" Award - Stephen Root from Newsradio and well, basically everything

Best Quotes -
1. Billie: "Look, I am not Patrick Swayze, Gene. I'm the older disapproving sister who never did another movie."
2. Billie: "You've got a gun?" Ting: "Don't worry. It always jams." Billie: "You're terrifying."
3. Kent: "It makes me uncomfortable when people tell me things I already know about myself."
4. Billie: "I'm quitting." Gene: "What? Why?" Billie: "Because you gave me a date rape drug and put me in a coma."
5. Gene: "If you love me, if you're my best friend, you will break my hand." Billie: "I just met you."
6. Gene: "Call me Beethoven 'cause I can't hear you."



Second Chance - 1.01 - Pilot

Second Chance started off rocky for me and I have a feeling whether I continue to watch or not will rest solely on how much I like the Jimmy character. If he's cranky to everyone, didn't learn from his past mistakes, and becomes a vigilante, then I won't make it past 3 episodes. If he shows that he's capable of change and makes an effort, it might be my second sleeper show of the year. It is lovely having Tim DeKay back on my screen again although I am afraid he's been typecast. He's playing basically the same role as he did in White Collar. The relationship between Otto and Mary may end up being one of the better parts of the show as well, depending on how its developed.

Grade: C+
Ranking - 3+
Audience - people who like under-the-radar sci-fi shows like Intelligence

Best Reason to Watch - the concept of memory transfer into another body
Best Scene - Jimmy saves his son on the bridge
Best Job Perk - that sweet, sweet ride
Biggest Hmm - I'm confused. Did they grow a new body and transfer the memories in or did they steal 2 corpses?
Least Surprising - the procedure comes with unexpected side effects
Most in Need of a Gibbs' Slap - Mary even more than Otto because she keeps asking questions without giving Sheriff any vital info like that they switched his body
Most Intriguing Character - Otto
The "Welcome Back" Award - Tim DeKay, my beloved Peter on White Collar, playing a similar character if Neal had been actively working against him / Ciara Bravo from Red Band Society / Derek Webster from The Night Shift and The Whispers
Best Quote - Duval: "Until I figure out what you want, it's best you don't mention my family."



Shades of Blue - 1.01 / 1.02 - Pilot / Original Sin

Shades of Blue is a decent show…for someone else. Mostly it just bored me. Don't get me wrong. The acting is good for the most part and the writing is decent so I wouldn't expect the story to unravel under its own canon. The problem is that not one of the people involved is remotely moral enough for me to root for. I do feel some sympathy for Harlee and how she got involved with this group, but everyone is a world-class douche. That's especially true for the FBI agent who is using Harlee to take down Woz. To be honest, he reminds me of Mike from Graceland and there are few protagonists I dislike more than him. In the end, this is a show badly in need of a twist because otherwise it gets lost in the hundred dirty cop sagas before it.

Grade: C
Ranking - 2
Audience - those who like serialized police dramas where everyone is dirty

Best Reason to Watch - the acting
Best Back Story - Harlee's abusive ex-boyfriend
Best Silent Moment - Harlee breaks down while breaking the car
Best Speech - Tess gets Loman to go along with her story
Worst Subplot - Tess' husband, who may or may not be cheating on her
Biggest Idiot - Earl
Biggest Douche - Take a pick. Even the non-corrupt are complete douches. Looking at you, Agent Stahl.
Biggest Tell - Harlee runs her fingers through her hair when she's lying, which gives her away to Woz
Biggest Surprise - the Internal Affairs guy is leading the big score
Least Surprising - the bookie is an FBI agent / Woz chooses Harlee to trust
Most Desperate - Harlee burns herself in order to pass the polygraph test
Most Heartbreaking - Harlee's conversation to her daughter before being polygraphed
The "Welcome Back" Award - Warren Cole from White Collar and Stalker / Jennifer Lopez from movies / Ray Liotta from movies / Drea de Matteo from The Sopranos / Otto Sanchez from Burn Notice

Best Quotes -
1. Tony: "Yeah, it's a 'we're happy you're not dead' thing." Tess: "Oh, is that why we're clapping? I thought it was because she finally showed up."
2. Marcus: "I know the politicians and the crybabies that want to stand along the sidelines and criticize how we do our job never had to do our damn job or had the sack to try. Listen you ain't hearing me. The public don't give a damn about your vulnerability in the street. That's not interesting. What it feels like to bust through that door. You think they care? All that matters is that you get home the same way you showed up."
3. Harlee: "I always told myself that the end would justify the means, but now that I'm at the end I can't justify anything."
4. Cristina: "What kind of look are we going for?" Tess: "Wholesome and honest." Cristina: "Get a new wardrobe."
5. Woz: "When I told you to show the kid the ropes, I assumed you'd work your way into shootouts."
Harlee: "Never thought much of training wheels."



Shadowhunters - 1.01 - Pilot

I am not a fan of the Mortal Instruments books. I found them too teen-oriented for me with their love triangles and Clary was only a step above Bella Swan in her emoangsting. After seeing this pilot, I don't hold out much hope for this series either. I'm not saying that Clary doesn't have every right to act like a scared child, screaming, crying, and whining in confusion. She does. Her life sucks. I'm just not sure I am up for watching it. Plus she would find out a WHOLE lot more if she would stop interrupting everyone as they are trying to explain. As for the rest of the crew, they are fairly stereotypical for the YA genre. There's Jace, the self-absorbed tough guy who love to break the rules but has a heart of gold just waiting for the heroine to find and develop. Simon is the jealous best friend with a crush and a brainiac. The three form the first love triangle. Then there's the rocking feminist Isabelle whose comfort with her own body only means that they can dress her in ever more skimpy clothing. She's the world-wise to Clary's waif. Rounding out the pack is Isabelle's brother Alec, the straight and narrow one who won't accept Clary and will make bad choices because of it. All of them have questionable acting moments and the CGI varies in quality, but it should fit well on ABC Family, or whatever they're calling themselves these days.

Grade: C
Ranking - 2+
Audience - anyone who liked the books or typical YA supernatural romances

Best Street Smarts - Maureen, who realizes something's up with Clary's family
Best Character (so far and not for long if they follow the books) - Simon
Best Nostalgia - Forever Young
Worst Plan - waiting until your daughter's 18th birthday to tell her the truth about her legacy because you are guaranteed to die right before then
Worst Boss - Valentine, whose employees have a high death rate, mostly from him
Most Useful Accessory - bracelet whip
Biggest Facepalm - the club Pandemonium actually blinks Demon
The "Please Shut Up" Award - Why are you all babbling, crying, and apologizing when you should be straight up giving information? Seriously, give the info people need to live and then talk about how much you love them.
The "You Learn Something New Every Day" Award - apparently demons love blondes
The "Welcome Back" Award - Isaiah Mustafa from the Old Spice commercials

Best Quotes -
1. Clary: "Would you two stop making me feel insane please?" Maureen: "Would you stop acting that way?"
2. Simon: "Dressed? What are you doing undressed in an abandoned church? Clary, is there a meth problem we've got to talk about?"
3. Clary: "I'm not interested in being a part of your supernatural Fight Club. I just want to find my mom."
4. Alec: "Why do they want blood? Isn't that vampire territory?" Jace: "I don't know, Alec. Lazy vampires maybe?"
5. Clary: "You also follow Simon?" Jocelyn: "He only has 92 followers. He needs the retweets. Congratulations." Clary: "Thank you, #StalkerMom."





The Big Bang Theory - 9.13 - The Empathy Optimization

Grade: B

Best Reason to Watch - Sheldon grows up a little bit
Best Scene - Sheldon apologizes to Leonard and vows to fix things with the rest
Best Speech - Sheldon's last apology to Emily
Best Character - Amy
Best Reaction - the guys to the girls talking comic book movies
Best Plan - Amy avoids Sheldon when he's sick by staying at a conference even after it's over
Biggest Facepalm - Sheldon's apology t-shirts
Fastest Way to Get Your Apology Accepted - threaten to give it via the pan flute / do it while people are in the shower
Most Annoying - Sheldon when he's sick, who is even worse than normal
The "Oh My Eyes" Award - I really do not need to see Stripper Raj, ever

Best Quotes -
1. Amy: "Why don't you tell me what happened and in a gentle, loving way I'll explain to you why you're wrong?" Sheldon: "Well you know how when you're sick you're allowed to be cranky and say whatever you want and other people's feelings don't matter?" Amy: "Oooh, gentle and loving. This is going to be tricky."
2. Sheldon: "Oh I've been on a little trip myself recently. Not to Sin City but to Sincere City, where instead of genital warts the only growth you'll come back with is personal growth."
3. Amy: "Great, now try it as if this isn't your first day as a person."
4. Sheldon: "Hey, if you didn't know Bruce Willis was dead the whole time that's not on me."
5. Amy: "Oooh I just heard something. Might be hail. Might be gunfire. Either way I'm going to go take pictures. Bye."



The Blacklist - 3.10 - The Director: Conclusion

So ends the very best mytharc The Blacklist has ever had. In fact, it's one of the best mytharcs I've seen on any show. At the risk of repeating myself, it was pure genius to break Liz down so much that she had to rely on Reddington and their mismatched team. It was even better than not killing off Tom, who was mostly sidelined in this episode. However Ressler made up for that. I still think the previous episode was better, especially in its pacing, but this one delivered too. My biggest concern though is where the story is headed now. Usually shows take down their Big Bad in the season finale, not episode 10 and especially not a couple weeks after midseason hiatus. Will the remainder be taking out Hitchlin or is Reddington playing a much deeper game?

Grade: B+

Best Reason to Watch (episode) - the Director is dead but Hitchin stays alive for Ressler to take down later
Best Reason to Watch (season) - all the characters are the best they've ever been
Best Scene - Reddington vs. Hitchlin phone call
MVP - the music
Best Return - Mr. Kaplan
Best Plan - keeping Ressler as a field agent instead of on a desk job
Biggest "Oh Yeah Right" Award - there is no possible way there would not be reporters hanging around trying to get the first glimpse of Liz set free
Biggest Hmmm - Why is Reddington having drinks with Hitchlin?
Biggest Previously / Biggest Filler - Red's opening exposition
Biggest Surprise - Liz is now a consultant instead of an agent, which is still generous considering she did kill the guy
Biggest Hypocrite - Hitchlin
Most Excitable - Aram
Most in Need of Teamwork Lessons - Reddington
Most Irksome - every time someone hints that they know the relationship between Reddington and Liz, they end up dead
The "And They All Went to Jail" Award - I think every single person in this episode has committed a crime in the last 2 weeks
The "Say What?" Award - Reddington is spending a fortune for a one-day plan

Best Quotes -
1. Reddington: "Ah, the sound of acquiescence."
2. Mr. Kaplan (at Navabi pulling out the weapons she's carrying): "My kind of girl."
3. Director: "I know who you really are, Raymond. Who you are to her and I know why you did this. Does she?" Reddington: "I can't think of even one set of circumstances in which that would be any of your business."
4. Gerard: "Good night, it's not the Hope diamond. Steal the damn thing." Kaplan: "And while I'm at it, shall I smile for the security cameras?"



Code Black - 1.12 - The Fog of War

Grade: C+

Best Reason to Watch - If you are into deep melodrama and emoangsting, this is the episode for you. It's too much for me.
Best Scene - Carla holds her baby
Best Character Interaction - Christa and Lily
Best Plan - Christa has Lily use the lights to signal for help
Best Friend - Angus for being so concerned about Mario
Best Choice for a Father Figure - Guthrie
Biggest Crisis of Conscience - Mario / Heather . Rorish
Most Stubborn - Carla will not die in order to protect her baby
Most Annoying Subplot - the husband holding the doctors hostage
Most Melodramatic - Carla and Malaya's pregnancy drama
Most Convenient - amnesia after holding two people hostage and shooting yourself
The "At Least He Tried" Award - Mario tries to tell Heather to stay away for Angus' sake but that resolution goes away fast when she doesn't agree
The "Say It Isn't So" Award- no love triangles ever please
The "Say What?" Award - Cole is just suddenly gone from the show as quickly as he appeared

Best Quotes -
Best Quotes -
1. Rorish: "I don't know what you think you know but you don't." Jesse raises his hands. Rorish: "Shut up."
2. Hudson: "That is insane." Perello: "I completely agree, Dr. Hudson." Hudson: "I said it was insane. I didn't say we weren't doing it."
3. Malaya: "Carla, listen to me. We're both stubborn as hell and we're both powerful women. I need you to be powerful and stubborn right now and hang on just a little more. I need it for you, for me, and for Phillip."
4. Angus: "Is this the part where you tell me about my confidence?" Guthrie: "You already found that as a doctor. You just feel the fear and do it anyway, but you already knew that." Angus: "Maybe I just needed to hear it. Thanks, dad." Guthrie: "You're welcome, son."
5. Neal: "You always taught me that the only thing worse than a lack of confidence is overconfidence. I'm glad we saved one. I'm just not sure that makes us right."
6. Mario: "Did you say Doc McStuffins?" Heather: "Yeah, she's a cartoon character that operates on her toys." Mario: "Oh. You probably shouldn't have told me that." Heather: "Why?' Mario: "That's all I'm going to call you now."



Cooper Barrett's Guide to Surviving Life - 1.02 - How to Survive Insufficient Funds

I'm not a big fan of the lovable idiot trope. Generally I want to Gibbs' smack them and tell them to grow up. In this case the idiot trio aren't even lovable and since I didn't laugh once in this episode, it's time to drop this show. Life's too short to watch TV that only makes your eyes roll.

Grade: D
Status: Dropped

Best Reason to Watch - character interaction
Best Characters - Josh and Leslie
Best Guest - Paula Abdul
Biggest Moocher - Cooper and friends
Least Surprising - they did NOT rob a bank
The "Way to Make Things Even More Weird" Award - Leslie and Josh are deep into "foot in mouth" territory
Best Quotes -
1. Cooper: "Hey Josh, what are you up to?" Josh: "Oh well, you know, Leslie called Kelly a whore, I touched her boob, she doesn't want to have sex with us, but I think Brinley's into it."
2. Cooper: "And after rent and the fine from the city, we should have enough for Neal's boss' divorce."



CSI: Cyber - 2.11 - 404: Flight Not Found

My interest in CSI: Cyber is largely determined by the case of the week and this one was good. I like how the central mystery of why the plane went missing became apparent midway, allowing for a good twist. The fact that the assassin could crash the plane at any moment gave the episode the intensity it needed. Still the best thing about this episode was definitely Artie. He's the kind of fun, quirky character that lifts the whole mood if used in moderation. I'm so glad they made him a consultant so we can get more time with him. In fact, I am good if he takes DB's spot permanently. Points deducted though because much of it made no logical sense whatsoever.

Grade: B-

Best Reason to Watch - the countdown makes the case more intense
Best Scene - the pilot kills the plane computer and has to try to level off the place
Best Twist - the hijacking is actually a witness protection murder
Best Plan - making Artie a more regular part of the show
Biggest Huh? - If a gang knows what murder was witnessed and they know the person was at their home, how much of a mystery can it be who the witness is, especially when the pool of people to choose from is a dozen? They can't find an old yearbook? And as someone who used to watch In Plain Sight, there is no way in Hades that Mary or Marshall would allow a federally protected witness on stage in a national interview. What the heck, people?
The "Say What?" Award - How exactly does a plane go missing over land?
The "Welcome Back" Award (character) - Artie
The "Welcome Back" Award - Dameon Clarke from Supernatural and Graceland

Best Quotes -
1. Artie: "What did I miss?" Nelson: "I don't know but I love it when he's excited about this."
2. Nelson: "And no one's defecting from Florida to Rhode Island. I doubt it's political."
3. Avery: "Are you asking me on a date?" Artie: "Well you're a powerful, beautiful woman. You bet I am."



Elementary - 4.08 - A Burden of Blood

Grade: B

Best Reason to Watch - the Bell subplot
Best Scene - Nolan's interrogation
Best Friend - Sherlock and Watson find a way for Bell to earn the money he needs without having to step away from detective work
Best Face - Bell's completely uninterested in Sherlock's teaching via dummy
Best Twist - the victim is a serial killer's daughter and she was murdered in the same way he did
Best Reaction - Sherlock to Bell coming down from Joan's room when he got home
Most Touching - Clift keeps his dead mother's picture on his desk
Least Surprising - the brother did it
Least Ethical - Joan goes through the doctor's computer after she told her that she wasn't going to break doctor-patient privilege
The "Say What?" Award - He killed his sister because she was going to keep her baby? That makes no sense.
The "Welcome Back" Award - Noah Bean from Nikita and 12 Monkeys / David Alan Basche from The Exes

Best Quotes -
1. Bell: "You realize most of this won't even be on the exam." Watson: "We don't believe in teaching to the test."
2. Sherlock: "I was mistaken. You don't know what my partner looks like naked." Bell: "Speak up, would ya'? I don’t think the guys in the cell heard you."
3. Sherlock: "You're lying. Do it again. Tell us where you were Monday night." Warren: "I was at home with my wife." Sherlock: "I can't accept an alibi from anyone with that particular hairstyle."
4. Sherlock: "I suppose it's the classic romantic trope. Boy kills girl. Girl's son pursues boy's daughter. His intentions entirely pure." Watson: "Purely homicidal maybe." Sherlock: "I do hope that Mr. Clift has located his attorney because I'd really like to speak to him again."
5. Sherlock: "You have my full support. Anyway I can always use friends in medium places." Bell: "Well hey, as long as it helps you."



Galavant - 2.03 / 2.04 - Aw Hell, the King / Bewitched, Bothered, and Belittled

Remember when Galavant was silly, snarky fun? Not so much this week. My biggest problem lies in Isabella, of course. I can't think of a worse way to bring the leading lady back. First she's some emoangsty teenager wallowing over her relationship. Then she turns into a brainless stooge in a plot ripped straight out of a Grimm and OUaT crossover. Remember when Isabella was the brains of this group? Oh, forget it. There were some highlights, mostly in the form of Madalena, Gareth, and Sid. The rest not so much. I need them to either kill the Izzy subplot quickly or spend the majority of the time in Valencia. And stop with the drippy songs. Bring back the catchy ones.

Grade: C+ / B

Best Reason to Watch - Madalena and Gareth
Best Speech Maker - Richard
Best Meta - the crowd points out that Galavant's mission is much like season 1
Best Catch - Galavant keeps a dagger from going through Richard
Best Song - Build a New Tomorrow
Best Drippy Song - What Am I Feeling
Worst Subplot - Isabella turns into an emoangsty teen instead of the superior woman she was in season 1 and then she turns into a brainless bride. Thus she went from fabulous to annoying in one episode flat.
Nicest Gesture - Gareth slices the ears off of the queens who made fun of Madalena
Biggest What the Heck - How exactly did they repurpose the castle?
Biggest Hint a New Character will be Evil - if their name sounds evil like say Wormwood, they will be too
Most Sympathetic - surprisingly King Richard's song about not having any job now is touching
Most Tiresome - Gwen's difficulty in adjusting to castle life / everything Izzy
Most Missed - the Richard and Gareth bromance
Most Like Season 1 - "Serenade (Maybe You Won't Die Alone)" is the snarky kind of love song that made "Maybe You're Not the Worst Thing Ever" such fun
Most Likely to Channel Her Inner Ghostbusters - Isabelle
The "Please Shut Up" Award - Richard pretty much tells the other knight to steal from them
The "Maybe It's a Job Thing" Award - If Gareth is turning into a child as king too, maybe Richard came by it honestly?
The "I'm with You" Award - Isabella makes great points about how insane wedding plans are

Best Quotes -
1. Magdalena: "Do you know what happens when a queen loses her beauty sleep?" Sid: "She can sleep in later because she's a queen and she can do whatever she wants? Magdalena: "She could get a wrinkle and if she gets a wrinkle, she'll make sure you get a wrinkle…on your neck. I'm sorry. I'm not being very clear. I'm really tired. What I'm trying to say is that if you don't fix it I'll cut your throat, okay? Nighty night."
2. Mayor: "If on every single note we simply took a vote, we'd build a new tomorrow here today." Galavant: "So the butcher gets a vote?" Mayor: "Yep." Richard: "The baker gets a vote?" Mayor: "Yep, and everyone who couldn't vote before." Blacksmith: "Except of course the women." Baker: "And we won’t let him or him in." Mayor: "We mean everybody else…" Tailor: "Except the poor." Galavant: "Progressive for the Middle Ages."
3. Richard: "Well we should probably go, I stole these horses and just set fire to the rec center. Dismantle my castle, will you?"
4. Galavant: "Why don't we go for dinner tonight, hmm? Somewhere candlelit." Richard: "Hmmm. So…anywhere." Galavant: "Yeah, pretty much anywhere at all."
5. Mayor: "Though I can't imagine a free people ever voting to send an army into an open-ended foreign conflict which profits only the few. That would be madness."



