Welcome to Last Week in TV, a weekly column where I discuss the TV I've watched and hand out episode awards. Please add your own reviews and episode awards in the comments section below. Every week I take one show nominated by you, the readers, and add it to my watch list. I've been fortunate to discover some of my favorite new shows this way. This week was Orphan Black, which I had already started watching a few months back. I am almost finished with season 1 and look forward to season 2. If you have a show you'd like to nominate, the short (2 question) form is right about the comments section. Until next week, happy TV viewing!


Overall Awards:

Episode of the Week - Star-Crossed - 
Our Toil Shall Strive to Mend

Believe me, I am as shocked as you are that this was the best episode I saw this week. It wasn't even close. This was the Star-Crossed I have been waiting to see. It sidelined the love schmoopiness (and Emery for a good portion - yeah!) to concentrate on the political and cultural issues of an alien species crash landing in your lap. Getting to see the issue from multiple sides, both human and Atrian, made the episode. In addition secrets were exposed, we finally got to see the Atrian ship, and Drake, Teri, and Grayson got more screen time. I easily find them the most compelling teens, along with Roman, on the show and I look forward to seeing their growth as pressure increases. The parallel between Teri and Grayson flowed nicely and I hope Star-Crossed keeps exploring how they navigate their parental pressures. I don't like that Teri chose a side based on jealousy, but I am guessing she will make quite the spy when things turn around. Roman also saw tremendous growth by stepping up as leader and diffusing a hostile situation. Still the best part of the episode was the Trags. Vega was a powerful new character and I hope she will continue to be featured. In fact I hope we get some back story for her character, especially if it contrasts Nox and her.



Scariest Show - Those Who Kill (A&E) - 1.01 - Pilot

SPOILER ALERT - This contains the main plot points and twists of the pilot episode. Read only if you want to know.

I watch a lot of TV and most of it is genre, so it is a rare episode that makes me jump much less scares me. This episode makde me jump 4 different times, each more scary than the last even when I knew one of them was coming. This isn't your tame serial killer, whose pictures or autopsies are designed to gross the audience out or make them uncomfortable. This is watching a killer torture a woman repeatedly. It goes so far as to show him starting to get off on his victim's screams. To say it made me uncomfortable may be the biggest understatement of all. Add to it that the main characters were each creepier than the serial killer in their own way. To watch a lead character trap another in the same box the killer used, cut off the oxygen, and lay down on top of it was the most disturbing of all. I don't care how "method" of a criminologist he is, that is sick. Adding to the torture of a terrified woman even for a couple of minutes is unexcusable. The other lead character doesn't come off any better. From having pictures of serial killers' houses hanging on her wall like an art gallery to the way she made the serial killer cross his arms before cold bloodily shooting him, she is by far the most damaged character and this is only the first episode. To put it in TV math terms, Those who Kill = (the torture porn of The Following x 20) + the moral bankruptcy of any basic cable antihero + the pacing of Hannibal - anything remotely resembling joy or humor.


Best Scene / Best Use of Music - Goldbergs - Goldbergs Never Say Die - Barry and Erica prank Adam with a fake treasure hunt

Let's face it, siblings play the best pranks and this one was amazing. Tired of Adam's obsession (and TV hogging) with the movie, The Goonies, Erica and Barry create a fake treasure map and store it in the back of a picture frame in their attic. Just like in the movie, Barry knocks it over so Adam finds the map. Barry then teases him about the lost Benjamin Franklin treasure hidden somewhere in the town. Adam's so excited that he finally has an adventure to go on of his own that he can't see how clearly made up this is. He gets all his friends to dress up as Goonie characters, forcing casual acquaintancew David Kim to play the part of Data over his strong objections. The treasure map leads them to bike across the street with great pomp and circumstance. Inside a knot in teh tree is a note saying that Adam is a loser. It's heartbreaking to see him so crushed, but you still have to admit it was a great prank made better by the accompanying Goonies music. In fact, they did a great job of incorporating the original music throughotu the episode, even the instrumentals. Overall, thsi one one fantastic episode.


Biggest Awww Moment - Almost Human - 
Straw Man - Dorian gets John a fancy new leg

One of the reasons why I want Almost Human to be renewed is the fantastic buddy cop vibe of Dorian and John. (Plus answers to all the dangling plot threads.) While airing the episodes out of order, hurt the natural flow of that relationship development, it is clear that while John was distrusting of Dorian in the beginning they are now partners now. Earlier in the episode, John is asked to assess Dorian's fitness as a cop and he gives him a glowing review. Finding out about it, Dorian decides to give John a present of a new prothestic leg to replace his mediocre one. It'sz a touching gift that points out just how John has progressed when it comes to technology in his life. It also shows how well Dorian knows his partner. John would have never gotten one for himself and he doesn't show his glee around Dorian, but when he goes back to pick it up on the way to another crime scene he is beaming. It's a gift from the heart, and John knows it. With a partnership like this, it's hard to think of it ending so soon.


TV Trend of the Week -  Answers

If last week was all about the back story, this week is all about answers. Surprisingly none of them came from the only show finale. Whether as the gist of the entire plot like Teen Wolf or just a teasing snippet like The Blacklist, TV was falling all over itself to give us answers this week, way sooner than usual. In Teen Wolf we finally found out Kira's family's connection to the nogitsune and how it came to be. Helix featured the Alien Answer Dude, who was quite chatty before killing himself, and verified how Julia's blood was special. Star-Crossed had Emery finding out about Grayson's family running the Redhawks, while The Blacklist confirmed that Tom's marriage is an assignment instead of love. SHIELD gave us a glimpse into T.A.H.I.T.I. while keeping its love of acronyms alive. Even The Big Bang Theory explained why Howard and Sheldon are always picking on each other. The first week of March sweeps was a win for people wanting to know what the heck was going on in their shows.



Nominated and New Shows:

Nominated Show: Orphan Black - 1.06 - Variations under Domestication

I confess. I have actually seen this episode before, but since it was specifically chosen as the nominated episode I decided I should review it instead of a different one. It also helps that this is one of the better episodes. It took me a bit to get into the series, but once I did I liked the mythology of it. Currently I have 2 episodes left in season 1 before starting season 2. Basically a con woman finds out that she is a clone. She fakes her own death and assumes the life of another clone who committed suicide. As the series progresses, she finds other clones and they all work together to try to figure out what happened to them and why. There is a lot of genetics and evolution philosophy, but at the heart it is a mystery with layers being peeled back slowly. I recommend this sci fi intrigue for people who aren't squeamish about nudity (although there isn't a whole lot, there is some), enjoy complex mythology where you have to pay close attention, and who don't mind taking a few episodes to really get into it. I'd also recommend it for anyone who is thinking about going into acting. Because Tatiana Maslany plays so many roles, it is a great way to look at character nuances.

Grade: B+
Rating: 4

Best Scene - Sarah tells Donnie to appreciate Alison more

Best Quote - Cosima: "Stick to the science? What am I? The geek monkey now."

Best Moment - Paul switches out the drugged alcohol for non-drugged whiskey

Best Reason to Watch - Tatiana Maslany playing multiple roles

Best Chance at Answers - Dr. Leekie and his neolution theory

Funniest - Alison threatening her husband with crafting scissors and a hot glue gun / Paul's confusion over drunk Alison and tied up Donnie

Biggest Flip Out - Alison whacks Donnie with a golf club and then holds him hostage with a hot glue gun

Best Use of Music - Lovefool by The Cardigans

Best Action/Save - Paul keeps Vic from making a scene at the party and then knocks him out

Most Gross - Paul nail guns Vic's hand to the chair

Least Surprising - Delphine and Leekie are involved


New Shows:

Those Who Kill (A&E) - 1.01 - Pilot

This is the most intense cop show I think I have ever seen. Everyone in it has Issues, capital "I" issues. Like "they may be creepier than the serial killers they are hunting" issues. Let's just say that it's a keep the lights on and group watch kind of show. Catherine, a detective, and Thomas, a criminal psychologist (I think), work together to locate and stop a serial killer who targets women trying to improve their lives. While it may sound like a typical crime procedural, it most assuredly is not. Things were far too intense for that and I am really not into torture porn. This is not my kind of show but for those who like genuine scares and morally ambiguous characters, check it out.

Grade: C
Ranking: 1

Best Quote - Frank: "So here's the deal. Every time this psycho kills someone you're going to feel responsible and you should."

The "What the Heck?" Award - Why did the psychologist guy lock the cop in and lay down on the death trap?

The Scariest Scene - The killer appears right behind Catherine and dumps her in the death trap.

Creepiest Non-Serial Killer - tie - Catherine and Thomas. Catherine with her wall of serial killer homes and Thomas with his getting in the mind of the serial killer evil.

Obligatory Cop Back Story - I'm guessing child abuse and probably something to do with her brother.

The "Freaking Install a Peep Hole" Award - Egads! That serial killer is like a freaking Jack-in-the-box. He keeps popping up and scaring me half to death.

The "Are You Kidding Me?" Award - Catherine shoots the killer in cold blood


Sirens - 1.01 - Pilot

Sirens is the Mixology of this week in that it is really, really not funny. I could see value in the Theresa character but mostly it's 10 year old boy humor or raunchy to try to get a rise. Just bad entertainment all around. None of the 3 main characters are the least interesting and they feel stereotypical at best. Maybe it gets better in subsequent episodes but this one is a pass for me.

Grade: D
Ranking: 1

Best Scene - Theresa tells off Johnny while he stalks her

Best Quote - Johnny: "You have 8 brothers and sisters. When you say kids, it makes me think about living with the entire Cubs pitching staff." Theresa: "With one major difference, my kids could hold a lead in the 9th."

Best Reaction - Johnny and Hank when Brian doesn't know who Mike Ditka is

Best Product Placement - Gatorade

Best Awww Moment - Hank has Johnny as his ICE



Weekly Shows:


Almost Human - 1.13 - Straw Man - Season Finale

As far as season (and possibly series) finales go, this was rather low key. There's no cliffhanger. There's no big dramatic scene. There's also no answers to the many dangling plot points. It was a typical case of the week episode. I guess that's mostly because while writing they were likely still expecting a few more episodes in a back order. While the case was intriguing if a bit confusing, the real highpoint is getting more Kennex back story. Listening to him talk about his father and see his obvious pride was a fantastic scene. It was also nice to see how far Kennex and Dorian have come as partners. I hope this show is renewed for another secrets. I hate dangling plots as much as I love the buddy-cop feel of Almost Human.

Grade: B for the episode, C for a season finale

Best Scene - Kennex tells the story of his dad's honesty

Best Quote - Dorian: "I get it. I really do, but I'm glad Maldonado put us together."

Best Moment - Paul gives the homeless shades guy money for a motel

Best Reason to Watch - Kennex messing with Dorian over his interview

Best Technology - cupcake printer - yum!

Scariest Technology - Bioprinting humans

Funniest Moment - Dorian starts crying to Kennex's dismay

Best Boss - Maldonado, who seems to really know her officers, also knows the work smarter principle

Worst Advice - Rudy tells Dorian to act like an MX

Most Confusing - Why was this guy keeping bodies again? Something about cyborgs and test patients and bio breakdowns. It still makes no sense to me.


Star-Crossed - 1.03 - 
Our Toil Shall Strive to Mend

This was by far the best episode of Star-Crossed yet, mostly because it focused primarily on the political intrigue and sidelined Emery for the majority of the episode.

Grade: A-

Best Scene - Vega tells Teri she will have to make a choice

Best Quotes - Grayson: "Hate doesn't take a weekend."

Best Reason to Watch - Vega and the Trags

Best Interaction - Vega and Teri

Most Interesting Side Plot - Jules turning into a blue glow stick

Biggest Stalker - Emery has crossed the line from infatuated to full-on stalker at this point. It's not cute or interesting. It's the best reason to fast forward. Character re-haul stat! Right now I just want her dead.

Most Inspiring - Roman's speech

Most Touching - The Atrian wall of the missing

The "What the Heck" Award - Vega kills Beaumont with black cyper

Biggest Shock - Gloria has an Atrian son


Teen Wolf - 3.21 - The Fox and the Wolf

Teen Wolf was a disappointment this week. Because its primary purpose was information dumping, it made the hour seem to drag on. This was especially true since the majority of it took place in flashbacks when none of the main characters were even alive. The main character's only job was to listen to his girlfrien'ds mom tell her story. The other characters planned or walked around the entire time. The best thing about this episode was a new character, Parrish, bringing the comic relief and the fact that we now have enough answers that the show can race throught he last 3 episodes. Perhaps I would have liked this episode better if it had occurred sooner in the season, but we only had 4 episodes left before the longest Teen Wolf hiatus I will experience so far. They could have told everything important in half the time and moved us closed to saving Stiles.

Grade: C-

MVP - answers

Best Scene - Allison breaks down in the elevator and Sheriff comforts her

Best Quote - Parrish: "I'm not kidding. This thing's a few watts from being a light saber."

Best Reaction - Kira to learning her mom is 900

Best Reason to Fast Forward - Romeo and Juliet: The Internment Years

Scene Stealer - Parrish

Best Surprise - Satomi the werewolf


Blacklist - 1.15 - The Judge

This is the second episode in a row with a strong, compelling female criminal of the week. Sadly it just magnifies the issues I have with Elizabeth and the episode drag that is her marriage, even if we did get confirmation that it's all a sham. For me, the highlights of this episode were Ruth and Red's former roommate. Their stories outclipsed even the great Red Reddington or the return of Lance Reddick to my TV.

Grade: B+

Best Scene - Red tells Ruth the truth about Rifkin and says she will peacefully give herself up

Best Quote - Jolene: "Wrong answer. Elizabeth Keen is not your wife. She's your target."

Red: "The day you started this you knew it would inevitably end, that when you released your first prisoner you would get caught. You don't want to diminish your legacy of righteousness because of him, which is why you're going to surrender."

Best Backstory - Red's former roommate explains how his association with Red ruined his career

Best Reason to Watch - Dianne Wiest makes a sympathetic but scary avenging angel

Best Surprise - Lance Reddick returns to my screen. (Nice to have you back Broyles and great hat!)

The "Holy Freaking Blizzard, Batman" Award - When Lizzie goes to question the marshal, the wrath of Mother Nature pours down more ferociously than anything I've seen on TV, except in fake blizzards. Kudos to these two for marching through bad conditions.

Most Shocking (sorry, it had to be done) - Ruth uses an electric chair to kill

Best Results - the pleas of the prisoners are going to be reviewed

Biggest Advance in the Plot - They confirmed that Tom is in Lizzie's life as a job


SHIELD - 1.14 - T.A.H.I.T.I.

Skye lives and absolutely no one on the planet is shocked. A good 20% are probably disappointed as well, me included. Mostly this turned out to be a rescue we all knew would end in success so nothing about it felt tense or emotionally fraught. In fact the best part was the introducing of Garrett and Tripllett, who added much needed color to the episode. I sincerely hope they come back again, as good or evil. It doesn't matter to me as long as they keep the trademark snark. I expect that we also got some much needed answers but since I have no idea who or what Big Blue is, it was mostly a wash for me. Since next week appears to be a marketing tool to get people to see the latest Marvel movie, I'm not sure anything will be cleared up then either.

Grade: C+

Best Scene - May beats the stuffing out of Quinn when they're told there is nothing they can do

Best Action - Ward versus Triplett

Best Quote - Fitz: "So what about Tahiti?" Coulson: "Turns out, wasn't so magical."

Best Reason to Watch - the newbies, Garett and Triplett

MVP - Garrett

Biggest Non-Surprise - Skye is saved. This is the worse part of the episode as well.

Most Gunfire - For 2 people guarding a silo, they sure shoot up the place.

The "Huh?" Award - I have no idea what that body was at the end but I know something big just happened.

The "Aliens Suck" Award - Lorelei Jedi mind tricks a poor schlub into leaving his new bride behind. Next stop, divorce.


Goldbergs - 1.16 - Goldbergs Never Say Die

I loved this episode mostly because it is an homage to one of the greatest 80's films of all, The Goonies. From the music integrated so well to the movie clips to the spoof of hunting for their grandma's missing jewels, The Goldbergs was spot on in capturing the delight of watching The Goonies as a kid. Even Adam's big rallying speech made me laugh, pointing out issues I had with the movie as well. I'm surprised he didn't talk about the gunpowder though. Overall this was the most satisyfing bit of nostalgia yet and another example of why The Goldbergs is far superior to almost all comedies out there. If you are not watching this show, you should definitely check it out.

Grade: A-

Best Moment - Erica tells Barry that this is a biking, not driving time

Best Awww Moment - the kids all having fun riding their bikes

Best Quote - Adam's Goonies speech

Best Reason to Watch - The Goonies (video clips, background music, quotes)

Best Recurring Characters -Mirsky, Dana, and Chad

Best Revenge - Adam gives Barry and Erica the silent treatment for over a week

Best Homage - Barry lifts up the mini-fridge and everyone crawls through his legs / Erica plays the piano

Funniest - Beverly and Barry workout video


Trophy Wife - 1.15 - Happy Bert Day

Sadly, Trophy Wife wasn't very funny this episode. I felt little sympathy for Kate wanting to get in with the neighborhood gossips or Pete getting so much glee over Diane's comeuppance. Both Jackie and even Bert were more annoying than fun. The ending when Kate forgives Jackie was touching and showed again why Kate is the superior character in so many ways.

Grade: C-

Best Scene - Diane, Pete, and the cop

Best Quote - Pete: "Protect our home."

Best Character Interaction - Diane and Pete

Best Reason to Watch - Pete trying to keep his house clean in a party for 8 year olds

Best Reason to Fast Forward - Kate making Bert's party all about her

Most Relatable - Diane's impatience and road rage

MVP - the cake

Best Speech - Pete's soccer rallying speech about not touching the ball so they can tie

Most Superfluous Guest Star - the guy from the Bachelor

The "Say What?" Award - no teenage girl would ever let her brother talk to the guy she was interested in for her / no teenage boy would wear a locket of his parents


Perception - 2.12 - Brotherhood

After sticking Max with a lame prodigy story last week, Perception is back on track with an awesome story about Max's brother, with enough back story to flush out his character more. We learn about his time in foster care and see his guilt over basically abandoning his brother in the pursuit of the everyday. While the case was transparent from the beginning and the actual shooter immediately recognizable, this was more about character development. The interaction between Max and Kenny as well as the spat between Max and Daniel made this episode.

Grade: B+

Best Scene - Max convinces his brother to turn himself in

Best Quote - Kate: "The great Daniel Pierce, wrong. What prompted this groundbreaking admission?" Daniel: "Well I'm probably not wrong." Kate: "Okay good, I thought I lost you there for a second."

Best Reason to Watch - Max back story

Best Interaction - Max and his brother

Best Return - Caroline is back, my favorite hallucination

Funniest - Max imitates Kenny's snoring

Most Well-Thought Out Running Away Plan - Kenny plans to run away and become a welder so his work can outlast him. He also has a job lined up. While this is bound to end in utter failure, he's at least got a plan. Most kids who say they are running away never think past getting out.

The "Way to Guilt Mom" Award - Max lays it on thick with Kenny's best friend, Charlie, in order to get him to confess to the murder


Growing Up Fisher - 1.02 - Blind Man's Bluff

The second episode of Growing Up Fisher was less funny and heartwarming than the pilot. I did like how Joyce seems to be slightly growing up and it makes sense that Mel's blindness would get out. Henry pretending to be blind was not funny at all though. Katie remains the most mature but to be honest, it is Runyon who sticks out the most. He's funny. Growing Up Fisher gets one more episode from me in the regular season but it will likely go to summer viewing after that.

Grade: C

Best Quote - Mel: "Just be yourself." Henry: "I have a 12 year old track record of that never working."

Scene Stealer - Runyon

Best Character Interaction - Katie and Henry

Funniest - Runyon gives Henry a makeover

Best Moment - Joyce finally acts like a mom

Best Throwback - Yoda impressions


Wonderland - 1.09 - Nothing to Fear

Wonderland is many times a campy romp of fun. Knowing that it is only one season long makes it even more breezy fun because there's nothing to get attached to. However, in this long hiatus, I forgot how utterly annoying Alice is. Why can't we ever get a villain's story since in both Wonderland and its sire, OUaT, the villains are far more compelling than the morally superior heroines? The Red Queen lights up every scene she is in and quite frankly the Jabberwocky could be very interesting with her mind control powers. I'm not sure if I like the "Knave as a genie" bit, but it keeps the Red Queen squarely in the middle of things so kudos there. Speaking of, Will was just as most snarky fun as ever and I liked that Lizard returned. I hate that she's now dead. Basically, Wonderland would improve greatly if they ship Alice and Cyrus back to England and make it the Queen and Knave versus Jafar show.

Grade: C

Best Quote - Red Queen: "Ulgh, you two are even more insufferable together, do you know that?"

Best Character Interaction - Will and Lizard

Best Reason to Watch - Red Queen's redemption arc

Best Reason to Fast Forward - Cyrus and Alice's tortured dialogue or basically anything Alice

Best Character Return - Lizard

Most Obtuse - Will, who can't see how much Lizard likes him

The Fireworks Award - Lizard makes one heck of a transformation

The "Are You Kidding Me?" Award - They killed off one of the best characters in Lizard.

Most Intriguing - the Jabberwocky


TBBT - 7.17 - The Friendship Turbulence

I like how the show continues its tradition of pairing up unlikely characters. Giving Sheldon and Howard time to bond without it being solely bout insults was a good call. Raj asking Amy to be his wingman was less successful. I wish Amy was allowed to find other friends like the coffee shop girl. However the best part of the episode was Leonard buying Penny a car. It was sweet and the most heart this show has had since Howard sang his song to a quarantined Bernadette.

Grade: B

Best Scene - Sheldon and Howard bond over turbulence

Best Quote - Sheldon: "I have an eidetic memory. I don't know what his problem is."

Funniest Moment - Sheldon taps on Howard like he knocks on Penny's door

Longest Grudge - Sheldon is still holding Howard to blame for a prank he pulled a decade ago

Biggest Awww - Leonard buys Penny a car to go to auditions


Crazy Ones - 1.17 - Heavy Meddling

Another week were Zach is one of my favorite characters. Things are really turning around on The Crazy Ones. I really like his bromance with Andrew. As a plus, Owen turned out to be very likeable even if he's not going to beon teh show anymore.

Grade: B

Best Scene - Sydney and Owen trade their flaws / Zach fighting to keep Andrew as a partner

Best Quote - Zach: "Don't get on that plane…account." Andrew: "Why shouldn't I?" Zach: "Because I don't want to be with anyone else. When I first started, I asked Simon, 'Who's the best art guy? That's who I want to work with.' You make me better every day." Andrew: "Look, I…I've put a lot into this thing with George and it wouldn't be right to abandon him." Zach: "I understand. I just had to try."

Best Reason to Watch - Andrew and Zach switch partners

Funniest Scene - Andrew and Zach break up as partners

The "Sucks to have a New Roommate" Award - Sydney has to buy cigarettes to use a store bathroom since she doesn't want to go in front of her new boyfriend

Biggest Suck Up - George

Best Use of Music - I Don't Want to Wait by Paula Cole


Elementary - 2.17 - Ears to You

Lestrade has to go. He was entertaining at first but depressed, boozy Lestrade is a bore. The most interesting thing about this episode is the whole idea that people can grow new ears on other places on their body. That sounds so science fiction I found it hard to believe. Who even came up with the idea to try this and why? It's definitely the most bizarre twist I've ever heard in a police procedural. Bravo!

Grade: C+

Best Scene - Sherlock's crisis of conscience over searching for the dead guy's identity at an anonymous meeting

Best Quote - Sherlock: "Are you approaching anything resembling a point?"

Best Moment - Joan rescues the remote control from the rooster.

Best Reason to Watch - the ripped from the headlines plot where the accused is innocent

Best Reason to Fast Forward - Lestrade's boozy moping

Funniest - Lestrade's limerick about the mugger

Best Aww Moment - tie - Sherlock makes Lestrade believe his theory is right / Watson says she has faith in SHerlock

The "Say What?" Award - ears grown on human backs? That's a real thing? The writers assure me it is.

MVP - Watson

Most Interesting Filler - the history of Alphonse Bertillon, who invented the mug shot and anthropometrics which was the precursor of fingerprinting


Community - 5.08 - 
App Development and Condiments

After a rocky start, this is Community back to its self-aware, absurdist finest. Its dialogue skewers and its hyperbole crackles. Plus it finally shines a spotlight on Shirley. I love when Community takes a contemporary issue and blows it completely out of proportion to make its point. In this case it was the lengths people will go to in order to be popular online. In an age of Facebook friends and Twitter followers, sometimes the online world can be more brutal than real life, a new rat race of our own making. Only Community can find so much humor in our insecurities and self-imposed class structures.

Grade: B+

Best Scene - Jeff and Shirley are banished to the outlands together

Best Quote - Britta: "I'm a psych major. Words are my weapons." Guard: "I'm a security guard. Weapons are my weapons."

Best Interaction - Shirley and Jeff

Best Reason to Watch - the skewering of our apps loving culture and what people will do to get online popularity

Funniest - Jeff in tights and a halter top

Best Speech - Jeff's anti-app speech

Best Turnaround - Britta leads the revolution away from Shirley and Jeff

Best Outtake - the Koogler movie trailer


Grimm - 3.14 - Mommy Dearest

I really adore Wu and his snark, so I have been looking forward to this episode for a long time. Maybe I built it up too much in my mind, maybe it was the pacing, or the fact that Wu had zero snark tonight, but this episode fell a little flat. In part I blame the exposition. We normally have a big exposition dump in the middle of the episode, but there were at least 4 in this episode mostly repeating what we heard previously. That breaks up an episode's pace and makes it feel longer than it really is. I always have a huge problem with the ending. Wu's checks himself into a mental hospital and Nick and Hank still do not tell him the truth. What the heck! What exactly is the point of keeping it a secret now? He's already seen Wesen and he's clearly not coping well. How would telling him the truth make things worse? I have zero respect for this decision.

Grade: B-

Best Scene - Wu freaks out over the Aswang changing back to human form

Best Quote - Hank: "Do we have to start at the beginning?" Monroe: "Yeah, pick it up right before the 'and then I cut off his head' part."

Best Reason to Watch - Back story on Wu

Funniest Moment - Wu's first name is Drew

The "Are You Freaking Nuts?" Award - They leave Wu in a mental ward instead of telling him the truth about Wesen. What the heck, people! How is this helping?