The Goldbergs - 3.12 - Baio and Switch

Grade: B

Best Reason to Watch - Murray gives Adam the best advice
Best Scene - Adam walks into the dance with both Emmy and Dana
Best Save - Adam apologizes to both Emmy and Dana in the most heartfelt manner
Best Speech - Coach pep talks Beverly
Best Reference - Alyssa Milano, KITT
Funniest Reference - the big cell phone
Biggest Face palm - Barry thinks Ben Franklin was president
Biggest Nostalgia - My Girl Scout troop traveled to fill in an empty spot for Hands Across America. It was a crazy, big deal then.
Biggest Laugh - Beverly substitutes Baio for Ben Franklin
Most Obvious Answer - Why doesn't David Kim go with one of the girls? He doesn't seem to have anything to do at this dance.
Worst Advice Ever - Pops tells Adam that he should take 2 girls to the dance and not tell either
Weirdest Relationship - Murray and the dog
The "Welcome Back" Award - Mirsky and Dana
Best Music - Heaven is a Place on Earth by Belinda Carlisle

Best Quotes -
1. Murray: "You know what I think?" Adam: "Yes, I'm a moron. I get it." Murray: "No, I don't think you do. When I say 'Don't be a moron,' it really means something." Adam: "You mean beyond just being rude and insulting?" Murray: "Yeah that's just part of it, but it's my way of saying be honest, be a good person. That's how I live my life and you know what? It works." Adam: "So how do I make it up to Emmy and Dana?" Murray: "That's easy. Don’t be a moron."
2. Beverly: "I want to help with Hands Across America." Coach: "Okay." Beverly: "And by help I mean push you aside and take over entirely."
3. Coach: "We can't compete with Philly. Philly is the Paris of Pennsylvania."
4. Mirsky: "Did you make me the Hulk?" Adam: "Yes, but only because I don't like you when you're angry."
5. Murray: "Hey, how you holding up?" Adam: "Well I've got no girlfriend, no best friend, and no feeling in both hands so not good."




iZombie - 2.10 - Method Head

Grade: B

Best Reason to Watch - things are heating up for Blaine now that Dale and Clive's cases intertwine
Best Scene - Vaughn threatens to serve his lead doctor to the zombies in order to test Major
Best Exercise - digging holes in a field
Best Reaction - Liv to Clive saying that she can come along on the case
Best Acting - Clive and Liv get the murderer to confess with their charade
Best Reaction - Clive to the actor's emotional tribute to the dead guy
Best Timing - Vaughn starts walking like an Egyptian right after I saw Scorpion, where they talked about walking like an Egyptian (so it's only funny to me, moving along)
Best Twist - Major is using the Fit Bit band to listen in on Vaughn. Smart!
Biggest Awww - Clive lets Liv work on the case with him
Biggest Product Placement - Fit Bit
Biggest Mooch - Clive at the food services table
Most Talented - Liv
Most Laughable - whatever weird chicken dance Blaine was doing
Least Surprising - the flash drive given to Major was just a test of loyalty
Best Gag - all the Christmas puns from everyone
The "Well That Got Heavy Quickly" Award - apparently Clive and Dale are hot and heavy

Best Quotes -
1. Major: "I got you a little something, Liv." Liv: "Ah. Oh, Zombie High the complete second season." Ravi: "What's my gift?" Major: "Not having to watch that."
2. Ravi: "No spoilers. I'm only halfway through season 2." Liv: "I thought you hated the show." Ravi: "I did but it's like mental pork rinds. I can't stop."
3. Major: "You really need to work on the whole good news concept."
4. Ravi: "She's seen every episode…like on purpose."
5. Zombie #1: "We should cut him some slack. At least Wyatt talks to us unlike our dear departed Marlon Brandouche."
6. Zombie #1: "You know what would be fun? A zombie show where the zombie's the star." Clive: "That's dumb."



The Shannara Chronicles - 1.03 - Fury

After a promising start, The Shannara Chronicles falls prey to classic teen quest angst. Amberle is the reluctant hero who has to be persuaded the entire time that she is indeed a super special snowflake and only she can save the day. Plus she's an irritating brat. The combo is not pretty. Eritrea and Amberle spitting at each other the whole time was less than fun too. Then add in the fact that they still aren't anywhere near the actual quest. At least Wil was a little better so there's that but for the most part this episode needed a swift kick in the pants. Good thing episode 4 gets them back on track. Could we please stop this dreaded love triangle before it really kicks in though? Please!

Grade: C-

Best Reason to Watch - getting closer to the quest
Best Save - the demons, who keep us from the Amberle and Eretria teen junk
Best Job Perk - Allanon's druid position comes with magical healing powers
Best Entrance - Allanon beheads the demon
Worst Ride Ever - Wil gets dragged along by Eritrea's henchmen
Least Likely to Follow a Direct Order - Wil…or maybe Amberle…no, Eretria. Actually all of them. Urgh!
Biggest Tell - Wil's ears
Most Irritating - Eretria's dad and Amberle
Most Interesting - Bandon
The "We Don't Have Time for This" Award - Amberle, I realize this is all a shock but there is no time to for you to brood. There's a tree to save.

Best Quotes -
1. Amberle: "You're braver than you look." Wil: "Don't mistake terror for bravery."
2. Wil: "That wasn't even close to a fair fight." Eretria: "Well the world isn't fair."
3. Allanon: "Everything, all of this, is not happening because of you. It is happening to you and the sooner you accept that the better."
4. Allanon: "Blaming yourself is worthless. The stones are his burden to bear."



Teen Wolf - 5.12 - Damnatio Memoriae

Grade: B+

Best Reason to Watch - the bromance is back
Best Scene - Sheriff and Stiles talk about what happened with Psycho, guilt, forgiveness, and a parent's love
Best Character - Sheriff
Best Moment - Scott and Stiles lift the locker together
Best Awww Moment - Stilinski family hug
Best Return - Kira and Mama Fox
Best Hashtag - #ScilesIsBack
Best Entrance - the skinwalkers
MVP - background music, especially when Meredith rises from the bathtub
Worst Motivation - Theo always threatening his pack while telling them that he's protecting them
Worst Supernatural Side Effect - banshee nightmares
Worst CGI - La Bete
Worst Teen Wolf Trope - explaining the episode title
Most Creepy - bloody bathtub Meredith
Most Pointless - Tracey kills the guard, Donavan Donati
Most Recapitation / Biggest Product Placement - the video of La Bete
Biggest Huh? - So what exactly happened once Parrish went to Eichen House?
Biggest Question - Who wrote the title in the sewer floor and why?
Biggest Laugh - After the Soviet says they cannot torture him into talking, he totally spills for money
Biggest Foreshadowing??? - Why does the orderly think Lydia is dangerous? She's been catatonic the whole time.
Biggest Surprise - When did Stiles learn Latin?
The "I'm with Him" Award - While I admire DRS' desire to be honest, I have to guy with Random Deputy here. Turn in an official police report talking about monsters and even in Beacon Hills, you're therapy bound.
The "Well Duh" Award - of course Stiles knows all his dad's passwords
The "Half Naked Boy Alert" Award - it's Scott's abs for the eye candy tonight
The "It's Not Working" Award - the more they talk about La Bete's history, the more it makes my eyes roll
Best Music - "Bada Boom, Bada Bling" by Caleb Hawley / Exorcism by Clairity

Best Quotes -
1. Sheriff: "The story Theo told me about the library, that's how it happened except it didn't happen to him." Stiles hangs his head: "Yeah." Sheriff: "Stiles, I can't protect you if I don't know the truth. Did you really feel like you couldn't tell me?" Stiles: "I couldn't tell anyone." Sheriff: "Honestly, did you think that I wouldn't believe it was self-defense? Stiles: "But what if it wasn't? What if I told you I wanted him dead?" Sheriff: "I'd believe you. I also believe that wanting someone dead and murdering them are two VERY different things." Stiles: "Yeah well, what if the judge didn't think so?" Sheriff: "Then the hell with the judge. Stiles, it was self-defense and I would destroy every shred of evidence to protect you if I had to. I would burn the whole sheriff's station to the ground." Stiles: "And what about upholding the law? What about Kira?" Sheriff: "Kira was a mistake. I guess I'm learning how to bend." Stiles: "So what? It just goes away?" Sheriff: "Not for you. Problem now is how to bear this burden. This kind of thing is not at all uncommon in law enforcement - a fatal mistake, a partner who dies, one who gets paralyzed. Stiles, you carry that with you and sometimes it doesn't truly feel okay again until there's…there's a kind of counterbalance." Stiles: "Like what?" Sheriff: "Like instead of taking a life, you manage to save one. Something like that can help, maybe only for a moment. Look the real conflict you're having now is between your head and your heart. Your head…your head knows that the only crime you committed was surviving but your heart…your heart still thinks it was murder. So I guess you…uh, you've got to get your heart to catch up to your head." Stiles: "I feel like it's more than guilt though. You know I feel like…uh, I feel like I lost something. You know I feel like I can't get it back." Sheriff: "You won't. Not entirely, but you get a little bit by forgiving yourself and since that's not always the easiest thing in the world to do, then maybe you start by forgiving someone else, someone who probably really needs it." Stiles: "Someone like Scott."
2. Scott: "What did you do?" Theo: "Found some new friends. I don't take rejection well."
3. Scott: "We need help. If Theo's got his own pack now, then we need ours and we have to get the others back." Stiles: "The others? You mean Kira who's currently battling a homicidal fox spirit inside of her, Malia who isn’t even speaking to either one of us, Lydia who's stuck in Eichen House, and Liam who almost killed you?" Scott: "Also known as our best friends."
4. Mason: "Sorry but Theo leading an evil chimera pack wasn't exactly a natural progression to the conversation."
5. Stiles: "I still hate that tattoo." Scott: "I know."
6. Scott: "You want my help?" Stiles: "Yeah well, you said you can help find the clues that I can't."



Younger - 2.01/ 2.02 - Tattoo You / The Mao Function

The bottom line for the 1-hour premiere of season 2 is that if you liked the first season, you're going to love these episodes. Season 2 starts with Liza getting ready to welcome Caitlin back but torn on whether she should tell her daughter the truth or not. She decides to postpone the big conversation, which comes back to haunt her later on. The first episode works best when it focuses on Maggie and Liza's relationship anyway. Maggie is a rock of support and common sense for Liza through her big misunderstanding with Josh, whose plotline pretty much sucks here. It would be nice if he had any part where he doesn't look like a hot idiot. Luckily Kelsey fares better. I love the idea of her getting a promotion and a whole lot more responsibility. I'd love to see Hilary Duff have more to do on the show and this seems like a step up.

Grade: B

Best Reason to Watch - the characters
Best Scene - Charles and Kelsey talk promotion
Best Speech - Josh about trusting their friends with her secret
Best Moment - Liza tucks in a sleeping Caitlin
Best Mean Girl - Diana has the dentist transferred to Time-Warner customer service instead of Charles' office
Best Job Promotion - Forget the money. Charles gives Kelsey her own imprint, proving that he has faith in her.
Best Use of the Truth - Liza gets an unwanted suitor to leave her alone by telling him that she has a daughter in college
Worst "Date" - Diana and Charles
Worst Liar - Josh, who is three light bulbs short of a foursome when Lauren grills him
Worst Return - Thad
Biggest Eyeful - Lauren, walking around naked / Caitlin sees Liza and Josh making out
Biggest Say What? - Why is Liza mad at Josh for doing his job? Be mad about the misunderstanding, sure. Be mad that he gave a tattoo to a paying customer? I don't think so.
Biggest Face Palm - Liza takes Josh's text to mean they are breaking up and not that he has to work late. Even I knew what he was trying to say and I'm older than Liza.
Biggest Griller - Lauren
Most Likely to Kill the Mood - Josh with his references to Liza's age every 10 seconds
Most Accurate - sick lit
Most Mature Point of View - Josh counsels Liza to tell Kelsey the truth so neither of them have to lie anymore
Most Grey Area - usually I am a proponent of the truth being better than secrets in TV life but given the way Caitlin responded to Josh, I'm not sure she could handle the truth (Jack Nicholson voice)
The "Hope That's Not True" Award - Kelsey practically writes the book for the author
The "Please Stop Talking" Award - Liza, you're never going to figure out what's going on with Josh if you keep talking over him
The "Make Lemonade" Award - at least a broken tooth lead to a book deal

Best Quotes -
1. Diana: "Honestly, it's like you've got some form of literary Tourette's."
2. Liza: "Have you ever heard of punctuation?"
3. Liza: "Okay, what just happened there?" Maggie: "That's your daughter having a life. I suggest you do the same."
4. Liza: "Okay, can we stop doing the math now?"
5. Maggie: "Hon, let's never stop lying to each other. Okay?"
6. Liza: "And then she said that I was having a midlife crisis." Maggie: "Your crisis was your boring life before this.

It's a new episode so we've got a new Bingo card ready.  You can play online, print out a few choices, or create your own.  It's just as fun and half the danger of a drinking game.  Or as Merry Merino does it, mark a square and eat a cookie.  Newly added space - Mason finds important info.  If you have other suggestions, comment below or tweet me @dahne1.


Bingo Card Links:

Online
Set of 8
Make Your Own

Previously on Younger - Liza's college aged daughter came back from an extended sojourn in India and was conveniently shipped off to her father's so that Liza won't have to deal with her double life at home too. Josh struggled with lying to their friends about Liza's age and encouraged her to tell Kelsey the truth because he's suddenly the much needed moral center of the show. Liza agrees to talk to Kelsey but before she can spill about her true age, Kelsey gets a promotion to run her own imprint for millennials. She asks Liza to join her team and is so excited about them being 26 year olds running things together that Liza chickens out.


For the most part, this episode is laid out in 3 parts. The "A" story is about Kelsey getting ready to prepare for the biggest night of her professional life, the launch party for Millennial Imprints. That entails sending out a press release, getting a high fashion makeover, hosting all the top social media gurus in NYC, and preparing the perfect speech - none of which go off without a hitch. When the press release is picked up on Gawker, Kelsey's confidence takes a tumble. The comment session quickly becomes a flame war, which basically plays on all of Kelsey's insecurities. She goes from being proud of making it so young to doubting her ability to take on so much responsibility. Liza's got a big workload too as Diana makes it clear that Liza is first and foremost her assistant and everything she does for Kelsey is secondary. Being no stranger to juggling two identities, Liza manages both sides of her job like a pro and in the best scene of the night, pep talks Kelsey into giving it her all. I love the dynamics between Kelsey and Liza even more this year and I'm glad they are getting extended screen time together. They are the best thing about this episode.


The "B" story consists of Josh getting cold feet in their relationship again. This storyline is stale for me because it feels like we've already been there. Josh is terribly disappointed that Liza is still lying to Kelsey and wants to take a break to try to sort through the complications of their dating. Liza agrees to give him some space but Maggie is not as tolerant, which brings in the "C" story of Maggie being broke. When a client reneges on a commissioned piece, Maggie has to turn to alternative means in order to make that month's rent. This is the least interesting part to me but her solution is in character and I have a feeling others will like it more than I do. Other segments of the episode include the return of Lauren's parents, Thad as his usual douchey self, more Charles love triangle, and a major Fit Bit product placement.


Grade: A- for the main story, C for the rest

Best Reason to Watch / Best Character Interaction - Liza and Kelsey
Best Scene / Best Speech - Liza encourages Kelsey
Best Surprise - Josh
Best Reaction - Josh to the guy asking for directions
Best Reference - Bechdel test
MVP (actor) - Hilary Duff
MVP (character) - Liza
Most Realistic Melt Down - Kelsey
Most Uncomfortable - talking about three ways and anal sex in front of someone's parents
Most Reasonable - Josh doesn't want to spend hi s time lying to his friends
Biggest What The Heck - Kelsey actually wears…
Biggest Creeper - Lauren's dad / Maggie's….
Biggest Hmm - Maggie's speech to Josh
Biggest Eye Roll - Lauren
The "Learn Something New Each Day" Award - ghosting
The "Welcome Back" Award - Lauren's parents



Quotes -

"Babe, you're not a millennial.""Yeah well Dr. Dre's not a doctor."
"Josh doesn't lie. That's one of the beautiful things about him I'd really like to change."
"People think I'm on house arrest. It ups my cool factor.""Very Martha Stewart. Point me towards the alcohol."
"Liza, I feel like such an imposter.""So do I every single day."
"They hate me too!"
"We all used to lie and eat gluten and smoke cigarettes and hang up on each other. Remember that?""Yeah, now people just eat kale and tell the truth.""A-holes."
"Well it seems like you've got this all covered. If anyone needs me, I'll be in my crypt."





Screencaps by TV Line and the official home page

Welcome back to Last Week in TV. It's a full network schedule for me with the CW coming back and Agent Carter's second season debut. Some of the returns were better than others. Still over all it was a positive TV week for me. How was yours? The nominated episode this time was Friday Night Lights'"The Son" and it had me tearing up with its excellent acting and angsty topic. Next week will be Outlander. I have seen the first half of season 1 but after hearing how…um, intense the second half was I never caught up. This will be a good taste of whether I should add the show back into my summer marathon list. If you would like to nominate an episode, please fill out the short 2-question form below. Nominated episodes are picked by a random number generator. So until then, tell us your TV awards from last week and what you agree and disagree on and as always, happy TV viewing.










Friday Night Lights - 4.05 - The Son

Wow! That was a powerful, powerful episode full of angst and heart and impressive acting. Zach Gilford plays a young man whose military father dies in combat, forcing him to confront his feelings over a man who was barely in his life. In what must have been a harrowing episode to shoot, Gilford shows the hypocrisy of funerals, hatred for absentee fathers, pain at losing a father no matter how distant, and even pride for the sacrifice his father made even if he was one of those sacrifices. It's a lot of emotion to process in 42 minutes and Gilford sells every part of it. I barely even know this character and he still had me sniffling, especially his breakdown over dinner at the Taylor's. It was hard to see that pain on the face of a kid just trying to make it in the world. Matt has had a hard life already but it seems like he's made it through with a fairly good attitude and to watch him break once again was hard on my heart. As for the other characters, I didn't really know many of them since I've only seen season 1 of Friday Night Lights and that was half a decade ago. I remember Tim and Matt from then and of course the Taylor adults but not much else. In fact I might be confusing part of it with Varsity Blues. Wasn't one of these kids seriously injured in the pilot? I liked the new kid, Vince, and feel sorry for him too but I think Friday Night Lights is a show best watched in order. I was largely confused about most scenes and I feel there's some tension between Taylor and Matt that I didn't notice before. Perhaps it's because Matt seems to be dating his daughter. Other than that, I have zero idea why all these best young football players in the state are still doing in Nowhere, Texas. Shouldn't they being playing college ball someplace right now?

Grade: A (for acting) / B+ (For the episode mostly because I don't know the back story about the characters enough to really connect to their pain, except for Matt. You'd have to be dead not to feel for Matt.) /
Audience - for this one, anyone who likes to cry in TV and watch a young man show some powerful acting / for season 1, anyone who likes small-town drama with a family center

Best Reason to Watch - Zach Gilford, who portrays Matt beautifully
Best Scene - the Taylor family dinner where Matt breaks down
Best Awww Moment - Eric holds his daughter while she cries and reassures her
Best Acting - Zach Gilford, who nailed the part of a grieving and angry son
Best Negotiator - Tammy makes sure Matt does not get ripped off by the funeral home
Best Reaction - Matt shuts the door in the boosters' faces
Best Surprise - they actually pray after the game
Best T-Shirt - Draft beer, not people
Worst Idea in the History of Forever - Tim suggests they go to the funeral home to open the casket
Biggest Heartbreak - Matt in the funeral home / Matt at the table
Biggest Huh? - Does Matt not have a mother? Why is Tammy picking out his dad's casket with him? I'm so confused but I feel sorry for this kid.
Biggest Douches - Luke's so-called friends
Most Powerful Scene - Matt fills in the dirt on his dad's coffin
Most Bizarre - the names that pop up on the credits aren't the people on the screen at that time
Most Mature - Matt gives a fantastic eulogy even though he couldn't stand the man
Shortest Speech Ever - Vince
The "Poor Baby" Award - Matt
The "Life Sucks" Award - Vince has to be the adult in his family
The "Come On, Man" Award - Coach Taylor, you're an educator. Give that kid a hug. He desperately needs a hug and some words of comfort. Man up.
The "What the Heck?" Award - So the kid plays high school football. You check his id. It says he's old enough to buy beer. You sell him beer. Something doesn't add up here at all.
The "Welcome Back???" Award - Michael B. Jordan from Creed / Aimee Teegarden from Star-Crossed / Dora Madison from Star-Crossed / Alicia Witt from The Librarians and Justified / Minka Kelly from Almost Human

Best Quotes -
1. Matt: "I don't like being rude. I think I'm just having a moment here. Um, I just…I'm just having a moment. I don't think I'm okay. I hated him and I don't like hating people, but I just put all my hate on him so that I don't have to hate anybody else. So that I can be a good person. You know to my grandma, to my friends, to your daughter. That's all I want to say. I just want to tell him to his face that I hate him but he doesn't even have a face."
2. Cheryl: "I really don't care if you are hauling pieces of Jesus' cross back to Bethlehem. You promised her you were going to be here and you are going to be here."
3. Matt: "I've got to get up there in front of everybody and say good stuff about this man and all I really want to say is, 'Here lies Henry Saracen. His mother annoyed him, his wife couldn't stand him, and he didn't want to be a daddy so he took off to be in the Army because that was the only way you could come up with to get out of here and ditch all your responsibilities and no one could call you out on it. And that worked out great so you just decided to enlist 4 more times and that ended up getting you killed. And now here you are and all you got left, all you left behind is a mother with dementia, a divorced wife, and a son…who delivers pizza. Thank you for coming 100 people I do not know.' And you know what the worst part is? Even if I did get up there and say that, even if I finally did like say all that to him, I don't even know if I'd be saying it to him because I don't even know if he's in that damn box. It's a closed casket. For all I know it's someone else. It's someone funny or a bunch of rocks. I don't even…"
4. Landry: "Are you really reminiscing about 3 years ago?"
5. Car Thief: "You see a new car. Think it's sharp. Think it's fly. You need to walk away." Vince: "Walk away? Why?" Newbie Thief: "Oh it's cause they've got that low jack, man." Car Thief: "Man, we in west Texas. Ain't nobody got no low jack."






Teen Wolf - 5.13 - Codominance

Have I said how much I love this season? I have? Well I do. This episode is no exception and the reason is still the bromance. I adore how Scott and Stiles each made their confessions to each other. Stiles telling Scott about Psycho was exactly what I wished for last episode. I am a little sorry that it was cut so short and it did not go as deeply as I wanted but it was great to hear Scott tell Stiles that he understands self-defense is different than murder. It was important for Stiles to hear that from his best friend and now I hope that Scott can help Stiles deal with the aftermath. Equally as powerful was Scott telling Stiles that he wished he had been the one to take a life. Scott has always been very empathetic so this sentiment is perfectly in character but it also showed that Scott is not as naïve as he's previously been portrayed. He knew this day was coming. Another plus to this episode was how kick butt Kira was. It was great to see Mama Fox and her again, especially when she took out the Oni. Malia rocked the episode as well giving the best vicarious thrills when she punched Theo over and over again. Someone needs to make a video of all the times Theo and Liam have been punched so I can play it on loop during frustrating days.

Grade: B+

Best Reason to Watch - more bromance time
Best Scene - tie - Stiles tells Scott about what happened with Psycho / Scott tells Stiles that it should have been him
Best Character Interaction - Scott and Stiles
Best Entrance (possibly in the whole show) - Scott jumps out of the Jeep and rolls into battle growling
Best Reaction - Stiles' look when the Jeep actually starts running
Best Way to Shut Theo Up - La Bete entrance
Best Call Back to an Earlier Season - the initials on the library shelves
Best Parenting Move - Mama Fox when she told the walkers they could take Kira over her cold, dead body
Best Visual Shot - Kira walking down the hill to her mother with the Oni mask in her hand
Worst Impression of a Dead Character - Lydia walking around barefoot like some Kali wannabe
Least Unaware - hey, at least one teacher realizes that Scott, Stiles, and Lydia are all gone on the same day
Most Smug - Theo, smirking at an irate Liam
Most Kick Butt - Kira
Most Done with All of It / Most Cathartic - Malia taking down Theo, punching him over and over again
Most Consistent Tell - Stiles starts tapping his fingers when he's nervous
Most Unfair - whenever Kira slices the Oni, she's the one that gets the wound and the pain
Most Smooth - Mason drags a girl to his spot so he can partner with Screamer
Most Confusing Qualifiers - So Mason won't date Screamer but he's perfectly fine snogging in the locker room with him? Okay then.
Most Cheesy - still the CGI beast
Most Noble - Scott might break into the pumps but they still pay for the gas
Biggest Fount of Non-Information - Liam, sharing all the news we already know
Biggest Cheaters - the skinwalkers who change the rules after Kira defeats the Oni
The "Are You Sure This is Teen Wolf?" Award - there are no phone product placements and I could see almost every single scene clearly
The "Still Available as a Teacher Consultant" Award - Theo would never need to inform the teacher that Lydia was out for medical issues because the teacher would have been informed as soon as she started being absent
The "This is NOT The Shannara Chronicles" Award - no need to show naked female butts here
The "Poor Baby" Award - Mr. Quinn, who was the next in line for teacher decapitation day
The "Please Shut Up" Award - Stiles, Scott finally has his priorities straight. Please don't encourage the B squad again.
Best Music - God Don't Follow Me by Adam Road

Best Quotes -
1. Scott: "I don't know why I believed him. I don't know why we didn't just keep talking that night. Five more minutes and we would have figured out that there were two different stories. We would have filled in all the blanks. We should have just kept talking." Stiles: "He knew we wouldn't." Scott: "I didn't want it to happen like this." Stiles: "Like what?" Scott: "I knew sooner or later one of us was going to get a little too much blood on our hands. I half-thought that it was going to be Malia." Stiles: "Well she definitely seems like she's working on it." Scott: "I just always thought that if it were to happen, it should be me. I'm the one who's constantly putting you guys in danger, risking your lives for people you don't even know. It should have been me."
2. Stiles: "There was a pin. There was one little, metal pin attached to the scaffolding. He…he was trying to pull me down." Scott: "He was trying to kill you." Stiles: "Yeah, so then I pulled the pin. You know and all these metal braces came down and one of them just went right through him." Scott: "Why didn't you think you could tell me?" Stiles: "It was just the way you were looking at me that night. You know you were just…you were standing there with the wrench in your hand. You were looking at me like I'd just bashed you in the head with it. You know like I'd broken your sacred rule and…that's it. There's no going back." Scott: "I know the difference." Stiles: "What?" Scott: "I know what self-defense is."
3. Scott: "What's happening?" Stiles: "Um, yeah we're out of gas. That's out of gas." Scott: "It says we have half a tank." Stiles: "Yeah, not necessarily." Scott: "You didn't fix the gas gauge did you." Stiles: "Not necessarily."
4. Kira: "All the myths about skinwalkers say they're evil." Mama Fox: "They say the same thing about kitsune."
5. Walker: "She stays with us." MamaFox: "I'm kitsune. I've 900 years. You want her, you'll have to go through me."
6. Liam: "I'll come with you." Scott: You can't." Liam: "Let me help. Let me do something. Just tell me what I can do." Scott: "Don't do anything."
7. Mason: "There are definitely bad guys. Some of the bad guys are called dread doctors. You don't get a name like dread doctors and not get classified as the bad guys."





Criminal Minds – 11.12 – Drive
BY Emma

After the intense conclusion to the Dirty Dozen story line this week, I expected a slower episode that focused on a normal case of the week, and that’s what “Drive” delivered. Growing up, if we didn’t have a car then we had to walk, take a bus or call a taxi. Today, we have ride sharing services that are so convenient, we sometimes forget that we are essentially doing the very thing our mother’s warned us not to do since we were old enough to walk – never get into a car with a stranger. We have a couple ride share programs that are popular in my neighborhood and even before seeing an episode about a guy with a guillotine playing judge, jury and executioner with his passengers, I would never use the service. Why? Because perhaps the person who was picking me up was a guy with a twisted idea of justice and a guillotine (yes, it was my mother’s voice in my head when I typed that). I have found that some of my favorite case of the week episodes of Criminal Minds are the ones that make me think twice about the things I do every day where I take my safety for granted. By that measure, this is one of the best episodes this season…well, that and Lewis’ and Rossi’s awesome cars!

Grade: B+

Best Reason to Watch – guillotine, of course
Best Scene – Rossi fanboys over Lewis’ car
Best Character Interaction – Lewis and Rossi
Best Taste in Music – Lewis
The “Truthdom” Award – James, the UnSub, points out that there is no such thing as a cone of silence and everyone who has ever been annoyed by secret spilling conversations in the middle of a crowded hallway rejoiced.

Best Quotes -
1. Garcia: “I’m on it but I feel icky already.”
2. Garcia: “Do you know there’s a sword from Asia called a katana and it can slice a person in half. Who would need that?”
3. James (UnSub): “You talk on our phone and you think you’re in some kind of private little bubble but you are not.”



Heroes: Reborn - 1.13 - Project Reborn
BY Laura Markus

Ugh. What a mess. Honestly, the first 5 minutes or so were great. After the potential they had going from the ending of last week's episode, there were only a few ways this could go wrong. But they managed to do one wrong thing after another, and it spiraled out of control for me. Not only were the only remaining couples heterosexual (which annoys me to no end), but they completely and utterly wasted my favourite character. Yes, I know there were two solar flares and someone had to stop the first one but they did not hype that the first flare was going to do serious damage, only the second one. So why did Luke's "big moment" consist of him flying into the sky like nothing happened? Why wasn't he the twins' conduit? Why did they drag Noah into this? It really doesn't make sense; in my mind he's not dead. Quentin ending up in prison after everything that happened was horrible. Luke and Quentin have these amazing arcs where they turn from the dark to the light, and this is what they get for it. And I guess Matt Parkman died in that car crash last episode. God, they completely ruined Matt in Reborn, except for his first on-screen appearance. I don't even care about Carlos/Farah, Nathan/Emily, or Ren/the real Miko. I really don't. I'm disappointed. I was someone who completely stood by this season, even when there were nay-sayers, but this finale was not satisfying to me.

Grade: D+

Best Reason to Watch - It was the ending of this reboot. However, it was not satisfying and I don't want to include it in the Heroes canon.
The "You Deserved Better" Award - Noah, Quentin, Luke, Matt - just about everyone deserves this.
Best Scene - Quentin mercy killing Phoebe in order to protect Malina.
The "Finally!" Award - Hachiro finally killed that guy working for Erica.
Saddest Scene - Noah being the conduit. I do think it should've been Luke, but it was still a sad moment.
The "Oh, Cr**!" Award - Who gave Nathan and Malina those tarot cards at the end? Who was in that trench coat? Tim Kring, leaving us with a cliffhanger once more.
Funniest Moment - Luke, saying, "You can't block a glock."
The "Most Meaningless Death" Award - Luke Collins. My favorite character, destroyed.






Angie Tribeca - season 1 (episodes 1.01-1.10)

In an interesting move, TBS released all of season 1 at the same time but will be making season 2 weekly viewing. Thus the review en masse. Angie Tribeca is a spoof of your typical crime procedural. Basically the only trope they didn't cover was running in heels because Angie wouldn't be caught dead in those. If you've made fun of it in a crime procedure, so do they. My favorite is when Angie tells Geils that she's fallen in love with all 236 of her partners and Geils tells her that it is perfectly normal. Ha! It sure feels like it in today's procedural landscape. The dialogue is fairly sharp throughout the series and the guest stars are phenomenal. You never know when someone big like Bill Murray is going to show up. They biggest problem with the series is its tendency to outplay a joke. What's funny the first 3 times is deadly dull 25 seconds later. Also in typical farce style, the characters are completely over the top, which will appeal to some and not to others. For me it got to be too much. Don't get me wrong. The writing, acting, and directing is well done. It's just not my type of humor. I highly recommend people watch the first 3 episodes and judge it for themselves. It may be the surprise comedy hit of the season.

Grade: B-
Ranking - 2
Audience - those who love Naked Gun-type shows or who enjoy picking TV tropes apart

Best Reason to Watch - makes fun of any crime procedural trope you could think of / the dialogue
MVP - all the guest stars
Best Spoof - the coroner waxes poetic over the magnifying glass like it's one of those shining toys CSI was always spouting on about and then he uses a claw machine to the background music one usually hears during those montages
Best Montage - the board game interrogation
Best Plan - stop the suspect by putting her in the middle of a bouquet fight
Best Reference - Shawshank Redemption / Ghost
Best Reaction - Tanner to the paintings doing a Harry Potter and moving
Worst Running Gag - the vomiting police officer
Worst Pun - thumb drive
Worst Reference - Call Me Maybe
Worst Episode - Commissioner Bigfish
Biggest Laugh (possibly because it was 2 am) - quinceanera destruction
Biggest Oversharer - Angie, who tells all kinds of things about her life to her partner who doesn't care
Biggest Spoiler - the second episode's name is The Wedding Planner Did It / the third episode title is even more specific about who did it
Most Punny - Scholls
Most Impressive Morning Routine - Angie takes working out to a whole new apartment-wrecking level
Most Acrobatic - Geils, who literally (as in pommel horse) does gymnastics during his chase of the suspect
Strangest Product Placement - they actually put the Ford logo and web site under the car as it drives by and it just pops up randomly afterwards / then it's Snickers turn
The "Welcome Back" Award - Bill Murray from everything / Lisa Kudrow from friends / Jere Burns from Burn Notice / Hayes MacArthur from Go On / Gary Cole from Office Space and 52% of animated fare / James Franco from Spiderman, 127 Hours, and dumb comedies / Sarah Chalke from Scrubs / Alfred Molina from Spider-Man 2 / Keegan-Michael Key from Playing House/ Ryan Hansen from Veronica Mars and Bad Judge
Best Music - By the Light of the Silvery Moon

Best Quotes -
1. Angie: "I've had 236 partners and I've fallen in love with every single one of them." Geils: "That's so normal."
2. Manhattan: "Believe me, I would have killed him but they don't let people in coach kill people in first class." Angie: "That's true. That's a rule."
3. Daisy: "I can't believe I spent a whole montage with you."
4. Tanner: "Hidden Valley Country Club. Didn't this used to be a ranch?" Geils: "They moved to Thousand Islands."
5. Everett: "His aesthetic was offensive to me. I wanted to embarrass him." Geils: "Well then why didn't you just bully him on Facebook or Instagram like any decent human being?"
6. Atkins: "Meanwhile the plane's been grounded." Angie: "Why?" Atkins: "Got in late. Didn't do its homework."



Legends of Tomorrow - 1.01 - Pilot

It's never a good thing when you can quote the dialogue of a show without having seen the show before. To say the dialogue is clichéd here would be to understate. However, there are decent bones to this story structure even with the non-logic of time travel. (Seriously folks, go back to ancient Egypt and snuff the guy before he makes a deal with the devil.) The different personalities and skill sets could make for a good team IF they can learn to function as a team. It also helps that many of these characters have been introduced to us before, either in Arrow or The Flash. With this cast of characters, each of which have at least 2 different names, you need to have some background knowledge to keep everyone straight. The story itself is pretty simple. A group of metahumans / superheroes team together to take down the Big Bad, who just happens to be immortal and should have died in the crossover. As with almost all pilots, this one takes too much time putting all the pieces together but as soon as the merry band enters 1975 the pacing picks up noticeably. So does the humor and that will be a key component to this series. If it realizes that at its heart it is ridiculous and plays with that, it may just be a fun ride.

Grade: B-
Ranking - 4
Audience - CW superhero fans who don't think The Flash and Arrow are enough out there with their metahumans and resurrecting everyone

Best Reason to Watch - with this many main characters, you're sure to like at least one of them
Best Scene - the left behind trio go to the bar
Best Action - Sarah
Best Character Interaction - Laurel and Sarah
Best Speech - Jefferson's team speech
Worst Speech - Ray's self-pity
Biggest Hmm - Being immortal does seem to screw with your family tree, but not knowing your own kid is messed up. Take me off the list for reincarnation.
Biggest Question - Why are they searching for Savage in the 70's? They know exactly where he was in Ancient Egypt. Doesn't it make far more sense to take him out BEFORE he gets powerful? Ugh! Time travel hurts my head.
Biggest Surprise - I actually agree with Oliver here. I wouldn't be so trusting either. Just because someone says he's from the future and can travel through time doesn't make it so and it definitely does not make him a good guy.
Biggest Laugh - Snart snark
Biggest Douche - Stein, who drugs his other half into a life that could get him killed
Biggest Problem - Most would say Savage. I disagree. The biggest problem is that none of these people seem to like each other. Who wants to watch a team that just keeps sniping at each other?
Least Surprising - Hunter is in it because of love too, making it a revenge mission
Most Fun - barroom brawl to Captain and Tennille
Most Enthusiastic - Ray, who can't wait to be a hero
Most Likely to Get Answers - Kendra Saunders, who isn't taking anything off of Hunter
The "Yet Another Reason" Award - This entire story is yet another example of why love triangles suck. There wouldn't be a problem if the crazy dude wasn't pining for the princess.
The "I Don't Think So" Award - If this professor really loves this topic so much, there's no way he's letting those books look like they were just unburied from the sand. Even in the 70's they had archiving.
The "Well That's One Way to Make Your Point" Award - nothing establishes a character as evil quite like point blank shooting a kid

Best Quotes -
1. Snart: "We go out for one lousy drink and you guys somehow manage to pick a fight with Boba Fett."
2. Sarah: "If we have the power to change the world, don't you think we have the power to change our own fate?"
3. Rory: "Whatever you roofied him with, I'd like some." Stein: "I did not roofie him." Rory: "Oh I ain't judging."
4. Snart: "Why did we become criminals?" Rory: "Because we hate working and we love money."
5. Ray: "He's a time master from the 22nd century. It's a little hard to Google."






The 100 - 3.01 - Wanheda, Part 1

I really, really wanted to love this premiere but since I barely recognize most of the characters and half the epsiode was about ones I have no interest in, it felt pretty meh to me. Then there was ALL the eye candy filler that dragged the largely non-existent plot even further in the mire. Add to it the slow pacing and this really was not The 100's best effort. The premiere felt more like it was focused on style (or as my podcast partner Kristen says, "looking cool") instead of any real substance. In many ways, it felt like the show was concentrating more on the surface of things, avoiding any real depth. By focusing on so many different storylines, we didn't get a feel for any of them, which given the time jump made it still harder to connect to the characters - even ones we already knew much less the new people just plunked onto the screen. Even worse is that they spent the majority of the time in a Jasper/Murphy/Jaha combination, none of whom I need to devote any more time to. Jasper leapt off my last nerve in this episode and now I just want him to die. Does the kid need to ruin every single thing every time they take him out? Urgh! All the rest of the socks went towards him, leaving none left for Chancellor Crazypants himself. How exactly is it possible that Jaha is more nuts now than he was before? That's an even bigger mystery than where this storyline is leading and how it connects, if at all, to the main characters.

While I agree with the time jump for some characters, Clarke at least needed some back story / flashbacks to make her relatable. If we had seen the time jump through her eyes instead of Murphy, I think her part of the story would have been more powerful given the context. Instead the lead of the show goes hunting (which was awesome), visits the trading post, screws someone we've never seen before, and stupidly gets caught. Seriously Clarke, if you are trying to avoid people stop staring at them. You were smarter last season. At this point Clarke was better in every way except hunting in season 2 and you can't have your main character stagnate. Octavia, who was my favorite character last year, suddenly acts like an emoangsty baby. Is she really going to shun Lincoln because the others are starting to accept him? That's like when the nerd character gets a seat at the popular table and all the other nerds start to ignore him because of it. This is not an ABC Family show, so stop acting like it. Either Octavia's reasons need to be made clearer very quickly or they need to drop this drama for drama's sake. Contrived drama does nothing for me.