Best Product Placement - CVS

Bingo Square Covered - dinner party complete with pictures and talk of something horrible

Most Creepy Award - Monroe doesn't find anything wrong with frying up some baby placenta and eating it

The Continuity Award - That's another parent wanting to cling to old traditions to the detriment of her son

Scene Stealer - the motel owner


The Musketeers - 1.06 - The Exiles

Is King Louis the most juvenile sovereign ever to grace TV? If not, I'm hard-pressed to figure out who is. It's hard not to root for Marie de Medici's plan, although she's no winner herself. The political intrigue of this episode, plus the idea that it might rear its head again in the future, made for a thrilling, fast-paced drama this week. Marie versus the Cardinal was riveting and I can't help thinking that if they ever did combine forces, they would tear each other apart. Now that would be fascinating if toxic. I also loved the interaction between Aramis and Agnes, even if she was a bit too naïve. The nugget of Aramis back story was nice too. Overall The Musketeers continues to be one of my favorite shows this year.

Grade: B+

Best Scene - Constance fights the lecher

Best Quote - Cardinal: "Decapitating one's mother is rarely popular with the people, sire. It always looks a touch ungrateful."

Best Reason to Fast Forward - the touching royal family reunion

Best Reason to Watch - political intrigue over the royal succession

Best Interaction - Marie de Medici and the Cardinal

Best Moment - Marie offers the Cardinal cake

The "Say What?" Award - How can the kidnapper not see D'Artagnan when he's following him through a wide open field?

The "I Fear for France" Award - The king runs off like a toddler when his mother returns and then throws a temper tantrum, yelling, "That's not fair."

Biggest Anachronism - D'Artagnan: "Don't you just love it when a plan comes together?"


Enlisted - 1.07 - Parade Duty

Enlisted works best when the laughs and heart come together. This episode did a much better job of that than the last one. I particularly liked Derrick recognizing that Pete does have some reason to brag. Not as much as he does of course, but still. I could have done without the constant poop jokes but Derrick the Dream Crusher flashbacks were outstanding. I particularly laughed at the Chubowski one. The marching montage made me laugh so hard I was almost out of breath. Enlisted remains tied with The Goldbergs as my favorite comedy this year.

Grade: B

Best Scene - The cleanup crew cadence complete with the soldier salute

MVP - Derrick

Funniest - Marching montage

Best Quote - Cody: "That state senator that was supposed to do it accidentally smoked crack and ended up playing the drums with the Chuck E. Cheese Band." Pete: "Wow." Cody: "Florida, what are you going to do?"

Biggest Aww Moment - Derrick calls Pete a hero

Smartest - Perez gets Shifflet's father to put them on float duty

Best Advice - Cody reminds Pete that the most important thing is his fellow soldiers


Helix - 1.10 - Fushigi

Helix is the most shocking episode this week because it did something I never expected. It gave us answers. Oh sure, not even close to all the answers. Not even enough to feel we've gotten some closure, but it's a great start. I'm still convinced these 500 immortals are aliens but at least we know what they are calling themselves. I only wish Alien Answer Dude had stuck around a little while longer to give us more scoop. On the medical side, we have an explanation for Julia's recovery and silver eyes. True, I didn't understand a word of it except "cures cancer." Overall though, this episode gave me a booster shot of hope that the answers are out there and unlike Chris Carter, the Helix team actually knows what they are. That's exactly what I needed at this juncture. Well that and more answers next week.

Grade: B+

Best Scene - Sarah and Hatake talk about science and whether the ends justify the means

Best Reason to Watch - Answers. Ilaria is controlled by 500 immortals.

Best Reason to Fast Forward - Alan and Julia's past chats / recapitations

Best Subplot - Daniel, Anana, and Sergio. Can these guys please become the main characters?

The "What the Heck?" Award - Why is Alan whisper speaking in the hallway and the lab?

Most in Need to Go - Alan and his overly righteous attitude about everything

The "Road to Hell" Award - Sara tells Hatake that the ends justify the means in the pursuit of science

Biggest Shock - they gave us answers / semi-immortal alien dude

Biggest Mistake - They keep killing off the best characters. First VetLady. Then Constance. Now Stooges Scientist and the only alien guy who was willing to give answers.

Worst Surprise - Sarah didn't actually die / Narvik is still around





Screencaps by Zap2It, Den of Geek, Lady Geek Girl, TV News Reviews, Monsters and Critics, Fanshare, and Wall Wide HD.

Sorry this is so late. In Grimm 3.14, Mommy Dearest, we finally get a Wu-centric episode. As a huge fan of the character, I have been waiting for this since season 1. Perhaps I went in with too high expectations or maybe it's how frustrated I was with the Grimm Gang at the end, but I didn't care for this one like I usually do. While there was plenty of good, the episode was slow and the ending so horrible it knocked the show down an entire letter grade by itself. Right now I am calling for a Wu redo.


1. The ending - I haven't been this frustrated with an episode since last year's Supernatural. I cannot believe that they did not tell Wu about Wesen when he brought up the Aswang. From that point on, everything in this episode went downhill rapidly. Then when he is actively freaking out about watching the Aswang change into his friend's mother-in-law, I wanted to go through the screen to Gibbs slap Nick. What the heck was he thinking? He had the answers and he let his friend believe he was going crazy! Argh! I don't think anything excuses the Grimm Gang in this one. They made a selfish choice and Wu is suffering unnecessarily because of it. The Powers That Be better fix it quickly or I'm going to be rooting for the Wesen villains to smack some sense into our "heroes" and soon. I also hope Wu punches both Nick and Hank when he does find out the truth.


2. Wu - Wu is one of my favorite characters because he always brings the snark. I expected this episode to be one of my favorites, but instead it was a big disappointment. Snark-less Wu breaks my heart. I do love the back story we got on him though. I never really thought of Wu as pining over a forbidden, unrequited love. I'm not sure why unless it was all those times he was trying to get Hank to be his wingman at a bar in season 1. Still this development fleshes out his character well and makes me wonder if we will see Dana anymore. I doubt it but she would make an interesting drop-in character like Bud does. (Whom I miss by the way.) Here's hoping that Wu is back soon and in his right mind, ready for more screen time than he currently has.


3. Wesen - Grimm does a phenomenal job of mixing up the Wesen of the week, and this one was particularly effective. From the first glance of the Aswang, it creeped me out far more that the scalpers before it. The way it moved, its physical features, and that hideously long tongue were enough to give me chills before I found out it wanted to slurp up an unborn baby. Yikes! That's one scary Wesen. It also surprised me because I didn't expect there to be a back story on this monster. The idea that sons gave their mothers their firstborn in order to prolong their mom's life is particularly horrifying. Add in the son questioning old traditions and it was a not only a nice touch of continuity, but it also made Sam far more sympathetic than I thought he would be. One of my favorite things about Grimm is it doesn't get bogged down into just one kind of monster, which keeps it interesting and allows it to pull from a wide variety of myths and legends. I've yet to grow tired of a particular Wesen and that is a hard thing to do for genre shows.


4. Exposition / Research - While I love the Wesen, I am getting tired of the research. Big thumbs up to Monroe and Hank in this episode for cutting the exposition off at the beginning to focus on the main points. I was more than ready to skip to the beheading part, mostly because unlike a typical episode, we got the exposition at least 4 times here. This broke up the pace and made me wonder why we were covering the same ground at slightly different angles throughout. Yes, the back story was interesting but did we really need the nightmares and the trailer and Wu recapping? I thought the son and mother scene did an adequate job at giving the details so the other scenes felt like filler. In fact the entire trailer scene would have been better if it would have just concentrated on the debate about whether to tell Wu or not. Make it a dinner party and add some disgusting photos for flow. My main issue though is why Juliette, who seems to be a lock as a future Google trainer since she apparently no longer has a vet business, doesn't start digitizing those books. A good catalog and indexing system would save a lot of time.


5. Hank - While this was definitely a Wu-centric episode, it is also the first time Hank has had meaty scenes in awhile. We normally get Hank in the exposition or the action, but in this episode we also got Hank's viewpoint. He is the only one who has been in Wu's shoes, and I wish they would have listened to him or at least considered what he was saying before shutting him down. We rarely hear how Hank feels in any situation so when he is the expert, it would be nice to give him time to expand on his thoughts.  In fact, it would be nice to get more Hank period.


Screencaps by Grimm Wikia, 3 if by Space, Manicomioseries, and Shallow Graves.

Welcome back to Last Week in TV. I hope you had a great TV experience. For me it was a mixed bag with multiple shows ruining great characters but others turning formerly annoying characters into people I can root for. This week the nominated show was the pilot of Believe. Also premiering this week was Resurrection, which has a child involved in something supernatural too. It was quite fascinating to watch these back-to-back because the approach and story structure were so different. If you would like to nominate a show for me to watch, please fill in the two-question form at the bottom. I have been having a lot of fun getting into new shows. Until next week, happy viewing!



Overall Awards:


Best Episode - Enlisted - 1.08 - Vets

I know you are probably tired of me saying it, but you really need to try Enlisted. Last week's episode, Vets, was the best it's ever been. Enlisted has a great way of not only combining heart with laughs, but also taking on heavy issues without making it feel like a PSA. In this episode the Hill brothers are assigned to show a trio of Korean War veterans around the base while the others are off celebrating Soldier Appreciation Day. At first perturbed by the unfairness, they soon see themselves in the veterans, which sparks a change in all of them. Through the classic funny hijinks and crashing a Marine bar to get back a dead soldier's coin for valor, the brothers bond with the veterans and learn more about themselves. Derrick learns to take a chance, culminating in him dating the bartender at the Claymore even though she has a son. For Pete it was about coming to terms with his PTSD. Other shows would make this subject laughable or worse, turn it into a preachy special, but Enlisted continues to walk that classy fine line. It treats the humor as silly, but the soldiers as important. They may make fun of the antics, but the heart is always there. It's a rare show that can do both so well. As an added bonus, the veteran soldiers are played by Dean Stockwell, Barry Bostwick, and Stacy Keach - but more on that later. If you haven't seen Enlisted yet, try out this episode and let me know what you think.



Best Character Interaction - Helix - 1.11 - Black Rain - Daniel and Hatake

While there are plenty of great character interactions, very few are as complicated as Daniel and Hatake's. Daniel starts as the ever dutiful adopted son of the shadiest person on the base, his father Hatake. He is the ultimate yes-man soldier searching for approval from his stern, emotionally distant father. And then the blows come one after another. First his father berates his every move, making their relationship feel more like Stockholm Syndrome or a cult following. It is actually painful to watch. Then he finds out that Hatake kidnapped him. Meeting his sister and twin brother turns his world upside down, especially since he can no longer trust the one person he’s spent his whole life trying to please. He’s a man caught between two identities, comfortable in neither.

This episode is the ultimate betrayal. Daniel finds out Hatake rigged things to be reunited with his daughter, Julia. The pain on Daniel's face when he realizes that he will never be #1 in his father's heart, no matter what he does, is heartbreaking. Usually shafted in screentime, this episode gave us multiple great scenes between father and son. Best of all, Hatake has been slowly growing as a character as well. In the wake of the Ilaria disaster, he now sees the strengths he formerly took for granted in his son. Now that his world is falling apart, he feels he can be more open to his son just as his son is closing off from him. He reaches out but it remains tobe seen whether it is too little, too late. The most poignant scene is when Hatake acknowledges Daniel's feelings but says the love he feels as a father will never change. Hatake: “Your feelings for me do nothing to diminish mine towards you.” Ugh! That one hits right in the heart. Later we also see Daniel's aptitude at "repurposing" materials, inspiring Hatake's verbal praise for his ingenuity. It's way overdue, but needed. I love how Helix is handling this father-son relationship, and it is the best thing about the show for me. Hatake doesn't deserve Daniel's love after all he put him through, but love isn't about deserving. This is the most complicated relationship on TV right now for me but one that I am very much rooting for.



Most Improved Character - The Goldbergs - Barry Goldberg

When The Goldbergs premiered, I had an immediate and thorough dislike of Barry. He was a whiny bully, who got on my last nerve. Considering the pilot didn't exactly portray anyone in the most positive light, it was hard to be the most annoying. By the third episode I officially pronounced Barry the most annoying teen on TV, a list that included such prodigies as OUaT's Henry and Revolution's season 1 Charlie. Surprisingly that tweet got picked up by series creator Adam Goldberg, who assured me he would pass the honor on to his brother. I wasn't sold on Barry until the middle of the season. Slowly he has creeped up on me until surprise of all surprises, he is my favorite of the Goldberg children. Oh he's still going to pick on Adam and conspire with Erica, and I love that. It's an older sibling's privilege. But he's developed the trademark Goldberg heart as well. By the time he gave the anti-mom smothering speech for the student council elections, I was solidly rooting for him. This however is the episode where he really shines. First off, they finally made him good at something, which should have happened much sooner. After all, Adam has his moviemaking and Erica her smarts and popularity. It's about time they leveled the playing field. Most importantly though, Barry was the voice of common sense here showing he is smarter than The Goldbergs like to portray him. I like this insightful Barry, the one clever enough to also have Adam thanking him for beating him up. Score one for the big brother!  Hey Adam Goldberg, if you are reading this, please pass this one on to your brother as well.



Best Action Scene - Agents of SHIELD - 1.15 - Yes Men - Plane fight

This award came down to 2 episodes - the Believe pilot with its loft/hospital action and SHIELD. In the end, SHIELD got it because more people were actively involved. In Believe, most of the characters felt like target practice rather than participants. On SHIELD, 2 epic battles occured simultaneously. The Asgardians of course had super strength and impressive sword fighting skills. It was interesting to see them manuever the tight space. I wouldn't mind seeing them fight in the open next time. I bet it would be dynamic. Plus Lady Sif should come back to do some training, maybe of Skye. However, it was the more personal fight between Ward, who was mind controlled, and May that really caught my interest and not just because their characters were not forced into the episode to sell a movie. Urgh! It wasn't even the tension between them amplified by Lorelei's insinuations. I love this scene because I always wanted to know who would win in an all-out fight between them. They are the two best trained fighters on the bus and to watch their skills against each other was on my wish list. I'm glad to see that they both gave as good as they got and it wasn't one-sided. Now if only we can get them fighting on the same side without any annoying love triangle nonsense to drag their awesome characters down.



TV Trend of the Week - Guest Star Nostalgia

I don't know about you but TV had me waltzing down memory lane all over the place this week. Many shows had a guest character I knew from some long-lost favorite show, most prematurely cancelled. All hail Sweeps Month! Over on Agents of SHIELD, Dylan Bruno from my beloved Number3 played Rooster, while the zany Megan Mullally (Will and Grace) is playing Kate's mom on Trophy Wife. John Rubenstein, one of Wolfram and Hart's finest on Angel, showed up as Kate's boss on Perception. Elementary had a 2-punch. Shiri Appleby, most known as Liz on Roswell, actually didn't annoy me with her acting so kudos there. (Gretchen Egolf also of Roswell appeared.) Even better was Ron Canada, who was on the tragically cancelled Jack & Bobby, one of the better new shows from the mid-2000's. His return reminded me to add Jack & Bobby to my Netflix queue even though it is sadly not available for streaming. Even Kareem Abdul-Jabbar showed up on The Crazy Ones. While not guest stars, the pilots added faces I haven't seen in awhile as well. Believe of course has Kyle MacLachlan of Twin Peaks fame, but it also has Delroy Lindo, whom I haven't seen since the short-lived Kidnapped. It was also nice to have The 70's Show's Red Forman back in Resurrection, although I remember him most from Dead Poet's Society. Also show hopping to Resurrection was MamaFox herself from Teen Wolf. For future reference, I hear my dear Campbell from Burn Notice is also joining the cast. Man, do I miss that show.  I can't even count how many actors showed up from Supernatural and The X-Files. All I can say is keep it coming.

However, by far the best guest star of the week was Beth Riesgraf. I can't begin to explain just how much I miss Parker from Leverage. In Perception she played Daisy, a love blind girlfried of a pathelogical liar. It was a completely different role for her, but they did give Leverage fans a great Easter egg in the dialogue. Daisy: "Cobra always said I was the only leverage anyone could ever use against him." Aww, that did my heart good. Now to get that Leverage TV movie made. Daisy was a Band-Aid, but I need my Parker, Eliot, and Hardison fix stat! Enlisted also hit the jackpot with a trio of veteran actors: Dean Stockwell from Quantum Leap, Barry Bostwick from Spin City, and Stacy Keach from Mike Hammer and 2/3 of TV movies made in the 80's. Quantum Leap is now on my Netflix as well.



Nominated/New Shows:

Believe - 1.01 - Pilot

Believe is about a special little girl who makes objects move with her mind and calls down birds to reign terror on an assassin. If she was a Stephen King protagonist, she'd be pretty cool. Sadly she's not. Instead she is helped by Tate, a death row inmate who is recruited on the night he is scheduled to be executed by a mystery man and his cohorts. They are on the run from a wealthy man's hit squad and most likely the police who want Tate. This show could go two ways. It can focus on Tate and Bo becoming father and daughter as they help the weekly person in peril find hope. As procedural as it sounds that could be a great show. It also can become the "special bratty child that everyone has to protect but secretly wants to throttle" show. This aspect piles on mythology and questions that never get answered because it gets cancelled prematurely. If they do not write Bo perfectly, Believe will get old quick and I'm already skeptical about her. Add in that my favorite pilot character, Dr. Adam, will no longer be in the same city so his chances of recurring are slim. I'm not sure I'm up for another precocious "Boy King" story right now. Unless this show gets rave word-of-mouth reviews, I'll hold it until the summer. The pacing did move well for a pilot, Tate is a multifaceted character already, and it had two great action sequences that showed promise. If you have room in your TV schedule, I would suggest trying it out. If Bo doesn’t become annoying, let me know and I might change my mind.

Grade: B
Ranking: 3

Best Scene / Best Action - fight scene in the loft

Best Quote - Tate: "Are you alright? You look a little pale."

The "Say What?" Award - Tate and Bo climb down from the roof of the hospital in full view of the bus and neither the bus driver nor the passengers call the police?

The "Oh Baby" Award - Dr. Adam Terry - His life sucks right now. A dying dad and dying hope. No wonder you want to quit.

The Lifetime Sentence Award - Tate. He is stuck with this kid for years? Not sure which of them I feel more sorry for.

Best Sonic Scream - Forget Black Canary. This kid's got a big pair of lungs.

Biggest Twist - Tate is Bo's father, but the real twist is we didn't have to wait until the season finale to find out. Yeah!



Resurrection - 1.01 - Pilot

In the battle of the midseason shows involving kids and supernatural phenomenon, Resurrection is better acted and a whole, whole lot slower. The kid, Jacob, is creepier too. He wakes up in a rice field in China, but no one knows where he came from and he's not talking. Enter Marty Bellamy, an ICE agent, who bonds with him and then takes him home only to discover that he died 32 years earlier. Trapped between belief and doubt, Jacob's family and former friends react in various ways but Jacob is only the beginning, as another family is reunited with a long lost relative as well. This pilot requires patience as it basically consists of everyone reacting to the return of Jacob. Nothing much happens plot wise, but the acting is phenomenal and the characters feel more fleshed out than most pilots. Still I have no idea where this pilot is going and that knocks it down a bit for me. Its premise is intriguing but if the next couple of episodes don't move faster, I will be out. So in the final count, Believe had a slightly better pilot, but I am more likely to tune into Resurrection for the plot. Plus it's on Sundays, which is currently a dead TV night for me.

Grade: B-
Ranking: 4

Best Scene - Lucille and Henry see Jacob for the first time

Best Quote - Marty: "Maybe you're missing the real question. Do you want to believe?"

MVP's - Francis Fisher and Kurtwood Smith. They did a phenomenal job of realistically portraying 2 people confronted with the same impossibility who react differently and yet realistically.

The "Say What?" Award - If Jacob has been dead for 32 years, how come he's better at games on the cell phone than I am?

The "Supernatural Geography" Award - These guys must consult the same atlas the writers of Supernatural use. Arcadia, MO is about 90 minutes away from me and it's hardly a border town. Unless you consider 2 hours inward, the border.

Most Supportive Wife - Janine Hale's speech about not needing to have all the answers

Recapitations - he wakes up in rice field twice



Weekly Shows:

Star-Crossed - 1.04 - And Left No Friendly Drop

I was frankly worried about this episode disappointing me after how stellar the last one was. I needn't have wasted my time. This episode picks right up with the sociopolitical issues of last week and raises them to new heights as Sofia joins the swim team. It's also the first time I have faith in the humans on this show. It wasn't just Gloria that found renewed hope in a locker room brawl. I love how even Eric joined in. Nothing like a long-standing rivalry to create new, likely temporary, allies. The best part of the episode were the scenes with Roman and Sofia. I adore his need to protect his little sister but I also like her newfound ability to stand up to him when she believes in what she's doing. It's a great, realistic look at a close family coping with tragedy together. I also thought the pairing of Roman, Julia, and Lukas was fantastic. I hope we get more scenes with them together. Add in the jaw dropper at the end, and I'm only sad that more people are not giving this show a chance. Emery remains the weakest link but it's found its legs so I'm in it until the end.

Grade: B+

Best Scene - Sofia stands up to Roman and says she's going to continue to swim

Best Quote - Teri, right before head butting the human who poisoned Sofia: "What you're saying makes me feel unwelcome and fills me with rage. There I used my words."

Best Reason to Watch - the family bond between Roman and Sofia

Biggest Shock - Gloria and Nox have a son

Best Information Dump - The biology teacher gives a run down on Atrian physiology, although it's strange that she doesn't have an Atrian share this info. They are the experts. Bet they ace this test.

Best Example of Negative Consequence for Bad Behavior - having to study flatworms

Character We Need to See More Of - Zoe, who's made me laugh both times she's been on

Best Alien-Human Interaction - Roman, Julia, and Lukas. More of these 3 working together please.

Best Plea - Sofia asks the Atrians to support her for her dad's memory

Most Naïve - Sofia really ought to learn not to gifts from the opposing team

Best Way to Make a Team - get them to fight their opponent together. Love how even Eric joins in and I love how Gloria PR spins it.

Best Diagnosis/Best Save - Emery knew that Sofia was having an allergic reaction, which quite frankly everyone else should have too - dummies

Best Aww Moment - Roman and Sofia talk on the roof and Roman apologizes for being too overprotective



Teen Wolf - 3.22 - De-Void

De-Void was stuffed with scenes and action this week. Maybe too stuffed, but it was great fun watching everyone embrace their inner psycho. Now let's save Lydia.

Grade: B

Best Interaction – DarkStiles and Sheriff
Best Quote - DarkStiles: "Really Melissa, I shed one tear. That's all it takes. Come on now, you can't crumble that easily."
Best Moment – Argent pulls a gun on DarkStiles and Sheriff pulls a gun on Argent
Biggest Shock – DarkStiles cuts open his stomach and flies pour out / DoucheDad sticks up for Sheriff
Best Reason to Fast Forward - all teen romance asides which ate up screen time and didn't add anything
MVP - Lydia
Best Action - Allison and Kira vs. the werewolves
Most in Need of a Home Security Overhaul – Argent’s apartment
The “Well Duh” Award – Lydia reminds Scott that he’s an alpha and tells him to act like one
Subplot Best to Skip – Melissa and DoucheDad’s dark secret
Most Intense – Derek vs. Argent
Best Acting – Stiles crying to DarkStiles sneering
The “You Tell Them” Award – Sheriff tells the review board to stick it because he has bigger problems
The “Say What?” Award – Lydia suggests they call Peter in to help. Really Lydia? When was the last time involving Peter actually worked for you.
The "Least Industrious Insect" Award - Scott's fly wasn't even trying to get through that mountain ash


SHIELD - 1.15 - Yes Men

For being 42 minutes of movie product placement, this was a decent episode. I thoroughly enjoyed Lady Sif and hope she comes back, if only to add another awesome fight scene. What I didn't like was any implication of a love triangle between May, Ward, and Skye. I will drop this show like toxic waste if it goes there. I have no intention of sacrificing the phenom that is May to bad writing and unimaginative storytelling. Her apparent spying on Coulson is intriguing though and I hope we get more info. Was she talking to Fury? What is he hiding and why?

Grade: B- (unless it leads to a love triangle and then it's an F)

Best Scene - Sif and May talk about Ward

Best Quote - Agent: "I never asked you. How was Tahiti?" Coulson: "It sucked."

Character I Most Want Back - Lady Sif

Biggest Disappointment - Skye is back

Funniest Moment - Lady Sif knows how to work the holodeck table that neither Coulson nor Ward could figure out

The 18:56 Award - That's how long it took Ward to be controlled be Lorelei. I guessed 15 minutes flat.

Best Character Growth - Simmons. I love how she confronts Coulson after he gives her no answers. It shows tremendous growth in her character since the pilot and I hope she continues to stand up for what she believes in no matter who gives her the order.

Best Move - Ward brings Lorelei on the plane

Best Twist (Kind Of) - May is spying on Coulson



Goldbergs - 1.17 - Lame Gretzky

This is another typical episode of The Goldbergs, which means it was one of the best shows of the week. Murray is my favorite character and I adored every scene he was in, especially how he listened to Barry and actually gave Adam's moviemaking a shot. He's one of the best TV dads on screen right now, even if he bumbles his way through it. Or maybe it's because he does bumble but you can see he cares every step of the way.

Grade: B+

Best Scene - Barry tells Murray to try Adam's hobbies instead of pushing him to play hockey

Best Quote - Murray: "Did you know that the Mario Brothers aren't even real? For three years I thought they were the boys who lived across the street."

The "Say What?" Award - Adam is in junior high and still doesn't know which goal is his team's, even after playing for years.

Best Continuity - Adam brings up The Goonies again

Best Sibling Bonding - Barry agrees to teach Adam how to fight dirty on the ice in hockey, which is really just an excuse to punch him

Most Brilliant - Erica took the time to write an essay complete with the made-up words Beverly gave her

Funniest Moment - Adam tries to be an enforcer but gets dragged into the net instead

Best Awww Moment - tie - Murray buys an extra large ketchup and pack of t-shirts so he can be part of Adam's movie / Beverly admits she was wrong and says she'll help Erica achieve her dreams

Best Reaction - Beverly hugs Erica to congratulate her on SAT score even though she feels like she's losing her

Best Music - In a Big Country



Trophy Wife - 1.16 - The Wedding (Part 1)

Trophy Wife is unfortunately getting less funny every episode in its relentless pursuit of the wacky. Too over-the-top just gets annoying. However this episode did provide a lot of heart and I am glad that Diane and Jackie don't feel they have to sneak around anymore. It should make for better storylines, provided the writers keep the characters grounded, not caricatures.

Grade: C+

Best Scene - Diane calls Kate for dating advice with Russ Bradley

Best Quote - Warren: "It says we're Flemish. Where in Scotland is Flem?" Hilary: "Belgium, Braveheart."

The "Say What?" Award - Pete's ex-wives help him clean out the garage. I thought one perk of being divorced is you don't have to share in the chores.