Still it wasn't all dull. I really enjoyed the relationship growing between Kane and Bellamy. They are two of the few characters that might have grown since last season. I really enjoyed how they both appear to be listening more. Kane obviously trusts Bellamy to lead a hot zone mission and Bellamy seems to be okay taking orders from an adult again. Both make for smarter characters and better teamwork. In fact things in Arkadia as a whole appear to be better run, better organized, and safer. We even got to have a scene that was pure fun, something rare and therefore even more special. Plus, Violent Femmes. I also liked the interaction between Raven and Abby even though it has a little too much heat in it right now. I love that Raven isn't afraid to tell Abby how it is and that Abby won't stop reaching out to Raven. They make a good team and I hope when Clarke inevitably rejoins them, it won't mean the end of quality Abby and Raven scenes. Another plus is the bromance between Lincoln and Bellamy. It's odd that those two are getting along when Lincoln and Octavia are not but I would love to see more of this relationship. I think they complement each other well and it makes sense that Lincoln would be in charge of training others. Indra, as always, was a delight and I like the fact that she and Kane are working together instead of against each other right now. Still the very best part of the episode was the promise of learning about yet another grounder clan. The Ice Nation and their queen sound like they could be just the challenge The 100 needs to get the action back on track. I have every confidence that this show will be even more interesting this season than last. I just wish this premiere had more oomph.

Grade: C

Best Reason to Watch - sets up a conflict with a new grounder nation
Best Scene - Violent Femmes sing-along
Best Character Interaction - Abby and Raven
Best Bromance - Bellamy and Lincoln
Best Reaction - Murphy tries to punch Jaha on meeting again
Best Moment - Abby helps Raven off the horse
Best Instincts - Indra
Best Entrance - Octavia on horseback
Best Speech - Bellamy about the uniform
Best Nostalgia - the raven that Finn made for Raven is hanging from the SUV
Best Scene Change - overlaying Abby and Clarke's faces
Worst Plan - taking Jasper anywhere
Biggest Change - Bellamy is now pals with Lincoln while Octavia is barely speaking to him
Biggest Tease - we only get to see part of the grounder map
Biggest Question - How is Alie on the boat?
Biggest Filler - sex scene / piano playing
Most Useless Moron - still Jasper, who makes every single thing worse at every opportunity
Most Insane - Jaha, who has gotten even more loony than he already was
Most Logical - Lincoln with both Abby and Octavia
Most Cathartic - Mendes punches Jasper
The "It's about Time" Award - Bellamy finally agrees that giving Jasper a gun is a terrible idea. Now if only he realized that 2 seasons ago.
The "Um, No Thank You" Award - I'm sorry trading post worker. If I'm Clarke, I'm not drinking anything anyone gives me either. I'm not trusting anyone.
The "Welcome Back" Award (character) - Indra / Emori
The "Welcome Back" Award (actor) - Jessica Harmon from iZombie and The Whispers
Best Music - Violent Femmes
Worst Music - Shawn Mendes

Best Quotes -
1. Niylah: "No kill marks." Clarke: "My back's not big enough."
2. Jaha: "No pain, no hate, no envy." Murphy: "No thanks."
3. Lincoln: "There can't be an us or them if we want to survive." Octavia: "You're being naïve. Most people aren't like you, Lincoln." Lincoln: "Kane and Abby aren't like most people. They're trying to forge a lasting peace and so am I." Octavia: "They're using you. Look at that nice grounder in his uniform. They think it proves we can live together." Lincoln: "It does."
4. Kane: "Bellamy, there hasn't been an attack since Mount Weather. That's 3 months. Our people believe that this is real peace. Try not to screw that up?"
5. Murphy: "Okay, you do know she is the one who launched the bombs that ended the world, right?" Jaha: "Wrong. She didn't end the world. She saved it." Murphy: "I'm so out of here."
6. Raven: "Are you here as my chancellor or my doctor because I don't want to talk to one of you." Abby: "I'm here as your friend." Raven: "Good, then shut up and drink."
7. Lincoln: "Hey, listen to me. Trikru is in here, not out there. And nothing can take that away from us." Octavia: "That uniform does."
8. Jaha: "The outside world means nothing. In the City of Light, we're all kings." Murphy: "And here I thought I was the one losing my mind."



Agent Carter - 2.01 / 2.02 - The Lady in the Lake / A View in the Dark

Woo hoo! Agent Carter is back! This is one of the shows that I was really looking forward and the premiere was everything I hoped it would be. First off it started by including one of my favorite characters from last season, Dottie. I adore the fight scene between Carter and Dottie, making up for the paltry first fight they had. Anna Jarvis is a brilliant addition and may become my favorite character in short order. I can see why Jarvis risked everything to keep her safe. Agent Carter really knows how to create memorable and well-rounded characters. I'm not quite as sure about the overall storyline though. Zero matter plays a little too much in the comic book realm for me. Plus all the exposition on it slowed down the second episode, dropping its grade. Still the foundation of Agent Carter is the interaction between Jarvis and Carter, which was as delightful here as it was all of season 1. I could watch an entire hour of just them talking.

Grade: A- / B

Best Reason to Watch - we finally get Carter and Jarvis banter again
Best Scene - Dottie takes down the smug Thompson
Best Character Interaction - Carter and Jarvis
Best Action - now that's the Carter vs. Dottie fight that I was waiting for in season 1
Best Reaction - Jarvis and Carter to the flamingo
Best Twist - Dottie is dressed like Carter was in season 1 premiere
Best Flirt - Sousa
Best New Addition - Mrs. Jarvis
Biggest Understatement - Jarvis in saying that Sousa is losing his composure
Biggest Switch - suddenly everyone is lauding Carter…well except the douchey Thompson
Least Likely to Make Your Point - waving a gun in someone's face while saying you're the good guy makes you seem less than trustworthy
Least Surprising - the cop is crooked
Most Awkward - Sousa when his new girlfriend invites Carter to dinner
The "Pimping 40's Style" Award - Howard Stark's coupe d'amour
The "Welcome Back" Award - Kurtwood Smith from That 70's Show and Resurrection / Ray Wise from Twin Peaks and Fresh Off the Boat / Wynn Everett from Supernatural

Best Quotes -
1. Wilkes: "I'm starting to think I'd make a pretty good secret agent." Carter: "Not your best hypothesis."
2. Jarvis: "Is it broken?" Carter: "You'll live. Keep your head back." Jarvis: "Of course I'll live. I'm worried about the aesthetic. Anna's absolutely mad about my profile."
3. Jarvis: "Except for danger, my middle name is charm."
4. Samberly: "The short answer is I don't know. So's the long answer."
5. Thompson: "It's a real burden being everybody's favorite agent, isn't it?" Carter: "If this is about your insecurity, Chief Thompson, then I suggest you deal with it in your own time."
6. Carter: "Love the hat."
7. Rose: "Daniel, you're a nice guy." Sousa: "Now that's just mean."



Galavant - 2.05 / 2.06 - Giants vs. Dwarves / About Last Knight

Still not loving this season, but it does seem to be on an upswing. Now that Isabella has gotten free from her tainted crown and even more importantly from her teenage emoangsting, I expect she'll be improving rapidly. Madalena and Gareth continue to bring the most fun and this unprovoked war sounds like the spoiler Sid told in the opening song. In fact things looked to be better in the sixth episode but then the writers got amnesia. Seriously that is the only explanation. Did they not remember that we already met Gal's dad? You know that guy that stayed with his mom even when she sounded like the biggest shrew on the planet. That guy who took time out of his day to encourage little Galavant when the other kids were teasing him. That guy who is nothing like how they are portraying him in this episode. I'm not sure I have seen canon explode in song before. Lovely.

Grade: B- / B-

Best Reason to Watch - Isabella's brain drain crown is off and she's ready to kick some butt again
Best Scene - Galavant and Richard make up
Best Peacemaker - Roberta
Best Reference - West Side Story
Best Meta / Most Fun - the Forest of Coincidence, which must be in the Kingdom of Plot Device
Best Song - Giants vs. Dwarves / I was There
Worst Song - My Dragon Pal and Me / Different Kind of Princess
Worst Plan / Most in Need of Shutting Up - Sid's revolution idea
Worst Snack - hobbits
Worst Birthday Presents - scars
Biggest Backfire - Gareth can't get anyone to bar fight with him
Most Bizarre - the Madalena and Gareth partnership and now romance
The "I Don't Think So" Award - Richard said it earlier. No take backs. That includes this Galavant Papa switcharoo. I want my Anthony Head back! Foul on that play.
The "What is This, 16 Candles?" Award - So Isabella can be free for the price of her bra? Okay then.
The "Say What?" Award - Where did all these daddy issues come from? Last year Galavant worshipped his father a bit too much. Now he can't stand him? Flo, the continuity fairy, has moved to another kingdom.
The "Didn't Your Mama Tell You…" Award - …not to play with swords or someone could lose an eye.
The "Welcome Back" Award - Greg Wise from Sense & Sensibility and Horatio Hornblower

Best Quotes -
1. Richard: "Hey there old buddy, you know what I believe in." Galavant: "I think we're gonna pull through." Richard: "Me too." Roberta: "Me three." Madalena & Gareth: "Yes, I believe something might just have started." Sid: "And I believe I'll be joining the dear departed." Isabella: "And I believe I have a wedding planner to see. Better believe it. His a** belongs to me."
2. Galavant: "There's no need for your clunky exposition."
3. Sid: "She will rip your heart out and I don't mean symbolically."
4. Roberta: "Listen people, there's no need to fight. Holy freaking cow, you're the same damn height."
5. Galavant: "Roberta's right. I'm sorry. I've been using some many horrible words to describe you, but I've forgotten the one that describes you best - loyal."



Scorpion - 2.14 - Sun of a Gun

Scorpion is always interesting when they bring family into the mix. Character back story for geniuses seems to pack more of a punch. The same is true for Sylvester here when the case requires him to work with his father, whom he hasn't seen in over 9 years. Stereotypically rocky, the father and son start off rough but when they appear to be in danger, Sylvester's dad says everything Sylvester needs to hear. It's especially touching because of all the character growth Sylvester has had in the past year. He's grown into my favorite character so spending extended time with him is nice. It's also great to see him in the field with the team again since he's been separated from them far too often this season. The story itself was typically farfetched but the pacing moved quickly and it was more about the characters than the plot anyway. Good thing because the whole stealing of the watch made my eyes roll. Walter singing karaoke made me laugh and wince though. As for Happy and Toby…well, I was fine with them hooking up originally but the writers screwed the pooch with that storyline and ended up making both Happy and Toby less interesting characters. Therefore I'm not sure I trust them with round 2.

Grade: B+

Best Reason to Watch - Sylvester back story
Best Scene - Sylvester and his dad stuck in the bunker
Best Awww Moment - Sylvester's dad apologizes to him and they hug
Best Reaction - Sylvester and his dad to the solar gun actually being real
Best Parenting - Cabe in telling Sylvester's dad how to talk to Sylvester
Best Reference - the episode where the kid was caught in the landslide
Best Twist - Happy knows all Toby's favorite things
Worst Plan - Walter and speed dating
Biggest Laugh - Walter and Paige karaoke
Biggest Facepalm - Sylvester and his dad get stuck in the mortar
Biggest Hmm - I would think that Walter would understand Sylvester's parent problems if nothing else. Also, where is all that character growth Sylvester had in the first half of the season? He seems more like season 1 Sylvester before they take off for the mission.
Least Surprising - Walter doesn't know who Elton John is
Most Charming - the brutal dictator
Coolest Entrance - Happy sliding down the ladder
The "Say What?" Award - How is the mortar guaranteed to keep the dictator from remaking the panels or even freeing them to study?
The "There's an App for That" Award - technology will even allow you to get out of a welded shut bunker
The "Welcome Back" Award - Jeff Fahey from Under the Dome

Best Quotes -

1. Ken: "You're right, Sylvester. I…we never really connected. I wasn't prepared to raise a kid like you. There's no manual on how to raise a genius. If there were I'd have read it a hundred times cover to cover because I loved you from the moment you were born. I just…I just didn't know how to show you."
2. Sylvester: "You said it was 100 x 20." Happy: "Yeah, it's 100 feet by 20 feet." Sylvester: "I thought you meant meters. This country runs on the metric system. Why didn't you convert?" Happy: "I'm American."
3. Paige: "I swear to God if you don't get into this, I'm gonna kill you myself."
4. Walter: "What you just said makes sense." Happy: "Everything I say makes sense."
5. Walter: "What's wrong with you?" Toby: "I caught the cooties watching you and Groupie Grandpa fumble with the ladies."
6. Ken: "Sylvester, I…uh, I'm sorry that your mother and I, we weren't the right family for you but I'm glad to see you found the one that is."





The Flash - 2.10 - Potential Energy
~Better than the midseason finale - less tears - but still not up to where it was earlier.
Grade: B-

Best Reason to Watch - twists are dropping like flapjacks at Paul Bunyan's place
Best Character Interaction - Barry and Iris / Barry and Joe
Best Advice - Iris tells Barry to not lie to Patty if he's serious about her
Best Switch - Team Flash and Patty all look fabulous dolled up
Best Speech - Patty to Barry about what he wants out of a relationship
Least Surprising - Wally isn't in town for Joe and Iris
Worst Plan Ever - telling your girlfriend you're a superhero while on a crowded dance floor
Biggest Say What? - Why is the Reverse Flash back? Didn't we already end that storyline?
Biggest Oops - Barry sets the bouquet for Patty on fire…well, in his nightmare
Biggest Thumbs Up - Cisco approves Patty for Team Flash
Most Pointless - Turtle's motivation makes the kind of sense that just doesn't
Most Likely to Mumble Their Way Through a Conversation - tie - Barry and Patty
Most Depressing - Patty is leaving right when I started really liking her
Most Likely to Take Advantage of an Opportunity -Caitlin, who takes Jay's DNA from a champagne glass
The "Way to Make it All about You" Award - Caitlin, you douche, a thousand Gibbs' slaps all around to you. Someone else is sick and you chew him out for making you care about him. Take some responsibility for yourself. You're the one who got over your husband in a flash.

Best Quotes -
1. Barry: "Hey, are you good? You seem a little jittery?" Joe: "A little anxious. Let's be honest. I'm really nervous about this whole dinner tonight with Wally." Barry: "Come on. Why…why are you nervous? You're like the best dad ever. He'll see that."
2. Joe: "Come on. Iris will cook." Iris: "Dad, we just met the kid,. We don't want to kill him." Joe: "Alright we do take-out. Chinese, whatever. Come on."
3. Patty: "It's the thought that counts…and you know, proper fire safety management. That counts most."
4. Barry: "Alright, keep your eyes open for the Turtle. A sentence I never thought I would say."
5. Iris: "Yeah, you're not needed." Joe: "I am needed. Somewhere and I'm gonna go there."
6. Turtle: "Is this a trap? I'm slow. Not stupid."
7. Patty: "I was just hoping that maybe you would think I'm good for him so you'd want to help me figure him out." Iris: "Well I mean if you did that you would be the first." Patty: "Wonderful that gives me tons of hope."



The Shannara Chronicles - 1.04 - Changeling
~Much better than the last episode because it feels less teen-oriented but yikes does the love triangle need to end right now.
Grade: B

Best Reason to Watch - the quest is starting
Best Point - Where in the legend does it say that only Amberle, Wil, and Eretria can go on the quest? If I were Arion, I would be suspicious of this plan too. Plus then we can keep wondering if he's evil or not.
Biggest Laugh - Ellcrys Wil, who looks like a boy band member but talks like a thug
Biggest Hmm - the tree requires Amberle kill for it before allowing her on her quest
Biggest Super Special Snowflake - Amberle
Worst Acid Trip - whatever the Ellcrys blew in Amberle's face
Worst Prize - visions of people's deaths
Worst Plan Yet - Allanon is staying behind from this quest
Worst TV Trope - what's dead does not stay dead
Least Surprising - the shapeshifter uses Wil's form to get close to Amberle
Least Trustworthy - surprisingly it is Amberle, who reneges on her deal with Eretria
The "Well That Came Out of Nowhere" Award - one minute the shapeshifter is talking to Dagda Mor and the next she's sticking a sword through someone's skull
The "Welcome Back" Award - Lorin

Best Quotes -
1. Wil: "That's Druid speak for maybe you should reconsider."
2. Ander: "I don't know about you but I'm feeling great about this plan."
3. Bandon: "Seeing death is no gift."
4. Wil: "The details aren't important." Amberle: "He said that you broke into his room and you struggled but you knocked him out." Eretria: "That's one way to put it. You should know that the struggle was mutual and it lasted about an hour."
5. Arion: "It is hard to compete with the ghost of a brother whose stature increases in your mind with every passing year."
6. Wil: "Is this your usual grave look or should I be worried?"



Supernatural - 11.09 - O Brother, Where Art Thou?
~I am done with Supernatural's take on God. Just done. I'm done with it trying to be too epic and I was done with Lucifer within 1 episode of meeting him. If you're out of ideas, just say so and be done yourself.

Best Reason to Watch - if you were a fan of Lucifer, this is your episode
Best Reaction - Sam to seeing Lucifer
Best Non-Winchester Character of the Episode - Sorry Crowley, but your mama wins this one tonight
Worst Family Meeting - anytime Rowena and Crowley are in the same room
Worst Spin-Off: Touched by Lucifer, which would not be happy endings for all
Biggest Dummies - You see one angel get smited and so you go one at a time after Amara? What an idiot! Obviously one on one is not going to work. Attack amass, dummies.
Biggest Face Palm - Dean, really? Kissing the enemy? Didn't we do this already? Wasn't her name Ruby? Urgh!
Least Surprising - Lucifer wants Sam to be his vessel and sent Sam the visions
Least Grateful - for all that the Winchesters come to Crowley for help, they never give him the credit he deserves
Most Likely to be Screwed - Sam, every season and this time by a burning bush
Most Creepy - Lucifer's little smile at the camera
Most Ominous - Crowley: "It begins."
Most Manipulative - tie - Lucifer and Amara
Easiest Entrance - Remember when going to hell was a big deal in Supernatural. What? Did they install a revolving door? Are they leaving the light on?
The "Hold Your Horses" Award - Why in the world would opening the cage be now or never? It's been there for millennia. They can wait a couple of hours.
The "Back Away Slowly" Award - You are starting to travel in "Taxi Driver" territory, aka blowing up your own canon for no reason. If they just needed a key to get into the Cage, there would be zero reason to set up the eons-old Winchester brother vs. brother saga of season 5. Do you really think that the armies of heaven and the legions of hell could NOT find a book? This is making the kind of sense that doesn't. At all. And if it is easy to get Sam out of the Cage, then I boycott again.
The "Not Him Again" Award - Lucifer is back. Oh joy. One of the most disappointing villains they've had in a decade.

Best Quotes -
1. Sam: "Do I look crazy?" Rowena: "Well you do have unresolved issues with your domineering older brother and the abandonment by your father."
2. Sam: "So what? I just disappear while you take my body and get set loose on the world again?" Lucifer: "I know. I know, Sam. It's a lot to ask. Desperate times require desperate measures." Sam: "That's not desperate. That's certifiable." Lucifer: "Okay, hold on there a second ,cowboy. Take a breath. You have been working with Crowley. You passed certifiable three off ramps ago."
3. Dean: "Whatever the deal is between you two, whoever threw the first punch, whoever was Daddy's favorite…" Amara: "There was no daddy." Dean: "Whatever. That mess is your mess. It's between you two. You're taking people's lives. You're taking their souls."
4. Rowena: "Lay a hand on me and my followers will swoop down on this tin can palace of yours with all the power of the Book of the Damned." Crowley: "Stow it, you lying b**. If you could do that, you'd have done it. If I wanted to kill you, I'd have done that." Rowena: "Not that you haven't tried." Crowley: "You tried to kill me twice." Rowena: "What's that they say? Third time's the charm."
5. Dean: "Listen, are you sure that you're…you're okay with this whole deal?" Sam: "No, not even a little, but what choice do we have, you know?" Dean: "Okay well for the record, I hate it. Just wait for me. Don't do anything until I get there." Sam: "Right now it's just research but you've got it. Nothing without you."
6. Rowena: "I must say, it's not as scenic as I'd expected." Crowley: "We're in the furthest reaches of hell - limbo, where I send unruly souls for timeout." Sam: "This is where I meet with Lucifer?" Crowley: "What it lacks in ambiance, it makes up for in security."



Younger - 2.03 - Like a Boss

Grade: A- for the main story, C for the rest

Best Reason to Watch / Best Character Interaction - Liza and Kelsey
Best Scene - Liza encourages Kelsey to fake like she knows what she's doing
Best Surprise - Josh shows up at the launch party
Best Reaction - Josh to the guy asking for directions to Maggie's place
Best Reference - Bechdel test
MVP - Liza who gives Kelsey's speech to her via Bluetooth
Most Uncomfortable - talking about three ways and anal sex in front of someone's parents / Maggie's party
Most Reasonable - Josh doesn't want to spend hi s time lying to his friends
Biggest What The Heck - Kelsey actually wears that hideous, gigantic paper plate dress to the launch party
Biggest Creeper - Lauren's dad, who needs to get a robe / everyone at Maggie's party
Biggest Hmm - I'm not sure how I feel about Maggie's speech to Josh. They are discounting his needs for Liza's and I'm a big proponent of both sides of a relationship being heard.
The "Learn Something New Each Day" Award - I've never heard about ghosting before. I prefer to just hide from social media all together at times.
The "Welcome Back" Award - Lauren's parents

Best Quotes -
1. Josh: "Babe, you're not a millennial." Liza: "Yeah well Dr. Dre's not a doctor."
2. Liza: "Josh doesn't lie. That's one of the beautiful things about him I'd really like to change."
3. Diana: "Where's the Fit Bit?" Liza: "People think I'm on house arrest. It ups my cool factor." Diana: "Very Martha Stewart. Point me towards the alcohol."
4. Maggie: "We all used to lie and eat gluten and smoke cigarettes and hang up on each other. Remember that?" Eliza: "Yeah, now people just eat kale and tell the truth." Maggie: "A-holes."
5. Diana: "Well it seems like you've got this all covered. If anyone needs me, I'll be in my crypt."

Younger often plays in 2 different humor pools. One takes sarcastic potshots at our youth-obsessed culture and the generational divide. The other relies on crass sexual jokes and innuendo. Both are readily on display in this episode. So much so that it sidelines the heart I've come to rely on to temper the absurdity of it all. It also makes many of the character interactions feel more like they are serving a one-note joke than growing the characters. Surprisingly it is the normally flighty Lauren who is the most emotionally invested in this episode. In the one scene she has with Maggie, it is clear that she wants to deepen the relationship but Maggie pulls away, presumably due to a bad breakup many years ago. Later Liza also shares a good scene with Maggie as they cyberstalk her ex. Fans of Maggie will be happy to get some extra back story on her character. To be honest, I would probably have liked this episode more if they had devoted more time to Maggie's history.

Instead the "A" storyline focuses on Kelsey's attempt to land a trending fashion blogger as the first author for the Millennial imprint. Jade has that cool, disaffected, screw you attitude that now stereotypes her generation and Kelsey is positive that her tell-all, in your face memoir will put the imprint on the map. So much so that she's ready to invest most of her resources into the book. Just one little problem - Jade has another agenda entirely. Still, for all that Jade is certifiable, she does deliver quite the tirade on the fashion industry and their attempt to limit beauty to youth and body size. It's the PSA and scene of the night for me, tempering the facepalm storyline of Charles' penis. While playing baseball, someone inadvertently took a crotch shoot that revealed a lot more than Charles is comfortable with. As the picture starts gaining momentum on websites and comments pages, Diana tasks Liza with the job of scrubbing the internet of it. What proceeds is 20 minutes of double entendre to the point that it gets very old, very fast. There's only so much wink-wink innuendo I can take. Plus Diana comes off as a clueless ancient again. She deserves a much better plotline. With its emphasis on crass sexual humor, this is not the episode for me. However I am sure that many of Younger's loyal fans will disagree and find it very funny. Check it out yourself, Wednesday at 10/9 C on TV Land.

Grade: C+

Best Reason to Watch - more double entendre and innuendo than a bad Cinemax film, if you're into that kind of thing
Best Scene - Jade lambasts the fashion industry
Bets Reference - Oprah
Best Use of Flattery - Kelsey gets Diana to agree to let Liza help by including Diana in the meeting
Worst Way to End a Relationship - Josh
Most Shocking - Lauren wants to get serious with Maggie but Maggie's not so sure
Most Embarrassing - Charles' crotch shot goes online
Most Insane - Jade
Most Farfetched - anyone has enough clout to get a photo down from so many different websites
Celebrity Cameo - author Jennifer Weiner, who also becomes a double entendre

Best Quotes -
"I've got to give you one thing. I mean you b** are pretty desperate." Liza: "Exactly. Would HarperCollins ever…….?"
"Last week I watched a cover girl's waist get Photoshopped down to the size of my pinkie, her chest inflated to alien Barbie-sized proportions, and her wrinkles virtually expunged. All this business does is perpetuate the wanked out notion that youth and beauty are the only things that define a woman's worth. I would rather slit my carotid artery than spend one more day in an industry that faults me simply for growing older."
"The New Yorker? Is there no class left in this world?"
"Remember the good old days when you could take an embarrassing photo without fear that it would be posted on a worldwide platform for millions of eyes to see where it feasibly could exist until the end of days." Maggie: "Why do you think I still own a Polaroid?"
"They are in Pumpkin Spice hell."


Screencaps by TV Land and Starry Magazine.

It's a new episode so we've got a new Bingo card ready.  You can play online, print out a few choices, or create your own.  It's just as fun and half the danger of a drinking game.  Or as Merry Merino does it, mark a square and eat a cookie.  Back by popular demand, "Jeep breaks down" has been resurrected (poor Roscoe) and to make things a little easier because we want everyone to Bingo here, "Kira uses her belt sword" has been changed to "Kira uses a sword." If you have other suggestions, comment below or tweet me @dahne1.


Bingo Card Links:

Online
Set of 8
Make Your Own

100 -

A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.




The 100 -
1. Lexa: "I'm sorry. It had to be this way to insure that Wanheda didn't fall into the hands of the Ice Queen. War is brewing, Clarke. I need you." Clarke (spitting on Lexa): "You b**. You wanted the Commander of Death, you got her. I'll kill you."
2. Hannah: "I'm staying with my son." Pike: "Damn right you are. Mount up. We're going back into hell."
3. Abby: "Generally a follow up appointment is about checking the old injury, not treating new ones." Jasper: "I was just trying to make the most of our time together, Doc."



Agent Carter -
1. Jarvis: “Miss Wendy, the powder room is that way.“ Peggy: “Oh, I-I’m so sorry. I get really confused around books.” (Mark Ondo)
2. Peggy: "You’re being a coward! You are so afraid of ruffling powerful feathers that you’re doing what you always do: Burying an ugly truth and hoping someone will pin a medal on you." (Mark Ondo)
3. Stark: "Who is Dottie Underwood?" Jarvis: "She kidnapped you? (confused stare) At gunpoint, not long ago. (still nothing) You were wearing your brown mohair jacket." Stark: (snaps fingers) "The Russian knock-out with the killer backhand." (Prpleight)
4. Jarvis: "If you need a sparring partner….I'm sure Mr. Stark would be more than happy to hire one for you."
5. Stark: "I always thought you should be in pictures, Peg. What do you say? Arlene French called in drunk. You want to play a sassy beer wench?" Carter: "I'd rather be the cowboy." Stark: "Oh I like it. I don't think the audience is ready yet." Carter: "But they're ready for a movie based on a comic book. Sounds like a dreadful idea."
6. Stark: "Film making isn't art. It's more than that. It's science, which is why I am going to beat these movie yahoos at their own game." Jarvis: "Because of your boundless modesty."



Billions - first 2 episodes
1. Rhoades: "Every once and awhile there's this thing we say. 'I am never so proud as when I choose not to prosecute a case.' And that's true, in theory, but every once and awhile I wish that I could just be more…human. But I haven't figured out how to do that and my job at the same time, you know." Dr. Wendy: "Being 100% good at your job and 100% good. If you figure that one out, let's both quit and write that book."
2. Axe: "My cholesterol's high enough. Don't butter my a**, Danzig. Just get smarter."
3. Axe: "Then again, what's the point of having f** you money if you never say f***you."
4. Ellis: "We will walk out of here if you don't honor the full amount." Axe: "No you won't. You need this $9 million because none of you, not one, has done a single day of work from the moment your miserable prick of a grandfather fell face down in the sand in Palm Beach and after reviewing your holdings, your business interests, your debts, I know that this check is the only thing standing between your family and bankruptcy. So pick it up, put it in your pocket, and walk out of here or I will."



Brooklyn 99 -
1. Amy: "I love you." Jake: "Noice. Smort. [...] I love you too." (Laura Markus)
2. Jake: "Wait, where do the toilets on this boat go?" Doug: "You don't wanna know." Jake: "The pool?" Doug: "The ocean." Jake: "That's even worse. That's where my shrimp lives!" (Laura Markus)
3. Ray: "I cannot... even." (Laura Markus)
4. Rosa: "I smiled at you… For what?!" (Mark Ondo)



Crazy Ex-Girlfriend -
1. Rebecca: "So… You were right. It was a disaster but God, Josh was so nice. He found out that I’ve been lying and instead of turning his back on me, he just opened up more. He was so warm and kind and understanding. I love him so much." (Mark Ondo)



Elementary -
1. Sherlock: "You and I have had our differences to put it mildly, but I've always thought that at the very least you knew the content of my character. If you don't know without question that I'm not a killer, then there really is no foundation for us to build on. This experiment of ours has reached its end if for no other reason than to preserve my safety and Watson's. I do hope you'll agree. Oh and if you have any lingering doubts, here's how you can be certain I'm not the one who tried to kill you. You're alive."
2. Sherlock: "I see very much what I expected to see, a psychopath with no real human connections except the facades he maintains for convenience. A vampire of sorts, but instead of blood you feed on hopes and dreams." Trager: "Do one I haven't been called." Sherlock: "Very well. You're a double destroyer of lives. Once when you rope people into debt and then again when you use that debt to leverage them into doing your bidding."
3. Bell: "Is anything this kid's doing legal?" Sherlock: "Define legal."



The Flash -
1. Cisco: "Are you telling me I can see the future?" Wells: "That's exactly what I'm telling you." Cisco: "Those goggles are getting named immediately."
2. Flash: "You died." Thawne: "Good to know."
3. Wells: "Can you do me a favor and just shut up?"
4. Wells: "This is his original story and it's going to happen no matter what you do, but right here, right now, you can send him back to his time. You can save your friend. You can save Cisco and move on with your life." Joe: "This could be a good thing. You can finally let go of him." Barry: "I could throw him 3 centuries from now. He'll always be a part of me."



Galavant - 2 episodes
1. Sid: "Could he be mostly dead but not all dead, 'cause mostly dead is slightly alive." Sporin: "Yeah, that's not a thing."
2. Richard: "I just can't believe he's dead." Roberta: "It does seem awfully early in the season for something like this."
3. Sid: "Goodbye. Sorry that I made you die." Galavant: "Sid. It's not okay Sid." Madalena: "Yeah, I'm here. I'm not sure why." Galavant: "Me either. Seriously, who invited you?" Richard: "Hold me 'cause I'm gonna cry." Galavant: "No." Richard: "My Gal pal." Roberta: "Goodbye." Galavant: "Roberta." Roberta: "Seems as though we just said hi." Galavant: "Yeah well we did. Who's this?" Random: "I am just some random guy." Galavant: "What happened? I just run out of friends."



Lucifer -
1. Beatrice: "My name is Beatrice, but people call me Trixie." Lucifer: "Trixie’s a hooker’s name." Beatrice: "What’s a hooker?" (Prpleight)
2. Chloe: "I have far too many bullets in this thing for you to still be talking."
3. Lucifer: "I've never understood the human desire to procreate." Chloe: "That's probably a good thing."
4. Lucifer: "I suggested you work with him, not sleep with him." Delilah: "Well I got confused."



The Magicians -
1. Eliot: "On purpose. Like you guys cast it thinking, 'Oh monster from another world by all means come on in.' So you messed up."
2. Eliza: "There is no destiny, no born heroes. I can't tell you why..why the beast came sniffing for you. There's no reason it should be you. You can either step up to it or not. It's up to you. We'll just hope for the best."
3. Julia: "How am I supposed to trust you?" Marina: "Why would you ever trust anyone?"



New Girl -
1. Schmidt: “Winston, what’s the situation where you only saw one of her breasts?” Winston: “We were playing dinosaur.” (Mark Ondo)



Recovery Road -
1. Charlotte: "Please excuse my daughter's rude behavior." Maddie: "Yes, I'm much more affable when I'm not being institutionalized against my will."
2. Trish: "Guess what I got into. You'll never guess." Maddie: "Oh for the sake of friends and family, I hope it was downers."
3. Trish: "Because guess what? We are roomies. Oh you don't know how excited I am. I've been waiting so long to have a roommate that's not going through menopause," Maddie: "You know, you're crushing my will to live."



Scorpion -
1. Toby: "Pop quiz, hotshot. There's a rocket with some bad fuel. If it launches now it'll crash straight into the Pacific. What do you do? What do you do!" Sylvester: "Why are you asking me that? I thought we just made a plan." Cabe: "Watch a movie sometime."
2. Toby: "What happened to your hipster boots?" Cabe: "Well those damn things almost got me killed. Almost died trying to be someone I'm not. I've got a VCR, I use Brylcreem, and I love John Wayne movies. This is who I am." Toby: "The oldest man in the world." Cabe: "Not old, experienced. And I'm find with myself just the way I am. I don't need a change."
3. Happy: "Okay, how do you not know Speed? A massive out-of-control bus, racing through Los Angeles. It's a classic flick." Sylvester: "Why would I watch that movie? I take the bus every day."



Suits -
1. Rachel: "My father was here. That woman went to him and offered a deal." Mike: "Let me guess...they want me to turn on Harvey." Rachel: "They'll drop all the charges and you won't have to spend a minute in prison." Mike: "What did you tell him?" Rachel: "I told him that I would give you the message." Mike: "That you'd...give me...the message?" Rachel, you know there's no way in hell I am ever gonna turn on him, right? You know that?" Rachel: "Yes, I do." Mike: "Do you?" Rachel: "What's that supposed to mean?" Mike: "It means you should've told him that I'm loyal to everyone in my life, and I would rather go to jail than betray them!" Rachel: "I did tell him that!" Mike: "So then why didn't you tell me that you told him?" Rachel: "Because it's not what you asked me." Mike: "Tell me right now that the idea never crossed your mind that I should take this deal." Rachel: "Of course it popped into my head for a second." Mike: "So you think that I should just turn on them the second things look bad?" Rachel: "That is not what I said." Mike: "Is that what you're thinking of doing to me?" Rachel: "How could you even ask me that?" Mike: "I never even thought for a second that you would even consider an idea so disgusting as turning on Harvey." (Laura Markus)
2. Robert: "So you're gonna do exactly as I say, and I'm gonna help you get out of this thing." Mike: "No. There's no getting out of this thing." Robert: "Oh yes, there is, and you damn well know it. That woman doesn't get anything from prosecuting a fraud like you. But she would love to get Harvey Specter." Mike: "I'm not turning on Harvey." Robert: "Oh, he would do the same goddamn thing to you in a heartbeat!" Mike: "If you think that, then you don't know Harvey." Robert: "You're gonna listen to me: you're gonna get your head outta your ass, because I'm throwing you a goddamn lifeline. It's the only chance you're gonna get to save what's left of your miserable life." Mike: "I won't do it." (Laura Markus)
3. Harvey: "I'm telling you, I am his attorney. If you don't let me see him, I'm gonna break through that door." (Laura Markus)



Supergirl -
1. Cat: "Miranda Crane is in town she is lightening rod for Bigots, Hippies and Aliens and yes that is the order in which I detest them." ~Cat Grant in reference to an arriving senator. (Donna Chidley)
2. Cat: " Because Kara while bigots will always take the gold on the medal podium of my contempt they make excellent click bait also the more they talk the more the sabotage themselves, it's a magical implosion happening right before ... ( I think she was going to say eyes but notices someone in her office) ~Just after in her offices again about the Senator to Kara (Donna Chidley)
3. Cat: " I've handled Putin, Pope Francis , Taylor Swift. This is my son. I will take it from here." ~Another Cat Grant gem this week was in reference to speaking to her son (Donna Chidley)



Supernatural -
1. Sam: "Dean, when I was with Lucifer, he…um, he showed me things. It was like a highlight reel of my biggest failures." Dean: "Yeah, he was messing with you. That's what he does." Sam: "Give me a sec. I should have looked for you when you were in Purgatory. I…I should have turned over every stone, but I didn't. I stopped and I've never forgiven myself for it." Dean: "Well I have. Hey, that's in the past, man. What's done is done. All that matters now, all that's ever mattered, is that we're together so shut up and drink your beer."
2. Mildred: "West facing rooms cost extra. You know you have to pay for the view." Dean: "It's not bad." Mildred: "Not bad. Honey, it's almost as gorgeous as you are." Dean: "Ha!" Mildred: "You know tell me something. When's the last time you watched a sunset without waiting for something to go bump in the night? Hmm, you should try it sometime."
3. Dean: "Are you okay?" Sam: "No, I'm not actually. Not at all. Being so close to Lucifer again, it brought stuff up. Stuff I thought I'd forgot about." Dean: "You want to talk about it." Sam: "No." Dean: "Well look Lucifer's never getting out of that Cage ever and you are never going back. Period. So case closed…and so is this one."



Teachers - first 3 episodes
1. Kid: "What's a mimosa?" Watson: "It's something women in their 20's order so they can feel better about drinking in the morning."
2. Watson: "A bully is someone who generally disregards your feelings, ignores your texts, and changes the password on your joint Netflix account 2 days after you break up."
3. Chelsea: "So I went out with a drug dealer….Jared S, make a better choice."



Teen Wolf -
1. Parrish: "This guy's your father?" Argent: "Wasn't my choice."
2. Malia: "What's the problem?" Braeden: "Besides the fact that I've never seen this place beyond a few aerial photos and we're basically going in blind…him." Theo: "Would you mind not pointing that thing at me?" Malia: "He's coming with us." Braeden: "He tried to kill Scott." Theo: "Technically, I did kill Scott." Braeden: "I should kill you." Theo: "Won't happen with a shotgun."
3. Stiles: "Maybe you can wake up and explain it to me. Oh come on, Lydia. You have to come back to us. There's no way we're getting through this without you. Lydia, you have to wake up."



The X-Files - first 2 episodes
1. Mulder: "I blacked out after Goldman's eyes popped out of his sockets. Believe me. You can't un-see that."
2. Scully: "Mulder, I'm not a fragile little girl." Mulder: "Scully…" Scully: "This is what you suspected all along but were afraid to articulate. Is this what you believe happened to me 15 years ago? When I got pregnant? When I had my baby? Was I just an incubator?" Mulder: "You're never just anything to me, Scully." Scully: "Do you ever think about William?" Mulder: "Yes, of course I do but I've…I feel like I've had to put that behind me." Scully: "He'd be 15 years old now and I've missed every single year of his life. Sometimes I hate myself that I didn't have the courage to stand by him."
3. Mulder: "Tell Skinner to set it up." Scully: "Seriously?" Mulder: "And don't pretend I'm going alone."



Younger -
1. Diana: "The New Yorker? Is there no class left in this world?"
2. Jade: "Last week I watched a cover girl's waist get Photoshopped down to the size of my pinkie, her chest inflated to alien Barbie-sized proportions, and her wrinkles virtually expunged. All this business does is perpetuate the wanked out notion that youth and beauty are the only things that define a woman's worth. I would rather slit my carotid artery than spend one more day in an industry that faults me simply for growing older."
3. Liza: "Remember the good old days when you could take an embarrassing photo without fear that it would be posted on a worldwide platform for millions of eyes to see where it feasibly could exist until the end of days." Maggie: "Why do you think I still own a Polaroid?"

Welcome back to Last Week in TV. I don't know if I was grumpy or if TV really did mostly suck last week. I hope your TV week was a sight better than mine. It seemed like even shows I count on to be entertaining went off the deep end. Good thing there were some highlights and even better that I found new shows to drop. My schedule is way too full as are most of yours from what I hear. I did enjoy experiencing Outlander again, although I originally started reviewing an episode I already reviewed so I added a new one too. Next week, the nominated episode with be from ER. I never really watched ER the first time around so I look forward to seeing why people still adore it. If you would like to nominate an episode, just fill out the short 2-question form below. Until then, leave your comments and happy TV viewing.