Most Bizarre Date - Diane and Russ talk on the phone while watching old British debate in their respective bedrooms, which happen to be remarkably the same except for the color pattern

Funniest - Pete sings Eternal Flame via bongos to Jackie at their wedding

Biggest Aww Moment - Pete proposes to Kate again

Best Plan - Both Diane and Jackie come clean about whom they are dating

Biggest Surprise - Kate's mom is nuts and needs them to post bail



Growing Up Fisher - 1.03 - The Date from Hell-Nado

I would like Growing Up Fisher a whole lot better if Joyce would not be so unrealistically ditzy and inappropriate. What adult in their right mind would ever find it appropriate to talk to middle schoolers about if it's okay to have first date sex? It's not funny at all and actually makes me uncomfortable as a former middle school teacher. That's the kind of thing you see on sexual abuse warning sign videos. It is time for a MAJOR overhaul of this character before she turns me completely off the show.

Grade: C (Knocked an entire letter grade for Joyce's inappropriate behavior)

Best Quote - Henry: "Oh no. Laundry Woman is Hallway Girl's mother." Mel: "Abort. Abort. Move dog, move."

MVP - Mel

Most Embarrassing - Henry runs into Jenny and drops his dirty underwear from the laundry on the floor

Most Innovative Way to Ask a Girl Out - turn it into the Cups song

Most in Need of a Boundaries Coach - Joyce. You don't talk about in you should have sex with your middle schooler and his best friend

Best Aww Moment - Mel tells Henry that they both got shot down for dates so that Henry feels better

Funniest Moment - Mel on the Hell-nado ride



Perception - 2.13 - Cobra

I am a huge fan of Beth Riesgraf, who played Parker on Leverage. Therefore I completely admit that my grade and overall feeling about this episode is colored by her appearance in it. I'm not sure it would have stuck out at all if another actresses had played the role. I really like the additional information on Kate and Donny as well. I don't think adultery is ever excusable but I was under the impression that Donnie had a long standing affair with Kate's best friend and possibly others. It made me uncomfortable to like him so much. Therefore I appreciate the retcon of a drunken one-night stand he bitterly regrets. The overall plot point that a pathological liar could fool the FBI, CIA, and a seasoned journalist was also a nice twist.

Grade: B

Best Scene - the wrap-up at the end

Best Quote - Daisy: "Cobra always said I was the only leverage anyone could ever use against him." I adore the Leverage reference.

Best Character Moment - Kate's boss is as anti-CIA as Daniel is

Best Reason to Watch - Beth Riesgraf

The "That was Some 'Just' Dinner" Award - Donnie and Kate seem to be getting along a whole lot better

Funniest Move - Kate gives the CIA a false name to track down

Best Twist - the pathological liar lied

Nicest Surprise - the back story on Kate and Donnie.



Wonderland - 1.10 - Dirty Little Secrets

I cannot believe they turned one of the best, kick butt characters in the show into someone who can be taken down so easily, especially after killing off the character with the most potential last week. I was only watching Wonderland for the Red Queen and Will's snark. Now it's all melodrama and the ever annoying Alice and Cyrus. I thought I was getting an epic battle of wills between the Jabberwocky and the Red Queen, but no. Instead she folds like a cheap suit and cries all over the place. Wonderland used to balance what I looked forward to (Will snark, Red Queen vs. Jafar, action) with what I wanted to fast forward (anytime Alice speaks and is not kicking butt, overall sappiness, speechifying) . So when I heard the main team was splitting up, I got very excited. One half I'd eye roll and the other half I'd cheer. Little did I know it would be a train wreck with both halves sucking equally. Now I'm stuck. There are, I believe, only 3 episodes left. My OCD is telling me to stick it out, while my work schedule and heart are telling me to pull the plug now. Perhaps I should stick to Wonderland's tired advice and follow my heart.

Grade: D-

Best Moment - Will balancing on Rabbit's little chair

Worst Part of the Episode - The Red Queen is so easily defeated

Best Quote - Jafar: "Anastasia and Will, reunited at last. Tell me is it everything you imagined." Queen: "You can dispense with the insufferable small talk Jafar or is that your idea of torture?"

Most Interesting Twist - Cyrus' mother was Jafar's sorceress lover

The "Did I Miss Something?" Award - Why are all the people in Lizard's town asleep? It's like a Sleeping Beauty episode.

Biggest Emotional Blackmailer - Cyrus, and frankly it made his back story more interesting

Best Sign Things are about to Go South - All the animals leave and there's no sound in the forest

Best Reaction - The Jabberwocky after the Queen stabs her

Most Eye-roll Worthy - Alice scolds the magical door keeper for not being polite and then tells Cyrus that yelling at him won't be helpful

The "Say What?" Award - Why is Cyrus hacking through the bushes when there is a clear path to the well when they open the door?



TBBT - 7.18 - The Mommy Observation

This best thing about this episode is Howard, and I can count on one hand how many times I've said that. Otherwise it was mostly not funny.

Grade: C-

Best Scene - Sheldon and Howard commiserate at the bar

Best Quote - Leonard: "You don't go into science for the money?" Bernadette: "Speak for yourself, last month my company both invented and cured restless eye syndrome. Ka-ching you blinky chumps."

Worst Game Ever - Chutes and Lawyers

MVP - Howard

Best Speech - Stuart on why Leonard and Penny work

The Nostalgia Award - My brother used to have the same Star Wars sheets that are on Sheldon's bed

Most Awkward - Sheldon tries to talk condoms with his mother



Crazy Ones - 1.18 - March Madness

This was my least favorite The Crazy Ones episode so far, mostly because Andrew's sister annoyed me just as much as they annoyed Simon. I found them too loud and obnoxious even for comedy caricatures. Basically it was just unfunny as was the Krispy Kremes campaign. I did like the heartwarming float decorating scene at the end but for the most part, this episode was a complete bust for me.

Grade: D

Best Scene - Everyone helps out to complete the float

Best Quote - Andrew: "Do not Willy Wonka me."

Best Moment - Zach and Andrew debate telling Sydney she's been replaced but she can hear every word

Best Reason to Fast Forward - the Keanelly sisters

The "Blink and You Missed It" Award - they actually use painted condoms for the pot of gold on the float

Best Awww Moment - Sydney and Lauren say they are jealous of each other



Elementary - 2.18 - The Hound of the Cancer Cells

This is one of those times when the side plot was more interesting to me than the main one. I wish they had spent more time on the teacher and the witness than going for the flashier but more stale spies, cancer research, whistleblowers, and messy divorce. While it had all the requisite twists, much of the episode felt been there-done that. The best part was Bell being fully reinstated.

Grade: C+

Best Scene - Bell and Sherlock talk outside the bar and decide to postpone the party for coffee

Best Quote - Sherlock: "Bullet riddled man? Is the décor in here not American enough for you? We could get some Rockwells, deep fat fryer."

The "Yeah I'm a Bad Person and Laughed" Award - The guy's dying helium-inspired Mickey Mouse voice had me chuckling

Biggest Surprise - Shiri Appleby's acting didn't make me cringe the entire time. She's grown as an actress.

Best Subplot - Bell gets fully reinstated

Best Guest Star - Ron Canada

Most Likely to Get Killed - Sherlock if he kept waking me up early in the morning like he does to Joan. Dead.

Biggest Double Standard - Sherlock goes off on a corporate exec for having no boundaries while picking out an outfit for Watson to wear while she wants to sleep



Community - 5.09 - VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing

For a comedy, Community often leaves me laugh-less. This was not a big laughs episode, but it did have a lot of heart and the textbooks as drugs was clever. I love that they aren't just skimming over Troy's absence like so many shows would do.

Grade: B-

Best Character Interaction - Annie and Abed

Best Reason to Watch - Shirley gets some good screen time for the 2nd episode in a row

Best Quote - Annie: "You can't just microwave a relationship like it's a bean burrito."

Best Reason to Fast Forward - Dean rapping as a Payday candy bar

Best Moment - Annie and Abed's awkward handshake in progress

Best Negotiator - Shirley

Best Manipulator - Jeff

Best Awww Scene - Abed opens up to Rachel, complete with a props crew



The Musketeers - 1.07 - A Rebellious Woman
The Musketeers continues to delight every episode, and this was no exception. I am a huge fan of snarky, powerful women and no one does that better than The Musketeers. In this episode, the Countess de Larroque is convicted of heresy and witchcraft for opening a school for women. She is a pure joy to have on screen snarking with everyone from the King to the Cardinal to Athos. A clever woman, she is passionate and brimming with confidence. Even a reversal of fortunes and a brush with death cannot keep her from her cause and she emerges shaken but still resolute, if a bit more world weary. Other delights in this episode were the Cardinal faced with his own mortality, Constance standing up for Fleur, and Athos being in the same room as Milady again. Even King Louis acted more adult and actually stepped up to his throne. The only thing I hated in this episode was Constance and D'Artagnan getting together. She's married for goodness sake. It makes me lose some respect for them both.

Grade: B (points off for adultery)

Best Scene - Countess and Athos meet

Best Quote - Countess: "She was sane as you or me. Well me anyway."

Boldest - de Larroque refuses to walk with King Louis

Most Snarky - Countess Ninon de Larroque

Most Charming - Aramis

The "Say What?" Award - anyone would consider the Cardinal for Pope

Worst Date - Athos takes the Countess to visit her friend's dead body

Best Moment - Athos begs for the Countess' life

Biggest Disappointment - Constance and D'Artagnan get together



Grimm - 3.15 - Once We were Gods

I am incredibly frustrated with Grimm in general, its writers specifically. I dislike when shows make me hate the lead characters and I am getting dangerously close right now in this decision to not tell Wu about Wesen. It's frustrating because it feels like they are deciding his fate without Wu getting a say in it. I'm not sure I will truly enjoy Grimm until this issue is resolved because right now I am rooting for the Wesen of the Week to give the entire Grimm Gang the smack down they deserve.

Grade: D

Best Scene - Juliette visits Wu at the mental hospital

Best Quote - Hank: "This is really kind of touching…except for the part where we helped them steal a 3,000 year old mummy and burn it."

Best Reason to Enter My TV Set - To smack Nick and Hank's heads together until they get some sense

Most Sympathetic - tie - Wu and Castle Spy, they've both been screwed over by colleagues

The "Most Passionate, Least Common Sense" Award - Dr. Vera Gates

"Most Likely to Head to Arrow" Award - Wesen with their superior upper arm strength scaling the building

Best Reason to Fast Forward - the dozen or so recapitations, including one of the conversation we just saw

Freakiest Moment - Meisner finds Adalind's baby in the woods only to find that it was really logs for the fire

Most in Need of a 21st Century Overhaul - Aunt Marie's trailer

Most Hypocritical - The Grimm Gang humans felt left out when Monroe and Rosalee whisper about the Beati Paoli

Best Villain Accessory - Prince Viktor's pipe

Smartest Plan - Alexander uses the arrest of the Wesen to steal the mummy



Enlisted - 1.08 - Vets

Grade: A

Best Quote - Derrick: "Alright you know what? I'm going to go over and talk to her but when I get back both of you better be dead from alcohol poisoning, okay?"

Funniest Scene - Sergeant Cody as therapist / Derrick pre-Marine punching bag

Best Guest Star Trio - Dean Stockwell from Quantum Leap, Barry Bostwick from Spin City and Supernatural, and Stacy Keach from Mike Hammer and 2/3 of TV movies made in the 80's.

Bad CGI Award - While the brothers are driving. It rivals the Ringer pilot boat scene.

Best Heist - the return of Sully's coin

Best Parallelism - the brothers change seats so they are with their older counterparts

Most Stylish - Randy with his new hat

Best Awww Moment - Derrick introduces himself to Sam

Best Message - Pete goes to a soldier PST meeting



Helix - 1.11 - Black Rain

The focus on Daniel and Hatake plus finding a cure made this the best Helix yet.  Things are really accelerating now.  I am not sure what Ilaria will bring, besides death, but I am anxious to see how they are going to resolve things.







Screencaps by Zap2It, TV Fantasy, Screencapped.net, TV.com, TV Equals, Comics Alliance, SciFi Empire, Hollywood Reporter, Oloload, Screenfad, PopSeries, MTV, Buddy TV, NBC, AssignmentX, SpoilerTV, Addicted to Series, Big Bang Theory Wikia, Trip Park, TV Fort, Elementary Stan, Dork Shelf, Digital Fix, Grimm Fansite, and Seriable.

There are more choices than usual because for once I had no idea what to cut. Still only one vote though. Good luck. This was an excellent episode of Teen Wolf.

Previously - Allison and Isaac were together, Meredith was weird even for Eichen House, Kira's mom back storied the nogitsune, Dark Stiles released flies to infect the werewolves, Allison and Kira fought werewolves, Stiles unwrapped himself from Mummy Mouth, and Dark Stiles took Lydia.

In the locker room, Deaton de-flies the werewolves by shoving his fist down their throats and yanking out the fly inside. It looks as painful as it sounds. Being a werewolf sucks sometimes. Allison: "Are they okay now?" Deaton: "I hope so. The part that's worrisome is that this was most likely just a distraction for what was happening to Stiles." Kira comments on double Stiles; I however am a great fan. The more Stiles the better. Aiden douche snarks about how they let DarkStiles kidnap Lydia , but for once Deaton has a point. Mummy Mouth ascending from the floor was quite the distraction. Kira asks the billion dollar question: "How are you so sure which Stiles is which?" Sorry Melissa, but your nursing skills won't cut it this time. She tests Stiles' pupil response, but is hesitant to take his arm for a pulse check. Stiles lifts his arm up for her and sad smiles as my heart breaks for the first time this episode. Only 52 more times to go. Melissa confirms that he is medically a real person but Stiles (read all of Beacon Hills) needs more assurance. Stiles: "Okay so I'm real but am I really me?" Enter Noshiko and her Oni. Smart plan but man will it suck if they are wrong. Scott and Melissa exchange silent doubts over Stiles' plan but Kira full out objects. Too late. The Oni arrive, grab Stiles, and mark him. Yippee! RealStiles is back. Sadly, the Oni can't pursue DarkStiles because dawn is breaking soon. (Or so the show says, since there's an awful lot of light coming through Scott's window.) Noshiko says he took Lydia for her banshee powers. Being a banshee sucks sometimes too. Lydia is in the underbelly of Eichen House, surrounded by screaming with DarkStiles mocking her. He is very effective at creepy. As Lydia frantically searches for a way out, he slowly pursues her, saying that Stiles is dying. Lydia questions why he kidnapped her and vows she won't tell him anything, but all the nogitsune needs is her scream. It's a very intense scene, riveting and packed with creepy chemistry between the characters, showcasing both Dylan and Holland's talents. I hope we get more scenes with them together because they are nailing it.

Elsewhere things are less intense as the pack basically waits until sunset to make their move. It's waiting game, no one is enjoying. Noshiko suggests Kira learn to play Go, since it's the nogitsune's game and may help them strategize. Kira: "This is life and death, mom. It isn't a game." Noshiko: "It is to him, and he's winning. You want to save your friends, you want them to survive, learn to play." Might as well since the alternative is worrying, which is exactly what Sheriff does. Parrish tells him to go home, but no dice since no one has called him to say Stiles is okay. Urgh! What use are your product placed phones if you aren't communicating crucial data? Sheriff questions why Parrish chose Beacon Hills, and quite frankly, it is either insane or suspicious. Parrish: "I don't really know. I guess I kind of felt drawn here." OK, suspicious it is. Drawn by the nemeton is never good. What creature exactly are you Parrish that makes an appalling police fatality rate of no concern to you? Parrish convinces Sheriff to go home but he can't find his keys. Enter Stiles, who reminds him that he often drops them in his coffee cup. What? Don't they get sticky that way? But it doesn't matter because we get an epic Stilinski hug as father and son are reunited. Awwww! Well after Scott gives the nod that it is indeed Stiles. Sheriff optimistically hopes this means it's all over, but no. There is time for reconciliation though, as Derek asks why Argent didn't kill him. Argent: "Because you're not my enemy anymore, Derek, and I'm not yours." Awww again. Eight minutes in and Teen Wolf already gets me right in the heart. Derek wants to track DarkStiles together but Argent says there's no need. The nogitsune is so powerful now, he'll pursue them. Back at the station, Sheriff puts an APB out on Lydia's car as they try to figure out what DarkStiles wants with her. Something Sheriff says reminds Stiles of Meredith and they find out she's in the closed unit for continuous screaming. Brunski, the douche orderly of Eichen House, jokes about drugging Meredith but tables turned, she escaped after drugging another orderly. Go Meredith!

For reasons that make no sense, the scene abruptly changes to the alpha twins sprinting in the forest. Cross country practice? Nope, soon it's wolfsbane-filled bullets flying and the twins go down. Thankfully Derek stops by to drag them to the coyote den. They ask who's shooting but Derek doesn't know. "I was a little busy. Who else have the 2 of you p** off?" Aidan: "We p** off everyone. It was only a matter of time before someone caught up to us." Ha! I have no idea what's going on here either. Who's shooting? Why? Does it even matter? Apparently not because it's Allison and Isaac's turn for the awkward post-sex, "were you really you if you were fly-infected" discussion while inspecting Lydia's now found product placed Toyota. Isaac smells Lydia's anger while Allison launches in. "Just out of curiosity, do you remember the other night?" Isaac: "You mean the night before last night?" Oh Isaac, master of the face palm statement. He should be a Winchester. The whole conversation is awkward and boils down to yes, Isaac remembers and yes, it was essentially him. It's all filler except they find a message Lydia wrote on the window, telling them not to find her. Yeah Lydia, not gonna happen. Meanwhile, Beacon Hills High keeps its trophy for worst security in America when Meredith interrupts Coach's teachable moment on health care corruption, brought on by his $10,000 bill for arrow removal. First off, I'm so glad you made it, Coach. Second, what kind of third-rate health insurance does Beacon Hills have? Teachers usually have great insurance. Time to transfer! But not until you question Meredith. Coach: "Sweetheart, you want to tell me which insane asylum you escaped from?" Danny: "Coach, insane asylum isn't the proper terminology anymore." Coach: "Okay sweetheart, what nut house did you escape from?" BWAAHHH! Meredith says she's from Eichen House as the students jump back. She says people are screaming because someone's about to die. Coach: "Are they screaming right now? How many of them?" Meredith: "All of them." Yep, time to transfer!

Back at Scott's, Stiles is mid-nightmare. Seriously, how much more can he take? He wakes in a panic, dizzy and unsure of how much time passed. Scott steadies him and asks if he's okay. He promised Sheriff he wouldn't leave Stiles alone. Awww! This bromance is the best part of Teen Wolf. Stiles: "I just sort of feel like we're waiting for a ransom call." Scott: "We'll find her." Scott recaps the search for Lydia to put Stiles at ease, but no dice, he's nervous…and freezing. When Stiles puts on his jacket, Scott touches his hand and black goo runs up his arm. Stiles is in pain. He admits to feeling a dull ache all over and his hands are icy. Scott kneels by him. "Tell me the truth. How much does it really hurt?" Shivering, Stiles just looks at him. Thud. There goes my heart again. They're rudely interrupted by Kira's call to say Meredith is at school. So is Brunski, so Kira pleads with Coach. "It's hard to explain, but if you let her go back then really, really bad things are going to happen to Lydia, to Scott, and Stiles, and maybe everyone, including you. So please, please don't let them take her." Coach: "Who are you?" Ha! I love Coach. Sadly he does know Brunski, who proves his douchiness by making fun of Coach's job. Um Brunski, you're an orderly. What the heck kind of bragging rights do you have in this game? Shut up! He demands to see Meredith, but she's escaped again…to the music room, where she plinks the sad piano of former teacher death. Brunski threatens to tase her but she needs a few more seconds to hear what the voices are saying. No dice. Brunski advances, only to be taken out by Coach. Woo hoo!!! Coach: "This school has a very strict no bullying policy." Bwah! You go Coach! He tells Scott, Stiles, and Kira to get Meredith out, while Brunski starts to curse. Zap! Coach tases him again. "We also frown on cursing." Bwaaahh! I adore you, Coach. Sadly Meredith doesn't know who Lydia is though, so it's back to square one.

Avoiding school shenanigans, Allison chooses a quieter way to pass time before battle. She cleans her weapons. Argent joins her, but her hands shake too badly to take the gun apart. He stops her and suggests a different plan. Presented with the family silver, he tells Allison she's ready for her last initiation rite into the family business, creating a silver bullet with their crest. They bond over Argent's last bullet and discuss the merits of lead over silver. The Winchesters never said it's inaccurate. Hmm. Argent heads out but Allison stops him, saying she'd rather make an arrow head. He smiles and kisses her forehead. Aww. But Allison's not done. Over Argent's protestations, she insists on speaking her mind in case one of them dies in the coming battle. Allison: "Well I didn't get to say anything to mom." Argent: "You didn't need to say anything and I'm going to be around a long time. I promise." Allison: "Well then take it as a reminder. Maybe you don't need to hear it, but I…I need to know that I said it. I love you. I'm proud of you. I'm proud of us." Oh baby, this is heartbreaking. Argent kisses her forehead once more and leaves as the anvil of foreboding drops smack on my head. This will hurt. I don't want either to die, but it's the best father-daughter scene in Teen Wolf history. Sadly, there's no rest for Lydia either, who freaks even more when she's trapped at the bottom of the same stairwell where Noshiko's friends were slaughtered in flashbacks. DarkStiles sits atop the stairs and muses about what the others are doing. Apparently he sent whomever shot at the alpha twins to keep them busy. DarkStiles: "Are they really spending every minute looking for you or are they waiting for nightfall? Focused on some hopeless gesture to pass the time." Can't pull a fast one over a nogitsune. Lydia asks what he wants and his simple answer is, "More." More pain, more chaos, more strife. That's what a nogitsune feeds off and Lydia feels it all. She's his conduit to everyone's pain. DarkStiles: "I eat what you feel and I'm insatiable." He presses up against Lydia, reveling in her terror. It's petrifying.

Time for a humor break. Scott and Stiles race Meredith to Scott's house only to find Isaac and DoucheDad already there. Reaffirming that ClassicStiles is indeed back, he tries to explain only to make things even more suspicious. Stiles: "Free period. We're doing group study." DD: "Who's she?" Stiles: "She's my girlfriend." Meredith: "Oh, you're not my type." Stiles: "Well obviously we have a lot to talk about. We should maybe take this upstairs." Meredith: "He's my type." Stiles: "Okay, Isaac can come too." Ha! I needed that laugh. Scott tries to head up with them but DoucheDad insists on talking. He shows Scott a dent in the floor at the bottom of the steps. He moved out because while Melissa and he were fighting, Scott came out and when Douche Dad tried to grab his wrist, Scott fell down the steps and knocked himself out for 20 seconds. Melissa told him to get out and he sobered up from that night on. It's a great scene marred by the fact that it's the penultimate episode and just like Scott, we don't have time for this. Take your apologies and wait until season 4. Plus, what in this story is supposed to make Scott hate Melissa like DarkStiles suggested? Is there more to this story? Oh who cares. Scott gives DoucheDad the grand tour of all the places he's hurt himself in that house and then lowers the boom. Scott: "This house is full of accidents. The stairs, maybe it was an accident, maybe it was worse, but I healed and I don't need your apology. So see you at graduation or whenever you decide to show up again." Ouch! But he deserved it.

Meanwhile things upstairs aren't going well either. Meredith finally remembers Lydia and agrees to help but only if Lydia tells her where she is. Isaac: "If she tells you. Can you ask her?" Meredith: "I already did." Stiles: "Perfect, perfect. What did she say?" Meredith: "She said she doesn't want to be found." Stiles: "That's good too." Isaac: "Okay." Oh guys, your facial expressions are cracking me up. Talking to the crazy isn't always easy so they fight over how to approach her next. Isaac wants to try intimidation but Stiles nixes that idea. Stiles: "We're not going to torture her." Isaac: "I mean scare her." Stiles: "We're not going to psychologically torture her either." Sorry Isaac, but I'm on Stiles side here. Meredith has been through enough. Isaac suggests Meredith is a banshee because his job is to state the obvious and catch up the slower members of the pack. They tell Meredith to "focus on the silence," which is pretty hard since neither of the two will stop yapping. Stiles: "Okay, will you just let me handle this Isaac. Please. I just I have more experience with banshees." Isaac: "Yeah and mental patients." Ha! Isaac's on fire tonight! Meredith breaks up the spat by asking if they are going to answer Stiles' phone, which is not ringing. Playing along, Stiles hands the phone to Meredith. The voices say coup de foudre, French for a flash of lightning or love at first sight according to Noshiko in the flashbacks. While Stiles and Isaac are lost, Scott enters and recognizes it,. He knows Lydia is at the old Oak Creek Internment site, aka Eichen House. At the same time, Kira gets clued in when her dad talks Go some more, only to realize that Kira wasn't playing the nogitsune but her own mother. It's all very dramatic and makes no sense. Is Noshiko another nogitsune? No idea because we switch to Allison holding up her newly minted arrow head to compare it to her father's silver bullet. Allison: "What am I missing?" No clue honey but when you figure it out, please share. We're confused too.

Sadly, there's no time for answers as they all descend on Eichen House. Well all except Derek and Argent who carry the twins to Derek's loft. Apparently Mama Fratelli didn't shoot them. Go figure. Instead the clue lies in the bullet, which Argent recognizes. Argent: "That's not possible." In true Teen Wolf fashion, he doesn't share his knowledge with us. Instead he warns Allison not to go to Eichen House without him, but she says it's urgent and another anvil of doom splats on my head. Noshiko arrives with her 5 Oni army as Stiles drives Scott and Isaac. The silence is unnerving and Stiles breaks it to ask if Scott's okay. Scott: "Yeah, yeah, you don't have to worry about me." Just as the elephant in the Jeep gets too big to ignore, Isaac addresses the real problem. "Alright I'm going to say it. You look like you're dying. You're pale and you're thin and you look like you're getting worse. We're all sitting here thinking it. When we find the other you is he going to look like he's getting better?" Scott: "What happens if he gets hurt?" Stiles: "What, do you mean like if he dies, then do I die? I don't care. So long as no one else dies because of me. I remember everything I did, Scott. I remember pushing that sword into you. I remember twisting it." Oh poor baby. This episode hurts my heart. Scott: "It wasn't you." Stiles: "Yeah, but I remember it. You guys got to promise me, you can't let anyone else get hurt because of me." Isaac and Scott exchange glances as Scott gives a quick, sharp nod, but swallows hard. No way he keeps that promise. They are heading right into DarkStiles' plan. Lydia notices how nervous DarkStiles is and gloats: "You know they're coming. You know they're going to kill you." DarkStiles: "That's exactly why I'm keeping you so close." Egads, he makes ME nervous. Creepiest villain in Teen Wolf history - Crazy Ghost Kate and him. I swear every time he leans into Lydia I think he's either going to kiss her or smack her. It's unsettling.

The Jeep Crew arrive just as Kira and Allison do. Did they carpool too? Everyone deep breathes as Scott launches into the halftime pep talk. They saved Malia together. Now it's Lydia and they will save her too. Leader Scott is on a roll. Allison: "I'm here to save my best friend." Scott: "I came to save mine." Aww. Isaac: "I just didn't feel like doing any homework." BWAAAHHH!!!! This is the most fun I've had with Isaac in a long time. He leads the way in but Noshiko tries to stop them. Not happening. Kira accuses her mom of not seeing another way because it would mean she could have saved Rhys instead of killing him. It's a tough night of harsh reality for Teen Wolf parents. At the same time, Scott and Stiles run the corridors to find Lydia using Scott's now working werewolf senses. DarkStiles herds her into a small room as the Oni descend. Lydia: "They're here and I don't have to scream to know they're going to kill you." DarkStiles: "Good. That's exactly why I brought you. I needed to know when they'd be close enough, when my own death was closing in." Just when it looks like he's going to die at Oni hands, he breaks Noshiko's last tail and suddenly commands the Oni. Smart play. A firefly dies in Noshiko's hand and the battle begins. Isaac: "How do we stop them?" Noshiko: "You can't." Swords clash, Kira's eyes turn orange, and DarkStiles sits back with some popcorn to watch the show. Or smirks, whichever. Of the 3 fighting, Isaac gets the worst of it while Noshiko watches from a corner in horror. I guess that's the end of her ninja skills. As the fight crescendos, Scott and Stiles find Lydia. Success! Or not. She really did NOT want to be found. Lydia: "No, no, no, no, no, no. Why are you here?" Stiles: "Lydia, we're here for you." Lydia: "You weren't supposed to be here. You didn't get my message." Scott asks what's going on for us and Lydia freaks over who came with them. She knows who's going to die. They race off to join the fight.

Outside Isaac is sliced up so Allison comes to his rescue. She slams an Oni with her bow while Kira kicks another out of the way. Still the fight is one-sided and the Oni are winning. Not just upstairs. In the hall, Stiles' strength fades fast as DarkStiles gets stronger. He can no longer run, calling out to Lydia for help. Scott races ahead but it's too late. Isaac takes a sword in the gut by 2 Oni to DarkStiles' delight. Attempting to save him again, Allison knocks her arrow and shoots one. To everyone's surprise, even DarkStiles, it penetrates his heart and yellow light explodes outward, causing the ground to shake and the Oni to vanish, but only for a second. One emerges by Allison and stabs her. As she falls, DarkStiles smiles and takes the Oni away with him. Scott appears just in time to catch her and she lies dying in his arms. She asks about Lydia and Scott assures her that Lydia's fine. He tries to take away her pain, but it doesn't work. Scott: "I…I can't. I can't take your pain." Allison: "That's because it doesn't hurt." Allison assures him that it's fine, but no one else agrees. Allison: "It's okay. It's perfect. I'm in the arms of my first love, the first person I've ever loved, the person I'll always love. I love…I love you, Scott, Scott McCall." Scott: "Allison, please don't. Allison, don't please." Allison: "You have to tell my dad. You have to tell my dad. Tell him…" She exhales her last breath as the fandom bursts into tears. Scott: "No!" It's sappy and tragic, but Allison deserves to go out however she wants. As Scott cries over the body of his lost love, Lydia cries over an unconscious Stiles, fully aware her best friend has died. Too make everything more tragic, Argent arrives on the scene as well. His face crumbles and his gun drops as the camera slowly pans out from Allison cradled in Scott's arms. Ouch doesn't even begin to describe it. This one aches.

And thus goes Allison, the main heroine of the series. A kick butt warrior who fought for her friends and sometimes her enemies gallantly. A best friend who saw Lydia through all the crazy and remained by her side, supporting and encouraging her. A first love whose memory won’t be easily forgotten, especially since Scott firmly believed that someday they would be back together, happy and more in love than ever. A daughter who was just now learning to understand a complicated father, who loved her more than life. A leader who never got to reach her full potential as matriarch of a powerful family. A guardian who kept Beacon Hills safe even if they never knew it. Allison - hero, role model, friend. May you rest in peace. May others live up to your legacy. May you never be forgotten.


Grade: B+

Best Scene - Argent invites Allison to make her graduation silver bullet, and Allison tells her dad how much she loves him

Best Quote - Coach: "This school has a very strict no bullying policy."

Saddest Scene - Allison dies in Scott's arms

Best Action - The pack fights DarkStiles' Oni

Most Important Player - Allison

Best Acting - Dylan O'Brien…again. This really is his season.

Least Surprising - Meredith ends up being important

The Yippee Award - Coach didn't die, and he's still snarky, and he's the hero.

Best Character Interactions - tie - the parents and their teens / DarkStiles and Lydia

Best Reason to Watch - there are a lot this episode so I chose something I haven't awarded yet, the Scott and Stiles brother bond. When Scott realizes that Stiles is hurting and starts worrying about him, I physically ache inside. May nothing ever come between this bromance. Nothing and no one.

Character That Actually Needed to Die - Brunski aka DoucheOrderly

The "What the Heck?" Award - someone just starts shooting at the Alpha Twins, no setup, no real transition, just boom. What kind of weird editing is that?

Biggest Awww Scene / Best Hug in the History of Teen Wolf Hugs - Sheriff hugs Stiles so tight when Scott confirms that is indeed Stiles. Awww.

Most Cringe Worthy - Deaton shoves his fist down the werewolves' throats to de-fly them

The "Just Hit Me in the Gut, Part 1" Award - Melissa hesitates to touch Stiles since she doesn't know if it is DarkStiles tricking her again.

Most Headache Inducing - All the screaming at Eichen House. If that's Lydia's world, I'd be ice picking my own forehead to get it to stop.

Best Possible Future Continuity - Season 3 started with Scott getting a tattoo. Perhaps season 4 can start with them all getting the backwards 5's removed from behind their ears, since Stiles now sports one too.

The "You Know It's Time to Transfer When…" Award - …when the school you teach at has a higher murder rate than Detroit AND you don't even have good health insurance. Teachers usually have the best insurance.

Best Reason to Fast Forward - Awkward teen relationship moments

Best Call Back to a Previous Season - Allison finds Lydia's note by blowing on the car window

Worst Timing - tie - Kira's text interrupted my great Scott and Stiles moment / Douche Dad wants to talk about the past during a current emergency

Funniest Duo - Stiles and Isaac

The "Say What?" Award - Why in the world would Scott hate Melissa for this secret? Was DarkStiles being judgmental or is there more to this secret?

Biggest "Ouch" - Scott says accidents happen but he condemns DoucheDad for not being there

Creepiest Moment - DarkStiles smirks as the Oni start to kill Isaac

The "Just Hit Me in the Gut, Part 22" Award - Argent runs up just in time to see his daughter die


Screencaps by Screencapped.net and MoviePilot.

TV was painful this week.  Just painful.  Feel free to commisserate in the comments.  We all might need to talk it out.


Overall Awards:



Best Show You're Not Watching - Star-Crossed

Yes, it is on the CW. Yes, it has a terrible name. Yes, the promotion stressed yet another lame Romeo and Juliet teen romance. Yes, the first 2 episodes sucked out loud. Yes, the main female character can be annoying in her naiveté and earnestness. I admit all of this, and it is still the best TV show you're not watching. For the last three episodes it has gotten away from the irksome love triangle and has delved into the consequences of aliens crash landing in America from a sociocultural level. It reminds me a lot more of Alien Nation than any "star-crossed lovers" young adult romance drivel. Everyone has an agenda and not everyone is what they seem, which makes it more of a serial sci fi mystery than anything else. But the heart of the story is when do you trust, when do you forgive, what's worth fighting for, and how far are you willing to go. Alliances shift as both humans and Atrians try to integrate after a decade of mistrust and abuse. It's a fascinating look into who we are as human beings.

Now normally I am a huge fan of starting a show from the beginning. I don't like to jump in partway through and muddle around until I figure things out. In this case, definitely start watching at episode 3 or you might not make it that far. Here's some handy cheat notes to catch you up. In 2014, a group of Atrians crash landed on earth in Louisiana. The military thought it was attack and fired. The Atrians fought back but were mostly annihilated. A kid named Roman ran and hid in a barn where a sick girl, Emery, found him and brought him food until he was recaptured. The Atrians who lived were rounded up in a prison camp called the Sector. Skip forward 10 years and Emery is healed and going to high school for the first time. Seven of the Atrians are making their school debut as well. Things don't go well. Think the integration of Central High in the 60's bad. Fights break out. People are cruel. Teens blah, blah, blah. Emery's best friend Julia is dying of cancer so they sneak off to the Sector to find a miracle cure but no such luck. When things get really bad, Roman sneaks into her hospital room and cures her with his blood and a plant called Cyper. While this is happening, Emery's dad shoots and kills Roman's father in the Sector. Things get worse between humans and Atrians. A group of aliens called the Trags want revolution. Roman's father wanted integration instead. Roman just wants Julia not to share his blood cure-all secret so all Atrians don't end up lab rats. There you go. You're all caught up on the important stuff. Now go watch episodes 3-5 with an open mind. You might be as surprised as I am about how fascinating this little show can be.


Best Episode - Crisis - 1.01 - Pilot

Crisis is the best pilot of the month for me and the best episode this week. It's not just because The X-Files was my first TV obsession and it's good to have some remnant of Dana Scully on a show I actually want to watch. In fact, while I liked Meg, she wasn't the biggest draw to be honest. Crisis revolves around the kidnapping of students from a prestigious school on their way to a field trip. The students' parents include some of the most powerful people in the world, including the President of the United States, genuine royalty, and heads of multibillion dollar companies. While there are several main characters, this story belongs to Secret Service agent Marcus Finley, who commands attention whenever he is on screen. Shot by his own boss, he escapes with one of the students, a genius named Anton. Part of his appeal is how he tempered Anton, who could have gotten old quickly. I'm a sucker for a TV character who can talk to kids. Part of it is his fierce determination to get these kids home. He's made to play the hero and he does it well.

Still the most intriguing character for me is Hurst, the man who shot Finley. At first portrayed as your typical bad guy in charge, it turns out that he was an unwilling participant. Does Gibson, the head kidnapper, have his family captive too? Why would a man who has served in the Secret Service for so long agree to be a madman's pawn, the face of treason? More importantly, did he hand pick Finley and shoot him in a place where he can still function as a way to insure the kids' safety? I confess that this is the best mystery to me and I look forward to learning what the stakes are for him. In a series that is obviously questioning, "How far would you go to save your child?" I hope his motive is as powerful as Gibson's, the mastermind whose own daughter was threatened a year earlier. It's a story of genuine twists and great acting so I can't wait to see how the rest of the story unfurls.


TV Trend of the Week - Character Death

TV went all slaughter happy this week, and like usual, it was never the character I wanted to die. While I orginally intended to write a tribute for each of the fallen this week, I've run out of time so I'm giving them their own awards instead. Suffice to say that Allison, Daniel, the Red Queen, and Will's snark will be most missed in my TV future.

Saddest Death - Teen Wolf - Allison Argent - Teen Wolf knows how to crack your heart open and then stomp on it as you're bleeding out. While Alliosn might not have been in pain, the fandom sure was. It was touching that her last act on earth was to save Isaac and her last words reaffirmed Scott. I hate when kick butt females die. They leave a void in their shows which is hard to fill. Here's to you, Allison Argent. You will be missed.


The "Screw You, Writers" Award - OUaT Wonderland - Ana and Will's Snark - By killing off both the Red Queen and Will's snark, I effectively have zero reason to watch Wonderland any more. This after killing Lizard the week before. I jsut don't understand writers these days. Why kill off all the fun and drown us in sticky sweet melodrama? Urgh!


Most Shocking - Blacklist - Jolene and the Cowboy - While all the other deaths were more transformative, they were also not unexpected. Jolene AND Cowboy really surprised me. I didn't expect the reversal on Tom to be quite so 180 so quickly. Not that I'm complaining though because finally Tom is interesting.


The Most Put Upon - Grimm - Castle Spy - Poor Sebastien. He never got a break. First Renard was bossing him around with absolutely zero regard for his safety. Renard didn't even seem grieved that something might have happened to him, only worried about what that would do to the Resistance. Then he gets tortured by a sadistic, cigar-twirling Prince Viktor. Finally when rescue is in sight, he willingly gives up his life to rescue Adalind's baby. Let's hope the afterlife treats him like the hero he is.


Biggest Mistake / Most Dramatic - Helix - Daniel Aerov - There are plenty of people you can kill in a high risk quarantine scenario. Helix just keeps killing off the good ones. First it was Vet Lady and then Constance the Psycho. Now they kill off Daniel. If you read last week's column, you know how awesome the Hatake-Daniel relaitonship was. Their father-son issues were the most heartfelt and engrossing storyline of them all. Now we're stuck with more of the Alan/Peter/Sarah show. Kill them off. Spare the people we actually care about. However, I do give Helix bonus points for the most noble death. When Hatake is forced to choose which child to save, Daniel again spares hiw father by making the choice for him. His simple goodbye made the moment even more heartfelt. To die for another is heroic. To forgive the one who hurt you the most before doing so is divine.


The "There Goes the World" Award - The 100 - Jasper - To be honest, I've only gotten attached to Clarke, Wells, and Finn in the pilot but Jasper's death was something the rest of them were not...crucial to the overall story. I liked Jasper; he brought the fun. Still his death revealed the presence of hominoid creatures that don't take kindly to strangers dropping in. It upped the ante right away and I am very good with that.



Nominated/New Shows:

Nominated Show:

Bitten - 1.11 - Settling

Bitten comes on after Helix on Fridays so I've seen bits of several episodes and even a full episode or 3. Just none that shed light on the mythology. Let's just say I'm confused but maybe not interested enough to go back and watch the beginning. From what I've gathered, there is a royal pack in a fight against a mutt pack. The show wants me to root for the royals, but I haven't discovered why. Their laws are archaic and they come off as douchey. A werewolf apparently showed up at their place unannounced and they killed him for it. The family business seems to be kidnapping their sons from their mothers and never letting them see each other. Half their grand speeches boil down to "we are better than mutts so we should have all the power and say so and dictate their lives," which never flies well. Rooting for these guys feels an awful lot like rooting for Marie Antoinette. I may not like how she ended but I understand why the peasants revolted. Not to say that I am rooting for the mutts either. Besides killing off the royals, they don't seem to have an endgame. Plus the whiner they think is in charge bit all the psychos and crazy drips off each one of them. The only one I am truly hoping to make it out of this battle is Marsten and that's just because he has the best snark. Other than that, I'm not attached to anyone.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I originally planned to review last week's episode, but it was pure filler and slow. I knew this show was better than that so I waited until this episode aired to review it. Overall, I could see this being right in a sci fi/fantasy lover's wheelhouse. For me, it is too emoangsty and soapish. Elena is always torn between honoring her family and pursuing her own dreams. Clay revolves between caveman tendencies of protection and brooding man child, lost in his fixation with Elena. Jeremy can't decide whether he's Dumbledore or Malfoy and Philip's plain boring. This episode is a mishmash of emotional overload in which I have no stakes. My guess is that people who have seen season 1 from the beginning enjoyed the episode more than I did. In the end, I already have a werewolf show and its pacing fits my viewing style better. Big thumbs up for the 2 fight scenes though. They were awesome!


Grade: C+
Ranking: 2 (I'll watch when it comes on after my show, but I'll forget about it if it doesn't.)

Best Scene - Apartment fight

Best Quote - Marsten: "Do be careful, Daniel. Tyranny can be infectious."

MVP / Best Reason to Watch - fight scenes

Biggest Shock / The "Say What?" Award - Elena de-wolfs in front of Philip. Why? Can she only be in wolf form for so long? Does she have no control over it? Perhaps Jeremy should worry about that instead.

Smartest Plan - Logan douses the place in perfume to keep the mutts from tracking his scent

The "Noisiest Hide-and-Go-Seek Player Ever" Award - Rachel. A deaf man could hear her stomping her feet in the shower.

The "Oh No" Award - The second snarkiest was kidnapped. Better save Clay. Then check on Philip's sanity.


New Shows:

Crisis - 1.01 - Pilot

Grade: B+
Ranking: 4

Best Scene - Finley reassures Anton (both times)

Best Quote - Nash: "Let's just try to stay calm." Luke: "Stay calm. Dude, are you at all aware what's going on? The guy who's supposed to protect Kyle shot the other guy who's supposed to protect Kyle."

Character with the Most Promise - Amber

Best Reason to Watch - the twisty, fast moving plot

Best Twist - Beth Ann's dad is running the whole thing and Hurst is chained up

Worst Twist - they are hinting that Nash and Amber have a relationship. It better not be true.

Best Character Interaction - Finley and Anton

Best Moment - Meg raises her hand to get the parents to stop and listen

The "That's My Kind of Kid" Award - They are in a crisis and Anton stops to grammar check. Ha!

The "Maury Povitch" Award - Meg's daughter is actually her sister's birth daughter

Best Music - And Nothing Else Matters by Scala & Kolacny Brothers (originally by Metallica)


The 100 - 1.01 - Pilot

To be honest, The 100 was better in the rewatch than in the initial viewing. I find Clarke to be a spunky, no nonsense, smart, but not preachy teen. She may be the best teen on TV if one can judge by pilot alone. I like how her father seems to have prepared her for earth even if it wasn't supposed to be within her lifetime. On a similar note, I find Bellamy fascinating even if I want to smack him through my screen. He has the power to be one great villain, but they have to flesh him out even more. If he is psycho for the sake of power, he'll soon devolve into the typical cardstock villain. I like how they have given him ample ammunition for his anger. His sister and his Goon Squad are another story. They are the weakest links and could potentially be the reason I drop the show. Idiots do nothing for me, except raise my ire. The situation on the Ark is even more intriguing. While it is easy to side with Abby in the moral right, the circumstances make even Kane's reasoning plausible. What do you do when there are too many people for the resources available and you can't get more? If they pursue this timely question and give everyone's side a chance, if they explore the ample gray area, it could be fascinating to watch. All in all, The 100 has lots of potential, if they balance the annoying characters or straight up kill them off. But still, for me, Star-Crossed is the best show on the CW right now.

Grade: B-
Ranking: 5 (because I'm doing the Best Scene Poll for it)

Best Scene - Wells vs. Bellamy for the hearts of the 100

Best Quote - Clarke: "The ground, that's the dream. This is reality. Reality sucks."

MVP - Clarke, there's no competition.

Biggest Surprise - There's a bipedal creature/human running around, who killed Jasper

Best Reason to Watch - Bellamy has the makings of a world-class psychopath in a classic Lord of the Flies way. Things are going to get bad quickly with him in charge.

Best Moment - Abby breaks down over the picture Clarke drew in her cell.

Biggest Buzz Kill - Clarke, and I'm good with that. Someone needs to be the voice of common sense.

Best Music - Radioactive by Imagine Dragons. Of all the shows that have used this soundtrack, Defiance and The 100 have the best reason to actually play it.

Biggest Whoopsie - Clarke accidentally gives Bellamy the idea to take off the wristbands so the people of the Ark won't come down to earth and tell everyone he's a would be murderer

Most Brain Dead - Octavia, who doesn't have the brains God gave a fruit fly, but does have the compassion of a serial killer

The "Say What?" Award - If Octavia jumped like that into shallow water, she should have at least injured her ankle if not broken it.

Best T-Shirt Ever - Jasper's tee says Earth Day 2052

The "Are These People 6?" Award - Even my elementary students know that a world with no rules is chaos.



Weekly Shows:

Resurrection - 1.02 - Unearth

Resurrection is 42 minutes that seem like 60. It's drawn out and meandering, taking its own sweet time at everything. Usually that annoys me to no end, but for some reason I am so intrigued about the plot that I can forgive the snail slow pace. The great acting helps as well. Although I can't see myself enjoying the lack of action and long dramatic pauses for the rest of the season, I am still willing to give this show some leeway if only to satisfy my curiosity.

Grade: B

Best Moment - Henry watches Marty open his son's grave but then sadly turns around, unable to bear it

Best Quote - Maggie: "Well what if there's nothing inside?" Marty: "That'll tell me something." Maggie: "What?" Marty: "That I need to get the hell out of town before they all start rising."

Best Reason to Watch - the acting again

Creepiest Moment - Jacob dreams that he and Caleb Richards crumble to dust

Saddest Moment - Lucille goes through a box of Jacob's things she packed away

Least Surprising - the other parents won't let their kids play with Jacob / they didn't show us what if anything was in the coffin

The "Even I Wouldn't Go That Far" Award - I am one to err on the side of caution every time, but even I wouldn't have Jacob lie about who he is. This is a small town. The gossip mill has already carried the story. Sorry Marty, but that ship sailed 15 minutes after you brought Jacob back.

Worst Product Placement - Whatever phone Maggie zoomed in with. Great shot of the phone. I have no idea what the brand is.

The "Say What?" Award - The body Caleb Richards buried years ago hasn't started decaying yet? In a series of odd, this is the strangest yet.

Most relatable - Henry can't figure out how to hook up the new electronics. You and me both, sir.



Teen Wolf - 3.23 - Insatiable

This was a great episode of Teen Wolf, especially for a penultimate episode. Allison died a hero after saving Isaac twice. It was a touching farewell if a bit marred by the lack of a good storyline for her character throughout the season. Overall this is by far the best season of Teen Wolf yet.

Grade: B+

Best Scene - Argent invites Allison to make her graduation silver bullet, and Allison tells her dad how much she loves him

Best Quote - Coach: "This school has a very strict no bullying policy."

Saddest Scene - Allison dies in Scott's arms

Best Action - The pack fights DarkStiles' Oni

Most Important Player - Allison

The Yippee Award - Coach didn't die, and he's still snarky, and he's the hero.

Best Reason to Watch - The Scott and Stiles brother bond. When Scott realizes that Stiles is hurting and starts worrying about him, I physically ache inside. May nothing ever come between this bromance. Nothing and no one.

Biggest Awww Scene / Best Hug in the History of Teen Wolf Hugs - Sheriff hugs Stiles so tight when Scott confirms that is indeed Stiles. Awww.

The "You Know It's Time to Transfer When…" Award - …when the school you teach at has a higher murder rate than Detroit AND you don't even have good health insurance. Teachers usually have the best insurance.

Best Reason to Fast Forward - Awkward teen relationship moments

Funniest Duo - Stiles and Isaac

Creepiest Moment - DarkStiles smirks as the Oni start to kill Isaac

The "Just Hit Me in the Gut, Part 22" Award - Argent runs up just in time to see his daughter die



Blacklist - 1.16 - Mako Tanida

I like that this episode concentrated on Ressler, a character that has been largely shafted. However, I hate being emotionally manipulated and this entire episode reeked of it. Why bring Audrey on for such a short time and then kill her off in the most moronic way ever? Surely they could have given Ressler some meaty scenes without resorting to a huge old plot device. This cheapens the entire episode. It doesn't however cheapen Diego Klattenhoff's performance. He always shines when given the opportunity. Let's make that happen more often, writers. I also liked getting more confirmation that Tom is a killer, even if it was at the expense of Jolene and Lance Reddick. He's finally interesting so I hope they don't kill him off right away now too. It looks like things really come to a head Monday.

Grade: C+

Best Scene - Ressler threatens to shoot his murderous best friend

Best Quote - Tom: "Alright, show and tell's over. I have detention at 4."

MVP - Ressler

Most Disgusting - a man disembowels himself to save his family

Biggest Idiot on the Planet - Audrey. She walks down the middle of the road when a guy is waving a gun around. Moron!

Worst Storytelling - They brought Audrey on board just to kill her off. It's a cheap emotional manipulation unworthy of the usual writing on The Blacklist.

Best Surprise - Tom is lethal…and more importantly, interesting

The "Say What?" Award - Why is the honorable thing always the most disgusting?

Biggest Twist - Ressler shoots blanks at the his mob boss best friend and said friend stabs himself

Worst Present Ever - Red sends Ressler Tanida's head in a box



Star-Crossed - 1.05 - Dreamers Often Lie

Grade: B+

Best Scene - tie - Roman confronts Gloria about Eljida

Best Quote / Best Pep Talk - Roman tells Drake they can work together

Biggest Awww Scene - Gloria gives her child to Eljida to protect him

Biggest Surprise - Emery isn't annoying in this episode. In fact, she and Grayson make a pretty good team.

Best Character Interaction - Teri and Taylor, the two queen witches would make for a powerfully uncomfortable alliance so more of them together please

The "Say What?" Award - How many kids are there in this high school? They keep making announcements to the same group of teens. Are there really only 60 kids in this school?

Worst Friends - Grayson, you totally got shafted by Eric's new friends leaving evidence in your back seat

Most Interesting New Atrian Fact - Atrians can see colors humans can't. which makes passing notes easier

Wackiest SubPlot- Drake and Taylor completely misunderstand each other and get busy in a bathroom. Nasty!

Most Easily Found Super Secret Hiding Place - Eljida

Ickiest - Drake digs up Beaumont's body and plant black cyper in it



The Musketeers - 1.08 - The Challenge

This episode saw the men of the Musketeers whoring themselves out to gain entry into a contest to see who is the best soldier. The winner represents the Musketeers in a competition against the Red Guard to end the age old question of which is superior. For an episode about soldiering, the emoangsting reigned and snark left the building early. Apparently it didn't want to see the sugar momma march either. For the record, I am also on Team Bonacieux. He has a right to expect his wife to be faithful and no matter how much they try to paint him in a bad light, that does not change. Neither does my distaste now for both Constance and D'Artagnan. I did like how Treville was trying to save his men even if they saw it as a betrayal, and Athos has proven to be a good mentor to D'Artagnan. I'd like to see more of this. Overall though, the real reason to watch was the action. There were several good fight scenes.


Grade: C+

Best Scene - The King grants D'Artagnan a commission into the Musketeers

Best Quote - Milady: "I do everything for you." Cardinal: "Permit me to doubt that."

MVP - Treville

Best Reason to Watch - fight scenes

The "No, I Don't Miss You" Award - I really, really won't miss the Constance and D'Artagnan love affair. I hope it continues to go away.

The "Say What?" Award - If this Bastille prison cell if is the 17th century equivalent of Club Fed, it leaves a lot to be desired.