Galavant - 2.07 / 2.08 - Love and Death / Do the D'DEW

Hallelujah! Galavant has risen again, and I'm not talking about a potion bringing our favorite hero back from the grave. The show itself has come up from the gloomy depths it has been dwelling in all season and became its normal funny self. The songs are snappier, the choreography jazzier, and the snark, meta, and cultural references have returned in spades. Even the characters seem to be in a better place, well except Madalena who has sold her soul to the devil. The devil might rue that deal. Just saying. Madalena and Gareth are still the best part of the season but the rest of them are rapidly regaining their charm. So much so that I'll really miss this show when its gone. Can't wait to see how the big battle ends but I bet it's a great song.

Grade: A- / B+

Best Reason to Watch - Galavant got fun again, yippee!
Best Scene - Galavant's goodbye / Gareth and Madalena address the troops
Best Song - Goodbye / I Don't Like You
Best Name - Mr. Neo Sporin is the healer
Best Reaction to a Possible Proposal - Madalena kicks Gareth in the face
Best Reference - Sid uses one of my favorite quotes from The Princess Bride / Grease spin-off, "Finally"
Worst Reference - that overused quote from Notting Hill
Biggest Oops - Sid spears Galavant
Biggest Laugh - Gareth's song comes with a karaoke bird to point out the almost words
Most Different - Gal's zombie army is in it for the love
Most Likely to Get to the Point - Roberta
Most Creepy - Galavant's zombie army
Most Baffled - the soldiers who are wondering why their King and Queen are saying they love them
Weirdest Game - Guess the Future with airplanes and DVR's

Best Quotes -
1. Sid: "Could he be mostly dead but not all dead, 'cause mostly dead is slightly alive." Sporin: "Yeah, that's not a thing."
2. Richard: "I just can't believe he's dead." Roberta: "It does seem awfully early in the season for something like this."
3. Sid: "Goodbye. Sorry that I made you die." Galavant: "Sid. It's not okay Sid." Madalena: "Yeah, I'm here. I'm not sure why." Galavant: "Me either. Seriously, who invited you?" Richard: "Hold me 'cause I'm gonna cry." Galavant: "No." Richard: "My Gal pal." Roberta: "Goodbye." Galavant: "Roberta." Roberta: "Seems as though we just said hi." Galavant: "Yeah well we did. Who's this?" Random: "I am just some random guy." Galavant: "What happened? I just run out of friends."
4. Madalena: "Settle down, Tiny Tot. You're the one who came here to surrender." Isabella: "You're gonna regret calling me Tiny Tot." Jester: "Yes, cat fight." Gareth: "Finally! I've been waiting 2 seasons for this."
5. Wormwood: "Oh Gareth, you're smiling. Sorry. Could you stop it? I just find it deeply unsettling."
6. Richard: "Wow, Valencia. It seems like just yesterday I was the worst tyrant this land has ever seen."






Outlander - 1.08 / 1.09 - Both Sides Now / The Reckoning

Note - I was partway through 1.08 when I realized that I had already watched and reviewed this episode. Therefore I went on to episode 1.09, which is why both are on here.

Outlander is a show that sucks you in and doesn't let go. The cinematography is second to none with each landscape even more beautiful than the next. The whole show is simply gorgeous…except the plot. The plot is brutal. From the way historical dramas are being portrayed these days, you'd think every woman was raped by every man in a 300 mile radius every hour of the day. Yikes, I know the times were cruel but I think they're overselling it. Personally I'd prefer if they toned down the nudity as well. I've seen enough of Caitriona Balfe's breasts for a lifetime. Still the characters are engaging and Jamie in particular is written straight out of a fantasy. He saves Claire from a sadist, apologizes even when he doesn't start things, and is about as noble as a candidate for the Round Table. He's also hot. Like I said, a pure fantasy creature a few steps this side of a unicorn. Claire, on the other hand, is the hothead whose actions and words often spew about before thinking through the consequences. I won't lie. Sometimes she gets on my last nerve with her inability to even try to blend in and she often puts herself in danger with her stubborness, but she's a straight up feminist plunked down into a world where women are viewed as property. You have to respect the way she demands to be taken seriously. Outlander will not be for everyone, and from what I hear about the rest of this season, it might not be for me. However, I strongly urge you to give this show a try. If you like the first couple episodes, chances are you'll love it and it will be marathon material for you. If you don't, well you've only spent a couple hours with some of the best scenery in the business.

Grade: B

Best Reason to Watch - If you are of a romantic bent, Jamie is about as picture perfect a romantic hero as you can get. In you are of a feminist bent, Claire doesn't take anything from anyone and demands respect. If you are of a historical bent, the portrayals of life in Jacobite Scotland are intense. If you're more of a visual person, the scenery is gorgeous. In short, there's a little bit of everything for everyone. Action, romance, drama, and lots of naked breasts and butts. (Way too much naked breasts and butts.)
Best Action - fight with the thieves
Best Peacemaker - Jamie, who reunites the two brothers
Best Reference - Sherlock Holmes
Worst Timing - the redcoats take Claire right before she can touch the rocks and get back home
Biggest Twist - Claire kills the man trying to rape her
Biggest Risk - Jamie scales down the castle wall to get to Claire
Biggest Leap of Faith - jumping from the fort walls
Biggest Ummm - Did Dougal just spill that he's the father of his brother's heir? That seems like a big deal.
Most Romantic - Jamie's wedding ring is made from the key to his holdings
Most Noble - Jamie, who does NOT kill Black Jack when he could
Most Needing to Die - Black Jack
Most Useful - knife combat lessons
Least Surprising - the woman is setting Frank Randall up for a trap
Least Grateful - Claire
The "Caught Red-Handed" Award - the laird knows all about their raising money for the Jacobite king
The "Way Too Good to be True" Award - Jamie is way, way too good for Claire. In fact, Jamie is too good for anyone on the planet. Well, Mother Teresa might be as noble as he is. He might as well be Sir Gawain.
The "That Actually Worked" Award - Jamie didn't load the pistol and in doing so was able to take Black Jack down
The "Poor Baby" Award - Frank Randall, who has given up hope at seeing his wife again
Best Music - the theme song

Best Quotes -
1. Jamie: "I'll thank you to take your hands off my wife."
2. Colum: "One day, brother, you'll talk your head off your shoulders and right onto a pike."
3. Jamie: "You are my home now."
4. Jamie: "Your ring, I had the blacksmith fashion your ring from my key." Claire: "Why didn't you tell me that before when you gave it to me?" Jamie: "I meant to wait until I took you back to Lallybroch so you'd know the place was as much yours as mine, but now I don't know if ever we'll get back there."
5. Priest: "Evil has but one cup. They drank long and deep. Yours was but a sip. Make it your last. Turn away from the darkness that beckons you and turn back to the light."
6. Jamie voiceover: "She asked forgiveness and I gave it but the truth is I'd forgiven everything she'd done and everything she could do long before that day. For me, that was no choice. That was falling in love."





Criminal Minds – 11.13 – The Bond
BY EMMA

This week’s case explores the age old concept of the sins of the father coming back to visit his children. While this concept has been thoroughly explored in theology, literature, music and film/television, the twist that we see in “The Bond” is that the son pays for the sins of both his parents. For the most part, this was a straight forward case of the week, and while the twist on the old saying was new, the episode overall fell flat for me. We didn’t get any team bonding moments so this episode ended up being purely procedural and guilty of the greatest TV sin there is – being boring. We only have two episodes in February before we come back to the much anticipated episode titled “Derek” in March so I had hoped that we would’ve gone into this break with a bit more action but in the end, I guess I should appreciate the calm before the storm that we all know is coming in March.

Grade: B-

Best Reason to Watch – twist on “sins of the father” concept
Best Scene – Lewis and Morgan talk Randy (UnSub) down and convince him to act for himself and not for his parents
The “Worst Parents Ever” Award – Randy’s rapist father and murdering mother
The “Welcome Back Award” – Wilson Bethel formerly of Hart of Dixie / Veronica Cartwright from everything, but most recently Resurrection and Bosch

Best Quotes
1. Randy (Unsub): “What do you think?” Flora: “Honey, it’s perfect!”
2. Morgan: “You do not have to be defined by the sins of your father, or your mother.”
3. Lewis (voiceover): “The influence of a mother in the lives of her children is beyond calculation. James E. Faust”



Suits - 5.11 - Blowback
BY Laura Markus

What a fantastic episode. My expectations were low but not unreasonable. This episode was far beyond my wildest dreams. Let's talk specifics: Mike and Harvey. Three words I will never get tired of saying. They had such wonderful scenes. It's like someone actually remembered what this show was built on. And people, Mike will NEVER turn on Harvey, even if you get Robert Zane to assault him. So much of the episode relied on Gabriel and Patrick's chemistry and it was so solid. It didn't feel like we waited months between this episode and the mid-season finale. Speaking of Robert Zane, he clearly has a thing for Jessica. Their scene was a bit odd. But when he showed up to be Mike's attorney in the intro, I was shocked! The intro was amazing! And Jessica was a queen, as per usual. Her scenes with Louis were cute, but I do wish she had more scenes with Harvey, and Mike especially. But there's still time for that. Even Donna and Rachel had great scenes. I enjoy whenever they share screen time; honestly I prefer them together than with any of the men. Blowback features great writing and acting. I only hope the remaining episodes are half as good as this one was.

Grade: A

Best Reason to Watch - Mike's loyalty to Harvey and vice-versa.
Best Scene - Mike yelling at Rachel for even thinking for one second he would ever turn on Harvey, and comparing that idea to something "disgusting".
Funniest Moment - Jessica telling Louis that she's not going mudding with him.
Best New Villian - Anita Gibbs. I already find myself wishing her harm.
The "Oh, Cr**!" Award - Mike showing Jack Soloff that he's still a force to be reckoned with.
Best Pop Culture Reference - Jessica and Louis are huge Lord of The Rings fans.
Most Annoying Scene - Obviously a personal choice, but Donna creepily showing up at Harvey's apartment saying she's coming back to him.
Best Dynamics - Harvey and Mike, but of course. No matter who you send to assault Mike, he's not going to turn on Harvey
Welcome Back: Abigail Spencer as Scottie! It was nice to see her again, however her character deserves so much better than this.

Best Quotes -
1. Rachel: "My father was here. That woman went to him and offered a deal." Mike: "Let me guess...they want me to turn on Harvey." Rachel: "They'll drop all the charges and you won't have to spend a minute in prison." Mike: "What did you tell him?" Rachel: "I told him that I would give you the message." Mike: "That you'd...give me...the message? Rachel, you know there's no way in hell I am ever gonna turn on him, right? You know that?" Rachel: "Yes, I do." Mike: "Do you?" Rachel: "What's that supposed to mean?" Mike: "It
means you should've told him that I'm loyal to everyone in my life, and I would rather go to jail than betray them!" Rachel: "I did tell him that!" Mike: "So then why didn't you tell me that you told him?" Rachel: "Because it's not what you asked me." Mike: "Tell me right now that the idea never crossed your mind that I should take this deal." Rachel: "Of course it popped into my head for a second." Mike: "So you think that I should just turn on them the second things look bad?" Rachel: "That is not what I said." Mike: "Is that what you're thinking of doing to me?" Rachel: "How could you even ask me that?" Mike: "I never even thought for a second that you would even consider an idea so disgusting as turning on Harvey."
2. Robert: "So you're gonna do exactly as I say, and I'm gonna help you get out of this thing." Mike: "No. There's no getting out of this thing." Robert: "Oh yes, there is, and you damn well know it. That woman doesn't get anything from prosecuting a fraud like you, but she would love to get Harvey Specter." Mike: "I'm not turning on Harvey." Robert: "Oh, he would do the same GD thing to you in a heartbeat!" Mike: "If you think that, then you don't know Harvey." Robert: "You're gonna listen to me: you're gonna get your head outta your a**, because I'm throwing you a GD lifeline. It's the only chance you're gonna get to save what's left of your miserable life." Mike: "I won't do it."
3. Harvey: "I'm telling you I am his attorney. If you don't let me see him, I'm gonna break through that door."
4. Harvey: "Robert, listen to me. Mike Ross is a good man. He came to me from nothing. I saw something in him and you did too. That's why you're here."
5. Mike: "You gave her that letter?" Harvey: "I did it to get you out." Mike: "Yeah, I don't care about getting bail if it lands us both in prison."
6. Harvey: "You're gonna let her [Rachel] go down there?" Jessica: "Harvey, she can knock on that door all she wants. They're not gonna let her see him tonight. Besides, she's his fiancée. Seeing him is not gonna make her look guilty." Harvey: "It's not gonna make me look guilty either. It makes me look like I'm standing by my guy."
7. Harvey: "I've got a little secret weapon called Mike Ross."
8. Mike: "I've always been good at math." Anita: "Well, I haven't."






Billions - 1.01 / 1.02 - Pilot / Naming Rights

In the opening scene of Billions, a dominatrix puts out her cigarette on the main character and then pees on him. I was about 10 seconds away from being done with this show right then. Still I stayed because 2 minutes might not be the best way to judge. I'm glad I did. What started off as pay cable trash turned into a psychological war between two pricks, each in it for the power. While that's still not up my alley, it does showcase some great acting and like Dexter before it, I am willing to overlook my general objections to see where this is heading. Essentially US Attorney Rhoades is looking to increase his win column by taking down billionaire Axelrod for insider trading. Both men are confident to the point of cockiness, smart, and ruthless as well. That makes for a great cat and mouse game where you're not quite sure who is winning, if anyone. There is a tedious amount of cursing for no reason and the obligatory nudity, but so far the acting and overall intensity of what essentially is a white collar case overshadow that. I don't think it will for as long as Dexter did but this has marathon view written all over it.

Grade: B- / B
Ranking - 3
Audience - people who enjoy the psychological and logical side of war and don't mind the pay cable excess

Best Reason to Watch - the chess game between two high powered players (and great actors)
Best Scene - Axe and Rhoades come face to face and the gauntlet is thrown
Best Twist - Axe holds a mock SEC raid
Best Pep Talk - Dr. Rhoades, who pumps up Danzig with her Navy Seals speech
Best Product Placement - White Castle for that "man of the people" look
Best Power Dealer - There are big players in here, all of whom make multimillion dollar trades on a whim or take down giants. Still no one gets what they want better than Dr. Wendy Rhoades.
Best Matched Pair - Axe and Lara, who can both be ruthless and aren't above rubbing it in people's faces
Longest Metaphor - Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
Least Surprising - the white collar criminal commits suicide instead of going to jail
Least Likely to Take a Chance - Chuck, who is more concerned about his win streak
Most Easily Fast Forwarded - the sex scenes
Most Gratuitous - ALL the language
Most Disgusting - the dominatrix wife pees on the main character
Most Ostentatious - the $63 million beach house
Most Likely to Hold a Grudge - Axe
Strangest Cameo - Penn Jillette
The "Obviously Not My World" Award - if giving a half a million dollars makes you a cheapskate, I can't even afford to look in from the window
The "Welcome Back" Award - Malin Akerman from Trophy Wife / Paul Giamatti from John Adams / Jerry O'Connell from Sliders and Crossing Jordan / David Costabile from Suits and Dig

Best Quotes -
1. Rhoades: "Every once and awhile there's this thing we say. 'I am never so proud as when I choose not to prosecute a case.' And that's true, in theory, but every once and awhile I wish that I could just be more…human. But I haven't figured out how to do that and my job at the same time, you know." Dr. Wendy: "Being 100% good at your job and 100% good. If you figure that one out, let's both quit and write that book."
2. Axe: "My cholesterol's high enough. Don't butter my a**, Danzig. Just get smarter."
3. Axe: "Then again, what's the point of having f** you money if you never say f***you."
4. Ellis: "We will walk out of here if you don't honor the full amount." Axe: "No you won't. You need this $9 million because none of you, not one, has done a single day of work from the moment your miserable prick of a grandfather fell face down in the sand in Palm Beach and after reviewing your holdings, your business interests, your debts, I know that this check is the only thing standing between your family and bankruptcy. So pick it up, put it in your pocket, and walk out of here or I will."
5. Spyros: "Do the people you work with pretend they're impressed when you speak in riddles like some Kung Fu instructor from the movies?"
6. Axe: "From here on we evaluate every move. Not just for upside but for its ethical grounding." Wags: "We have to be more pure than the Virgin Mary before her first period."



Lucifer - 1.01 - Pilot

Unlike the majority of people here at SpoilerTV, I have zero problem with One Million Moms protesting this show or anyone else exercising their rights. Ridiculing a political group for being political is just silly to me. However, Lucifer does not need anyone to boycott it. It is one ridiculous cliché of bad writing and even worse characters after another. Need a whiny, manchild who thinks that his charm outweighs his complete douchiness? Look no further. He out manchilds Brian from the Limitless pilot. Need a shady ex who is his own level of douche? Why not get the political villain from Arrow to play pretty much the same role? Instead of the hooker with a heart of gold, here's the former star of teensploitation films. Don't even get me started on the crime procedural clichés. It's yet another detective paired with a non-detective. Ten to one odds, Chloe and Lucifer start a will they, won't they relationship too by the end of season 1. It's practically shouted out in the Mad Libs style of writing. Ugh! This show is both dull and irritating.

Grade: D
Ranking - 1
Audience - anyone who still loves when they hook up the two leads in a crime procedural

Best Reason to Watch - if you like police procedurals that will turn romantic, this follows all the mainstays
Best Scene - Chloe pretends to be under Lucifer's spell just to snark at him
Best Character - Chloe, who is also the only good character
Best Ride - Lucifer's car
Best Accessorizing - Chloe wakes up in a hospital bed after being shot with lipstick fully intact
Biggest Brat / Biggest Douche / Most Irritating Character on TV Since Dracula - Lucifer
Biggest Eye Roll - Lucifer brings up hookers with Chloe's 7 year old daughter
Biggest Twist - Chloe is shot
The "Welcome Back" Award - DC Woodside from Buffy and 24 / AnnaLynne McCord from 90210 / Kevin Alejandro from Arrow / Lauren German from A Walk to Remember / John Pankow from Mad About You / Rachel Harris from Surviving Jack and VH1 specials / Bailey Chase from Buffy and a great Cold Case episode

Best Quotes -
1. Chloe: "I have far too many bullets in this thing for you to still be talking."
2. Lucifer: "I've never understood the human desire to procreate." Chloe: "That's probably a good thing."
3. Lucifer: "I suggested you work with him, not sleep with him." Delilah: "Well I got confused."
4. Lucifer: "You humans, you love your money, don't you?" Chloe: "Yes, yes we do. And…uh, what planet are you from?"
5. Lucifer: "Well that would imply she was actually sleeping with that maggot." Chloe: "Really? Jimmy, 2 Vile, Grey Cooper. That's 3 other maggots she's sleeping with. I don't think there's a lot of discretion going on with her."



Recovery Road - 1.01 - Pilot

I fully admit that one of the reasons Recovery Road is rated so high is because I went into it with very low expectations. It's actually one of the few episodes I watched this week that exceeded my expectations. I went into it expecting the brattiness of Finding Carter with the soap opera of Pretty Little Liars and the social preaching of an afterschool special. Instead it transcended them all. I did not expect to actually care for the lead character, Maddie, but she's whip smart and not as emoangsty as I feared. The first montage, which on most shows would have been a long, drawn out temper tantrum, was reduced to 2 minutes at most. She goes into treatment far easier than I ever expected and while her transition is more smooth than reality, it does make for a more compelling lead character. Sure there's traces of ABC Family all over this episode and I definitely expect it to turn more teen as the season progresses, but for right now I am putting this in the category of last year's Red Band Society - a teen drama with adult issues and enough heart that may just become a surprise win for me. If they add a bit more humor into the daily life and keep the teen hijinks to a minimum, I'm in.