Best Action - Labarge kicks D'Artagnan's butt

Best Incentive - Labarge wins or is executed

Best Reason to Fast Forward - D'Artagnan and Constance

Biggest Callback to Gladiator Days - People watching one man kill another



The Goldbergs - 1.18 - For Your Own Good

I admit it. I had Glory of Love on repeat after watching this episode of The Goldbergs. I might have even played it for an hour after the rewatch. It was a great subtle mockery of how the song was in constant radio rotation the summer of 1986, along with Who's Johnny and everything off the Top Gun soundtrack. Or maybe it was cheap on the budget. Who knows? One of the things I love about The Goldbergs is its fun slow dance with nostalgia. Kids today just don't understand what a big deal the new microwave was or how scary. AquaNet caused asthma attacks and allergies down every overcrowded school hallway, and yes, I just threw away the last of the Garbage Pail Kids cards I found in an old shoebox. Glad to hear they aren't worth a million bucks. This week the best part was Murray and Beverly's feud. Played to perfection by Jeff Garlin and Wendi McLendon-Covey, the best heart and laugh out loud moments came from their antics…and the dreaded crimper. You know it's love when you volunteer to clean a frat house.

Grade: B

Best Scene - Murray gets his chair back

Best Quote - Pops: "I just heated up the lasagna in the time it took for your relationship to collapse." / Barry: "Here, take your Garbage Pail Kids back. You don't need to pay me to protect you. I want to because you're my brother."

Best Aww Moment - Barry tells Adam he doesn’t have to pay him to protect him

Best Super Power - Beverly fights for Murray's chair with the glory of deep cleaning

Best Reason to Watch - Murray and Beverly's ever escalating war

Best Intended (?) Mockery - playing Glory of Love over and over again in salute to how many times it was played the summer of 1986

Biggest Freak Out - Murray freaks over Erica sitting in his chair because the first 48 hours molds the chair to your butt

Best Use of Music - Glory of Love by Peter Cetera plays several times in the episode but none better than while Murray reminisces about his beloved chair. It's hilariously perfect.

Most Nostalgic - I remember when we got our first microwave and all the controversy over whether it would give people cancer. What with the tests that "proved" they caused cancer in lab rats, along with red M & M's, saccharine, power lines, and almost everything else. By the time the 80's ended, we were all convinced that lab rats were just susceptible to cancer.

Best Moment - Beverly sprays Erica away with her Aqua Net. I know from years of going through school hallways in the 80's what an effective weapon that is. The sting in your eyes can actually blind you for ¾ of a minute.



Trophy Wife - 1.17 - The Wedding (part 2)

Grade: B-

Best Scene - Kate tells Diane and Jackie she really wants them at the wedding

Best Quote - Bert: "Sometimes a man just needs to cry."

MVP - Pete

Best Character Interaction - Pete and Kate

Most Obnoxious - Kate's mom

Best Code Word - grocery list

Biggest Aww Moment - Pete arranges for the wedding to be held on the plane



Perception - 2.14 - Obsession

Grade: B

Best Scene - Daniel's class says they won't return until he is reinstated

Best Quote - Kate: "So what's with the look?" Daniel: "There's like a 1% chance that I've been doing these things and I don't remember." Kate: "I'm going to run with the 99%." Daniel: "Good."

Best Moment - Max verifies that the cop is real for Daniel

Best Return - Caroline Newsome

Best Aww Moment - Kate tells Donnie not to leave

The "You Tell Him" Award - Paul calls Daniel out on using his diagnosis to be a douche

Best Manipulator - Kate by getting Daniel to agree to a DNA test

Biggest Douche - tie - The Chancellor and Williams, the big college donor

Biggest PSA - people with mental illness shouldn't be prejudged

Biggest Surprise - Daniel actually went to Paris



Growing Up Fisher - 1.04 - Trust Fall

This episode was a thousand times better than the last one. Joyce mostly acted like an adult and Mel was taken down a couple pegs. I like that we got to see Runyen's family, but it is weird that Henry wouldn't know what his best friend's parents do. How does that happen? The best part though was the heartwarming end when Joyce and Mel are on the same page and so is Katie, even if she had to pretend she wasn't.

Grade: B

Best Scene - Joyce and Mel explain the Katie situation to the cop

Best Quote - Mel: "Game Night, yeah. There's one game teenagers like to play and the last round usually involves peeing on a stick."

Best Character Interaction - Runyen's family

MVP - Katie

Funniest - The UPS man flees the house when Joyce gets a call

Biggest Misstep - Mel falls in a construction hole

Biggest Brat - Runyen, who needs to be spanked

Most Overprotective - Mel tracks his family via GPS

Creepiest - Runyen's grandma sleeps with her eyes open



Community - 5.10 - Advanced, Advanced Dungeons & Dragons

Wow! Who knew Dungeons and Dragons could be so hostile? With the exception of killing Shirley off so early, I enjoyed the gang working together (and against each other) to help Hickey out. It's a great example of the interaction between all the characters and also a play on the great imagination this show has. Got to love Abed's smart consequences.

Grade: B

Best Scene - Hickey breaks the hobgoblins' trust to get answers

Best Quote - Abed: "A satisfying sequel is difficult to pull off. Many geniuses have defeated themselves through hubris, making this a chance to prove that I'm better than all of them. I'm in."

MVP - Abed

Best Meta - Fat Neil is in the background doing this and that while Jeff is talking about him

Biggest Prick - Hank, who sucks all joy from Game Night

The "Are You Kidding Me?" Award - Shirley's the first to die. Eight minutes in and she's already obsolete. Urgh!

The "Ulgh" Award - Spider noises and talk about spiders with wings. Ulgh, ulgh, ulgh.

Voice of Reason - Britta, surprisingly

Best Physical Comedy - Abed's hobgoblin face

Best Music - the character chanting



Wonderland - 1.11 - Heart of the Matter

Wonderland is bound and determined to make me hate it. Again they killed off one of the very few characters I actually liked. Then they went a step further and did the worst thing imaginable - they killed off Will's snark. In a week of character deaths, this one was the worse. How am I supposed to stomach the sap that falls from Alice's mouth, or the sentimentalism of Cyrus. How can I counterpoint the hokiness of Jafar's dialogue without the sweet poison of the Red Queen? I vote for Cora to come back and kill them all! Let it be the complete tragedy they have made of this show in this episode. Bah!

Grade: D

Best Scene - Cora, the Queen of Hearts, manipulates Ana into staying and being queen

Best Quote - Jabberwocky: "Your deepest fears." Knave: "I'll save you some time: water, hairy spiders, being stabbed in the head, and uh, raisins. Grapes are fine but raisins, no thank you."

Only Reason to Watch - Cora, the Queen of Hearts

Best Interaction - Cora and Anastasia

Best Distraction - Cyrus starts a barroom brawl so miniature Alice can steal the compass back

Biggest Question - How can Will be blocking Jafar's magic now when he couldn't when the Red Queen made her wishes?

The "Overreact Much" Award - Will has Cora pluck out his heart because Ana left him

Funniest - Cyrus turns lights on and off in amazement. Wait until you find out about the internet, dahling.

The Aladdin Award - Cora explains the 3 restrictions of magic a la the genie in Aladdin

Best Mother-Child Reunion - Cyrus and Jafar's snake talking stick. Hi, Momma.



Grimm - 3.16 - The Show Must Go On

This is not my favorite episode. It was too PSA about unfair work conditions and I am tired of hearing about Monroe and Rosalee complaining about Wesen exploitation when no one has bothered to tell Wu the truth yet. Yes, I am still ticked about that and it feels like they are sweeping it under the rug. For me the best part was the Swiss Alps scenes and for the most part that was just Meisner and Adalind running through the woods. I am equally upset that Castle Spy died. He was one of the few I still really liked. At least he got to go out a hero.

Grade: C

Best Quote - Monroe: "I want to thank you for changing my life because if it hadn't been for you I never would have met Rosalee and for that I am truly grateful." Rosalee: "Me too." Monroe: "So…will you pay for the wedding?"

Biggest Hero - Castle Spy for taking out Prince Viktor's men

Saddest Moment - Prince Viktor kills Castle Spy

Biggest Aww Scene - Monroe and Rosalee ask Nick and Juliette to be their Best Man and Maid of Honor

Biggest Surprise - Adalind's freaky baby didn't stop the people chasing them….or did she?

Least Loss - Delores and Monica, the two idiots whose brattiness had me rooting for their death from the beginning

The "Say What?" Award - How does Meisner not know what Prince Viktor looks like? He's a main person in the Resistance plus the prince has surely been on TV a time or two since Eric died.

Biggest Filler - Nick and Hank keep asking how they create the magic when we all already know about woging

The "Screw You, I'm Still Ticked and Ignoring It Won't Make It Better" Award - I don't care anymore about your Wesen exploitation issues. What's with this theme 2 episodes in a row? If you aren't going to be honest with Wu, throw your historical pity party somewhere else, Monroe and Rosalee.

The Hmmm Award - They are going to drive to rehab with that guy in an open cage? That won't attract any attention from people on the road. Not even say the police.



Helix - 1.12 - The Reaping

It has only been 12 days but Daniel crept into my heart and became the most interesting character on Helix by far. He was just determining what he wanted and who he was going to be outside of the shadow of his father and I was looking forward to seeing him grow beyond a good soldier to become even more of an asset in this fight. In addition, his relationship with his father was one of the few that I wanted to see more of instead of less like all the rest. Therefore of course, he died. Ugh! There was so much more to explore about him just like Constance, who met an untimely death before him. I don't know why TV insists on killing off all the great side characters instead of offing the far more annoying main ones. RIP Daniel. I will miss you. That said, Hatake was again the second star of the night behind his son. His pain in seeing Daniel's brains blown all over the glass was palpable. I also like his humanity when pleading for his kids and his patience in battle. While the baby-faced villain is a common genre show trope, Scythe is chilling and the personal nature of Hatake killing his mother, Constance, gives the conflict sufficient gravitas. Everything is intensified when its personal. I look forward to the season finale next week, but to be honest, I'm not sure I want to continue this adventure without Daniel.

Grade: B+

Best Scene - Hiroshi has to choose which of his children will live until Daniel sacrifices himself for Julia

Best Quote - Hatake: "Daniel, please. Don't do anything foolish." Daniel: "I love you, father. I always will and I forgive you." Hatake: "Daniel!"

Best Character Interaction - Daniel and Julia. It surprises me how much I loved their scene together and while it was just a blip in the episode, it is the character interaction that stands out the most to me.

MVP - Hatake. While Daniel was phenomenal in this episode, Hatake just slightly edges him out for MVP.

The "Say What?" Award - They leave their super secret hiding place to recover the scientists' dead bodies. I don't mean to be cruel but there's nothing you do for those guys. Save yourselves.

Best Banter - Julia and Sarah talk about immortality

The "He Has a Point" Award - Alan makes a great case for how immortality is not working out for them so far.

Recapitations - Sadly we watch Constance being killed again. Over and over. Talk about another character that had more interesting storyline to share. Why can't they kill off Alan or Sarah and leave the great characters to develop? I don't understand TV writers.

Best Surprise - Julia's mother is alive and on the base

Best Secret Ninja Skills - Scythe, who can take a full grown woman from an elevator without a sound and without anyone else in the elevator seeing it

Best Aim - Anana snowballs Tulok. I want her on my team.






Screencaps by CW TV, TV.com, Remote Control, TV Guide, Have You Heard, Studio System News, New York Daily News

Previously - The nemeton screwed up everything, Mummy Mouth wouldn't go away, Stiles doubled himself for twice the fun and suffering, Scott roared Stiles away from an exciting game of Go, Stiles barfed himself up, DarkStiles took the Oni from Noshiko, Allison killed an Oni and got killed by one, and everything hurt.

While waiting at the police station with Isaac and Lydia, Scott flashes back to Argent coaching him on what to say. He comes up with a carjacking story but Scott questions how he can be so calm, so rational in the face of his own daughter's death. Argent: "It's what we do." He face goes stone cold as he visibly pulls himself even more together before walking away. Parrish questions Isaac but he's obviously been coached too. Sheriff puts a hand on his shoulder, as Isaac whispers, "It just happened so fast." At the same time, Stiles waits at Kira's. He looks worse than ever. Noshiko serves him tea, while the family debates over how Allison killed the Oni. Kira: "But she did it. She killed one of them." Stiles: "Yeah and then they killed her. Allison is dead. Now I guess the only good thing is that it looks like I'm dying too." Oh Stiles, you can't think like that. We can't lose you as well. Noshiko says that the nogitsune splitting from Stiles was a powerful move. Now they have to counter with a divine move, an inspirational move that changes the flow of the game into their favor. It's a Go term and according to Wikipedia, very rare. Stiles: "Okay so is anyone feeling divinely inspired?" Kira brings up the nemeton, which of course leads to Deaton - he of the sketchy answers and big-time secrets. Oh no. Meanwhile back at the Argent's, Isaac is falling apart. He's ostensibly there to make sure Argent is alright but he assures Isaac he'll be fine. Maybe, probably not. Argent: "I've dealt with this before. I…uh, I have a capacity and an ability to compartmentalize my emotions." Isaac: "I don't." Oh baby. Argent hugs Isaac to comfort him but his eyes go cold in the process. He's enraged. DarkStiles just murdered the wrong child.

Speaking of Allison, Sheriff tells Parrish to keep her death quiet to keep the news uninvolved. In reality, he knows the supernatural fight is not over. As they talk the Oni materialize and guns start firing as they pan in on the fabulous Wanted poster from a few episodes ago. Bwah! That thing is still fantastic. Sadly, the Oni are not. Since it is an unwritten Teen Wolf law that all fight scenes must be broken up, attention turns to the twins. Whatever. For reasons I am not aware of, fire is now an effective cure for wolfsbane. Wish we’d known that a couple of seasons ago. Derek has no sympathy. "You should be fine in a couple of hours unless whoever shot at you manages to find you again." Ouch! The alpha twins plan to pack up Lydia and Danny and flee Beacon Hills. Quite honestly, it's the smartest plan I've heard all season. Derek of course disagrees. Aiden: "I'm going to try and convince her to run and hide like any sane person would do." True. Ethan: "Allison's dead. Stiles is dying. What do you think?" Derek: "I think Danny won't believe you and Lydia would never run and hide." Derek makes everything about Scott and shames the twins into staying in the most inspiring speech he’s ever given. I swear Derek is more alpha as an omega than he ever was as an alpha. I weep for what could have been. Derek: "You don't fight for a leader. You fight for a leader's cause." Aiden: "What cause?" Derek: "Scott's always been about one thing, saving his friends. He will do anything and everything to save the people he cares about. When there's no chance of winning, he keeps fighting. When all hope is lost, he finds another way and when he's beaten down, he stands up again. You want to earn a place in his pack. You want redemption. Find another way to stand and fight." It's rousing. It's ovation-worthy. It's for Scott? Sorry it's the pack as a whole, not one person. Scott does keep fighting and never gives up, but it's generally someone else who finds another way, namely Lydia.

She does it again tonight. Scott and Lydia question Deaton about the nemeton but since it thing can never be helpful, it’s too weak to trap the nogitsune but powerful enough to attract all things supernatural. Thanks nemeton. Can we burn you now? Deaton reminds them that the nogitsune is a Stiles-shaped spirit, not a real person. Lydia reminds him Noshiko caught it before. In other words, be helpful or get off the screen. Saving the conversation, Lydia remembers Peter carried Talia's claws in a special box, which Deaton confirms is made from nemeton wood. She calls Derek to rendezvous at the school. Eight minutes in and we have a plan. Sadly DarkStiles has one as well. He asks an orderly to page Melissa, but the impatient Oni skewer him. DarkStiles: "Well I guess I'll just find her myself." Ha! He smirks and the creepiest version of Bad Moon Rising plays as the Oni kill them aaaalllll!!!!! (Sorry. Bad Moon Rising requires a Supernatural reference. Had to be done.) One heroic orderly uses a serving tray to bash them but alas he’s outmatched. Blood flies everywhere as DarkStiles follows them nonchalantly in the flickering lights. Unaware of the turmoil below, Melissa and Douche Dad discuss his plans to ditch Scott again. Really sir? How clueless can you be? He answers by suggesting Melissa tell Scott he's left for him while he sends a "follow up e-mail." Melissa and the entire universe: "You're an idiot!" DD: "What's wrong with that?" Melissa: "Seriously?" He's too dumb to live and it is Beacon Hills. May the next corpse be you, DoucheDad. Melissa tells him not to bail yet. "He doesn't hate you. He just wants you to try harder." And from what I can tell, that wouldn't be hard. The elevator opens onto the Oni and although DoucheDad tries to protects her, Melissa is sliced by an Oni blade. Noooo! They got the wrong McCall.

It's a two-fold attack as the other Oni still lay waste to everyone in the police station. Parrish and others empty their pistols, but Sheriff knows the score. Sheriff: "You're gonna need a bigger gun." He leads the charge but it's over in minutes. When he protects Parrish, he's nicked and Oni poison courses through his veins, through all of their veins. Mission accomplished; the Oni vanish. Parrish: "Why did they let us live?" Sheriff: "I'm not so sure they did." Judging from the black smoke pouring from the wound, I think you're right. Parrish goes under, but Sheriff snaps him back to attention while I hope Parrish lives because he's snarky fun. Once Melissa is down, the Oni leave the hospital as well. DoucheDad (DD) tries to call Sheriff, but he's too busy dying himself. Melissa says to call Scott, but DD isn't privy to the pack yet so being the awesome mom she is, she tells DD to be there for Scott if she doesn't make it. If she doesn't make it, I'm siccing a platoon of Oni on you, Jeff. Fair warning. DD insists he apologized, proving he's never been in the same room with a teenager in his life. Melissa: "He's a teenage boy. He doesn't care about apologizes. He wants you to do better. He probably wants you to suffer a little." Yeah there's a woman who understands teens. He gets her to a gurney and she makes him promise not to leave Scott. DD: "You told me to leave." Way to blame her, you prick. Melissa: " I told a drunk to get out of the house. I didn't tell his father to get out of his life." As people in both places lie dying, Lydia is overwhelmed by the force of it. She starts to swoon. "Something's happening. I had a sudden rushing feeling like we're running out of time." Enter Stiles, leaning heavily on Kira to bring him into the clinic. Stiles: "Yeah, yeah I kind of got that feeling too." I get the feeling a gust of wind would knock Stiles over. Get the boy a wheelchair. Still it's nice the Detective Duo are of one accord tonight.

In the House of Dead Daughter Discord, Isaac plays with Allison's weapons until Argent rescues his fingers. Isaac mentions that Allison's dying breath was to ask Scott to tell Argent something, but she didn't finish it. Probably because she was too busy telling Scott she loved him. Priorities people. Isaac: "She didn't get a chance to finish it but I'm sure it was just that she loved you." Argent recaps that beautiful scene from last week. For once it's not a recapitation. For once, I wish it were. Isaac asks to see the silver arrowhead she made because he's figured it out, the key to killing the Oni. Way to go! Isaac: "I need to see it." Argent: "Why?" Isaac: "Cause I have a feeling it isn't there." Bingo! The 5th arrow's missing and now we get a recapitation of Allison holding the arrowhead and silver bullet. Argh! Sadly this time I called it. The Oni can be killed by silver. She and Isaac remember Argent's Yakuza gun deal story and piece it together. What I can't piece together is how a creature over 1,000 years old didn't know his mortal enemies had such an easy weakness? Why did DarkStiles need anyone else's help when he could have stuffed the Oni with silver anytime he wanted to? This is a Plot Device, capital P, capital D. They make a big deal of the Yakuza scene being Argent's first deal. I have no idea why but it does mean we get the young Argent flashback for the 53rd time this season. Seriously, I know people think he's hot but that's ridiculous. Isaac suggests the Oni are allergic to silver so if it stays in their body, it kills them…rapidly, as in instantly, as in…oh who cares. They have a better plan now. Isaac: "We can stop them." Argent: "No, we can kill them." Vengeful Argent is not someone I'd want to meet alone at night, but I vocally cheer each time this scene comes on. Go kick Oni butt!

….but not at Beacon Hills High at night! That never works guys. I'm still convinced it's built on a Hellmouth. Stiles stops Scott from entering in order to confirm the plan. Stiles: "Scott, hold on. I know what you're all thinking. If this works, it might kill me too but even if it does, you just…you have to go through with it. Stick with the plan, okay?" Scott: "The plan is to save you. That's the plan I'm going with." I adore Loyal Scott. He's my favorite version. He pushes open the door and instantly the plan changes. They've entered Narnia, minus the frozen animal statues. (Bet you could borrow the frozen monkeys from Helix, guys.) Stiles: "Well this is definitely not part of the plan." Ha! Does Plan A ever work on this show? Plan B isn't a surefire winner either. Derek marches up to DarkStiles, who snarks, "Did you bring us a present?" Derek: "I brought 2." I guess his speech really worked as the Alpha Twins flank him. DarkStiles: "I've heard of an alpha pack Derek, but not a pack of former alphas. It's a little sad, isn't it?" Nah, as long as the words alpha pack never are said again. Derek: "I might not be an alpha anymore, but I can still fight like one." Not a ringing endorsement considering how most those alpha fights ended. Still the battle is on both outside and inside the Narnia school. I groan and eye roll when Mummy Mouth lurches in. I thought we finished this mess once he barfed up Stiles. Urgh! MM: "You're dying Stiles and now everyone you care about is dying too." Stiles: "What? What do you mean?" MM does the poor winner monologue which basically boils down to I'm killing your dad, mom-substitute, and even Deaton. Deaton however holds his own, using one Oni's sword against the other until he's sliced too. MM wants Stiles to die the samurai way, gutting himself like DarkStiles did with Scott, and then having Scott behead him. MM: "I'm going to make your best friend kill you, Stiles, and you're going to let him because just like you they're all going to die, everyone touched by an Oni's blade, unless Scott kills you first." Say what? Unh unh. Not happening. Stiles: "Why? Why are you doing this?" MM: "To win the game." Yeah, not playing with you anymore.

The battle commences. Well at least Kira and Scott, since Lydia is busy tending to an ever worsening Stiles. Scott: "How is this happening? How are we in this place?" No one knows, Scott. It's Teen Wolf. Just go with it. Kira: "You're asking me? A month ago I'd never even touched a sword." Don't remind me, Chuck! The battle doesn’t go well either inside or outside, but man does it look cool. Teen Wolf fight scenes have gotten immeasurably better. Derek yells for the alpha twins to get the box so the Oni appear right in front of it. Aiden: "I hate ninjas." You and me both, honey. Things go from bad to worse as Kira loses her sword and Melissa bleeds from the mouth. Nope, no way. Melissa cannot die. I refuse. Overwhelmed as Scott is surrounded, Stiles picks up Kira's sword and places it at his abdomen. Stiles is NOT dying either. You hear me, Jeff Davis! His hands shake as he hesitates. Scott: "Stiles, no! Stiles!" Stiles: "What if it saves you? What if it saves all of you?" Lydia: "What if it's just another trick?" MM: "No more tricks, Lydia." Um, you are a trickster. Lies are your business, so shut up Mummy Mouth. It tries to get Scott to behead Stiles and while it is tense, I laugh. Has Mummy Mouth never met Scott? It ain't happening. Give it up. Especially when Stiles realizes he has no reflection in the sword. MM: "You have no moves left." Stiles: "I do. A divine move." He tosses Kira back her sword. Argent has a divine move of his own. Just as the Derek and the alpha twins are defeated, Argent shoots silver arrows from the stairs, picking off the Oni one by one. Isaac joins the battle with an epic somersault and takes off with the box. DarkStiles just takes off. He's no dummy. Argent shoots at the last Oni, but he slices the last arrow in half. Argent yells for them to get it and Aiden dives in. He does some fancy maneuvers and takes out the Oni, but not before getting stabbed himself. As he pulls the blade from his chest, Ethan screams his name. I'm not up for more death tonight.

Back in Narnia, Stiles goes with Plan C. "Stop fighting them. It's an illusion. You have to stop fighting them. It looks real and it feels real, but Scott you've got to trust me. It's an illusion." Of course Scott trusts Stiles, and he and Kira walk the Oni gauntlet allowing them to slice and dice them. As Scott gets to the door, he shoves Mummy Mouth out and suddenly they're in the school again. No cuts or anything. Bye Narnia. Don't come back. All wardrobes are now closed. Scott: "We're okay." Famous last words. Enter a royally ticked off DarkStiles. Let's just say losing gracefully does nothing for him. DarkStiles: "This was my game. You think you can beat me at my game?" He stalks Lydia and Stiles down the hallway, getting more irate and frankly scarier with every step. DarkStiles: "Divine move. Divine move? You think you have any moves at all? You can kill the Oni, but me…Me? I'm a thousand years old. You can't kill me." True, but according to Katashi's scroll they can change him. Stiles: "You can't be a fox and a wolf." Now it's DarkStiles who's scared. So am I. If he becomes a reformed werewolf hybrid and joins the pack, I will be rolling. Scott takes a big bite out of DarkStiles while Kira rams her katana through his heart. Nicely done! DarkStiles falls to his knees and a fly escapes from him only to be caught by….Isaac with Talia's claw jar. The shell that is DarkStiles crumbles to dust. So much for being a wolf. Instantly all those infected by Oni poison are healed. All except Aiden. Not that I care because at that moment Stiles falls unconscious to the ground. Nooo! This is a horrible time for a commercial break. Thankfully when we return, Stiles opens his eyes. False alarm. Stiles: "Oh God, I fainted didn't I? We're alive. We all alive?" Scott: "Yeah, we're okay." Again spoke too soon. Lydia senses something and speeds away, the rest of the pack following her.

In the Home of Horrific High School Deaths, Aiden bleeds out under the archway where Blake, former killer, and Derek kissed upon his return. Ethan holds him and it's painful in more than one way. Aidan: "Does it hurt you as much as it hurts me?" Crying, Ethan says yes as Argent looks away. Aiden: "Okay. Lydia never believed I was one of the good guys anyway." Derek: "She'll believe me." Awww. Derek being sweet? Is season 4 the apocalypse? Ethan cries over his dead brother's body and Lydia races out just in time to be too late. She stops and Stiles holds her in disbelief. Sad metronome music tocks as the ending montage of heartache and healing begins. Kira's family puts away the Go game, which I have zero interest in learning now. Scott cries over Allison in his mom's arms. Awww, poor baby. Isaac and Argent take off with the claw jar. The mood is broken when Kira starts yapping to Lydia. Shut up, Kira! It does slingshot us right into humor though. Malia enrolls in school and Coach wants her to join track. Malia: "I sometimes ran from cougars trying to eat me." Ha! Only in Beacon Hills. Coach: "I've got the same problem." BWAH! So, so glad you didn't die. At Scott's, Malia learns how to get her claws back. When it finally works, she gets so excited she almost slices Stiles. They all laugh and….yeah, I'm not fooled. No way Jeff Davis lets Teen Wolf end on a happy note. Back at school, Ethan and Danny break up. Ethan can't stay now that Aiden is dead (and because they are contracted to another show.) Danny can't date Ethan because he's a werewolf. Say what? Huh? Danny knows! How? Ethan is equally perplexed. Danny: "Dude, it's Beacon Hills." Um, well, actually that does explain everything and there's a new tagline for the podcast. Thanks Danny! They kiss goodbye as Stiles tears down his wall of weird. Sheriff: "Hey, whatcha doing?" Stiles: "Uh, just clearing my head." Good sign.