Grade: B+
Ranking - 4
Audience - hmm, I would say this is on brand for ABC Family but with less of its emoangsting so if you love much of the new Freeform Channel, this should fit in your wheelhouse

Best Reason to Watch - actually it is all the things this pilot is NOT that makes it worth trying
Best Scene - teaching Maddie to ride a bike
Best Surprise - While Maddie may be an addict, so far she's not an emoangsty, whiny, bratty teen for the most part. She does have her moments but mostly she's snarky.
Best Montage - instead of getting a full-blown emoangsty argument with her mother, Maddie goes through the 5 stages of grief in 1 minute
Worst Sign - the guidance counselor hasn't poured out the vodka she found in Maddie's locker
Biggest Push Over - I don't know what Wes has over Craig but he sure let Maddie stay very quickly
Biggest Twist - Maddie's mom is the one who told the guidance counselor to search her locker
Biggest Meltdown - Maddie over the condom in her car
Least Surprising - the guidance counselor is a recovering addict / Doug didn't get far in his sobriety
Most Annoying - Trish's high-pitched squeal and racetrack fast speech
The "I Think You're Missing Something" Award - They get Maddie elbow and knee pads but not a helmet for learning how to ride a bike? Hmm.
The "Yeah, I Don't Think So" Award - by making it that Maddie and Wes are forbidden to be a couple, it only means love drama from here on

Best Quotes -
1. Charlotte: "Please excuse my daughter's rude behavior." Maddie: "Yes, I'm much more affable when I'm not being institutionalized against my will."
2. Trish: "Guess what I got into. You'll never guess." Maddie: "Oh for the sake of friends and family, I hope it was downers."
3. Trish: "Because guess what? We are roomies. Oh you don't know how excited I am. I've been waiting so long to have a roommate that's not going through menopause," Maddie: "You know, you're crushing my will to live."
4. Trish: "So how did he die?" Maddie: "He was killed by a drunk driver. The irony is not lost on me."
5. Vern: "Maddie, you understand the difference between right and wrong, right?" Maddie: "If I did, would I be here?"
6. Maddie: "You're weird." Vern: "You say that like it's a bad thing."



The X-Files - 10.01 / 10.02 - My Struggle / Founder's Mutation

The X-Files was my first TV obsession even though I almost never saw it. I was way more into Sliders but one of my students suggested I try it and I soon jumped into my first taste of fandom. It introduced me to fanfic and to this day, no one does fanfic better than The X-Files lovers did. I hounded every member of my family to watch it and organized a viewing party of family and friends when the first movie came out. I had the books, the magazines, and even the clock. It was also one of the single biggest TV disappointments in my life. (Looking at you Buffy for the other.) Once I realized Chris Carter was just spinning his wheels and had no clue what the truth was much less where it was, I crashed hard. It is Carter who had me fleeing LOST after the second season. I wasn't going through another show of all questions and no answers. So I approach this special 6-episode event with much trepidation. The season premiere confirmed my worst fears. The whole conspiracy theory is a hodgepodge of everything and the kitchen sink, so vast as to make us forget that Carter never has a clue about his own show's mythology. Mulder's paranoid ravings were ludicrous at best and had me wanting to start a Kickstarter for his therapy. How could one woman and a conspiracy theorist make him throw away his beliefs so quickly without any shred of evidence? You live that long in your beliefs and it takes something huge to mind shift. Humans don't change that instantly without overwhelming evidence and even then it is hard to change someone's mind. The whole thing screamed of plot device MacGuffin. Add to it the constant sniping and lack of real communication between Mulder and Scully and I was about to wash my hands of the whole mess.

Still nostalgia is a powerful bond so I knew I would watch these 6 episodes for better or worse. Thankfully, it got significantly better in the second episode. I think it's better for this show to go with the case-of-the-week format because there were moments when I could glimpse a hint of the show's former glory in this one. The bizarre and the supernatural shined throughout and yet there was still the more rational, Scully side. Plus, Mulder was back to calling her Scully like he should always do. I liked the psychic sibling bond but the real heart of the episode was watching both Scully and Mulder dream of being there as their son grew up. It also showcased their very real fears about the child's safety. My guess is that the real mytharc beyond mad ramblings of conspiracy is the eventual reunion between William and his parents. Surely they must be headed towards this since they keep bringing him up, right? In the end, the second episode was far more compelling than the first and I can only hope there are more standalone episodes in our future.

Grade: D / B
Ranking - cautiously optimistic
Audience - those who have already seen the show because it's not really newbie friendly

Best Reason to Watch - nostalgia
Best Scene - alien craft replica takes off and goes invisible
Best Awww Moment - both Scully and Mulder dream about life with their son
Best Boss Ever - Skinner, who plays within the politics to get his agents the time and things they need
Best Reaction - Mulder to the mock alien craft
Best Twist - reopening the X-Files
Best Return - the music by Mark Snow
Best Thief - Mulder, who pockets mutant kid's blood
Worst Plan - The "shoot the alien first and then figure out questions" method is such a bad cliché . No wonder aliens are always in a bad mood when they arrive on Earth in the movies.
Worst Communication Skills - Mulder AND Scully. I'm not sure how these two ever became a couple with their tendency to run away, go silent, hang up, talk over each other, only see their own point of view, and give up on each other instead of pushing forward through the hard stuff. They are both still so tunnel-visioned.
Least Trustworthy - Chris Carter. I firmly believe each time someone says they can't tell Mulder something, there is only one reason. Carter doesn't know what it is and therefore uses misdirect and cryptic speech to mask his own lack of direction for the show. The truth is out there, my foot. It helps when the creator has some idea of what that truth even is.
Least Observant - that was the second time that kid ran into Mulder
Least Surprising - Mulder's nightmares about his son are the same thing that happened to his sister
Most Ageless - Walter Skinner…and all the pencils still in the ceiling, which may be of alien origin themselves to stay up for so long
Most in Need of a Mirror - Scully, who seems to wear a particularly bloody shade of red on a regular basis. Either wash it off after surgery or date a vampire.
Most Informational and Yet Pointless - Mulder beautifully describes the history of UFO phenomenon only to tell us not 30 minutes later that it is all a hoax
Biggest Say What? - How exactly in CSM still alive? Seriously?
Biggest Laugh - Mulder: "It all makes complete sense." Bwaaahhh!!!!
Biggest Unicorn - anyone who is NOT cryptic on this show
Biggest Douche - Mulder, who keeps blaming Skinner for everything when all he's done was protect them
The "Second Verse Same as the First" Award - I'm pretty sure I've seen Mulder think this is all a government conspiracy before. You know that season when Scully was the believer and Mulder was the skeptic. Why exactly are we doing this again? More importantly, how does talking to one secluded abductee and a billionaire conspiracy theorist equal dumping decades of belief in 3.2 seconds? Not buying this at all.
The "When in Doubt…" Award - …Mulder's always right
The "You Can Just Stop That Right Now" Award - Mulder, every time you can Scully "Dana" in that half-smirk voice I get an uncontrollable urge to Gibbs' smack you…or bury you in socks
The "Oh Poor Baby" Award - Sveta, who's getting screwed over in all dimensions
The "Welcome Back" Award - everyone from the original show / Christine Willes from The 100

Best Quotes -
1. Mulder: "I blacked out after Goldman's eyes popped out of his sockets. Believe me. You can't un-see that."
2. Scully: "Mulder, I'm not a fragile little girl." Mulder: "Scully…" Scully: "This is what you suspected all along but were afraid to articulate. Is this what you believe happened to me 15 years ago? When I got pregnant? When I had my baby? Was I just an incubator?" Mulder: "You're never just anything to me, Scully." Scully: "Do you ever think about William?" Mulder: "Yes, of course I do but I've…I feel like I've had to put that behind me." Scully: "He'd be 15 years old now and I've missed every single year of his life. Sometimes I hate myself that I didn't have the courage to stand by him."
3. Mulder: "Tell Skinner to set it up." Scully: "Seriously?" Mulder: "And don't pretend I'm going alone."
4. Tad: "I had the vehicle bulletproofed." Mulder: "Cause you never know when a gun-toting liberal might go Hinckley." Scully: "You'll have to excuse him. How can we help you, Mr. O'Malley?"
5. Mulder: "What do you make of this, Scully?" Scully: "Well it seems that Dr. Sanjay had a psychotic break and committed suicide. Note the letter opener sticking out of his head."
6. Scully: "I'm always happy to see you." Mulder: "And I'm always happy to find a reason."






The 100 - 3.02 - Wanheda, Part 2

While a much, much, much better than the season 3 premiere, the pacing is still off here. Generally The 100 moves quickly but there are several scenes that drug along in this episode too. It doesn't help that I don't care about Jasper, Jaha, or Murphy. Still the addition of Pike adds tension in the Arkadian ranks and I love that Monty was reunited with his mother. The tale of the day they landed adds much needed back story to Pike's hatred of the grounders and gives their experience the typical 100 brutality. They've been scarred too. Still the very best thing about this episode is the awesome ending. I wasn't sure about Lexa coming back into the story but Clarke's reaction makes a whole lot of sense. I want it to be hard for Clarke to trust Lexa again because the betrayal was so great. I also don’t think these two should ever be in a relationship together. It was bad enough that Lexa is part of Clarke's memories of killing Finn. Add that she's part of why Clarke committed genocide and there's no foundation for any relationship here. Wary allies is even pushing it. As for Mount Weather, I'm still surprised no one is utilizing it. Obviously Pike is going to make a push for taking over, but he's also unstable and we already have one Chancellor Crazypants. Abby is pulled too thin so for me, that leaves Kane for Chancellor at Mount Weather and I am very, very good with that.

Grade: B

Best Reason to Watch - the fantastic twist of an ending
Best Scene - the Farm Station reunited with the Arkadia group / the ending
Best Reaction - Clarke to Lexa saying she needs her help
Best Back Story - death of Monty's dad
Best Visual - Lexa overlooking her kingdom
Best Twist - Roan takes Clarke to Lexa instead of the Ice Nation
Best Call Back - Finn, although I'm still ticked at how they ruined his character
Best Plan - Murphy holds Alie hostage in exchange for Emori
Best Warrior - Roan
Worst Plan / Least Surprising - Bellamy goes after Clarke by himself
Most Clever Attempt - Clarke pretends to be out so that she can attack Roan
Most Destructive - Jasper, who ruins priceless art but at least doesn't screw over everyone in this episode. It's progress.
Biggest Ew - the blood spurting from goon's neck
Biggest Face Palm - Bellamy touches Clarke's hair instead of slicing through her bindings right away
The "About Time" Award - Abby agrees to open the mountain
The "It Does Exist" Award - Apparently Rh null blood is a real thing and people with it go above and beyond, paying to donate their blood for people who need it. Of course it is so rare that it is surprising that even Mount Weather had some of it or that it would last for so long.
The "Welcome Back" Award - Nyko and Lexa

Best Quotes -
1. Lexa: "I'm sorry. It had to be this way to insure that Wanheda didn't fall into the hands of the Ice Queen. War is brewing, Clarke. I need you." Clarke (spitting on Lexa): "You b**. You wanted the Commander of Death, you got her. I'll kill you."
2. Hannah: "I'm staying with my son." Pike: "Damn right you are. Mount up. We're going back into hell."
3. Abby: "Generally a follow up appointment is about checking the old injury, not treating new ones." Jasper: "I was just trying to make the most of our time together, Doc."
4. Abby: "You want me to bring a grounder into Mount Weather for a transfusion? They killed thousands of people for that blood, Jackson." Jackson: "We can't just let him die, Abby. We're doctors." Abby: "I am not just a doctor." Jackson: "Maybe you should be."
5. Kane: "We have a settlement 50 miles south of here. Your people will be safe there." Pike: "You're my people."



Agent Carter - 2.03 - Better Angels

Agent Carter never ceases to amaze me at how well they portray women. I love that the glamorous starlet is actually the brains behind a major scientific corporation. The genius hiding in plain sight role was done expertly by Carter last season and I look forward to seeing how it works in a more villainous light. Frost is a great character. I do wish that they would have waited longer to bring Thompson back in the mix though. He's such a douche all the time so even though they wanted me to feel for him when Sousa refused to go out for drinks with him, I just don't. I'm glad he believes Carter's story now but I foresee him acting like a jerk about it so there's no upside to his character being here. I did miss Dottie in this episode but I hope to see Frost and her in a future scene together. They could be downright diabolical as a team.

Grade: B

Best Reason to Watch - finding out more about Frost and her real nature
Best Scene - Peggy vs. Frost in her dressing room
Best Twist - Frost is actually a genius inventor and scientist
Best Action - Peggy and Jarvis vs. the hit man
Best Save - Jarvis gives Carter an alibi when she's caught snooping and helps fight off an assassin
Best Meta - Carter and Stark snark about the finances of a comic-based movie
Best Manipulator - Frost
Biggest Say What? - the dead guy is only kind of, sort of dead
Biggest Product Placement - Velveeta
Most Interesting Superpower - to make all the creepsters in your life just poof
Most Fun - Stark brings in a lot of women to the males-only club so Peggy can bug the place
Most in Need of Shutting Up - Carter, who tells off Thompson which only makes things worse
The "Not You Again" Award - Thompson is back
The "Welcome Back" Award - Stark

Best Quotes -
1. Jarvis: "If you need a sparring partner….I'm sure Mr. Stark would be more than happy to hire one for you."
2. Stark: "I always thought you should be in pictures, Peg. What do you say? Arlene French called in drunk. You want to play a sassy beer wench?" Carter: "I'd rather be the cowboy." Stark: "Oh I like it. I don't think the audience is ready yet." Carter: "But they're ready for a movie based on a comic book. Sounds like a dreadful idea."
3. Stark: "Film making isn't art. It's more than that. It's science, which is why I am going to beat these movie yahoos at their own game." Jarvis: "Because of your boundless modesty."
4. Carter: "Paper are in the business of selling paper. Finding facts isn't always their top priority." Frost: "Truer words, Agent Carter. You know last week the press said that I was involved in a torrid love affair with Cary Grant. I should be so lucky."
5. Sousa: "I speak Hollywood now."



The Flash - 2.11 - The Reverse-Flash Returns

Dear The Flash, what is up with all the emoangsty drama these days? Remember that golden year we called season 1, when there was humor and laughter and fun on this show? Remember when it wasn't all pain and sacrifice and romance nonsense junking up the works? I barely do either. I liked Patty. I thought she was a great character. After these last 2 episodes, I can't wait for that train to deposit her far, far away. She went from kick butt detective to source of man pain in 5 episodes flat. Argh! Caitlin, who used to be an important part of the team now spends all her time angsting over Jay when she hasn't even had time to grieve for her husband yet. Talk about rebound drama. I want to shake her and send him on the train with Patty. Then there's the West family soap opera. Could this thing get any more melodramatic? Ugh! Finally they throw in some time travel junk to bring back a character Barry already emoangsted over for a full season. Head meet desk over and over and over again. If only the cinematography went down 10 light levels, I'd think I was watching Arrow and I left that show for a reason. I don't know what's in the water at Central City these days, but could someone please find their happy place again. This show is getting too depressing to watch. Thank goodness for Agent Carter.

Grade: D+

Best Reason to Watch - Cisco lives
Best Scene - Barry takes down Reverse Flash…again
Best Moment - During the scene where Cisco and Barry speak from the heart, Wells totally eye rolls. I am with you, Wells. I was eye rolling almost every moment of this episode.
Best Dad Moment - Joe yells at Barry not to kill Reverse Flash
Best Advice - Iris tells Wally to go see his mom
Biggest Aww Moment - Iris tells her mom that she forgives her and Joe comforts Iris in the hospital
Biggest Douche - Wells
Biggest Headache - time line remnant and all other things time travel
Biggest Moron - Cisco tells Reverse Flash about his powers and that they built the cells together. What part of "don't give him any information about his other time here," do you not understand, Cisco? Urgh!
Least Surprising - Patty totally played Barry with the false threat
Most Worthless - Jay
Smartest Person in the Room - Patty, who figures out that Barry's the Flash on her own
The "Not You Again" Award - Reverse Flash is as irksome resurrected as ever

Best Quotes -
1. Cisco: "Are you telling me I can see the future?" Wells: "That's exactly what I'm telling you." Cisco: "Those goggles are getting named immediately."
2. Flash: "You died." Thawne: "Good to know."
3. Wells: "Can you do me a favor and just shut up?" (This is also my quote for the episode.)
4. Wells: "This is his origin story and it's going to happen no matter what you do, but right here, right now, you can send him back to his time. You can save your friend. You can save Cisco and move on with your life." Joe: "This could be a good thing. You can finally let go of him." Barry: "I could throw him 3 centuries from now. He'll always be a part of me."
5. Cisco: "You let him go." Barry: "I couldn't let him take another person I cared about."



The Magicians - 1.02 - The Source of Magic

This show would be a whole lot better if the two main characters weren't such whiny, emoangsty brats, whom I just want to smack. The highlight of this episode was to watch the drippy Quentin get knocked flat on his back by the same magic he tried to attack someone else with. If both Quentin and Julia died, I might be interested in this Harry Potter wannabe. Alas, they don't seem to be going anywhere. Even worse, neither one has any humor at all but they do have a sense of entitlement that makes them even more irritating. Only Eliot is entertaining. In a world of far too many TV shows, I don't have time to watch the two biggest bummers on TV. Sorry, Sera Gamble. I send you all love and I'll definitely check out the next thing you do, but any more of the millennial babies and I'll need my own mind wiped.

Grade: D

Best Reason to Watch - the overall mystery
Best Scene - Quentin gets knocked on his butt
Best Character - Eliot
Best Reference - avada kedavra
Best Twist - Marina is actually the head witch
Biggest Ewww - Julia cuts the fat out of the head guy
Biggest Oversharer - Quentin
Biggest Twist - Kady is working for the evil Marina
Least Surprising - Pete locks Julia and Marina in the meat freezer
Most Annoying Subplot - Julia's whining about not being accepted
Most Crazy Sounding - Quentin saying that the fantasy book is real
Most Likely to be in a Madonna Video - when Pete does magic, it looks like he's vogue-ing
The "Welcome Back" Award - Anne Dudek from Covert Affairs / Kacey Rohl from Working the Engels and The X-Files

Best Quotes -
1. Eliot: "On purpose. Like you guys cast it thinking, 'Oh monster from another world by all means come on in.'"
2. Eliza: "There is no destiny, no born heroes. I can't tell you why..why the beast came sniffing for you. There's no reason it should be you. You can either step up to it or not. It's up to you. We'll just hope for the best."
3. Julia: "How am I supposed to trust you?" Marina: "Why would you ever trust anyone?"
4. Eliot: "So I'm walking on the street, eating a candy bar 'cause by then I already ate my feelings at a professional level."
5. Quentin: "If you're trying to tell me that it gets better…" Eliot: "God no, no. It doesn't. I'm trying to tell you, you are not alone here. Funny little irony they don't tell you - magic doesn't come from talent. It comes from pain."
6. Quentin: "You don't see color and want to go back to black and white."



Scorpion - 2.15 - Da Bomb

Again Scorpion takes an interesting case and twists it all around. I love the play on Speed and how everyone but Sylvester seemed to get it. I am even good with getting rid of Merrick, even though I'm not in favor of making him a Chinese spy to do so. Not only was it a lot to swallow but it didn't provide the cool twist I was expecting. Since when is the first suspicious guy actually the one who did it? Mostly though I liked that another person was able to weigh in on Walter as a human and he seemed to take some of what she had to say to heart. I know the fandom went nuts when Linda blew up at Walter but that seems like an appropriate reaction to having a bomb strapped to you. Granted she might have gone a little easier on the guy who was holding her life in his hands, but she was a little stressed. The only big demerits for this episode was the whole Merrick thing and the fact that they pretty much boldfaced said that they were looking to hook everyone up. I do not want Walter and Paige to ever be a thing so this will they, won't they thing they are pushing so hard right now is irritating in the least.

Grade: B-

Best Reason to Watch - it's the end of Merrick, one of the most annoying characters on the show
Best Scene - Linda and Walter talk about the date
Best Action - Cabe vs. Merrick
Best Reference - Speed
Best Plan - NOT going on a second date with Walter
Worst at Small Talk - Sylvester, which is an accomplishment giving Walter's social skills
Worst Accessory - the buckle on Cabe's shoe gets stuck in the grate mid-fight
Biggest Hmm - How is the Scorpion office NOT a crime scene right now?
Biggest Meltdown - Linda, even though I totally get why she's upset
Biggest Disappointment - Merrick is the bad guy. He was too obvious.
Most Nervous - Before the bomb, Sylvester. During the bomb, definitely Toby.
Most Wrong - Walter, because it's just polite to walk your date to their car
Most Fun - Sylvester extolling the virtues of The Price is Right
The "Of Course It's Not Over" Award - it's not Scorpion if the plan doesn't go sideways at least 3 times
The "Not Him Again" Award - Merrick
The "Welcome Back" Award - Brooke Nevin, who played Kat in Supernatural's Asylum

Best Quotes -
1. Toby: "Pop quiz, hotshot. There's a rocket with some bad fuel. If it launches now it'll crash straight into the Pacific. What do you do? What do you do!" Sylvester: "Why are you asking me that? I thought we just made a plan." Cabe: "Watch a movie sometime."
2. Toby: "What happened to your hipster boots?" Cabe: "Well those damn things almost got me killed. Almost died trying to be someone I'm not. I've got a VCR, I use Brylcreem, and I love John Wayne movies. This is who I am." Toby: "The oldest man in the world." Cabe: "Not old, experienced. And I'm fine with myself just the way I am. I don't need a change."
3. Happy: "Okay, how do you not know Speed? A massive out-of-control bus, racing through Los Angeles. It's a classic flick." Sylvester: "Why would I watch that movie? I take the bus every day."
4. Walter: "You're right. I can't disarm it. That's why we're going to let the bomb go off." Toby: "I might only be a psychiatrist, but they taught us in medical school that blowing people up is bad for their bodies."
5. Linda: "I'm gonna die alone because I was scared I'd die alone." Walter: "Listen to me, you're not gonna die alone." Toby: "You might want to tweak that." Walter: "I mean you're not gonna die. I will do what it takes to save you. I just don't know what it is exactly. I'm trying to figure it out."