Even Deaton helps in his wacky druid way, spouting about regression to the mean or the yin and yang of life. All things end up balancing. Scott: "Like things will always get better." Deaton: "More like things can't always be bad." Love the positivity. Scott, the optimist, tries again. "So no matter how bad things get…" Deaton, the sourpuss: "Or how good…" Scott: "They always come back to the middle." Nice try, but Scott and I both know this is Beacon Hills, fancy philosophy or not. Scott: "I'm not sure that applies to a town like this." Umm hmm. Move now before the dreaded finale whammy. Derek and Stiles talk in the Locker Room of Zero Security about a nightmare. Hunters broke into his loft asking about the She Wolf but he wouldn't tell them where Cora is. Oh please, not her again. Good thing the hunters want someone else. A smoke bomb launches as a growl in the fog takes out said hunters and shooting Derek. Stiles asks who it was but he doesn't know. They discuss methods of becoming a werewolf but a recapitation of Kate Argent is the real problem. I don't like where this is heading. What's dead should stay dead! Dean Winchester said so! Stiles: "Derek, if this is all just a dream, why do you look so worried?" Derek: "Because I don't remember waking up?" Nope, no more nemeton shenanigans. Since Stiles is the expert, Derek asks how you know if you're still dreaming and he spouts extra fingers nonsense again. When Derek grabs Stiles' wrist, sure enough…6 fingers. Derek: "It's real." Kate Argent steps from the shadows and turns into the female version of X-Men's Beast. I turn into a raging loon. Even Cora would be better than Kate. Why not bring back Blake? How about Erica? Anyone but the one I wanted dead by her third episode. Noooo! She was annoying enough as a human psycho. Now she's a wolf-jaguar hybrid psycho? Well at least we know who shot the alpha twins, and maybe if we're lucky she'll be too busy for Wolf Watch. I'd much rather rewatch the Teen Wolf episode. Even better, maybe like Stiles, Derek is still dreaming and it's all a big hoax. Hey, a girl can dream.


And thus ends season 3 of Teen Wolf. For me there is no contest. This season was miles better than any other. The writing was for the most part tighter, the acting was a tremendous improvement, and the fight scenes were more thrilling. Every aspect raised the bar and makes me excited for season 4. We lost some great characters along the way like Allison, Boyd, and Blake. We gained two new characters with potential in Kira and Malia. We still haven't killed Gerard, but I have high hopes for next season. All in all, this Teen Wolf season will go down as one of the best seasons I have watched in TV as a whole. Jeff Davis, I may rant at you and basically scream your name a la "Kriiiiipke!" but take it as a compliment. You sir have done an amazing job of raising the bar each season and I can't wait to see what you do in the Lydia-centric one. My countdown to June 23rd starts now. Well done cast and crew! Kudos to all! Thanks for making such a delightfully entertaining show.




Grade:  A-
Best Scene - DarkStiles stalks Lydia and Stiles down the hallway and rants about how they cannot kill him
Best Quote - Danny: "Dude, it's Beacon Hills." Talk about 4 words that sum up the entire show.
MVP - DarkStiles
Best Snark - DarkStiles asks to have Melissa paged but then the Oni kill him
The "Are You Kidding Me?" Award - The Oni are killed by silver and the nogitsune didn't know that? I thought he was over 1,000 years old. Shouldn't he have been pursuing his enemy's weaknesses?


Best Moment - Melissa holds a crying Scott
Best Action - the fight scene in Narnia / fighting the Oni outside the school
Biggest Douche - DoucheDad who wants Melissa to tell Scott he bailed and then plans to send a follow-up e-mail…to his SON. Argh!
Best Character Interaciton - Argent and Isaac / Lydia and Stiles
Wicked Mad Ninja Skills - the Oni who deflected every bullet Parrish shot with his sword
Most Simpatico - Lydia and Stiles both feel time is running out as the Oni take out the police station and the hospital


Best Song-to-Scene - Bad Moon Rising during the hospital slaughter
Best Gymnastics - Isaac somersaults
Best Reason to Watch - the pack works together to take dow the Big Bad
Biggest Shock - Danny knows about werewolves
Most Improved - fight scenes
Worst Surprise - Kate Argent is back
Saddest Statement - Argent: "It's what we do."
Most Nerve-racking Moment - Stiles falls unconscious / Melissa's bloody teeth
Best Continuity - Pan in on the Wanted poster



Special Feature - It's the season finale so I thought we'd end with one last poll. There has been some dicussion online as to what the divine move actually was. What is your take on it?






Screencaps by Screencapped.net, Colton's Dylan, Persea Americana, and Zimbio.

Welcome to the best scene polls for The 100. If you are new to them, basically every Thursday or Friday after a new episode, I will post a choice of 12 scenes for you to choose from. One of them will always be "other" in case your favorite isn't mentioned. You can vote for one option. These polls are a lot more fun if people also explain their choices in the comments below and keep the conversation going. So without further ado, happy voting!

Arrow -

1. Felicity: "Or as I like to call her, Oliver's psycho ex-girlfriend hell-bent on revenge against her father." Sara: "Ex-girlfriend?" Oliver: "That's what you took from that sentence?" (Bradley Adams)

2. Knyazev: "You prefer boat, Hendrik, feel free to swim back." (Bradley Adams)



The Blacklist -

1. Reddington: "Ivan took credit for the hit in some deep, dark recess of the internet - a place only inhabited by scary people and reckless teenagers. A place where curiosity inevitably kills the cat." (Bradley Adams)

2. Reddington: "Do you find all those little fingerprints on the glass distracting, or does that sort of thing not bother you?" (Bradley Adams and Dahne)



How I Met Your Mother -

Robin: "Shouldn't I be with the guy who finds me my locket. The one who steals me the Blue French Horn. Tell me one reason why I shouldn't be with that guy." Ted: "Because I'm not that guy anymore" (Pablozky)




Justified -

Boyd: "I may not know a lot about a lot of things, but I do know how to blow shit up." (Max Conte and Sharon Seymour)



The Musketeers -

1. D'Artagnan: "For the last time, mind the uniform!" Porthos: "It doesn't look right on you." Athos: "Too shiny, too new." Porthos: "Looks like your mum's dressed you." (Sandi)

2. Athos: "Your Eminence, may I congratulate you on capturing the culprit. I don't believe Mellendorf acted alone, the assassins were hired by a woman, perhaps the woman who killed the money lender. Be assured I will not rest until she is brought to justice." Cardinal: "Forgive, I'm late for Mass." Athos: "Her and whoever she works for." (Sandi)

3. Porthos: "Ain't this better than trying to escape?" D'Artagnan: "Ask me again in 2 minutes if I'm still alive." (Dahne)

4. Athos: "If it's any consolation Mother Superior is next door praying for our immortal souls." Aramis: "Right now it's my mortal body I'm worried about." (Dahne)


NCIS: LA -

Deeks (in response to Sam saying that Callen was late to work because he had a date with Joelle last night): "Oh, I get the picture. Downloading now. Delete, delete, save, clear history." (Tonya Papanikolas)



Once Upon a Time -

Regina: "If you want to waste your time playing Nancy Drew be my guest." (Samy Bgs)




Person of Interest -

1. Fusco: "Your boy there's got issues. I hope that guy had health insurance." (Bradley Adams and Sharon Seymour)

2. Reese: "Stop playing with the horn, Lionel." Fusco: "Ever since I was a kid, I always wanted to drive one of these things." (Bradley Adams and Sharon Seymour)



Revenge -

Nolan: "Just wanna make sure you're not gonna black out and become your own worst Emily." (Virginia Fontana and Sharon Seymour)




Scandal -

Rowan Pope: "God forbid we should show weakness. Better to say that you're here on business. To threaten me and flex your muscles, but all of that's just pretense. Isn't it? A way to feel less alone in the world. To see that I, too, have stood in your shoes. Well, guess what? You're A-LONE!" Ouch! I love Jake, but Papa Pope tells it like it is. (Virginia Fontana)



Surviving Jack -

1. Jack: "I think everything everyone says is stupid. Tell me anyway." (Dahne)

2. Jack: "Who in the hell stuck a quarter in you? Will you please stop talking?" (Dahne)






Teen Wolf -

1. DarkStiles: "Divine move. Divine move? You think you have any moves at all? You can kill the Oni, but me…Me? I'm a thousand years old. You can't kill me." (Dahne)

2. Danny: "I just don't think I can do it." Ethan: "Date me?" Danny: "Date a werewolf." Ethan: "You knew." Danny: "Dude, it's Beacon Hills." (Dahne)



The Vampire Diaries -

Damon: "Need I remind you that Jeremy once had an affair with a ghost? The only thing that was missing was a sappy love song and a pottery wheel." (Virginia Fontana)




Screencaps by Comics Alliance, Screencapped.net, TV Guide, TV.com, BBC, Den of Geek, Kensi and Deeks, i09, RevengeABC Wikia, Scandal Fans, FOX, Mibba, and Digital Spy.

With the close of last week, 2 more of my weekly shows ended their seasons. It's about that time I guess. Hellatus will be on us in full-force soon. Luckily TV is starting to embrace a more open schedule so new ones keep cropping up as well. This week that was Surviving Jack, an episode that made me laugh several times but I'm not sure why. It gets a full 3 episodes from me to figure it out. Also this week I looked at 2 nominated shows, mostly because one of them was Arrow. I debated awhile about whether to consider it already reviewed since it was a weekly show but it was chosen 2x by the random number generator so I took it as a sign that I should. The other nominated show was Psych, which had me rolling with laughter - a truly funny episode. If you would like to nominate a show for me to watch, please fill in the 2 question form at the end. It takes very little time. I promise. Until next week, happy viewing!



Overall Awards:

Best Season - Teen Wolf - 3B

I may be jumping the gun here but no other TV show's season, except Sleepy Hollow, has come close to the excitement and intensity of Teen Wolf. In its third season, it improved dramatically in every aspect of TV. Well maybe not CGI, but I blame the budget for that. Teen Wolf dominated this viewing season with a fast-moving, thoroughly engrossing storyline involving my favorite character. Best yet it allowed all characters to shine throughout the season and did a good job with mixing up the character interactions. By doing so it allowed us to see different facets of these characters and shook up the status quo a bit. This finale did justice to how intense the ride has been. I also like how they keep upping the ante and by making Stiles both the victim and the Big Bad, they allowed Dylan O'Brien to showcase his talent. It was a powerful portrayal that had my heart aching for him and then instantly had me scared for the other characters. I particularly like how they built on the Scott-Stiles bond and proved that nothing could separate their brotherhood. Kudos all around to the cast and crew for making this one Hale of a season - terrible pun completely intended. I can't wait to see what June 23 has in store for us.



Best Character Interaction - The 100 - 
Clarke and Bellamy

I admit I am not 100% sold on The 100 yet. Its premise is intersting but its execution remains to be seen. I am however 100% sold on the interaction between Clarke and Bellamy. They are fascinating as two very different people trying to lead the 100 in opposite directions. Clarke, the determined, brusque hero wants to ensure everyone's survival, including those on the Ark. Bellamy, the would be murderer, knows that if the Ark's residents do land on earth, he will be hunted down and executed. His #1 objective is to keep that from happening. To further make things interesting, each has proven to be a master manipulator and has often used the situation to accomplish their own goals. Clarke makes Bellamy (and more importantly his gun) accompany her to rescue Jasper by playing on his fear of losing the crowd's respect. Bellamy takes sole credit for the food they all brought in order to get people to remove their wristbands and make the Ark think they've died. It will be interesting to see what happens when two diametrically opposed natural born leaders continue to clash. The best thing The 100 has working for it is the interplay of so many characters with different needs and the way they justify their actions - both on Earth and on the Ark.



Best Action - Once Upon a Time in Wonderland - Jafar vs. Amara magic fight

There were a lot of good action scenes this week. Teen Wolf took the fight to Narnia as Scott and Kira battled the Oni, while outside it was the pack in a fight for their lives. The Musketeers decided a convent would be more interesting and livened up the place with alcohol explosives, guns, swords, and even a beehive. Those nuns sure take home security seriously. However, even with my affinity for sword play, this week the award goes to the sorcerers. Sure the CGI was bad, but I've been missing a Harry Potter fix and this was balm to the wound. Besides, 4-headed snake, people! What really made the scene though was that for the first time, the match was evenly balanced. Amara was slightly more powerful, but Jafar got the win by being clever. He figured out Cyrus was Amara's son and used it to his advantage. Witty villain repartee, flying glass, a mother's love, and a "divine move" trump all the others. Plus, there was a little swordplay in between scenes.



Most Improved Character - The Blacklist - Tom

Let's face it. Tom was the most bland, uninteresting character in The Blacklist. Oh what a difference a couple of weeks make. While I never bought that he was actually attending all those conferences and heading out on job interviews in the middle of the school year, I did figure he was going to be a red herring in a show that loves to teast the audience. Instead he's a straight-up, stone cold killer, who is working for the same people as the guy who bugged their house. Last week he killed Jolene and the Cowboy with nary a blink. This week he coldcocked his wife and left her bleeding on the ground. Tom is not someone to mess with and I hope Liz realizes that too now that she knows. I have yet to figure out why anyone would want to go so deep undercover in Lizzie's life, but I can't wait for the reveal. I know it has something to do with Red and I hope they come up with an intriguing yet plausible story. Could Tom be part of the reason why Red decided to partner with the FBI at this particular juncture? I have no answers, but I do know that for the first time I am eager to have more Tom on my screen instead of less.



Nominated / New Shows:

Nominated Shows:

Arrow - 2.15 - The Promise

It appears that when I gave up Arrow to marathon over the summer instead, some people felt that I gave up on it too soon. Therefore it quickly became the most nominated show in the spreadsheet. Sooner or later it was bound to be chosen with the random number generator I use. I debated a lot over whether this should be considered eligible since technically I have already reviewed Arrow several times. In the end I decided that since it came up, not once but twice in the random number generator, to go ahead and review it but to have a second nominated episode as well. However, Arrow cannot be the nominated show again this season according to the rules of nomination.

As far as The Promise goes, I think making the decision to go on hiatus worked well for me. This episode is far better in the rewatch since I've had time to break from the elements of Arrow that really annoy me. It also helps that those elements were pretty much shunted off into a corner. There was little of Felicity and she was shown to be competent, which helped a lot. Plus the main focus was the brilliant scenes between Oliver and Slade. They did a great job playing off each other in both the past and the present. I love the added tension because Oliver couldn't say anything in front of his family, and then how he turned it around on Slade when Sarah, Diggle, and Roy showed up. Well played, Team Arrow! It was great to green light this Big Bad story line pace and even better to hold shipping to a minimum. This is an Arrow back on track from the muddle of made of itself from State vs. Queen on. I am now more looking forward to watching it this summer than I was last week.


Grade: B+
Ranking: 3

Best Scene - Team Arrow show up at the Queen mansion to confront Slade

Best Quote - Oliver: "I told you I'd come back." Anatoli: "Fantastic. We're saved."

Best Reason to Watch - Slade and Oliver interactions, both past and present

Best Snark / Best Character Return - Anatoli Knyazev

Worst Character Return - Oliver's Abs

Best Moment - Oliver tries to stab Slade but Slade disarms him and then Thea walks in / Slade grabs Oliver by the heel as he tries to jump overboard

Least Surprising - Slade used the house tour to get video surveillance on the Queen house

Biggest Awww Scene - Oliver makes Sarah promise if he dies, to tell Moira and Thea that he was a better person and Sarah makes Oliver promise to tell her family she died on the Gambit

Best Part of the Flashbacks - Oliver isn't perfect at his archery skills yet

The "Say What?" Award - Ivo, you murdered Shado. No question about it. The only thing Oliver should be suffering from is survivor's guilt. He did nothing wrong in this case.

The "You Tell Him, Momma" Award - While Oliver had every right to be upset that Slade was there, he has been a real douche to Moira. If she won't Gibbs head slap him, then telling him off here works just as well.



Psych - 6.02 - Last Night Gus

BWAH! This episode had me howling with laughter. I had seen bits and pieces of Psych over the years, but I never really kept up with it. It was on my perpetual hiatus list somewhere below Alias and above Robin Hood, always just below the radar. Now I'm more anxious than ever to marathon the show. In this episode the main guys wake up unaware of what happened the night before. They all have to work together to figure it out and who really killed two guys associated with them. It's a hilarious plot device that really works because it allows all the characters to be full of themselves and then slightly deflated. It also helps that Gus is spotlighted and from what I've seen, he and Lassiter are my favorite characters. In addition, this was my first time to enjoy Woody, whom I know better as the ultra douche angel Zachariah from Supernatural. Wow is this a completely different character. It actually took me a minute to catch up. Overall this episode was pure fun, a bit of silliness to brighten the day. Thanks to whomever nominated this because I have a new stress relief show for those long work nights.


Grade: A-
Ranking: 4

Best Scene - Gus repeats everything the murderer says and is super chill in the middle of the shootout before he knocks the guy out

Best Quote - Lassiter: "Oh dear Lord, please tell me this is a dream."

MVP - Lassiter

Funniest Moment - Gus freaks out about his car

The "Say What?" Award - How did someone miss a cell phone in the dead guy's pocket? That's beyond shoddy police work.

Best Use of Slo-Mo - The foursome's silent prowl into the bar like they own the world

Best References - Jon Cryer, Tom Wopat, Ed Lover, "It's hard out here for a pimp", and probably many more I was laughing too hard to catch




New Show:

Surviving Jack - 1.01 - Pilot

I am surprised by how much I laughed in this episode given that sexual humor doesn't really do anything for me. Still I liked this one enough to give it 3 episodes. Generally it will come down to whether the Jack character can manage to remain this sarcastic and still be relatable and caring. It's a tossup right now if that will happen. Surviving Jack follows the recent trend of family comedies based on the creator's real experiences with voiceovers from the adult version of the main kid. See The Goldbergs and Growing Up Fisher for other examples. In this case the story takes place in 1991, when the mother (Joanne) goes back to school to be a lawyer and the father (Jack) takes over most of the parenting duties to their 2 teenage children. It wants to be a more modern, snarkier version of Growing Pains, but the pilot has some rough spots as all pilots do. I would like to see them broaden the humor so not everything is built around sex and they definitely need to make sure Jack comes off as sympathetic. The show won't work if he isn't. I'd also like to see the daughter's role fleshed out, which the pilot really had no time to do. What the pilot did extremely well was snark and the soundtrack. This may be the best pilot soundtrack since Supernatural, featuring a variety of 80's and early 90's music trends. If anyone has the playlist, let me know because I have some more downloading to do. I haven't heard Violent Femmes in ages.

Grade: B-
Ranking: 3 (after the first 3 episodes)

Best Scene - Jack teaches Frankie to drive through extreme pressure

Best Quote - Jack: "I think everything everyone says is stupid. Tell me anyway."

Biggest Aww - Jack tells Frankie that no one can ever take the memory of your first kiss away

Funniest Scene - Jack pays a homeless guy to scare Frankie and his friends to keep them from stealing

Best Payback - Joanne gives Jack the spoilers on how Jurassic Park ends to punish him

MVP / Best Reason to Watch - the soundtrack. I'm not being facetious here. The soundtrack to this pilot was awesome. Violent Femmes, The Cure, and so much more. I'd download it on iTunes.

The "Say What?" Award - Frankie digs a hole in his yard to bury his stolen porn. I was never a teenage boy. Is this common? I thought it was all about the mattress.

The "Flag on that Play" Award - Joanne blames Jack because their daughter had a boy in her room. That is all on the daughter. She should have known the rules and followed them. No need to call out dad in front of the kids. Time for a united front. Not holding kids accountable for their own actions is why they have become entitled. Stand up. Be a parent. Your kids' teachers will thank you for it.

T-Shirt Fad I Completely Missed as a Teen - According to Surviving Jack and The Goldbergs, t-shirts that changed color when you touched them were all the rage when I was in high school. Who knew? I don't remember anyone wearing those.

Biggest Nostalgia - Ah, Christian Slater love. I remember that time. For all my friends it was Heathers. For me it was the "blink and you missed it" gem, Gleaming the Cube. Seriously, check it out. Or maybe not. My taste in high school was pretty bad.



Weekly Shows:


Resurrection - 1.03 - Two Rivers

The show is still short on plot and long on characters, but so far the characters make it worthwhile. Henry and Lucille are beautifully crafted characters played by pros in the nuances. Their scenes together are believable and heart aching. Still I wish we were working towards answers instead of just adding another resurrected person each week.

Grade: B

Best Scene - Henry and Lucille talk on the porch about their dead Jacob

Best Quote - Marty: "Okay, did anything good ever happen on this road?" Maggie: "Well as it turns out, when you die it's not an irreversible condition."

Best Character Interaction - Marty and Maggie

Best Reason to Watch - how the townspeople react to the revolving Resurrectee of the Week

Longest Slow Pan Ever - Jacob's coffin…twice, and we still didn't see anything

Best Shout Out - Mizzou vs. KU game and Mizzou is winning. Woo hoo! And apparently it's March Madness because that's not either of their stadiums.

Most Manipulative - Sheriff who acts like he's talking to the bartender but is really threatening the man who committed adultery with his wife

The "Oh Joy, It's Hollywood's Favorite Theme" Award - I am really tired of Hollywood portraying Christians as hypocrites every time they bring them up. As soon as I saw there was a preacher in this show, I knew it was going that route. It's predictable, boring, and now oppressive.

The "I Thought You Were a Cop" Award - While Marty gets kudos for at least not touching the evidence, he really should know to have Maggie call for backup when chasing a suspect.

Not the Most Bizarre Theory Yet - Ray thinks it's aliens. I'm good with that. For now.



Crisis - 1.02 - If You are Watching This I am Dead

Crisis remains the most intriguing March-debuting show this season. I have no idea what's going on but I like that there is both larger questions and some resolution. Giving the ambassador back his son was a great move and I am okay if it continues in a Kid of the Week format while laying the groundwork for the larger picture. I have to give it a few more weeks to be sure but right now Crisis makes my top 10 new shows list.

Grade: B+

Best Moment - Meg sits surrounded by millions of dollars and is so nonchalant about it

Best Quote - Ian: "It'd be pretty messed up if you were going to run away and ended up getting kidnapped."

Most Important Player - Francis Gibson

Best Character Interaction - still Anton and Finley, even if they only had one scene together

Best Man for the Job - Dr. Olsen, who stops playing politics and puts Riley and Dunn together

Best Scene - Anton calls out the FBI guy on bad facts

Least Improved Player - Susie Dunn

Most Annoying - Luke and Dunn



Blacklist - 1.17 - Ivan

The Blacklist was a brilliant twist marred by the most idiotic genius ever. I hope Red recruits him and then knocks some commonsense into him. Complicated romantic gesture? This was hormones on steroids. Despite the low-rent, teen stalker subtext, there was a lot that went right here. I like that we are coming to a head on Tom and the guy who played Real Ivan is a favorite. I loved him as Dmitry on Royal Pains. I should love the scene where Red holds Lizzie best, but everything is about Tom for me right now. Nothing intrigues me more.

Grade: B-

Best Scene - Tom acts concerned about Liz when she tells him about being attacked

Best Quote - Tom: "Don't beat yourself up. You could never have known this. You never really know people, do you?"

MVP - Tom, who has become the most interesting character

Best Plot Twist - The silly toy scene from the beginning was actually a key piece of the episode

The "Say What?" Award - What exactly kind of school does Tom work at that lets him jaunt off to conferences all the time? Thus far I see little evidence that he is indeed a teacher, unless his school takes winter off and works through the summer.

Villain Mistake #2 - Only secondary to the longwinded villain monologue is a villain tagging his or her own work. Come on, Ivan. Cocky means busted. Just ask Neal Caffrey or Curtis Hagan on White Collar.

Best Cat and Mouse - Lizzie and Tom dancing around in an elaborate game of hide-and-seek

The "You and Me Both Honey" Award - Lizzie: "Just once I'd like to hear the whole truth from you."

The Scariest - Our government's most secret cyber weapon was stolen by a teen as a byproduct of his stalking tendencies. Yeah, that sounds really secure.

The Harry Potter-like Award - NotIvan uses the skeleton key like an Deluminator.



Star-Crossed - 1.06 - Stabbed with a White Wench's Black Eye

Whenever the love triangles take over the sociopolitical climate of Star-Crossed, the episode suffers. This is one of those cases. While there was plenty of intrigue and character growth, they kept stopping the story for more teen emoangsting and well "star-crossed" romance. It's tiresome and at this point leads to nonsensical storytelling. Why didn't Emery give Roman a heads-up that there was a Cyper leak? Shouldn't that be the first step? Why would a journalist store his video in only one place? Does the cloud not exist anymore? The logic of this episode was fairly non-existent and it bugs me to no end. On the plus side though, Grayson and Drake saved the hour. Both of them are caught up in circumstances beyond their control and both had powerful choices to make. I am still slightly suspicious of Grayson, but he has really grown on me. Drake has always been fascinating as an Atrian who wants so much for things to be different but who cannot fully support either side's solutions. In the end, Emery is still the weakest link of Star-Crossed. Scenes are better when she's not in them. That's a big millstone to overcome. Also, every episode needs some Teri. Just saying.

Grade: C

Best Scene - Drake and Roman vs. Zoe

Best Quote - Drake: "We should kill her. If we don't, she could tell the Trags and they'll come after both of us." Roman: "We can't do this." Drake: "Yeah maybe you can't. I'm a warrior." Roman: "Warriors protect Atrian lives. Whether we like it or not, she's one of us."

Most Missed - Teri. I really wanted some snark between Taylor and her.

MVP - Grayson / Drake

Best Character Interaction - Drake and Roman

Best Reason to Fast Forward - anytime Emery and Roman are together or either of them are talking about the other

Best Cold Open - Zoe stops some Red Hawks from blowing up the sector

The "Well Duh" Award - Talking about top secret things out in the open came back to haunt you. Really? What a surprise! Perhaps you should start calling Cyper "Czechoslovakia."

Biggest Plot Hole Plan - What kind of journalist would not back up his video to several places to ensure something like this wouldn't happen? Surely 10 years from now we'll still have technology crashes…and the cloud.

Best Future Spy - Jules, she can talk info out of the dumbest people on the planet Sounds like spy work to me. Well, according to Michael Westen.

Best Diss - Taylor looks like she's going to talk to Drake but veers off for the waiter at the last minute



Teen Wolf - 3.24 - The Divine Move (season finale)

Grade: A-

Best Scene - DarkStiles stalks Lydia and Stiles down the hallway and rants about how they cannot kill him

Best Quote - Danny: "Dude, it's Beacon Hills." Talk about 4 words that sum up the entire show.

MVP - DarkStiles

The "Are You Kidding Me?" Award - The Oni are killed by silver and the nogitsune didn't know that? I thought he was over 1,000 years old. Shouldn't he have
been pursuing his enemy's weaknesses?

Best Moment - Melissa holds a crying Scott

Best Action - the fight scene in Narnia / fighting the Oni outside the school

Biggest Douche - DoucheDad who wants Melissa to tell Scott he bailed and then plans to send a follow-up e-mail…to his SON. Argh!

Wicked Mad Ninja Skills - the Oni who deflected every bullet Parrish shot with his sword

Most Simpatico - Lydia and Stiles both feel time is running out as the Oni take out the police station and the hospital

Best Song-to-Scene - Bad Moon Rising during the hospital slaughter

Best Reason to Watch - the pack works together to take down the Big Bad

Biggest Shock - Danny knows about werewolves

Worst Surprise - Kate Argent is back

Most Nerve-racking Moment - Stiles falls unconscious / Melissa's bloody teeth

Best Continuity - Pan in on the Wanted poster



The Musketeers - 1.09 - Knight Takes Queen

I'm tired of adultery as a way of life on The Musketeers. It alone dropped my grade a letter. I'm losing respect for characters right and left these days. Soon I'm going to have to root for barkeep #12. How hard is it to keep it in your pants? I did however like the nuns joining the battle and the fact that they are wrapping up the Cardinal's storyline. I do think it is very much out-of-character for the Cardinal to be so stupid. One of the reasons why he made a good villain is because he was so clever. Without that, he's just a moustache-twirler.

Grade: C+

Best Allies/Scene - the nuns who take out several mercenaries themselves, including 3 by beehive

Best Quote - Athos: "If it's any consolation Mother Superior is next door praying for our immortal souls." Aramis: "Right now it's my mortal body I'm worried about."

Best Action - castle fight

MVP - Mother Superior

Best Character Interaction - Athos and Gallagher

Best Reason to Fast Forward - Aramis and the Queen

Biggest Misstep - The Cardinal takes the king's drunk ramblings as a plan. I'm surprised at you Cardinal.

Best Reason to Have Servants - never having to eat the Queen's cooking

The "Say What?" Award - Why would Gallagher give the promissory note to a minion instead of keeping payment on himself at all time? World's worst criminal.

Biggest Question - Will the Cardinal be killed or exiled so he can go play Doctor Who?



Growing Up Fisher - 1.05 - Work with Me

Joyce may be the most obnoxious, oblivious person on TV, including any animated character and fans that make the Jumbotron at sporting events. She does manage not say or do anything inappropriate with her children in this episode but that's the only plus. She's way too over-the-top as a character and they need to tone her down. I find I like Growing Up Fisher in direct proportion to how much I can tolerate Joyce and in this one, it wasn't very much. In fact, she got twice as bad in the rewatch. I find myself feeling sorry that this family has had to put up with her for so long, even though Mel can be a condescending schmuck too. As always, the kids make this show. I want to really like Growing Up Fisher, but the parents keep getting in the way.

Grade: D+

Best Scene - Janice and Joyce bond over making fun of Mel

Best Quote - Katie: "Go be you."

Best Character Interaction - Henry and Katie

Most Obnoxious - Joyce. It's hard to believe anyone on the planet could be as clueless as she is.

The "Say What?" Award - I've never heard anyone ask for directions of a random stranger in the mall, much less a group of people. Does this mall not have a directory? Or regular customers?

Biggest Stalker - Henry. If I were Jenny, I would be scared.

Scene Stealer - Runyen, every time

Best Moment - Katie tells Henry to do things his way

Sweetest Moment - Jenny leaves Henry orange soda



The 100 - 1.02 - Earth Skills

The 100 was actually better in this episode than the pilot. The characters were less annoying, especially Octavia, and the conflict deepened. I find the stand-off between Bellamy and Clarke riveting. Both actors are doing a great job. The real work is going to be to keep them from falling into patterned clichés, cardstock good vs. bad characters. So far they have done an excellent job of fleshing out Bellamy, but they need to do the same for Murphy. If I am going to have Thug #1 on my screen each week, they have to give me some hook into his character. Floating his dad doesn't cut it because that seems to be a fairly normal occurrence for the 100. Given the improvement in Atom and Octavia, I have hope that while I will probably continue to root for Murphy's death, I won't be irked every time he appears on my screen which is the case now. As for the Ark, the best thing that happened was the introduction of Raven. She is already intriguing and I think her scenes with Abby were fantastic. I look forward to seeing more of them. Kane also is growing on me because while I can hate his methods, he does make a good point. I would hate to be the Chancellor. He's stuck between two very different ideals with no way to know which will ultimately gain the best results. All in all, this episode of The 100 made me even more curious to see what will happen next.

Grade: B

Best Scene - Wells tries to keep Murphy from hurting a kid, Bellamy challenges him to fight over it, and Wells wins

Best Quote - Murphy: "Whoa, wait, wait, wait. What? You think you play by different rules?" Finn: "I thought there were no rules."

Best Moment - The Grounder who watches them eat from the trees

Future MVP - Monty, who has the best chance of actually being helpful to them all. It also means he has the highest chance of Bellamy killing him.

Best Manipulator - Bellamy, who is miles more advanced at this than Kane

Best Stand-Off - The Chancellor and Kane

Best Speech - Bellamy. He sucks but he is definitely persuasive.

Best Leader - Clarke. She tells Monty to stay behind because he is too important to the 100. It was a tough call but the smart one. She also manipulated Bellamy to find Jasper, showing she has a better grip on how to handle him than Wells, and guilts Finn into going too. She definitely knows how to get what she needs.

Best New Addition - Raven

Most Insightful - Atom, who reminds Octavia that she had her brother even when everything else sucked



Wonderland - 1.12 - To Catch a Thief

In all honesty I expected this to be my least favorite episode of them all. The prospect of making it through an episode without the Red Queen or Will snark to alleviate the drippiness made me shudder. Imagine my surprise then when we got Will snark in spades due to the flashbacks. They rode me through the lesser scenes as did the Jabberwocky, a character I now find interesting. I still think this show would have been better with less Alice and Cyrus, but I'm glad I've stuck with it until now.


Grade: B

Best Scene - Will tells Alice that hers isn't the only story worth fighting for

Best Quote - Knave: "Watch your tongue lass, or else you'll lose that as well as your head." Alice: "That's a little redundant, don't you think?" Knave: "Depends on which one you lose first."

Best Character Interaction - Knave and Alice

Best Reason to Watch - Knave flashbacks starring…..Snark! My favorite player.

Worst Sounding Plan - Let Jafar win

Best Humor - Will can't figure out which way he wants to go

Most Improved Character - The Jabberwocky is finally interesting

Best Twist - The Jabberwocky allies with Alice and crew

Best Back Story - Will's tale of his dead sister explains a little more about why he's been willing to do so much for Alice

Least Surprising - Amara ends up casting the spell with Jafar in order to save her son's life



Enlisted - 1.09 - Paint Cart 5000 vs. the Mondo Spider

Come on people. This is the last episode I get to see of Enlisted for awhile. How disappointing! This show has done a great job of showing heart and laughs. The episode was half poo jokes. Not worthy of Enlisted at all. The only redeeming part was Derrick and Cody and even part of that was cringe worthy. I'm going to have to go back and watch Homecoming to get the stench of this episode off of me.

Grade: C-

Best Scene - Cody gives Derrick career advice

Best Quote - Cody: "I need a photographer who's going to tell me the truth." Derrick: "I don't want to be here." Cody: "The job is yours."

Best Character Interaction - Derrick and Cody

Best Manipulator - Randy plays the little brother card

Best Reason to Fast Forward - the entire poo storyline, so a good portion of the episode



Helix - 1.13 - Dans L'Ombre (season finale)

Helix just isn't the same without Daniel. I miss the complicated relationship between Hatake and him already. However, this episode had some great plot twists, like Peter working for Ilaria, and I think the big time jump is needed if they are going to have an engrossing season 2. Alan appears to have changed and that can only be a good thing. They are now in France though, so that means my current favorite character, Anana, may not have a place in the story now though. Overall Hatake was still the best thing about the episode, although he is a complete douche for suggesting that adopted kids are less important than biological kids. What the heck, Helix? You all suck! All kids are equally important! Urgh! It's one more mark against me watching your season 2. The other part is that all the uber-annoying characters are still alive. Alan, Sarah, and Peter get a pass, while Doreen, Daniel, Constance, and even Julia's mother die? Why? Are you trying to kill your own show?

Grade: B-

Best Scene - The Inuit come back to get the scientists out

Best Quote - Scythe: "What is this? Good scientist, bad scientist."

Best Character Interaction - Anana and Tulok

MVP - Hatake, even if he is a douche

Biggest Douche - Hatake admits he prefers Julia over Daniel because Julia is his flesh and blood. Way to prove what a douche you are, Hatake. No child is more important than the other.

Biggest Twist - Peter is working for Ilaria

Best Character Growth - Sergio comes back to get the list of kidnapped Inuit children and where they are

Biggest Awww Scene - Hatake and Jane reunite

The "Oh Great, Helix is Now a Soap Opera" Award - Sarah is pregnant with Alan's baby

Best Plan - Skipping forward over 200 days for season 2







Screencaps by Digital Spy, Pinterest, Hollywood Reporter, SpoilerTV, Zap2It, Sidereel, TV Addict, TV.com, Mary Sue, Warez LTD, So I Pondered, TVline, Den of Geek, Seat 42F, and NBC.

Either my hectic work week left me grumpier than usual or TV as a whole had an off-week, resulting in several lower grades than usual. There were definitely high points with Grimm starting to get back on track, Trophy Wife toning down the wacky, and Surviving Jack delivering a genuinely funny 20 minutes of TV, something few comedies do these days. Still, a lot of TV kind of sucked, especially things I watched later in the week. Here's hoping for a much better experience this week. As always I will start with the nominated show, so if you have something you think I should try, please nominate it in the form at the end. It only takes a minute to put in the show and episode, which you can leave blank if there isn't a specific episode you think I should watch. So until next week, happy TV viewing!


Overall Awards:

Best Episode - Surviving Jack - 1.02 - Gonna Make You Sweat

Surviving Jack was by far the best comedy of the week for me. Straying away from sex jokes, which filled the pilot, was a great idea. This episode focused on the time honored father-son topic of baseball but added heart by exploring how much effort a relationship is worth whether marital, friend, or boyfriend. No lie, Jack may be the most over the top character on TV right now and he does stuff that no sane person would ever do. However the amount he cares shines through as each episode progresses. In a way he is like Murray from The Goldbergs, but in a complete opposite way. While Murray is more hands-off and lazy, Jack is a control freak with serious boundary issues. They are both stumbling at being dads in the only way they know how and they both exude heart right at the right moment. It's another example of laugh out loud humor with aww moments, a bulls-eye in my comedy zone. It also helped that I laughed more in this episode than in anything else on TV this week. I'm still not sure of where exactly Surviving Jack is going since I didn't care for the pilot and they still need to flesh out Rachel, but if this episode is any indication of what this cast and crew can do, then count me on board. Kudos all around.


Best Return / Best Quote - Grimm - 3.17 - Synchronicity - Mama Grimm

Sometimes a character has such a dynamic presence on a show that even if they are only in a handful of episodes, they are instantly memorable. The mere mention of them can make an episode better. In Grimm, that character is Kelly Burkhardt, aka Mama Grimm. I have been waiting for her return from the second she left last time and all those e-mail/Google mentions of her throughout this season only whetted my appetite to see her actually on screen. A complex character, she can best be summed up in last week's best TV quote - Mama Grimm: "I don't trust anybody I'm not close enough to kill." Ha! Then there's the moment when she forgot she killed Adalind's mother after bringing Adalind and her baby to Nick's place. She has a shoot first, don't bother with questions attitude that admittedly would grate if she were a regular, but in small doses adds humor and always complicates Nick's life. As soon as I learned she was returning I knew things would get messy and she did not disappoint. Taking Adalind, who poisoned Juliette and put her in a coma, to Nick and Juliette's house made for one heck of an intense scene and one of my favorite TV moments of the week. Here's hoping Mama Grimm sticks around for awhile to keep the chaos coming.



Nominated/New Shows:

Nominated Show -

The Mentalist - 6.11 - White Lines

A few summers back, I watched all of season one of The Mentalist because people were raving about it and my OCD was stronger back then. It wouldn't let me quit mid-season. However, I did not continue on to season 2 because I utterly loathed Patrick Jane. He was the Doctor House of crime procedurals. Sadly he is just as big of a douche in this season 6 episode as he was in season 1, maybe more so. For me, The Mentalist is a great concept ruined by a complete prick of a character. I cannot watch a show if I constantly want the main character to die. Painfully. From what I gather in this episode, he also committed cold-blooded murder and through a HUGE plot device, he is now accepted back into the flock and still ordering everybody around because he's the most important person in the universe. Argh! There's enough douches in real life to put up with one on TV. Other than the Jane issue, this episode was interesting. I like that Blonde was el jefe and that she wasn't afraid to get her hands dirty. I do wish she hadn't been so overly confident though. All TV criminals need to learn to shoot first, monologue after. They would have a much higher success rate that way. I also liked seeing Gordon from Supernatural and Joey Potter's dad guest starring and thought the supporting cast was great. If they ever did a Jane-less spin-off, I would definitely check it out.

Grade: D- (but considerably better if you take out Jane)
Ranking: 1

Best Scene - Blonde takes out her rival's bodyguard and keeps on snarking

Best Quote - Fischer: "Maybe you'll learn your lesson." Jane: "What lesson is that?" Fischer: "If you'd actually told us about your plan in advance, we'd have had time to get here." Lisbon: "I've been trying to tell him that for years." Jane: "Oh Cho, you're with me, aren't you?" Cho: "No, I'm with them. You're a terrible communicator. You're just lucky we found the right boat."

Worst Criminals - The cold open gang take off their masks in a building known to have secret cameras. You deserve to be caught. / Old Male Criminal doesn't use gloves when he's shutting the door, etc.

Best Twist (that I totally called during her first scene) - Blonde was the ringleader

Best Plan - Tracking the car's audio footprint

Worst Plan - calling in the police tip yourself, Blonde El Jefe. You are way too overconfident. It'll be your downfall.

Most Inappropriate - Jane makes date plans while standing over 5 dead bodies

Greatest Turn-Off - Lisbon and Fischer tell the guys they are cops and it gets them to leave them alone

Biggest Question - Since when did Cho become everyone's boss? Last I saw he was reporting to Lisbon.

The "Oh Screw You" Award - Jane throws a little baby fit about a couch and gets his way. That's what's wrong with the world today.



New Show -

Friends with Better Lives - 1.01 - Pilot

Friends with Better Lives is way too raunchy for me, since the entire thing revolves around the characters' sex lives, but the characters are interesting if a bit too stock. I do love that Majandra Delfino is back on TV, since she was one of my favorite characters on Roswell and in my opinion the most talented. However, even the return of Maria won't make me watch this show. I wish it all the best but I prefer my comedies with a little more heart and a little less…well, head.

Grade: D
Ranking: 2

Best Scene - Will tells Andi and Bobby that he is jealous of their marriage even if they think they are in a rut

Best Quote - Will: "And Kate, ever the cynic, said that marriage is a b**." Kate: "No, I said you married a b**."

Best Character Interaction - Will and Kate and height puns

Best Reason to Watch - Majandra Delfino, who played Maria on Roswell, and James Van Der Beek, of Dawson's Creek and that other show that got cancelled last year, are in it. It's a WB reunion. Watch so they don't disappear from our TV screens again?

Funniest - It sounds like they are talking about sex, but really Andi and Bobby are talking about a Homeland marathon

Smartest Move - Everyone else leaves when Will brings up Kate's age

Most Relatable - Bobby and Andi, who are stumped when asked about themselves

Way Too Good to be True - Lowell. I'd actually be having a cop friend check him out to see if he was a con artist. I've learned from Neal Caffrey.

The "Oops" Award - Both Bobby and Andi forgot their anniversary

Best Reaction - everyone side eyes Lowell after his Plant a Tree song



Weekly Shows:

Crisis - 1.03 - What was Done to You

Crisis was just as intense this week with the White House Chief of Staff and a car dealership owner as the Ransomees of the Week. However, it lost a bit of its bite for two reasons. One, there was very little about the kids this week, which usually would make me happy. However, in this case how the kids are dealing with the situation is part of what makes the stakes feel more real. The second is more frustrating. Crisis is in danger of falling into The Following/Deception levels of stupidity. If the Feds can never make real strides against an overly genius, infallible villain, a show gets tiresome fast. Crisis has been walking that tightrope fairly well, yet still the FBI know nothing. They arrive a smidgeon too late, the guy miraculously gets away, or the only source of info dies. That will only work for so long and I got hit badly by this tactic last year, so consider me gun shy. The saving grace so far for Crisis is that the villain has had to backtrack and work off the cuff as well, so at least the FBI are making life harder for him instead of those idiots of The Following.

Grade: B

Best Scene - Francis convinces the General to kill himself

Best Quote - President: "Then there's something both of you should know. I took an oath to defend this country. If the kidnappers ask me to betray that oath to save my son's life, I won't do it. I can't. I will have to let my son die. You work for those kidnapped kids. You find them before I have to make that choice."

Best Character Interaction - the kidnapped trio, trying to figure out how active to be in their kidnapping

Most Intense Scene - General Osborne being tortured. It was equally intense with all 3 men and a real contender for best scene. I like how we could see through their facial expressions just how much those to fathers did not want to be there.

Best Distraction - smoke bombs at the vigil to get the White House Chief of Staff clear

Best Power - FBI Director Olsen is able to make all traffic lights red

The "Congrats, You are Finally Not Useless" Award - Luke, the obnoxious, figures out that they are still in America by the outlets used.

Best Instincts - Finley, who figures out that the kidnappers were using the President's hotel room

Best Guest Star - Frederic Lehne as General Osborne. So good to see Azazel from Supernatural on my screen again.

The "Are You Kidding Me?" Award - Why don't they shoot the General in a non-essential body part instead of letting him kill himself? These two have been declared excellent marksmen numerous time already in this episode alone. Shoot him in the shoulder and he'd have to drop the gun.



Resurrection - 1.04 - Us Against the World

While Resurrection is still drip drop slow when it comes to revealing any real answers, the armed car robbery side plot was interesting and the character interactions remain superb. Well except for everything with Rachel. She's the most annoying resurrectee so far. I did feel incredibly bad for Elaine though, who just wanted to trust her dad but he screwed her over again. She deserves some peace. However it was Caleb who was the most interesting tonight. What did he mean by it was just beginning? Does he know more than the others about what is really happening? Do the others know too and are just better at hiding it? Each of the resurrectees are master manipulators, which makes me suspicious. Speaking of, I am surprised they didn't introduce a new resurrrectee at the end of the episode. They broke pattern. I wonder if this means they will stop popping up so frequently or if they are waiting for the new reveal at the beginning of the next episode.

Grade: B

Best Scene - Elaine breaks down with Maggie

Best Aww Moment - Henry takes care of Lucille when she falls asleep reading. That's the kind of romance scene I want to see, not this adultery junk.

Best Quote - Henry: "From the start you accepted that child as our Jacob. What if he's not the same?"

Best Confirmation - the resurrected are connected to each other beyond just coming back from the dead

Best Character Interaction - Sheriff and Bellamy

Best Reason to Fast Forward - Tom and Rachel's soon-to-be adultery saga

The "Oh Poor Baby" Award - Elaine, who trusts her dad all over again right before he screws her over

The "Oh Boo Hoo You Annoying Wench" Award - Rachel dares to say that she feels like she's being punished when she put everyone who loved her through the ringer. I'm looking forward to you going. Hopefully quickly.

Biggest Surprise - Rachel killed herself

The "Hmm, Not Sure That Will Work" Award - Lucille tells Henry to get Jacob's seizure medicine. Either a doctor prescribed him medicine without knowing he had a condition or that medicine is over 30 years old. Both scenarios lead to a big hmmm.

Hardest News to Break - Hey honey, my dead, suicidal ex-girlfriend is back and she wants to get back together. Yeah, that's not going to go over well.

Most Interesting Directing Choice - combine the armored car robbery of the past and current so they segue together. At first I didn't realize we were back in the present.



Star-Crossed - 1.07 - To Seek a Foe

So I'm just going to pretend that Emery doesn't exist on this show. I'm going to mentally fast forward Roman and Emery scenes in my mind. Then Star-Crossed becomes one of my very favorite midseason shows. The characters and interactions (aside from the aforementioned) have gotten better every episode. The mystery keeps getting bigger. Now if they would only stop cramming dumb plot devices, like Grayson overseeing Emery kissing Roman, in every single freaking episode. It's not worthy of otherwise good plot material. Star-Crossed is too smart to cater to the lowest denominator. I know we're not getting a season 2, so how about we dump the whole "star-crossed" plot and get to the amazing side characters. They are what make the show.

Grade: B- (B+ without Emery and plot devices)

Best Quote - Drake: "Hey Zoe, you know what your problem is? You talk too damn much!"

Best Reason to Watch - Drake

The "You Don't Have Time for This" Award - Seriously folks, the Black Cyper is going to pop at any minute. Roman and Emery, we don't have time for your romance schmoopiness. Time to save the human race and jump start this episode again from your momentum killing drippiness.

Funniest - Taylor and her major overreaction to her scratchy lungs

The "Shut Up, Emery" Countdown - Since I inevitably shout, "Shut Up, Emery" at least once per episode I've decided to make it a weekly feature. This time she made it a whole 17 minutes. I'm not sure but that might be a record.

Best Action - Zoe vs. Roman and then Drake

Most Suspicious - Sorry Gloria, your banner has now been taken by Sneaky Science Teacher

The Audrey Award - Are we sure Black Cyper didn’t appear in the 80's to torment Rick Moranis?

Most Heartwarming - Lukas' mom greets Sofia so sweetly. It is refreshing to see on a series that often highlights human-Atrian hatred.

The "Did We Learn Nothing from the Last Time?" Award - There they go discussing Cyper in public places again. That's what got them into this mess in the first place. Loose lips, people.

The "Oops" Award - Drake gets himself impaled on Zoe's wall when he trips an alarm



Blacklist - 1.18 - Milton Bobbit

I am giving you notice The Blacklist. If you keep digressing instead of giving answers about how Red and Elizabeth are connected, I am going to put you on involuntary hiatus again. Other than that, this episode was pretty good. I like this new Elizabeth, determined to get answers, while the criminal of the week was interesting. Mostly though, the music was spectacular - very well done in the song-to-scene category. The Blacklist always excels at music, but this week was even better than usual.

Grade: B, because we got zero answers on how Red and Liz are connected

Best Scene - Ressler confronts Milton at the cemetery

Best Quote - Craig: "You have no idea who you're dealing with." Elizabeth: "I never did like you."

Best Action - Elizabeth takes down Craig

Most Frustrating - Red gives Elizabeth ZERO answers about Tom and how she is connected to Red

Grossest - Milton Bobbit removes his nose

Biggest Shock - Red and Dembe love the 3 Stooges

The "Hope the Maid is Coming Today" Award - Elizabeth makes a huge mess of the house, breaking dishes and everything. I wonder how she is going to explain that to Tom the Spy

Best Double Talk - Elizabeth's wedding renewal vow speech is actually all about taking her husband down

Best Music - Who are You, Really? By Mikky Ekko. This song has been played in a wide variety of shows from Teen Wolf to Ringer to True Blood but it works exceptionally well here.

Best Toss-Off - Dembe asks about paint colors

Least Popular - No one ever seems glad to see Red, including tonight's expert, Svedka, given that Red slept with his wife.



Growing Up Fisher - 1.06 - Drug / Bust

And the moral of this story is never let the blind guy bring the birthday boy to his surprise party. Or maybe it is that you don't have to experience everything yourself to be able to relate to someone. Well, that should have been the moral. As a teacher I have a hard time with parents and especially a principal using relating better to students as an excuse to try pot. However, this episode did have some fabulous scenes in it. I particularly liked Mel comforting Henry's fears and Joyce taking care of Mel while he was high. Katie and Mel's scenes were pretty good as well. In the end, Joyce was much more toned down and Mel was taken down a notch, which helped both characters tremendously. Plus the police and Mel scene is possibly the most unforgettable scene of the series so far.

Grade: B-

Best Scene - Mel tells Henry he is not going to go blind and then comforts him

Best Quote - Katie: "Hi." Mel: "Are you?"

Funniest Scene - the police refuse to arrest Mel for pot since he's blind

Best Aww Scene - Joyce takes care of Mel while he's high

Best Plan - Speak and Sneak

Most Embarrassing - Henry shows up to his birthday party in only his underwear

Most Inappropriate - Surprisingly it is not Joyce this week. Tonight goes all to Principal Sloan, who says he does marijuana because he needs to know where the students at his school are coming from. Say what? I call for a new principal and perhaps an intervention. I can relate to my students without having to do things illegally.

Best Continuity - Principal Sloane, who was so interested in the new apartment building in the pilot, moves in during this episode.



SHIELD - 1.16 - End of the Beginning

I like SHIELD more than I ever expected to, given that I don't generally care for superheroes or comic books. I also like Joss Whedon, but his predilection for the young ingénue heroine is wearing very thin these days. Skye keeps being lauded by everyone for everything so much so that it is increasingly hard to like her. Garett's non-stop praise shower is the final straw. Skye has in fact become the Mary Sue now. Stop pushing Skye down our throats, Joss. You'll have a better chance of accomplishing your continuous ingénue mission. Pushing a freaking shipper storyline between Ward and Skye is even more irksome. There's enough going on in this world to refrain. Basically, Garett and Triplett are the saving graces of this show. I look forward to a time when they are regular characters, or even a spin-off with them. They are far too awesome of characters to be sidelined in the Skye and Coulson Show. In fact, all of these characters are.

Grade: C+

Best Scene - Coulson confronts May, accusing her of working with the Clairvoyant

Worst Scene - Skye and Ward's cell chat

Best Quote - Triplett: "Sounds more psycho than psychic." / Hand: "Bet the Clairvoyant didn't see that coming."

Best Reason to Watch - Garett snark and Clairvoyant answers…maybe. I'm still not convinced that we haven't been red herring duped.

Best Return - Garett and Triplett. I hope they become regulars next season.