Supernatural - 11.10 / 11.11 - The Devil in the Details / Into the Mystic

Talk about your fight between good and evil. How can I assign a grade to these episodes that made me cheer so much but also infuriated me? There were so many great brother moments, including some closure on Jeremy Carver's asinine canon explosion he called season 8. Sam as a whole was fantastic in both. I loved his speech to Lucifer when he said no. I loved his apologt for not looking for Dean in Purgatory. Mostly though I love how much this character has grown since season 1. Sam in season 11 may be my favorite. The graveside chat also showed how much Dean has grown. In earlier seasons he tried to avoid personal conversations but in this one, he asked Sam how he was doing and was willing to talk it through if Sam was. He didn't push his way on Sam but allowed Sam to take it wherever he was more comfortable. This is the maturity I was looking for in season 8, not that contrived drama junk. Still, as much as I adored the brothers in this one, there were several aspects that I just groan over. I HATE that we still have a Lucifer story. Cas being Lucifer's vessel not only does NOT make any sense in the context of season 5, but it also means that I have to suffer through yet another annoying season of Lucifer. Plus it's plain weird to look for the Lucifer in Cas' body. I'm still just getting Cas, albeit more like Leviathan Cas. I'm also not a fan of the returning "Winchester in love with the Big Bad" theme. We've already done this and it ended badly with a more talented writing staff. I'm not sure anything can make this train wreck good. In the end though, the good outweighed the bad. One fantastic brother moment can do that for me and these two episodes had far more than that. How I love those Winchesters!

Grade: B / B+

Best Reason to Watch - lots of great brother moments and brother speeches
Best Scene - Dean and Sam graveside chat, which shows their character growth / Sam's apology
Best Action - Cage fight
Best Return - the salt and burn
Best Meta - Crowley gets a Sam for Christmas
Best Surprise - Mildred wasn't evil
Worst Twist Since Ruby - Lucifer is back and alive in Cas
Biggest Laugh - Mildred and Eileen doing sign language about who has dibs on which brother
BIGGEST URRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!!! - Jeremy Carver, no matter how many times you spout that nonsense about Dean and Sam promising NOT to look for each other, it will NEVER, EVER make any sense. You can't just make up canon that is in direct contradiction to 7 YEARS of canon and think that saying it over and over again will make you right. You suck, Carver. You really, really suck out loud. Please go and let Kripke have his baby back.
Biggest Ew - watching Dean vomit (especially for no reason)
Best Callback - Red Sky at Morning, when Cougar Gert was lusting after Sam
Biggest What the Heck - Lucifer as Santa, killing Crowley
Biggest Child - Dean, messing with Sam's phone
Biggest Say What - If it's that easy to put Lucifer in the Cage, what was the point of season 5?
Biggest Flashback - Swan Song / Amelia
Most Likely to Tell It Like It Is - Ambriel who says both Cas and she are expendable
Most Bizarre - Dean and Sam debating the merits of the Golden Girls
Least Surprising - the deaf maid is a hunter and not the banshee
The "Second Verse, Worse Than the First" Award - Unh, unh. Nope. Just no. We already went through Ruby. I am not going through Dean pining for the Big Bad now. Time to excise this connection.
Canon Decimation #19,637 - How can Lucifer have an angel meatsuit? I thought it had to be a human. If not, why didn't he just do that in season 5?
Best Music - Will You Love Me Tomorrow? By the Shirelles
The "Finally" Award - Sam apologizes for not looking for Dean in Purgatory and I don't blame him at all. I blame Carver the Douche who killed my brothers for 2 seasons.
The "Welcome Back" Award - Colin Ford as the lovely Young Sam Winchester. Nice to have you back, sir. / Dee Wallace from ET and Grimm

Best Quotes - 11.10
1. Sam: "I think whoever wins, you or the Darkness, everyone else loses - so no. My answer is no. It isn't because of Dean or the past. This is about me having faith in my friends, having faith in my family. We will find a way. I'm ready to die and I'm ready to watch people I love die but I'm not ready to be your b**."
2. Crowley: "Welcome to hell." Dean: "Where's Sam?" Crowley: "Don't worry about Sam." Dean: "Oh I'm sorry. Have you met me?"
3. Sam: "Well you wasted your time then, 'cause see I know how this ends." Lucifer: "Oh do you now?" Sam: "Yeah, you'll taunt me and…uh, you'll torture me and I'll say no and eventually, sooner than you think, my brother's gonna walk through that door and kick your a**." Lucifer: "Dean? You're betting on Dean." Sam: "I always have."
4. Sam: "But let's say you gank her. Then what?" Lucifer: "I move to LA. Solve crimes."
5. Rowena: "Lucifer has a plan and…" Crowley: "…And he's the devil." Rowena: "You say that like it's a bad thing." Crowley: "Oh, I'm a bad thing. He's the worst thing. Last time Lucifer went topside, you know what he wanted? Death for you, for me, and every human and every demon." Rowena: "He's changed." Crowley: "Yes, of course. All he needed was the love of a horrible woman."
6. Lucifer: "You hit like a human."

Best Quotes - 11.11
1. Sam: "Dean, when I was with Lucifer, he…um, he showed me things. It was like a highlight reel of my biggest failures." Dean: "Yeah, he was messing with you. That's what he does." Sam: "Give me a sec. I should have looked for you when you were in Purgatory. I…I should have turned over every stone, but I didn't. I stopped and I've never forgiven myself for it." Dean: "Well I have. Hey, that's in the past, man. What's done is done. All that matters now, all that's ever mattered, is that we're together so shut up and drink your beer."
2. Mildred: "West facing rooms cost extra. You know you have to pay for the view." Dean: "It's not bad." Mildred: "Not bad. Honey, it's almost as gorgeous as you are." Dean: "Ha!" Mildred: "You know tell me something. When's the last time you watched a sunset without waiting for something to go bump in the night? Hmm, you should try it sometime."
3. Dean: "Are you okay?" Sam: "No, I'm not actually. Not at all. Being so close to Lucifer again, it brought stuff up. Stuff I thought I'd forgot about." Dean: "You want to talk about it." Sam: "No." Dean: "Well look Lucifer's never getting out of that Cage ever and you are never going back. Period. So case closed…and so is this one."
4. Lucifer: "By the way, I thought I had Daddy issues but you, wow!"



Teen Wolf - 5.14 - The Sword and the Spirit

All hail girl power! The last 2 weeks have been full of strong kickbutt female moments, a trend I hope to see continue on Teen Wolf. I love how Malia and Lydia shared the spotlight tonight and especially how their storylines ended up intersecting. The fact that Lydia finally used her banshee scream to save Malia made it even better. Lydia is going to be a force to be reckoned with, especially if these are just her newbie moves. Malia, on the other hand, was hit or miss for me. The fact that she still trusted Theo enough to let him in on her plans made me cringe and I didn't empathize when he turned on her. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me and all. I did however love her standoff with the Desert Wolf and the small back story we got. Here's hoping there's more on why Talia removed Malia in the first place. That's a bold move even if you think someone's crazy. I also adored that Malia chose to save Deaton instead of pursuing her mom. It shows how much growth she's done since she's joined Scott's pack. Speaking of, the best thing about the night (after kick butt action of course) is the fact that the pack is definitely together again. I only wish that Braeden had been in on the final scene too. She's got skills they need and to be honest, none of them are really good at making feasible plans. Braeden and Argent should be designing this prison break.

Grade: B

Best Reason to Watch - girl power
Best Scene - kick butt montage
Best Reaction - Stiles and Scott when the cop asks if they believe in the supernatural
Most True - you can't pick your parents, but you don't have to cure them either, Argent
Most in Need of a Gibbs' Slap - Malia for trusting Theo
Most Depressing Visual - all the bodies being rolled into the morgue (23 in 2 weeks?)
Least Surprising - Desert Wolf blames Malia for stealing her power
The "You're Missing Someone" Award - Where's Braeden at the ending planning scene?
The "It's About Time" Award - the current timeline and the 5A premiere are now the same

Best Quotes -
1. Parrish: "This guy's your father?" Argent: "Wasn't my choice."
2. Malia: "What's the problem?" Braeden: "Besides the fact that I've never seen this place beyond a few aerial photos and we're basically going in blind…him." Theo: "Would you mind not pointing that thing at me?" Malia: "He's coming with us." Braeden: "He tried to kill Scott." Theo: "Technically, I did kill Scott." Braeden: "I should kill you." Theo: "Won't happen with a shotgun."
3. Stiles: "Maybe you can wake up and explain it to me. Oh come on, Lydia. You have to come back to us. There's no way we're getting through this without you. Lydia, you have to wake up."
4. Malia: "I'm not walking away on a maybe." Braeden: "And I'm not walking in on so much uncertainty."
5. Scott: "Hayden's alive. Everything before that doesn't matter." Liam: "It should. I feel like I have to do more than just say sorry." Scott: "Actually you still haven't done that."



Younger - 2.04 - The Jade Crusade

Younger often plays in 2 different humor pools. One takes sarcastic potshots at our youth-obsessed culture and the generational divide. The other relies on crass sexual jokes and innuendo. Both are readily on display in this episode. So much so that it sidelines the heart I've come to rely on to temper the absurdity of it all. It also makes many of the character interactions feel more like they are serving a one-note joke than growing the characters. Surprisingly it is the normally flighty Lauren who is the most emotionally invested in this episode. In the one scene she has with Maggie, it is clear that she wants to deepen the relationship but Maggie pulls away, presumably due to a bad breakup many years ago. To be honest, I would probably have liked this episode better if they had devoted more time to Maggie's history. Instead the "A" storyline focuses on Kelsey's attempt to land a trending fashion blogger as the first author for the Millennial imprint. Jade has that cool, disaffected, screw you attitude that gets old really fast, but she does deliver quite the tirade on the fashion industry and their attempt to limit beauty to youth. It's awesome. What isn’t is ALL the double entendres about the size of Charles' penis. This never needs to be an actual subplot again. EVER!

Grade: C

Best Reason to Watch - Maggie
Best Reason to Skip - more double entendre and innuendo than a bad Cinemax film
Best Scene - Jade lambasts the fashion industry
Bets Reference - Oprah
Best Use of Flattery - Kelsey gets Diana to agree to let Liza help by including Diana in the meeting
Worst Way to End a Relationship - Josh has sex with a model to get his ex to believe it's really over
Most Shocking - Lauren wants to get serious with Maggie but Maggie's not so sure
Most Embarrassing - Charles' crotch shot online (and the amount of screen time devoted to it)
Most Insane - Jade, even before Josh confirmed it
Most Farfetched - anyone has enough clout to get a photo down from so many different websites
Celebrity Cameo - author Jennifer Weiner

Best Quotes -
1. Diana: "The New Yorker? Is there no class left in this world?"
2. Jade: "Last week I watched a cover girl's waist get Photoshopped down to the size of my pinkie, her chest inflated to alien Barbie-sized proportions, and her wrinkles virtually expunged. All this business does is perpetuate the wanked out notion that youth and beauty are the only things that define a woman's worth. I would rather slit my carotid artery than spend one more day in an industry that faults me simply for growing older."
3. Liza: "Remember the good old days when you could take an embarrassing photo without fear that it would be posted on a worldwide platform for millions of eyes to see where it feasibly could exist until the end of days." Maggie: "Why do you think I still own a Polaroid?"
4. Maggie: "They are in Pumpkin Spice hell."
5. Jade: "I've got to give you one thing. I mean you b** are pretty desperate." Liza: "Exactly. Would HarperCollins ever kidnap you and make your ex-boyfriend apologize?"






Elementary - 4.09 / 4.10 - Murder Ex Machina / Alma Matters

Grade: B- / B+

Best Reason to Watch - the father-son interactions
Best Scene - Sherlock rides with the murderer to the police / Sherlock and his father talk at Baker Street
Best Character Interaction - Sherlock and Moreland
Best Reaction - Sherlock to Watson saying she was going to dinner with his dad
Best Cliffhanger - the failed assassination attempt on Morland's life
Biggest Hope - it's my belief that Sherlock is using his reputation as a way to save face while really trying to protect his dad
Biggest Baby - Sherlock pours out Morland's honey
Biggest Douche - Sherlock to his father
Biggest Laugh - Sherlock takes over the conference Power Point
Most Dysfunctional - the Holmes' family
The "Thou Protesteth Too Much" Award - Sherlock makes a big deal about cutting off ties with his father in part because he is disgusted that his own father would even briefly consider him capable of killing, but he was certainly capable and willing to kill Oscar last season. He's even said that everyone has the potential to kill before.
The "I'm with You" Award - I think plea bargains are a necessary evil as well
The "Well That's One Way" Award - if you are going to hire hit men, it's quite efficient to have the getaway car dispose of them too
The "Welcome Back" Award (actor) - Tom Wopat from Dukes of Hazzard / Tamara Tunie from SVU
The "Welcome Back" Award (character) - Morland and Mason

Best Quotes -
1. Sherlock: "You and I have had our differences to put it mildly, but I've always thought that at the very least you knew the content of my character. If you don't know without question that I'm not a killer, then there really is no foundation for us to build on. This experiment of ours has reached its end if for no other reason than to preserve my safety and Watson's. I do hope you'll agree. Oh and if you have any lingering doubts, here's how you can be certain I'm not the one who tried to kill you. You're alive."
2. Sherlock: "I see very much what I expected to see, a psychopath with no real human connections except the facades he maintains for convenience. A vampire of sorts, but instead of blood you feed on hopes and dreams." Trager: "Do one I haven't been called." Sherlock: "Very well. You're a double destroyer of lives. Once when you rope people into debt and then again when you use that debt to leverage them into doing your bidding."
3. Bell: "Is anything this kid's doing legal?" Sherlock: "Define legal."
4. Watson: "Were you in a fight or were you having sex?" Sherlock: "The two aren't mutually exclusive."
5. Bell: "Okay, first let's get your hand out of my face."
6. Sherlock: "You said you were deliberately fed a false lead to cast suspicion on me. That is an affront to my reputation, an offense which I cannot abide. You stay, go, I don't care, but either way I'm gonna find and stop whoever tried to kill you."



Teachers - 1.01-1.03 - Pilot-Duct Duct Goose
~I read about many people protesting this show for how negatively it portrays teachers. I would rather protest this show for how stupid and unfunny it is. And yes, I'm a teacher.
Grade: D
Ranking - 1
Audience - people who thought Bad Teacher was too mature

Best Scene - the teachers come together for the "ceiling safety" video to protect one's job
Best Reference - Rambo
Worst Subplot - hot dad
Biggest What the Heck? - Exactly what class has only 9-12 kids in it? I want to teach at that school.
Most Drawn Out Subplot - the teacher getting over her breakup
Most Incompetent - draw any character name out of a hat and they qualify
Least Surprising - the grief counselor dies
The "Welcome Back" Award - Trevor Larcom from Fresh Off the Boat
Best Quotes -
1. Kid: "What's a mimosa?" Watson: "It's something women in their 20's order so they can feel better about drinking in the morning."
2. Watson: "A bully is someone who generally disregards your feelings, ignores your texts, and changes the password on your joint Netflix account 2 days after you break up."
3. Chelsea: "So I went out with a drug dealer….Jared S, make a better choice."
4. Principal: "Your compliments board turned into an insult board. We have a band of vigilantes squad. It's like Lord of the Flies out there."
5. Chelsea: "These are bad kids." Feldman: "The worst."

Last episode, I lamented the lack of strong relationship moments in lieu of cheap jokes and double entendres. No such problem here. This episode may be the single best Josh and Liza episode yet. I'm no shipper but even I was rooting for this couple at the end. In fact, I've never liked Josh more. He shows a maturity that has been lacking before and his ability to roll with situations makes him better able to cope than Liza. Josh looks for the good, the adventure, in things while Liza sees the problems, which culminates in Josh being the voice of wisdom. I really like how they are developing his character this season.




The episode opens with Liza and Josh in bed teasing about spooning when Josh gets a notice that Caitlin, Liza's daughter, is now following him on Instagram. Josh thinks it's sweet; Liza freaks out. The last thing she wants is for her new life to collide with her old one. Sadly she doesn't get her wish. Spurred on by Caitlin's mention of a hot new guy in Liza's life, a couple from her New Jersey days stop by the club where Josh's band is performing and ask the two over for dinner. To Liza's horror, Josh says yes. What ensues is a bit of culture shock and a huge dose of reality hitting Liza. Let's just say Michelle doesn't pull punches.



The B story line is less exciting, mostly because Jade is the biggest part of it. While she was irritating in the last episode, she's downright obnoxious here. Still it leads to one of the driest Diana comebacks ever. Miriam Shor does dead eye sarcasm so well. Kelsey though is NOT amused. She's feeling the pressure of putting her whole budget into one book and Jade isn't playing by her contract. In fact the more Kelsey pushes, the more Jade rebels. Finally beyond frustrated, Kelsey and Lauren spend the evening trying to track Jade down via social media. It's good to see the friends share extended screen time together again. Check out the episode yourself on Wednesday at 10/9C on TV Land.


Grade: A-

Best Reason to Watch - Josh
Best Scene - Liza's Risk explanation to Maggie
Best Character Interaction - Liza and Josh
Best Hardball - Kelsey threatens Jade's agent
Best Metaphor - Risk, the game
Worst Night - you know it's a bad evening out when you resort to ………..
Least Surprising - Jade's little twist
Most Excited - Josh about New Jersey and the trellis
Most Willpower - anyone who doesn't immediately Google "truffle butter" when the episode ends (I didn't but it's mostly because I knew I wouldn't be able to unsee whatever it was.)
Most Annoying - Jade
Most Mature - Josh
Most Screwed - Kelsey
Biggest Problem - Caitlin
Biggest What the Heck - people would ever spend that much money for a burger
The "I Don't Get It" Award - I'm not sure a trellis is worth celebrating for any reason, even if it's pretty cool looking
The "You're Probably Right but Stuff It" Award - Michelle

Best Quotes -
"But what about me? Why am I not on the board?""Because you're home. You're the safety zone."
"Come on. If we're gonna have this relationship, we have to talk. You can't hide from everything."
"Did you eat the whole thing?"
"Google it. Google it now."
"How does this happen?""Oh you know how these things happen.""No, I don't. I honestly don't."
"How'd you get to be big spoon, huh? I'm supposed to be big spoon. Okay, never mind. I like being little spoon."
"Well the book signing should be fun."
"We're not serious?"
"You know that's not how you play Risk but go on."
"You need me to tell you to pick you? Woman up."
"Your life is not a board game. It's a spider web.""Then I should be okay, right? Because I'm the spider.""I think you're also the fly."


Screencaps by TV Land

It's a new episode so we've got a new Bingo card ready.  You can play online, print out a few choices, or create your own.  It's just as fun and half the danger of a drinking game.  Or as Merry Merino does it, mark a square and eat a cookie.  Back by popular demand, "Jeep breaks down" has been resurrected (poor Roscoe) and to make things a little easier because we want everyone to Bingo here, "Kira uses her belt sword" has been changed to "Kira uses a sword." If all goes well tonight, this will also be the last episode for "Scott tries to get pack back together." Make sure your card has that square on it because it's a gimme tonight.  If you have other suggestions, comment below or tweet me @dahne1.  As always, if you get a Bingo let me know and I'll shout you out on the podcast.



Bingo Card Links:

Online
Set of 8
Make Your Own