The "Most Dramatic Exit" Award - Mike, who flies out of the roof after getting electrocuted by Garett and Triplett

Best Moment - May and Ward share a look when Coulson mentions the Asgardian mind manipulation from the previous episode

Best Tech - Mike's new shooting arm

Biggest Shock - Ward kills Nash

Least Shocking - Nash is not the Clairvoyant



Goldbergs - 1.19 - The President's Fitness Test

I hated gym in middle school, so the Presidential Fitness Test was the bane of my existence along with most kids I knew. There was always one component that tripped you up. Sadly for Adam, it is the pull up. Even worse, he complains to his mommy, who becomes an obnoxious douche, trying to get Adam out of it. So much so that I detested her throughout the entire episode. It is also killed any enjoyment I might have had in this episode. It didn't help that I thought the French exchange student subplot was juvenile and unfunny as well. The one big saving grace of the episode was Murray. His interactions with Adam were superb and he was the voice of reason throughout. Pops was pretty spectacular as well.

Grade: D

Best Scene - Kyle, the comptroller's assistant sends Beverly to the state assembly office to dump her on the guy who screwed over his sister. Now there's a real politician. He should run for office.

Best Line - Barry: "We'll always have Pop Tarts."

Biggest Aww Moment - Erica relents and make it up to Barry by telling him that Fanny really liked him. Pops corroborates her story.

Worst Parenting Ever - Generally I can take Beverly's usual way over the top behavior, but this just irked me to no end. I have to deal with moddlecollying parents every week who demand that their child get special treatment and consideration for the sheer reason of being them. It's sickening and highly detrimental to the kids they think they are helping. For goodness sakes people, let your kids suffer the consequences of their actions and make them do what is expected. Is your momma really going to give your boss an excuse for why you should be allowed to turn in your project late? Gah! Parents are ruining the kids of today. I didn't see near as much of that in the 80's when you were expected to suck it up and finish up the entire season even if you hated the sport. If you got in trouble at school, you got in trouble at home instead of your parents trying to get the teacher in trouble for not understanding how super special you are and how you cannot possibly be expected to think that the same rules apply to you as everyone else. And yes, in the 80's you were expected to participate in gym, even the Presidential Fitness Test, despite how athletic or non-athletic you were. I guess Beverly was ahead of her time in suckage.

Best Character Interaction - Murray and Adam

Best Nostalgia - Barry is waved in by airport security with a pocket knife. Back in the 80's you could pack a toy bomb in your suitcase and no one cared. I know. My parents did it.

Best Character Addition - Coach Miller, who is so gung ho about preparing his students for a Russian attack

Worst Line Ever - Beverly: "Say no more. Mama will never ever let anything remotely uncomfortable happen to you. I'll just write you a note and get you out of it." Murray: "Absolutely not. Every kid in America has to take that test." Beverly: "Well what does that have to do with my Adam?"

Best Moment - Adam teaches Murray how to swim

The "You've Know You've Seen Too Many Romantic Comedies When…" Award - …you race to an airport to tell the girl of your dreams how you feel and actually expect the power of love to keep you from getting your illegally parked car towed.




Trophy Wife - 1.18 - Couples Therapy

This was Trophy Wife more toned down and back to its former glory. For awhile now, Trophy Wife has been mistaking wackiness for funny, but they aren't necessarily the same thing. In this episode they were more balanced. I adored Diane and Jackie working together and especially the scene at the very end. It's not usual that they are simpatico with each other and I enjoyed the little bonding moment. While I can't recall Pete ever being a huge avoider of conflict before, given that he's espoused a few hard truths in earlier episodes, it does explain his previous marriages a bit more. Mostly though it made for a good character developing episode.

Grade: B+

Best Scene - Hillary consoles Warren's broken heart by mentioning the huge age difference between him and Meg

Best Quote - Diane: "Umhh, delicious. What am I tasting?" Pete: "I don't know. You'll have to ask Kate." Diane: "Definitely cumin, molasses, dark chocolate, and lies."

Best Character Interaction - Diane and Jackie

Best Reaction - Meg thinks Kate's stories about suburban life are sleep-inducing

Worst Fashion Plan - Crocs, anywhere.

Most Enterprising - Meg turns Hillary's experiment around and gets exactly what she wants

Most Likely to be Fired - Snarky tennis guy. Sure I loved him but rich old guys are his bread and butter. Insulting them may not be the best game plan.

Worst Hiding Place - on a tennis court with chain link fencing. You're just screwed, Pete and Kate.

Best Wallowing - Warren rocks his broken heart out to Up Where We Belong by Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes

Best Moment - when Diane says, "Busted!" in the ending credits

The 100 - 1.03 - Earth Kills

The 100 continues to offer some of the most powerful character interactions in a midseason show. In this one, the one that really resonated was Bellamy with Charlotte, the psycho kid. It was fascinating to see him soften towards her. I felt like he was trying to be her big brother and protector in a way that Octavia no longer will allow him to be, almost a glimpse into how he might have been with her long ago. By reaching out to help Charlotte conquer her fears, they added additional depth to Bellamy which will be needed as he continues to play the antagonist. It was also interesting to see him react to Clarke mercy killing Atom. I doubt his concessions will last long but I love how he ordered his gang to help Clarke cure Jasper as a way to show his gratitude. All in all, Bellamy is one of the few well-rounded "villains" on TV today. Yes, CW scoffers, it's true. The downside of the episode though is that it killed 2 of the people I actually wanted to see more of. Most of the 100 are scenery fillers and the ones we do know, I tend to not like. Atom's story could have been fascinating because I could see him breaking from Bellamy if the orders were too severe. Sadly, that will never happen. Wells is an even bigger loss because he is often the common sense and heart of the show. To kill him off now is particularly cruel because it would have been nice to have at least a few weeks of Clarke and him being friends again. Mostly this is just role reversal of a hideous plot device in which a favorite character dies to bring emotional hardship to the main character. It's irksome no matter the gender. If Monty goes, I'm rioting.

Grade: B- (because they killed off 2 of the best characters)

Best Scene - Bellamy tells Charlotte to stand up to her fears

Best Quote - Wells: "I knew how you would feel. I wanted to…" Clarke: "To protect me. So you let me hate you." Wells: "What are friends for?"

Biggest Shock - the psycho kid kills Wells

Most Intense - Clarke kills Atom when Bellamy can't do it

The "There's Definitely More to the Story" Award - No way they send a kid to prison for freaking out when her parents are executed. Sounds like retribution on her parents to me.

Brattiest - Clarke, whose hatred of Wells and instance that they continue even when it could kill them, went too far on the laser-focused mission side

MVP - Wells

Best Character Interaction - Bellamy and Charlotte, the psycho kid

The "Screw You" Award - the writers for killing off 2 of the few characters I actually like on this show in one episode

The Musketeers - 1.10 - Musketeers Don't Die Easily (season finale)

I am going to be the sole dissenter of The Musketeers fans, but I truly dislike this episode. Perhaps it's that I come into a season finale with high expectations. Perhaps it's the absolute horror that is the Constance and D'Artagnan plot line. I can't stand either of them now. Great plan, writers! Or maybe it's the equally horrific and yet perfectly expected daytime soap opera of the Queen having Aramis' baby. Argh! Did Maury Povitch exist in France back then? Or perhaps my dislike stems from the golden opportunity they had to explore the Musketeer saga without Cardinal Richelieu and truly make it their own, which they shot all to hell. Perhaps it was the fact that all the formerly smart villains turned into morons. This is the only episode of The Musketeers I actively wanted to end. In fact I resent everything about the last 15 minutes! Sadly, I can sum it all up like Aramis and company. So at the end of it all, what do I have? No characters I adore. No plot line that excites me. No cliffhanger to assure I tune in next season. None of the things that make TV bearable. I do have fight scenes and I might be able to live with that. For fight scenes then! Still a whole lot of character and plot reworking would be nice.

Grade: D

Best Quote - Aramis: "So at the end of it all, what do we have? No glory." Porthos: "No money." D'Artagnan: "No love." Aramis: "None of the things that make life bearable." Athos: "We have honor." Aramis: "I can live with that." D'Artagnan: "For honor then." Porthos: "Still a little money would be nice."

Best Reason to Watch / Best Character Interaction - Milday and Sarazin

The "You Suck" Award - D'Artagnan and Constance and the writers for going here. Add Monsieur Bonacieux and his emotional blackmail for good measure. Throw in Aramis and the Queen as well. Urgh! You people suck!

Best Moment - Sarazin makes everyone bow to Milady

The "Say What?" Award - Since when are D'Artagnan and Athos best friends. I would say he's closer to Aramis than Athos, who is more of a mentor.

Best Addition - Sarazin, who delights in Milady's cold-blooded murder of his employee, wins. Still Celine the boozy floozy gets an honorable mention without much dialogue at all. Impressive!

Funniest - Aramis and Porthos keep interrupting Athos' funeral

Most Well-Played/ Most Out of Character - Aramis and Porthos keep passing the blank letter back and forth to get the Cardinal talking….and the Cardinal falls for it. When did he become brainless?

Best Return to Power - The Queen owned the Cardinal for a good 10 seconds before he got even more powerful dirt on her. And so the status quo remains.

The "Even I Can't Suspend Belief This Much" Award - The Musketeers run the gauntlet of the alley without a scratch but Sarazin's entire criminal enterprise is defeated. Whatever.

Surviving Jack - 1.02 - Gonna Make You Sweat

Grade: A-

Best Scene - Jack tells Frankie some people are worth making an effort to keep in your life

Best Quote - Mikey: "I know where you're going with this and yes, I will take steroids." Jack: "I don't think someone who looks like you can afford a case of back-ne. Permission to cross the line." Mikey: "I'm pretty sure you just did but okay."

Best Character Interaction - Jack and Frankie

The "You Have to be Kidding" Moment - Just as Frankie is about to catch a pop-up, Jack shoots a sawed off. I'm not sure who was more startled, Frankie or me. Bwah, once my heart started again.

Most Creative - the teen boys create well-made jousting sticks, American Gladiator style

Best Entrance - Jack stands with a baseball bat at the foot of Frankie's bed, scaring the life from him

Biggest Understatement - Frankie: "Perhaps this was a bad idea."

The "Oh No, You Didn't" Award - Jack fakes a heart attack to see how Frankie does under pressure. That is so far beyond warped. Frankie should have kicked him in the kneecaps. You're going to regret it when you really are having a heart attack and he heads outside with his friends.

Best Reaction - Joanne tells Jack that she thinks it's over between Rachel and Doug, which causes Jack to go in for a celebratory hug like they just won a battle.

Most Diabolical - Jack for putting rubber snakes all over the house to rattle people




TBBT - 7.09 - The Indecision Amalgamation

It's hard to sell a comedy on the premise that none of the main characters can make a decision. Let's face it, waffling is hardly entertaining. Therefore they had big obstacles to overcome. The best addition was Emily because she brought some sweetness to an otherwise laugh track-distracting episode. I hope she continues. I'm also a Wil Wheaton fan, since Stand by Me by the way, so whenever he guests my regard for the episode tends to go up. I thought Sheldon's wavering between two gaming systems was ridiculous, but in all fairness that's because I don't care about gaming one iota. I understood his blathering about as much as Amy did so those segments tended to drag on for me, killing the plot momentum. It was nice to see Raj winning for once though.

Grade: C+

Best Scene / Best Aww Moment - Raj's date with Emily

Best Quote - Raj: "Fate has given me a rare second chance, and I swear to Vishnu I'm not going to blow it. Or normal words followed by a charming smile."

Best Character Interaction - Raj and Emily

Best Reason to Watch - Wil Wheaton

The "Say Huh?" Award - Do people really put this much thought in the gaming system they buy? Color me surprised. I haven't been fond of a videogame since Pong.

Best Reaction - Amy cares as much about Sheldon's dilemma as I do. Her over enthusiasm makes me laugh. When you have no clue what they are talking about it is best to repeat with enthusiasm or smile and nod.

Biggest Shock - Raj has some game with his astrology for lovers story

Best Moment - Wil Wheaton is in the same terrible movie as Penny

The Nostalgia Award - I had a Zune too, Sheldon. I read all the reviews and then regretted it.

Crazy Ones - 1.19 - Danny Chase Hates Brad Paisley

I loved the guest stars and there were a couple of great moments between Simon and Zach, but for the most part this episode felt a little blah. There weren't a lot of big laughs and the assistant felt rushed into the episode. I liked her but the story was pushed into the corners of the episode, which isn't normally how new characters are introduced. Mostly this was all about the guest stars, but maybe to the detriment of the plot.

Grade: C+

Best Scene - Paisley vs. Chase

Funniest - Lauren and Sydney explain to Andrew all the different ways to be unavailable after a date

Best Quote - Zach: "Let me drive you to the hospital." Simon: "No, you care too much about the safety of pedestrians. Andrew?" Andrew: "On it."

Best Character Interaction - Simon and Zach

Best Twist - Brad cut Danny for a reality show and that's why he's so upset

Scariest - Sorry Zach but Simon's angry face has nothing on Josh Groban saying, "hizzouse".

Best Guest Star - Brad Paisley. Sorry Groban, but Paisley has an entire snark lineup

Best Continuity - Sydney has a restraining order out on Danny Chase

Elementary - 2.19 - The Many Mouths of Aaron Colville

The best part of this episode was of course the interaction between Sherlock and Watson, but the emotional baggage Watson sorted through was a drain on the story. In a word, it was boring. I found the case to be far more exciting than the characters which is unusual for Elementary.

Grade: C

Best Scene - Sherlock tells Watson that targeting the doctor will not solve her problem. She needs to forgive herself.

Best Quote - Detective Loughlin: "Anyway I figured if my guy did this, maybe the NYPD only needs one vampire hunter." / Sherlock: "He did it with no official record so that his valued assistant would not have to wait for treatment. I'd do the same for you if you lost all your teeth in a prison fight."

Best Reference - Mrs. Hudson / the year's never-ending winter

The "Say What?" Award - I work with transparencies and there is no way what that guy handed Sherlock is 27,000 transparencies. It would be too thick for one person to carry one-handed.

Most Unique Way to Catch a Criminal - Sherlock holds a sign saying, "Help me catch a murderer by punching me in the arm."

Best Twist - several people have the same dentures so the bite print is less than conclusive

Biggest Question - I think I missed something. Wouldn't it have to be Aaron Colville who committed the original murders if they made the prints of his teeth after he was locked up for that crime? Why would they have ever thought he was innocent?

Best Continuity - Sherlock keeps waking Watson up and picking out her clothes. I wonder why she hasn't killed him yet.

Best Alibi - Couldn't have killed anyone because you 've been following the Grateful Dead tour

The "No Fair" Award - You can't tease us with a cross-dressing Johnny Lee Miller wearing a prom dress and singing Frozen songs and then not show it. I call foul.

Community - 5.11 - G. I. Jeff

When Community goes way out there, it is usually either a big success or a complete failure. There is rarely middle ground, but that's where this episode sits. As someone who watched GI Joe commercials, that was the funniest part. However, having Fourth Wall keep up a running commentary on kid cartoon snark was excellent too. The only problem was that some places dragged and the episode was more whimsical than outright funny.

Grade: B

Best Scene - The Cobra employees want hazard pay, more than minimum wage, and better benefits. Even terrorists need insurance I guess.

Best Awww Moment - everyone brings it in for a hug

Funniest - All the GI Joe commercials

Best Quote - Fourth Wall: "My fourth wall penetrating powers combined with this medium's lack of internal logic should allow me to come up with an oversimplified solution." Ha! There is a lot of TV without any internal logic these days.

Best Twist - Jeff was upset about his birthday and that's why he created this reality. Aww Jeff, 40 is nothing.

MVP - Fourth Wall for all the snark and meta

Best Title Card - Community: A Show Set in a Community College / Endorsed by the Federal Council of Safest Children Ever

Best GI Joe Name - Placeholder

Wonderland - 1.13 - And They Lived…

Wonderland doesn't mess around with its "happily ever after." Except Jafar, everyone gets one and even he gets to off Daddy Dearest so win for him. Ana is resurrected, despite the ban on magical cures, because the water witch decides it wasn't her time to die. In a truly bizarre twist, half of Wonderland comes to London to watch Alice marry Cyrus without anyone from London even batting an eye at the fact that she's married by a talking rabbit. Um, okay. I guess I am used to genre shows with decidedly non-happy endings, but the power of love is strong in this one. So is the ability to tie up almost every hanging plot thread in 42 minutes or less. What didn't work though was the weird pacing. They rushed through resolving the Jafar crisis but threw in weird slo-mo segments like Alice being captured and the wedding at the end. The first 30 minutes felt incredibly rushed while the last 12 dragged on.

Grade: C+

Best Plot Twist - neither Alice nor Cyrus take out Jafar

Best Quote - White Rabbit: "Seriously, who needs a photo album when you've got this. Look kids, here is where Alice almost died. And oooh look, this is where Cyrus' spleen fell out."

Best Reason to Watch - everything gets resolved with little plot left hanging

The "Screw You" Award - No matter how sympathetic they try to make you, Sultan, I'm not buying it. You were the original problem. You and Cyrus. A child does NOT have to earn a parent's love! Screw you, Sultan Douche. I'm good with Jafar murdering you.

Best Addition - Magic carpet

MVP - White Rabbit, who made everything more fun

Biggest Sucker Punch - Jafar brings Ana back and makes her fall in love with him just to hurt Will

Strangest Time for Slo-Mo - Alice comes into Jafar's presence

The "They Totally Needed to Rock The Glory of Love" Award - When Will breaks through Jafar's boundary by the sheer power of love and kisses Ana to break the spell

Grimm - 3.17 - Synchronicity

I have been waiting for the return of Mama Grimm since the moment she left last time. Things are always more interesting when she's around. Of course, I didn't predict how interesting given she expected Nick to protect Adalind. What a mess! I really enjoyed the Meisner scenes in this episode too and I am sad that we may not see him anytime soon. He's been a joy. I also loved the snappy dialogue. What didn't work though was ALL the exposition to remind people what happened in the first two seasons. For someone who has seen all of Grimm, it halted the forward movement in several places. I hope Mama Grimm sticks around for awhile because it is a waste of her awesomeness to stick her in the middle of one exposition scene after another. I did like how they gave us a flashback of the night Aunt Marie took Nick away for safety though. It was a bittersweet mother-son moment and the only flashback that worked for me. Probably because all the rest were recapitations. Overall though, this episode marked what I hope will be Grimm returning to its former goodness.

Grade: B-

Best Action - Meisner vs. the Verrat

Biggest Aww Moment - Young Mama Grimm says goodbye to Nick as he leaves with Marie

Best Reason to Fast Forward - ALL recapitations, anything Viktor, and Nick and Juliette engagement issues

Most Humorous - It sounds like Hank and Nick are talking about a case but really they are discussing whether Nick should go to Monroe and Rosalee's wedding

Best Character Transformation - Motherhood has made Adalind actually tolerable. Awesome!

The Schmuck Award - Renard got Castle Spy killed and he doesn't even have a word to say about his death. Douche!

The Pipedream Award - Mama Grimm says Adalind's baby has to have a normal childhood. How exactly is a Demon Baby with supernatural powers going to be normal?

Most Hideous TV Wedding Dress - I have no idea who thought this dress was flattering, but everything about it on Rosalee is terrible. She looks like she should be acting in a Victorian vaudeville show.

Best Assumption - Monroe and Rosalee assume there's a dead body when Nick shows up. It's a fair assumption.

Best Suddenly Canon Mythology - Wesen know Nick's a Grimm when they woge because of his eyes

The "Well Duh" Award - Juliette worries about what will happen if Nick's glasses fall off. Is closing his eyes suddenly not an option? How about avoiding everyone's gaze until he can put them back on? Commonsense does not run deep here.

Most Eye-Rolling - They replay a conversation we heard not 8 minutes earlier to lead us into a flashback. Do they think their dialogue is that forgettable that we wouldn't remember something we just heard?






Screencaps by FOX, TV Guide, Seat 42F, NBC, Yahoo, Zap2It, FanPop, StuffPoint, CityTV, Uverse, CW Tampa, TV Guide, CBS, ABC, Tumblr, WRWD Country, CraveOnline, The 100 France, TV.com, and Two Cents TV.

It's been 4 seasons now since Myka and Pete were protecting the president and meeting Artie and later Claudia for the first time. Since then we've experienced a few near apocalypses, a time traveling woman of substance, a human lie detector, hundreds of guest stars, legions of villains, and even more artifacts. We’ve even sadly experienced death together - I still miss you Leena. Now our journey is about to end. Six more episodes and we leave the warehouse forever. (Or until we can convince SyFy to do some movies.) So it's lucky the premiere starts with a bang! Picking up directly where the season 4 finale ends, Claudia confronts Paracelsus in an artifact war. However, being the evil genius he is, Paracelsus realizes that Claudia's connection to the warehouse makes her vulnerable to his control. He forces her to show him what she knows and even to fight Pete and Steve. Worse, he combines their knowledge to modify a favorite artifact, causing the Endless Terror of the title. It's up to our fearless quartet to save the Claudia and the world again.

Overall this is a great premiere. It is very funny and full of action, including a sword fight, and the story is trimmed to the basics so there's very little filler. It's overloaded with at least 14 named artifacts and even more unnamed. Best yet, three favorite former guest stars return and at least 2 more are referenced. It's a glorious trip down memory lane that rewards long-time viewers and ends on a cliffhanger that is sure to intrigue. The only downsides are that one story line I wish they had pursued further ended and Claudia and Artie are in a very rocky place with little time to reconcile. Plus of course, there's only 5 episodes after this one. Other than that, it is Warehouse 13 at its snarky, quirky best. It looks like season 5, though short, will end with a bang.


Teasers -

1. At least 3 favorite former guest stars return, one of which looks to have a recurring role in the final season.

2. From this episode, it looks like at least one character will be gone before the end of the season.

3. Some of the artifacts used include: Bleckwenn's stethoscope, a bomb form Hitler's bunker, an elephant tusk, Joan of Arc's helmet, Louis the XIV's silverware, Sargon the Great's mirrors, and Theodosius of Bithynia's sundial.

4. References include: 2 of Hitler, Colombo, da Vinci, Harry Potter, The Olive Garden, Star Trek, Star Wars, and more.

5. Isabella is awesome. Lisa is pretty cool too.


Episode Awards -

Grade:  B+

Best Quote - Artie: "I'm still the same man that's loved you like a father since the day you put me in electrified handcuffs and kidnapped me. I'm just trying to protect me." Claudia: "You can't, Artie. You can't protect me anymore. You have to let me make my own mistakes and you have to let me get hurt if that's what's supposed to happen."

Funniest Character Interaction - Steve and Artie

Best Character Interaction - Myka and Pete

MVP - the regents' manual addendums

Worst Plan - Artie and the shield

Best Prank - Ralph Brunsky, Egyptian terrorist

Best Save - Isabella

Best Diversion - Yelling, "We're here," and knocking over some artifacts

The "Poor Baby" Award - Steve, who keeps getting beat up

Worst Motto - Scientia Sit Omne - Media ad Pinem Justificat


Other Quotes -

"And since when do you decide who does what?"
"Aw, dad.""Now or you're going to be grounded for a week."
"Hell of a time for a retreat.""I don't think a warehouse coup was on anyone's calendar."
"I am your partner; I'm not your girlfriend."
"I'm sorry. I left my Claudia-Artie codebook in my other pants, so spill."
"Jumper cables again. What could possibly go wrong?"
"Looks like your warehouse still has a little bit of a crush on me."
"Wait. Wait. Wait. Oh come on."
"Well it's this feeling that something is changing. I can't explain it, but something has begun. It's good and bad."
"You can say emergency all you want but it's still illegal.""Oh please, of all the illegal things I've done, this is probably the least illegal."
"You know I too was thought to be mad. We have that in common.""Except I'm a normal human being and you're a sociopathic murderer. Other than that, we're twins."

A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team this past week. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off below the article.



The Big Bang Theory -

Sheldon: "Let me put this in a way you'll understand, Penny. You remember how you explained to me that the Kardashians aren't real celebrities. Well, geology is the Kardashians of science." (Dahne)

Sheldon: "Couldn't sleep." Penny: "I told you those Walking Dead pillowcases were a bad idea." (Dahne)



The Crazy Ones -

Simon: "You're cheating. You're on Wikipedia and this page is not even verified." (Dahne)

Andrew: "That was our fourth lunch. I returned the keys 3 days ago. Guess what that means. Lesson is learned. Don't be nice. Help no one." Zach: "I do not accept that. You're not that guy. I need you to be Andrew the Good. We've got to find a way out of this Jean situation." (Dahne)



Elementary -

Dead Alastair: "I'm sorry I let you down." Sherlock: "You didn't let me down. What you did has got nothing to do with me. I understand that. I came here today because…um, because I loved you very much and I wanted you to know that you'll be missed." (Dahne)

Sherlock: "Upon tasting it…" Watson: "Wait. You tasted the anthrax?" (Dahne)



Game of Thrones -

Oberyn Martell: "Tell your father I’m here. And tell him the Lannisters aren’t the only ones who pay their debts." (Samy Bgs and Sandi)

Arya: "Something wrong with your leg boy." Polliver: "What, what, what do you mean?" Arya: "Can you walk, I got to carry you." Polliver: "Carry you?" Arya: "Fine little blade. Maybe I'll pick my teeth with it." (Sandi)



NCIS -

Delilah: "Are you alone, Tony?" Tony: "In my own way." McGee: "Tony, what are you doing in the closet?" Tony: "Finding myself." (Tonya Papanikolas)






NCIS: LA -

Deeks: “Sam went undercover for an entire year as a somnambulist – you know, one of those wine guys.” Sam: “Sommelier, Deeks. Somnambulist is a sleepwalker – kind of like what you do on the job.” (Tonya Papanikolas and Dahne)

Deeks: "We haven't had a lot of time to chat since you've been back." Kensi: "I know. That's gonna change." Deeks: "You mean... it's gonna change?... Does that mean that... Wait a minute, are you back?" Kensi: "It sure looks like it." Deeks: "That's good news.... I was getting a little worried because I'm pretty sure Nell was falling in love with me." (Kensi punches Deeks in the chest.) Deeks: "God! ... And there she is." Kensi: "Here I am. It's good to be back." Deeks: "It's good to have you back." (Tonya Papanikolas)



Once Upon a Time -

Hook: "Perhaps I can talk to him." Emma: "About what? Leather conditioner and eyeliner?" (Samy Bgs)





Reign -

Mary: "I’m the Queen of Scotland, not the Queen of Marie de Guise." (Samy Bgs and Sandi)

Bash: "Father, I think Queen Penelope is getting jealous, you know how women are around you." Henry: "It's a burden sometimes." (Sandi)



Screencaps by Digital Spy, Uverse Online, MSN, Glide, Once Podcast, and International Business Times.